Ok

Na your wife

Use her for money rituals

Charles1888:
I had to create a new account for this

I don't know how to get through to my wife anymore, of which the fault is mine, when we were dating, she showed that she was committed to me and loved me wholeheartedly but I was reluctant to marry her cos she was of age, I wanted someone younger, say under 25, but something important that i have to acquire made me marry all of a sudden and she was the only one available, don't get me wrong, I loved her then, her peaceful and humble soul but for some reason I simply can't understand I felt she wasn't enough, but I was wrong, she was perfect, the best I can ever wish for and more, she is everything,

After we got married, you know newlyweds now, the quarrels about every little thing, it was much then, so this particular incident made me so worked up and angry I made a statement I shouldnt have said, during the heated argument I told her that she was never who I would have married, that she wasn't my specs, she was too old (31 lol) that if someone younger was available I wouldn't blink twice before I'll marry the person.

After saying all that, I wasn't sober about it, she held on to that statement, I knew she cried that night, since then we don't talk, play, gist anymore, we became distant, though I apologised the next morning but things isn't just the same anymore, communication isn't there, she only talks to me when she wants to ask or say necessary things, nothing more, though she still cooks, we still have sex, infact every other aspect is fine except for communication, anytime I come back from work and I'm in the sitting room, she doesn't stay there, she either goes to the room or dinning room, I have begged and begged and I don't want to involve third party cos I obviously caused this, when she got pregnant, she didn't tell me till I saw the strip, when I asked why she said she forgot, and we had plans to celebrate when she takes in, I was sad that day, I begged and asked to tell me anything she wants and I'll do it, I'll make it up to her,,she said she wants nothing that she is fine, I love her, she is my baby, we use to be gist buddies, I missed that and I want it back.

I don't know what to do anymore, it's my fault I know that and I'm sorry I ever said that cos it hurt her deeply, I told her to tell me more evil things so that we will be even, she said she can't that she loves me, we are drifting apart, I can feel it,

Pls help me folks, I came here becos I want anonymous advise, what else can I do to make the hurt go away?

Words are like eggs...once dropped that is it.

I honestly don't know what to say but my advise is that you try to convince her the more by your acts of love.

How old are you really for you to see a 31 year old as old for you?

GrabHisBalls:
There's nothing anyone on Nairalander could help you with. You were actually not ready for marriage before you delved into it. If you've ever attended marriage seminars/relationship talk shows, you would have known that words are very powerful. No matter the provocation, there are things you don't utter. People forgive, but those words live with them. Most times, not consciously 'cause even subconscious keeps to information. There are certain "truth" you don't say if it's going to cause emotional damages even if it's the truth. I laugh when people blab things to hurt people, then tag it "the truth". You're simply being insensitive. It' s not every truth you should say in the open. Maturity has taught me to keep quiet when provoked.

Your wife may have forgiven, but those words can never be erased even though she desires to.

How does this help the op?

Guy ...go and get this film...FIRE PROOF

My advice?
Listen to the positive advice of the ladies here.

Additionally, keep begging for forgiveness every day if you can.

omotola224:
A woman loves unconditionally but when you cross boundaries she can decide to unlove you with the same energy.
Men can often be insensitive through their actions but when you say it to their face then it's a confirmation of what you have been thinking. Never get to this point with a woman who genuinely loves you. That being said
You have to keep trying...
When she leaves you alone in the sitting room go and meet her. Gist with her.
Take her out on dates
Surprise her
You have to do things like you are just asking her out all over again.
Over one of your dates tell her you are sorry and would love to be the love of her life once again. Pls let it show that you are truly remorseful.

She will forgive you only you might have to reassure her over and over again.

Note: watch what you say henceforth .

Goodluck!

Whenever I come across ladies that are quick to say "men are..." I get confused. What exactly am I missing please? How many men have such ladies met to arrive at such baseless conclusion? I do avoid such ladies like the plague of Egypt because they are always bitter.
To u here, Tractatus said that one should remain silent when u can't speak meaningfully and I think he had you in mind then.
Stop the generalization

healthserve:



My little chum chum

Don't trouble yourself shebi you baby would arrive very soon,by the time you see both of you carbon copy you would be force to communicate better and also understand you have a new competitor .

