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My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... - Family (8) - Nairaland

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Why Does Sex Slowly Die Off In A Marriage After 10+ Years?? / My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post / My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Tallesty1(m): 11:18pm On Sep 14, 2019
omotola224:
A woman loves unconditionally

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by domido(m): 11:19pm On Sep 14, 2019
omotola224:
A woman loves unconditionally but when you cross boundaries she can decide to unlove you with the same energy.
Men can often be insensitive through their actions but when you say it to their face then it's a confirmation of what you have been thinking. Never get to this point with a woman who genuinely loves you. That being said
You have to keep trying...
When she leaves you alone in the sitting room go and meet her. Gist with her.
Take her out on dates
Surprise her
You have to do things like you are just asking her out all over again.
Over one of your dates tell her you are sorry and would love to be the love of her life once again. Pls let it show that you are truly remorseful.

She will forgive you only you might have to reassure her over and over again.

Note: watch what you say henceforth .

Goodluck!

Follow this.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Rosella1: 11:19pm On Sep 14, 2019
This post is making me so sad... As in my chest dey heavy me, I wanna cry! cry

5 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by nonjebose(m): 11:20pm On Sep 14, 2019
Op, try this. Use every opportunity you have to tease yourself in her presence. How you find yourself so annoying atimes, wondering how she copes with your excesses. A right mixture of self self abasement and comedy will soften her heart

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Ronline(m): 11:22pm On Sep 14, 2019
I do not why men always take women for granted...

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by thehappyone: 11:22pm On Sep 14, 2019
usernamepass:
Bla bla bla..
Op shut da Vuck UP and hold your mount pim..
You are simply not man enough to discuss marrage talkless of getting married.
Real men dont talk too much..
I bet your mouth will leak again and you will repeat the same okpata yaRn again..
You have succeeded in keeling the woman in your wife and now that shes gone..
Bear your cross and dont you ever... I repeat dont you ever come on here to disturb our peace again.
Abi SA Xenophobia never do??
SHOOO
Oga wetin? Why the rant? If you know u've got no advice why can't you just shut it?

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by nonjebose(m): 11:22pm On Sep 14, 2019
Rosella1:
This post is making me so sad... As in my chest dey heavy me, I wanna cry! cry
Cry ke!? Is it Z world? Don't start o!
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Bbbwings: 11:22pm On Sep 14, 2019
Richy4:
That was cold blooded bro.. A technical knock out jizzzz!!!..

This kinda situation deserves 'hail Mary'

Bro this is from me to you.. There are people in this world that got acid mouths. Oh!! When they open it a little, it can divide the red sea.. and u are one of them unfortunately

Killing someone does not necessarily mean using gun or knife.. U have destroyed her self confidence man.. Try and keep your tongue in check in future man..

As for the present situation, maybe you have done enough begging and pleading. Time for action.. U have done your courtship and u know what she likes.. start with that.. she might act like she doesn't want it but keep on doing it still..also give her a little time and space to breathe and think ... She will come around.

In my opinion, taking this case to a third party will further humiliate her the more because that person will like to know what you were fighting about and what you said that made her so upset .. and u can't trust the person not to say it to another person... That will give them a weapon on what to hold against her should there be any misunderstanding between herself and whoever it was that you told..

On a lighter note bro I will suggest that you buy chewing stick in future and keep at home.. if she does or says something that upsets U, and u can't leave the house at that point, and u know that if u opened your mouth, it will shut the whole thing down, just pick up one of the chewing stick and start chewing.. That will keep you mouth in check grin
grin grin grin

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Analysiscorner: 11:22pm On Sep 14, 2019
What you told her in anger, is it not the truth about your life? Come clean on the mistakes you have made and tell her the truth about your life. What I mean is that it is advisable that you you tell her the truth concerning why you married her. Was there really something good you see in her that caused you to choose her? Or you were pushed by family that you must get married before December, then you went for her?
Everyone wants to be appreciated and valued. If you truly love her and see her as the best bride you could ever pick (do you hear me?), then continue to show it everyday by your actions. The day that she will give you audience, tell her that sososo quality in her attracted you to her and that you believe that you have not made a mistake by marrying her.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Rosella1: 11:24pm On Sep 14, 2019
nonjebose:

Cry ke!? Is it Z world? Don't start o!

