MYDEBBY:



I planned taking my little girl of 4yrs to her grandmother to look after her.if I live her with that evil woman,she may influence her negatively and use her to siphon money from me.

Why do you see her as evil? Because things are not working out between you two?
Relationships break down , most often due to lack of communication. Becasue yours has broken down doesn't mean you have to deprive a child of its mother. You haven't said anything negative about her parenting skills, so I'm wondering why you think your daughter will be raised better by her grandmother. Unless you want to use it as a means of control and punishment on the mother. That just shows the type of person you are if that's the motive.
I hope you know you cannot forcefully take your child from her mother to dump at her grandmother. If anything at all, work out an arrangement that will work for both of you.

MYDEBBY:



I planned taking my little girl of 4yrs to her grandmother to look after her.if I live her with that evil woman,she may influence her negatively and use her to siphon money from me.

If you follow through with this you will be the evil one. There is no reason why a child should be raised by a relative when both parents are alive and kicking. You are not even interested in raising you own child, yet you claim her mum, who is raising her, is evil. You need to take a good look at yourself and realize that you are a parent and it is your responsibility to raise your child!

In your current arrangement, how actively involved are you in raising her? how often does she come to live with you at your place? Do you take her on weekends? How many weekends a month? How involved are you in your child’s life?

If you are being a father to your child it will be difficult for someone to siphon money off you because you would already know what your child needs. Even the grandmother can still use your child to siphon money off you, the only way to avoid this is to be an active parent.

yeyeosoronga:


Nobody owes you loyalty dear. It's earned and should be deserving. Once you understand that, life would be a walk in the park.

Not in marriage. Misused theology. Shift

MYDEBBY:



I planned taking my little girl of 4yrs to her grandmother to look after her.if I live her with that evil woman,she may influence her negatively and use her to siphon money from me.

Not a bad idea although the "evil woman" part got to me. But you didn't answer two of my questions: 1) Will your fiancee let go of your daughter without a fight? 2) How old is the little girl?

Don't force her to marry you Biko. She is done with you. There are other fishes in the sea now

healthserve:




Not in marriage. Misused theology. Shift

I understand you absolutely love the concept of marriage, but it is not the solution to your many problems. Start solving some of
your problems by first working on your attitude.

MYDEBBY:
Dear Nairalander I greet you all.Pls I need candid advice,I have dated my wife for over six years with an issue,and now that we have done traditional rites and about to climax with white wedding she is giving flimsy excuses that she is no longer interested in me.She is currently in final year and has drastically changed in her dressing and attitude towards due to influence of friends in school. Often I do report incidences of her recent poor dressing to her parents after cautioning her she will channel the grievances to me.The recent one made her so angry that she started recanting all my past mistakes which she and her family are aware of and have resolved since now using it as an excuse against me that she is no longer interested. She kept mute for over two weeks due to anger yet I still transferred money twice to her but up till now she did not acknowledged it,only for her to send text that she need money for our daughters school fees.I then decide to visit them off campus where they stay yesterday with lots of provision yet she could not say a common thank you.While I was still making peace with her asking her to forgive me for whatever wrong I have done to her by reporting her to her parents,promising not to do so again,a guy knocked the door,and she went out after the guy I asked a relation who was there who was the guy and he said he is my wife's friend,I quickly followed them on citing me the guy diverted after their discussion about me.when we then entered the house I asked her who was the guy and she said that's not my business. I kept quiet.after a while I called her parents to tell them the situation of things that their daughter said she is no longer interested they now asked us to come down to the village to see them this coming weekend.I know things are not alright somewhere and as such I need straight forward advice on what to do.pls no insult just help out.Thanks

bros you have an opportunity to marry a brand new girl and leave your girlfriend to whoever is interested in marrying second hand. You should be very happy for another opportunity to have you a new loyal girl.

Tumbulum:
bros you have an opportunity to marry a brand new girl and leave your girlfriend to whoever is interested in marrying second hand. You should be very happy for another opportunity to have you a new loyal girl.

Thumbs up men.

yeyeosoronga:

I understand you absolutely love the concept of marriage, but it is not the solution to your many problems. Start solving some of
your problems by first working on your attitude.

Of course my personal conscience. What a fool. Keep your theocracies out of my mentions please. Your existence is inconsequential to me.

healthserve:



Of course my personal conscience. What a fool. Keep your theocracies out of my mentions please. Your existence is inconsequential to me.

I understand you are from a lineage of imbeciles. You this waste of space, a useless mass of compressed flesh. Be gone with your stupidity. Dirty pig

yeyeosoronga:

I understand you absolutely love the concept of marriage, but it is not the solution to your many problems. Start solving some of
your problems by first working on your attitude.

Lol

Tumbulum:
bros you have an opportunity to marry a brand new girl and leave your girlfriend to whoever is interested in marrying second hand. You should be very happy for another opportunity to have you a new loyal girl.

And what makes you think the same mistakes will not be made again?

If the op is bent on freshly pressed the whole cycle may repeat.

Life can be SO unfair, sometimes I just wish there's a way to see into the future before making that decision of getting married!

Ineedyouradvise:
Life can be SO unfair, sometimes I just wish there's a way to see into the future before making that decision of getting married!