Temitope009:
Okay, it's been done. What's the way forward?
It's good you're sober now. That's a good start, we can take it from there.
First, you have to be very very patient with her, words alone cannot undo how much those words hurt. You have to show her in action. Try by doing the very little things that matter to us as women. Few tips..

Kiss her on her forehead at least once a day, look into her eyes and tell her how much she means to you.
Buy her gifts.
Try not to get angry at her mistakes or making a graver mistake to say hurtful things to her, it'll undo all these kindness from start again.
Just take it slow and with time, she'll come around. Time heals all wounds.
All the best sir.

too much telemundo is bad...come on be realistic for once.

It's very unfortunate that I didn't meet this thread on time. It's in my culture not to comment on a thread that had been trending, especially when it has gone beyond two pages.

I even saw it when it hasn't got to the front page but I didn't know it's a crucial topic like this.

Concisely, my brother you're still a small boy.

It's clystal clear that she is older than you. It tells in your triat and hers to you too.

I just have one word for you, THINK AND GROW WISE

Believe you me, if she forgives you, you go still find another thing to tell her. Sometimes, I wonder where the boldness to talk down on others right at their presence comes from. Bros, deal with whatever you brought upon yourself.

omotola224:
A woman loves unconditionally but when you cross boundaries she can decide to unlove you with the same energy.
Men can often be insensitive through their actions but when you say it to their face then it's a confirmation of what you have been thinking. Never get to this point with a woman who genuinely loves you. That being said
You have to keep trying...
When she leaves you alone in the sitting room go and meet her. Gist with her.
Take her out on dates
Surprise her
You have to do things like you are just asking her out all over again.
Over one of your dates tell her you are sorry and would love to be the love of her life once again. Pls let it show that you are truly remorseful.

She will forgive you only you might have to reassure her over and over again.

Note: watch what you say henceforth .

Goodluck!

If she can't forgive, then she's not worthy of being a wife. I can't live with an unforgiving bitch.

Charles1888:
I had to create a new account for this

I don't know how to get through to my wife anymore, of which the fault is mine, when we were dating, she showed that she was committed to me and loved me wholeheartedly but I was reluctant to marry her cos she was of age, I wanted someone younger, say under 25, but something important that i have to acquire made me marry all of a sudden and she was the only one available, don't get me wrong, I loved her then, her peaceful and humble soul but for some reason I simply can't understand I felt she wasn't enough, but I was wrong, she was perfect, the best I can ever wish for and more, she is everything,

After we got married, you know newlyweds now, the quarrels about every little thing, it was much then, so this particular incident made me so worked up and angry I made a statement I shouldnt have said, during the heated argument I told her that she was never who I would have married, that she wasn't my specs, she was too old (31 lol) that if someone younger was available I wouldn't blink twice before I'll marry the person.

After saying all that, I wasn't sober about it, she held on to that statement, I knew she cried that night, since then we don't talk, play, gist anymore, we became distant, though I apologised the next morning but things isn't just the same anymore, communication isn't there, she only talks to me when she wants to ask or say necessary things, nothing more, though she still cooks, we still have sex, infact every other aspect is fine except for communication, anytime I come back from work and I'm in the sitting room, she doesn't stay there, she either goes to the room or dinning room, I have begged and begged and I don't want to involve third party cos I obviously caused this, when she got pregnant, she didn't tell me till I saw the strip, when I asked why she said she forgot, and we had plans to celebrate when she takes in, I was sad that day, I begged and asked to tell me anything she wants and I'll do it, I'll make it up to her,,she said she wants nothing that she is fine, I love her, she is my baby, we use to be gist buddies, I missed that and I want it back.

I don't know what to do anymore, it's my fault I know that and I'm sorry I ever said that cos it hurt her deeply, I told her to tell me more evil things so that we will be even, she said she can't that she loves me, we are drifting apart, I can feel it,

Pls help me folks, I came here becos I want anonymous advise, what else can I do to make the hurt go away?