I'm feeling the woman's pain... God should allow us marry what we know biko!

3 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by merit4: 11:24pm On Sep 14, 2019
Hold her hands daily and pray together. Then always commend any good thing that she does. You may say, "my dear u are so matured, if I had married someone younger, I wouldnt have achieved blablabla. Keep rubbing her ego. Keep attributing every good thing that happens to you to her, that thank God u married her.

She will forgive u but the deep wound needs to heal up. But take note of this, no woman is gentle. The day this kind thing repeats itself ehn, you will hear the story of the day you were born, and how her mummy brought her to your naming ceremony grin

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by frank417: 11:24pm On Sep 14, 2019
Stop eating and always look sober for the moment. Let her begin to ask you questions too, and right there you let her know u can't be or act happy knowing she is still annoyed with u.
Do this often and she will come out and pour her mind to you. Expect beta cry sha grin

In addition, you can also let her make the first move if she wants sex at night. Don't make the first move. Just always hold her passionately when In bed.

5 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Evercurious(f): 11:26pm On Sep 14, 2019
iPrevail:
Stop begging. Change tactics. Just tell her everyday that you love her and she means a lot to you.. Say it every single day, no matter what happens.
If she remains that way till the year ends, just know you married a very vindictive person you should actually be wary of.
If you can't forgive a person or look past their flaws, then you don't love them

Pls dont blame her and even if things dont go back to normal, she isnt vindictive.. Op has simply killed and buried a part of her. So he should learn to live with it till she gets over it.THAT WAS TOO CARELESS OF HIM .SIMPLE

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Cheeryfeet: 11:26pm On Sep 14, 2019
Bro. I understand how you feel and to be sincere you hit below the belt with what you said. Nevertheless begging her to forgive you is not going to be enough, you have to prove to her that you Love. You brought it upon yourself so what you need to do is to start from the beginning all over again. You have to woo her, buy her gifts, take her out, pay close attention to little details, take her to the salon, take her to the market, infact point out subtly to her that you actually prefer matured ladies to all those indomie generation girls that know only Pizza and shwarma,be there for her but one thing you must not do again is to beg. DO NOT BEG
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by obailala(m): 11:27pm On Sep 14, 2019
Charles1888:
I had to create a new account for this

I don't know how to get through to my wife anymore, of which the fault is mine, when we were dating, she showed that she was committed to me and loved me wholeheartedly but I was reluctant to marry her cos she was of age, I wanted someone younger, say under 25, but something important that i have to acquire made me marry all of a sudden and she was the only one available, don't get me wrong, I loved her then, her peaceful and humble soul but for some reason I simply can't understand I felt she wasn't enough, but I was wrong, she was perfect, the best I can ever wish for and more, she is everything,

After we got married, you know newlyweds now, the quarrels about every little thing, it was much then, so this particular incident made me so worked up and angry I made a statement I shouldnt have said, during the heated argument I told her that she was never who I would have married, that she wasn't my specs, she was too old (31 lol) that if someone younger was available I wouldn't blink twice before I'll marry the person.

After saying all that, I wasn't sober about it, she held on to that statement, I knew she cried that night, since then we don't talk, play, gist anymore, we became distant, though I apologised the next morning but things isn't just the same anymore, communication isn't there, she only talks to me when she wants to ask or say necessary things, nothing more, though she still cooks, we still have sex, infact every other aspect is fine except for communication, anytime I come back from work and I'm in the sitting room, she doesn't stay there, she either goes to the room or dinning room, I have begged and begged and I don't want to involve third party cos I obviously caused this, when she got pregnant, she didn't tell me till I saw the strip, when I asked why she said she forgot, and we had plans to celebrate when she takes in, I was sad that day, I begged and asked to tell me anything she wants and I'll do it, I'll make it up to her,,she said she wants nothing that she is fine, I love her, she is my baby, we use to be gist buddies, I missed that and I want it back.

I don't know what to do anymore, it's my fault I know that and I'm sorry I ever said that cos it hurt her deeply, I told her to tell me more evil things so that we will be even, she said she can't that she loves me, we are drifting apart, I can feel it,

Pls help me folks, I came here becos I want anonymous advise, what else can I do to make the hurt go away?
Truth of the matter is that by your statement, you completely murdered the trust she has in you. She may continue to 'act' normal doing stuff like cooking, cleaning, sex etc, but the truth is that you have just afflicted her with a terrible paranoia which will continue to eat her up slowly, and which may eventually kill off any iota of love she has for you.