I assure you all who have contributed immensely in advising me to ball up as a man,that after the meeting with her parents I shall update you all.

U be pure water nylon?




Wait first......




Now that I read it




OP, Let her go.......



If she comes back again, REPEAT!

Shebi na you marry her?
Shebi na you decide foot the bills?

Communicate with her, something is missing. If she persist in an odd lifestyle, let her go. Unless you are ready to die.

Next time, don't marry a student or to-be-student. Most of them don't have common sense.

Marry a lady who wants to be a wife and a mother.

You might just need a new girl. Life goes on.

That new guy is bursting her head that's the reason she is dumping you.

Dont marry kids....i repeat, guyz quit marrying kids

Bros u need 3 things
Viagra
Tramadol and
Chilled beer

Ladies and material things are like 5&6...

Must you call her parents to report everything. Man you need to grow up.... Only babies report every little issues.

You will soon find out that the daughter you're training is not even yours.

MYDEBBY:
Dear Nairalanders, I greet you all.

Pls I need candid advice, I have dated my wife for over six years without an issue and now that we have done traditional rites and about to climax with white wedding she is giving flimsy excuses that she is no longer interested in me.

She is currently in final year and has drastically changed in her dressing and attitude towards due to influence of friends in school.

Often I do report incidences of her recent poor dressing to her parents after cautioning her she will channel the grievances to me.

The recent one made her so angry that she started recanting all my past mistakes which she and her family are aware of and have resolved since now using it as an excuse against me that she is no longer interested.

She kept mute for over two weeks due to anger yet I still transferred money twice to her but up till now she did not acknowledged it, only for her to send text that she need money for our daughters school fees. I then decide to visit them off campus where they stay yesterday with lots of provision yet she could not say a common thank you.

While I was still making peace with her asking her to forgive me for whatever wrong I have done to her by reporting her to her PARENTS, promising not to do so again, a guy knocked the door and she went out after the guy I asked a relation who was there who was the guy and he said he is my wife's friend, I quickly followed them on citing me the guy diverted after their discussion about me.

When we then entered the house I asked her who was the guy and she said that's not my business. I kept quiet.

After a while I called her parents to tell them the situation of things that their daughter said she is no longer interested they now asked us to come down to the village to see them this coming weekend.

I know things are not alright somewhere and as such I need straight forward advice on what to do.

Pls no insult just help out.

Thanks

I don't know what you have done to her in the past. But from the look of things you are the one in love...don't try to convince a woman whose mind is in another man...you will be wasting your time. Go and dissolve the marriage , work out plan on how to takecare of your child ....move on. That lady will give you high bp and you will die before your time. Channel your love to your child pls forget her and start looking for a woman that truly love you. As soon as your child is 18 go for him or her...God will give you a true wife

Whatever behavior a woman exhibits towards you as a man, you're the cause.

Read this: https://www.nairaland.com/5309552/men-stupid-women-ingrates-must

Bow down and leave oga. Never come back. Don't allow anyone institute this marriage again cos it must fail n then it maybe too late. Never you force a wife into your life, the ones that came in peace 're hard to retain e come be the one you wan force enter marriage ... in fact God has done the best thing for you bro.

islandmoon:
tell her sweet stories, impregnate her and run

lwkmh... You're mad

elektra:


If you follow through with this you will be the evil one. There is no reason why a child should be raised by a relative when both parents are alive and kicking. You are not even interested in raising you own child, yet you claim her mum, who is raising her, is evil. You need to take a good look at yourself and realize that you are a parent and it is your responsibility to raise your child!

In your current arrangement, how actively involved are you in raising her? how often does she come to live with you at your place? Do you take her on weekends? How many weekends a month? How involved are you in your child’s life?

If you are being a father to your child it will be difficult for someone to siphon money off you because you would already know what your child needs. Even the grandmother can still use your child to siphon money off you, the only way to avoid this is to be an active parent.

Sorry you made a few good points in the beginning but some of your other points are just plain wrong! Everyone knows that the parent with the most custody of the child has the most influence on the child. A father's primary responsibility is survival, making sure they have shelter, food and other basic ammenities. If in the path of providing these things he's forced to work 80 to 100 hours per week, he's forced to do some hustle on the side. Tell me how would he have time to be soap opera dad you clearly stated above? Before calling someone a bad parent, let's try to understand their circumstance, especially in Nigeria where the lack of money is more shameful than being an alcoholic. If attention without money equaled being a great parent then deadbeat dads would always have hope

olabrinks:
She is not interested in the marriage, and if you marry her by force you will be entering a life time of misery and a constant battle to prove yourself to her. Better get out now before it’s too late. It’s that simple.

I don’t know why men are always fighting for women that don’t want them. They’re millions of single available women go and look for them and leave this small girl alone.

come and take a warm hug

You finally given up in life. The moment you think of getting married

Down the line, she will regret her actions today. Bad influence as a result of wayward friends and someone crewing her V would make her think she is the new Cardi B in town.

Karma is a beautiful reward for heartless and wicked soul like hers.

I feel your pain bro. To satisfy a woman is really difficult. This is why it's advisable working class men should marry ladies within their caucus and vice versa.

I dont think you are okay! my opinion though.