She's not ready for marriage,.... there's more to that in marriage.

If u want ur marriage to last long, such statements shouldn't hold water, grudges shouldn't be elongated. I have been married for 4 yrs now going to 5yrs. We've said worse things to each other yet, we're waxing strong. Pride & ego are things to put behind in marital issues.

Ignore d incessant apologies, she'll reset with time but I don't think this issue is vast enough to make her distant herself from you. She's ur wife. U are d head, u said it out of anger, it wasn't intentional.

Be a man bro, stop apologizing, u're d Boss of d house. When she realizes that, she'll be adjusting gradually.

Mind u, women don't like men that are too soft.

#Shalom

Two words for u...
Ur fada �️!

Brother Op, that words was too harsh but no one is above mistake

how are we sure you won't utter that words again at the point of provocation and misunderstanding


is she older than you? if yes you're lucky and if no then wtf! about your emphasis on age. you sound funny and sad for saying you want to marry 25yrs lady? except she be Virgin, na you and her ex go dey enjoy her pvssy together


she's pregnant this is the time she need much love, do you know any of her female friends? why not organise decent baby shower for her with two instrumentalist trumpet and guitar to feature in that surprise, believe me that will always linger her memory and that will put you guys back in shape and before then at your leisure time when you're at home, join her do domestic work like cooking together in the kitchen and sorts

Go out for one week without telling ur where about when she sees u again the whole thing will change

zeb04:


Hmmmm .

I’d be very very hurt if my husband said that to me. It means to me that the foundation of ny marriage is faulty.

I bet she is reminiscing about the wedding. All the while dancing,laughing and planning her marriage but never good enough.

How about you go on a weekend getaway and truly apologize, then you leave it there.

People take time to forgive and heal, it doesn’t mean they are wicked. The healing process takes time.

Which smelling healing process are you talking about here?? It's people like you that give women incentives for being weak and stupid. Nonsense!!

Take her out to a very nice hotel for the weekend and during that time go to different restaurants and cinemas.massage her very well every day morning and night don't fail o.

trust me from there things to talk about will come up again and never in your life should you shout at her no matter what,learn to control your anger and control your words

healthserve:



..........Your profile PC is super duper hilarious

I swear ghon
.....it even made me laugh out loud as soon as I checked it out just NOW

{my girl just suddenly woke up & asked me WHAT'S WRONG?}

Lol

Temitope009:
Okay, it's been done. What's the way forward?
It's good you're sober now. That's a good start, we can take it from there.
First, you have to be very very patient with her, words alone cannot undo how much those words hurt. You have to show her in action. Try by doing the very little things that matter to us as women. Few tips..

Kiss her on her forehead at least once a day, look into her eyes and tell her how much she means to you.
Buy her gifts.
Try not to get angry at her mistakes or making a graver mistake to say hurtful things to her, it'll undo all these kindness from start again.
Just take it slow and with time, she'll come around. Time heals all wounds.
All the best sir.

Rubbish!! If she can't forgive as soon as possible, all those drama won't work. I'm even surprised the man is still eating her food. If I offend you and you can't forgive quickly, I'll divorce you ASAP. I cannot come and put my life at risk.

GrabHisBalls:
There's nothing anyone on Nairalander could help you with. You were actually not ready for marriage before you delved into it. If you've ever attended marriage seminars/relationship talk shows, you would have known that words are very powerful. No matter the provocation, there are things you don't utter. People forgive, but those words live with them. Most times, not consciously 'cause even subconscious keeps to information. There are certain "truth" you don't say if it's going to cause emotional damages even if it's the truth. I laugh when people blab things to hurt people, then tag it "the truth". You're simply being insensitive. It' s not every truth you should say in the open. Maturity has taught me to keep quiet when provoked.

Your wife may have forgiven, but those words can never be erased even though she desires to.

Another man or men are fucking her. I almost fooled myself when I failed to tackle my wife when she was doing so. But being an Esan man, the gods of my father struck her hard till she confessed.