The situation isn't irredeemable though, but the solution isnt going to be a day's job. It's also not going to simply just involve talking to her or getting anyone to talk to her, cos she would never easily trust anything you say henceforth. She's quiet and withdrawn now because she feels depressed and betrayed and she feels she may have entered a 'one-chance' marriage. You need to change that narrative with actions, not words. Before now, tou might have told her you loved her and she believed you easily, but with your terrible punch, she wouldnt believe words anymore.

The solution lies in you giving her full assurance afresh. You need to rewind things and start treating her exactly the way you would when you first met her (and that means also giving her the treatment as if to say she was the under-25 you desired). In summary, you need to woo her afresh.

3 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by gideonvalor98(m): 11:28pm On Sep 14, 2019
At this juncture, you need involve third party, someone she respects and would heed his or her words...you really hurt her(we called that eebu ara in Yoruba)...we should be guarded in what we alter out of our mouths in emotional situations. She should let go and free her mind. Your marriage is too Early for all this drama...you suppose dey enjoy am as e dey hot. Like what the commenter before me said - you will have to work your way back into her heart affresh. God will help una settle am patapata

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by nonjebose(m): 11:29pm On Sep 14, 2019
Rosella1:


I'm feeling the woman's pain... God should allow us marry what we know biko!
The guy's words were hurtful no doubt, but she owes herself a duty of being happy. Fair enough the guy said he has tried to apologise and cheer her up
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by OlawaleBammie: 11:30pm On Sep 14, 2019
Charles1888:
I had to create a new account for this

I don't know how to get through to my wife anymore, of which the fault is mine, when we were dating, she showed that she was committed to me and loved me wholeheartedly but I was reluctant to marry her cos she was of age, I wanted someone younger, say under 25, but something important that i have to acquire made me marry all of a sudden and she was the only one available, don't get me wrong, I loved her then, her peaceful and humble soul but for some reason I simply can't understand I felt she wasn't enough, but I was wrong, she was perfect, the best I can ever wish for and more, she is everything,

After we got married, you know newlyweds now, the quarrels about every little thing, it was much then, so this particular incident made me so worked up and angry I made a statement I shouldnt have said, during the heated argument I told her that she was never who I would have married, that she wasn't my specs, she was too old (31 lol) that if someone younger was available I wouldn't blink twice before I'll marry the person.

After saying all that, I wasn't sober about it, she held on to that statement, I knew she cried that night, since then we don't talk, play, gist anymore, we became distant, though I apologised the next morning but things isn't just the same anymore, communication isn't there, she only talks to me when she wants to ask or say necessary things, nothing more, though she still cooks, we still have sex, infact every other aspect is fine except for communication, anytime I come back from work and I'm in the sitting room, she doesn't stay there, she either goes to the room or dinning room, I have begged and begged and I don't want to involve third party cos I obviously caused this, when she got pregnant, she didn't tell me till I saw the strip, when I asked why she said she forgot, and we had plans to celebrate when she takes in, I was sad that day, I begged and asked to tell me anything she wants and I'll do it, I'll make it up to her,,she said she wants nothing that she is fine, I love her, she is my baby, we use to be gist buddies, I missed that and I want it back.

I don't know what to do anymore, it's my fault I know that and I'm sorry I ever said that cos it hurt her deeply, I told her to tell me more evil things so that we will be even, she said she can't that she loves me, we are drifting apart, I can feel it,

Pls help me folks, I came here becos I want anonymous advise, what else can I do to make the hurt go away?

Op, ur wife is hurt and we all knw dat and if u re nt fast abt it she myt lose her sense of humor around u for a long tym...


This is wat i wil advise, call the person(s) u knw she respect alot, in front of everybody there knee down and apologize soberly, if possible let out some tears, cry as if u lost ur balls in front of everyone and i bet it with u, before u finish ranting she would hav raised u up bcus she would never expect dat from u.
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by pwansunriseteam: 11:31pm On Sep 14, 2019
Once a woman turns her back on you it is very hard to win her heart again. Keep doing your best almost involve a third party someone she respects so much. But OP you killed the human inside her with those insensitive vituperation.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Babayero212(m): 11:32pm On Sep 14, 2019
Register for this digital marketing training

Charles1888:
I had to create a new account for this

I don't know how to get through to my wife anymore, of which the fault is mine, when we were dating, she showed that she was committed to me and loved me wholeheartedly but I was reluctant to marry her cos she was of age, I wanted someone younger, say under 25, but something important that i have to acquire made me marry all of a sudden and she was the only one available, don't get me wrong, I loved her then, her peaceful and humble soul but for some reason I simply can't understand I felt she wasn't enough, but I was wrong, she was perfect, the best I can ever wish for and more, she is everything,

After we got married, you know newlyweds now, the quarrels about every little thing, it was much then, so this particular incident made me so worked up and angry I made a statement I shouldnt have said, during the heated argument I told her that she was never who I would have married, that she wasn't my specs, she was too old (31 lol) that if someone younger was available I wouldn't blink twice before I'll marry the person.

After saying all that, I wasn't sober about it, she held on to that statement, I knew she cried that night, since then we don't talk, play, gist anymore, we became distant, though I apologised the next morning but things isn't just the same anymore, communication isn't there, she only talks to me when she wants to ask or say necessary things, nothing more, though she still cooks, we still have sex, infact every other aspect is fine except for communication, anytime I come back from work and I'm in the sitting room, she doesn't stay there, she either goes to the room or dinning room, I have begged and begged and I don't want to involve third party cos I obviously caused this, when she got pregnant, she didn't tell me till I saw the strip, when I asked why she said she forgot, and we had plans to celebrate when she takes in, I was sad that day, I begged and asked to tell me anything she wants and I'll do it, I'll make it up to her,,she said she wants nothing that she is fine, I love her, she is my baby, we use to be gist buddies, I missed that and I want it back.

I don't know what to do anymore, it's my fault I know that and I'm sorry I ever said that cos it hurt her deeply, I told her to tell me more evil things so that we will be even, she said she can't that she loves me, we are drifting apart, I can feel it,

Pls help me folks, I came here becos I want anonymous advise, what else can I do to make the hurt go away?
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Crochet: 11:32pm On Sep 14, 2019
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Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by merit4: 11:32pm On Sep 14, 2019
deavicky:
Go out for one week without telling ur where about when she sees u again the whole thing will change

Don't try it. She will just draw her conclusion that u have finally seen a younger woman and he slept in her house for a whole week. This will kill her trust for u forever. Once trust is killed, love will fall sick too.

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Nobody: 11:33pm On Sep 14, 2019
Apologise to her and move on. Make her happy with gifts gists, etc. Even if she didn't appreciate it openly, deep down her heart, she would. Sooner than anticipated she'd forget all you've done to burt her. And next time, you mind your mouth too , lol. I got married to my wife when she was almost 30. I was almost 31 that time. I met her a virgin...sounds strange hun? Pray for God's intervention, ultimately.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Babayero212(m): 11:33pm On Sep 14, 2019
Register
pwansunriseteam:
Once a woman turns her back on you it is very hard to win her heart again. Keep doing your best almost involve a third party someone she respects so much. But OP you killed the human inside her with those insensitive vituperation.
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Carparts888(m): 11:34pm On Sep 14, 2019
IF YOU HAVE NO ADVICE KINDLY SHUT THE Bleep UP! U DON'T HAVE TO SHOW U HAVE A ROTTEN MOUTH!
usernamepass:
Bla bla bla..
Op shut da Vuck UP and hold your mount pim..
You are simply not man enough to discuss marrage talkless of getting married.
Real men dont talk too much..
I bet your mouth will leak again and you will repeat the same okpata yaRn again..
You have succeeded in keeling the woman in your wife and now that shes gone..
Bear your cross and dont you ever... I repeat dont you ever come on here to disturb our peace again.
Abi SA Xenophobia never do??
SHOOO
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Mariangeles(f): 11:36pm On Sep 14, 2019
Charles1888:
I had to create a new account for this

I don't know how to get through to my wife anymore, of which the fault is mine, when we were dating, she showed that she was committed to me and loved me wholeheartedly but I was reluctant to marry her cos she was of age, I wanted someone younger, say under 25, but something important that i have to acquire made me marry all of a sudden and she was the only one available, don't get me wrong, I loved her then, her peaceful and humble soul but for some reason I simply can't understand I felt she wasn't enough, but I was wrong, she was perfect, the best I can ever wish for and more, she is everything,

After we got married, you know newlyweds now, the quarrels about every little thing, it was much then, so this particular incident made me so worked up and angry I made a statement I shouldnt have said, during the heated argument I told her that she was never who I would have married, that she wasn't my specs, she was too old (31 lol) that if someone younger was available I wouldn't blink twice before I'll marry the person.