Charles1888:
I had to create a new account for this

I don't know how to get through to my wife anymore, of which the fault is mine, when we were dating, she showed that she was committed to me and loved me wholeheartedly but I was reluctant to marry her cos she was of age, I wanted someone younger, say under 25, but something important that i have to acquire made me marry all of a sudden and she was the only one available, don't get me wrong, I loved her then, her peaceful and humble soul but for some reason I simply can't understand I felt she wasn't enough, but I was wrong, she was perfect, the best I can ever wish for and more, she is everything,

After we got married, you know newlyweds now, the quarrels about every little thing, it was much then, so this particular incident made me so worked up and angry I made a statement I shouldnt have said, during the heated argument I told her that she was never who I would have married, that she wasn't my specs, she was too old (31 lol) that if someone younger was available I wouldn't blink twice before I'll marry the person.

After saying all that, I wasn't sober about it, she held on to that statement, I knew she cried that night, since then we don't talk, play, gist anymore, we became distant, though I apologised the next morning but things isn't just the same anymore, communication isn't there, she only talks to me when she wants to ask or say necessary things, nothing more, though she still cooks, we still have sex, infact every other aspect is fine except for communication, anytime I come back from work and I'm in the sitting room, she doesn't stay there, she either goes to the room or dinning room, I have begged and begged and I don't want to involve third party cos I obviously caused this, when she got pregnant, she didn't tell me till I saw the strip, when I asked why she said she forgot, and we had plans to celebrate when she takes in, I was sad that day, I begged and asked to tell me anything she wants and I'll do it, I'll make it up to her,,she said she wants nothing that she is fine, I love her, she is my baby, we use to be gist buddies, I missed that and I want it back.

I don't know what to do anymore, it's my fault I know that and I'm sorry I ever said that cos it hurt her deeply, I told her to tell me more evil things so that we will be even, she said she can't that she loves me, we are drifting apart, I can feel it,

Pls help me folks, I came here becos I want anonymous advise, what else can I do to make the hurt go away?

Buy her a gift, im not saying car or materialistic stuff like that, but something romantic, flowers, chocolates with a letter telling her you are sorry and that you love her. Just do something out of the ordinary, something a regular nigerian wont do... She deserves it. Afterwards, just keep telling pushing, she will forgive.

Respect55:

Whenever I come across ladies that are quick to say "men are..." I get confused. What exactly am I missing please? How many men have such ladies met to arrive at such baseless conclusion? I do avoid such ladies like the plague of Egypt because they are always bitter.
To u here, Tractatus said that one should remain silent when u can't speak meaningfully and I think he had you in mind then.
Stop the generalization

She said 'men can' and not 'men are'. Seems you are the confused one here. Besides you men also generalize and it is the bitter truth. If you like don't swallow your ego and learn.

perryy:
Another man or men are fucking her. I almost fooled myself when I failed to tackle my wife when she was doing so. But being an Esan man, the gods of my father struck her hard till she confessed.

Stop all these trash.....lying just because a woman dumped you is pathetic. Move on and stop wailing like a bitch.

This is the kind of story women like. See them feasting on the thread. Yeye people.
Op, don't eat her food anymore. She might poison you. How can you live with a woman who can't forgive you?? You're putting your life at risk.

If you've apologized and truly remorseful and are taking the right actions to make her happy and she's still unyielding, let her go and..........
Shey she be devil ni. Abeg bone ha if she doesn't want to forgive and forget

iPhone 6 16g for sale any interested buyer should dm me on this number 08065715549 within Lagos State, very neat and working perfect

GrabHisBalls:
There's nothing anyone on Nairalander could help you with. You were actually not ready for marriage before you delved into it. If you've ever attended marriage seminars/relationship talk shows, you would have known that words are very powerful. No matter the provocation, there are things you don't utter. People forgive, but those words live with them. Most times, not consciously 'cause even subconscious keeps to information. There are certain "truth" you don't say if it's going to cause emotional damages even if it's the truth. I laugh when people blab things to hurt people, then tag it "the truth". You're simply being insensitive. It' s not every truth you should say in the open. Maturity has taught me to keep quiet when provoked.