After saying all that, I wasn't sober about it, she held on to that statement, I knew she cried that night, since then we don't talk, play, gist anymore, we became distant, though I apologised the next morning but things isn't just the same anymore, communication isn't there, she only talks to me when she wants to ask or say necessary things, nothing more, though she still cooks, we still have sex, infact every other aspect is fine except for communication, anytime I come back from work and I'm in the sitting room, she doesn't stay there, she either goes to the room or dinning room, I have begged and begged and I don't want to involve third party cos I obviously caused this, when she got pregnant, she didn't tell me till I saw the strip, when I asked why she said she forgot, and we had plans to celebrate when she takes in, I was sad that day, I begged and asked to tell me anything she wants and I'll do it, I'll make it up to her,,she said she wants nothing that she is fine, I love her, she is my baby, we use to be gist buddies, I missed that and I want it back.

I don't know what to do anymore, it's my fault I know that and I'm sorry I ever said that cos it hurt her deeply, I told her to tell me more evil things so that we will be even, she said she can't that she loves me, we are drifting apart, I can feel it,

Pls help me folks, I came here becos I want anonymous advise, what else can I do to make the hurt go away?
To tell you the truth, that old love died the day you said that to her .
You'll have to make her fall in love with you again!

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by ziziangel(m): 11:36pm On Sep 14, 2019
Outta the abundance of the heart, the mouth yarns! Find a well-groomed professional counselor and share with...but remember one thing- She aint gonna forget that line of weighty words you threw at her face in her entire life, even prayer cannot erase it from her heart

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by abuolak: 11:36pm On Sep 14, 2019
just be happy that she didn't denied you of her responsibility which actually shows that she loves you but heartbroken.
my advice is that you should exponentially practically increase the rate you love her.
what I mean is that probably you should be assisting or help her do some house chores activities off which you haven't been doing before, please don't be tired of pleading as well, do things she loves most, makes jokes with her, surprise her in many ways u think of...... just try and be consistent with this for a week showing remorse.
then after all this, if she still feel recalcitrant, then throw this qeustion to her, "will your death be enough with your wrong doing"
NOTE: please make sure u play smartness so as to make her voice out her anger, then u can beg her and settle the issue

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Nobody: 11:36pm On Sep 14, 2019
usernamepass:
Bla bla bla..
Op shut da Vuck UP and hold your mount pim..
You are simply not man enough to discuss marrage talkless of getting married.
Real men dont talk too much..
I bet your mouth will leak again and you will repeat the same okpata yaRn again..
You have succeeded in keeling the woman in your wife and now that shes gone..
Bear your cross and dont you ever... I repeat dont you ever come on here to disturb our peace again.
Abi SA Xenophobia never do??
SHOOO
village people never leave since 20yrs ago.
and i tell u say mk u go bath for river niger around 12am in the night..
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by NLban: 11:37pm On Sep 14, 2019
omotola224:
A woman loves unconditionally but when you cross boundaries she can decide to unlove you with the same energy.
Men can often be insensitive through their actions but when you say it to their face then it's a confirmation of what you have been thinking. Never get to this point with a woman who genuinely loves you. That being said
You have to keep trying...
When she leaves you alone in the sitting room go and meet her. Gist with her.
Take her out on dates
Surprise her
You have to do things like you are just asking her out all over again.
Over one of your dates tell her you are sorry and would love to be the love of her life once again. Pls let it show that you are truly remorseful.

She will forgive you only you might have to reassure her over and over again.

Note: watch what you say henceforth .

Goodluck!

You are a beautiful woman

Congratulations.
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Mcy56(f): 11:38pm On Sep 14, 2019
Wow! This is deep! embarassed
@Op you've killed the woman's confidence, self esteem and self worth. Coming from her best friend to make matters worst.
Anyway, time heals all wounds, be praying for her and show her much affection. I hope she heals.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Nobody: 11:40pm On Sep 14, 2019
Is your wife older than you??

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