Your wife may have forgiven, but those words can never be erased even though she desires to.

I beg to differ ma'am. Everyone makes mistakes, from as little as a pencil mark to something as grave as the index topic.

Not that it's his birth right to be forgiven, but just as it's his, it's her marriage to and they both deserve a chance to make it work and moving past his moment of insensitivity isn't too much of a price for that.

And beyond this, she should do it for their child, he deserves to meet a happy home.

Charles1888:
I had to create a new account for this

I don't know how to get through to my wife anymore, of which the fault is mine, when we were dating, she showed that she was committed to me and loved me wholeheartedly but I was reluctant to marry her cos she was of age, I wanted someone younger, say under 25, but something important that i have to acquire made me marry all of a sudden and she was the only one available, don't get me wrong, I loved her then, her peaceful and humble soul but for some reason I simply can't understand I felt she wasn't enough, but I was wrong, she was perfect, the best I can ever wish for and more, she is everything,

After we got married, you know newlyweds now, the quarrels about every little thing, it was much then, so this particular incident made me so worked up and angry I made a statement I shouldnt have said, during the heated argument I told her that she was never who I would have married, that she wasn't my specs, she was too old (31 lol) that if someone younger was available I wouldn't blink twice before I'll marry the person.

After saying all that, I wasn't sober about it, she held on to that statement, I knew she cried that night, since then we don't talk, play, gist anymore, we became distant, though I apologised the next morning but things isn't just the same anymore, communication isn't there, she only talks to me when she wants to ask or say necessary things, nothing more, though she still cooks, we still have sex, infact every other aspect is fine except for communication, anytime I come back from work and I'm in the sitting room, she doesn't stay there, she either goes to the room or dinning room, I have begged and begged and I don't want to involve third party cos I obviously caused this, when she got pregnant, she didn't tell me till I saw the strip, when I asked why she said she forgot, and we had plans to celebrate when she takes in, I was sad that day, I begged and asked to tell me anything she wants and I'll do it, I'll make it up to her,,she said she wants nothing that she is fine, I love her, she is my baby, we use to be gist buddies, I missed that and I want it back.

I don't know what to do anymore, it's my fault I know that and I'm sorry I ever said that cos it hurt her deeply, I told her to tell me more evil things so that we will be even, she said she can't that she loves me, we are drifting apart, I can feel it,

Pls help me folks, I came here becos I want anonymous advise, what else can I do to make the hurt go away?

I give you credit for trying to right this terrible wrong you did to her but you must learn not to repeat that again because you are dealing with a highly sensitive woman who is having a hard time forgiving you. Women are very sensitive and that's why they are different from men. I don't know why you expect your life partner to easily get over telling her that you shouldn't have married her.

Married couples should stay away from telling their partners hurtful things. period.

Well, the good thing is that she is still performing her wifely duties like cooking, cleaning and the sex stuff. At least you are lucky she is not looking for the sharpest knife to cut off your head but that doesn't mean your problem is over bro.

keep reaching out to her, talk with her, play with her, crack more jokes and reassure her that she will always be your queen and that you have stopped drinking and things will be ok with both of you.

good Luck bro!

GrabHisBalls:
There's nothing anyone on Nairalander could help you with. You were actually not ready for marriage before you delved into it. If you've ever attended marriage seminars/relationship talk shows, you would have known that words are very powerful. No matter the provocation, there are things you don't utter. People forgive, but those words live with them. Most times, not consciously 'cause even subconscious keeps to information. There are certain "truth" you don't say if it's going to cause emotional damages even if it's the truth. I laugh when people blab things to hurt people, then tag it "the truth". You're simply being insensitive. It' s not every truth you should say in the open. Maturity has taught me to keep quiet when provoked.

Your wife may have forgiven, but those words can never be erased even though she desires to.

Wow! You just nailed it there! It’s not every truth u should say in the open. Gbamest!!!