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Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Should I Continue This Relationship Or Just End It.. Matured Advice Only / Ladies Your First Visit And You Saw Him Like This Will You Continue Or Quit? / Should I Marry Her Or Quit? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by Bbbwings: 7:33pm On Oct 30, 2019
912:
Dude you are not mature enough for marriage.

So the reason why her dad left her mum will determine if she is someone you can marry? Just listen to yourself.

Why do you want her to open old family wounds?

If that girl has any brain in her head she should runaway from you and your family that seem to have holier than thou character.

So because she doesn't know why her dad left her mum she has turned into someone you can't be with?

She should be the one running from a judgemental family like yours.
I feel like giving op e-slap

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by Tapout(m): 7:33pm On Oct 30, 2019
MrCork:



..^^^^story

....bro I beg...if u don't wanto smash....Let me smash!!(No ofeense) wink

yo which cage did they release u from..thought u had deactivated
Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by Realhommie(m): 7:34pm On Oct 30, 2019
liberalchick:
lol I don’t think you’re ready to get married. The girl has told you the reason but you refuse to believe her, which is on you. What were you expecting to hear? That her mother cheated? Or that the father saw a black pot under his bed, so he kicked her mother out?

She was a toddler when they separated and she can only tell you what the adults in her life told her. If you are going to hold her responsible for something she had no control over, please leave her abeg.
I accede to everything you've said. So on point, especially the bolded..

1 Like

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by Kingininge(m): 7:34pm On Oct 30, 2019
LilMissFavvy:
You do not love her, simple.

Love alone cannot sustain marriage.Simple!

1 Like

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by Nobody: 7:34pm On Oct 30, 2019
Let me respond like a typical Nigerian niralander will do, did you ask for our consent first here in Nairaland before asking her out so why bother us with your issues with her? That's the typical Nairaland problem solving way.

Back to the issue you raised.

Your concerns are very valid and you deserve the answers you seek for because it means a lot to you which is why you asked in the first place.

You alone can determine if her responses constitutes a red flag for you since you are the only one that knows her and you are the one currently dating her and you are the only one that sees her mannerisms and you alone knows by what you have seen from her if you guys are compatible and if she will be a good fit for you as a wife.

Back to typical Nairaland mode

Someone earlier on advice you to go and smoke some weeds and then come back and answer your own questions and I agree with him only on the part that says you should answer your own question because you are the only one that knows her and should be in a better position to know if she is a wife material irrespective of her being from a broken home after all you ain't proposing to her mother but to her that has never been married to anyone before.

Wishing you the very best.

5 Likes

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by kelvindj98: 7:35pm On Oct 30, 2019
Which kind mumu be dis. Na by force. Free d babe if you no do again.

2 Likes

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by LilMissFavvy(f): 7:37pm On Oct 30, 2019
Yes of course, but love is the most important.
Kingininge:


Love alone cannot sustain marriage.Simple!

1 Like

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by Bahddo(m): 7:37pm On Oct 30, 2019
How do you immature people even even convince yourselves that you are ready for marriage? You can't even look at issues objectively and reach an independent decision.

So if you marry a lady whose parents aren't separated, it guarantees that your own marriage wouldn't end in divorce?

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by midnighter(f): 7:38pm On Oct 30, 2019
emmysoftyou:
what's there to discussed about failed relationship that didn't works well.
Bro , in an igboland , investigation and enquiries is very necessary to both parents of the couple, when my wife wanted to marry me, she asked all necessary questions including if I am OSU ? I laughed out loud cos I know I am not OSU. The family of my wife traveled to my village to do a background checkup..
Anyway, it's necessary cos a lot had happened.
Op should do a background checkup but have it in mind that sometimes history does not repeat itself..

Yes, it's very important to investigate very well so that you won't be in for any nasty surprises after the wedding.

But that doesn't mean you have to be insensitive about it. Or you haven't seen an elder get offended by certain questions before? They will get irritated, especially if such a thing is coming from a young person

It's not her fault if her mother avoids answering her so he should still giver her some time because it's not as easy as "just go and ask her".

It's even worse to open up the past of an elderly person because the emotions can be much when they look back and remember

1 Like

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by Kingdollar28(m): 7:39pm On Oct 30, 2019
frankyskyboi:
Thanks for your opinions.. I'm sorry I can't move ahead with such relationship until I know my woman and where she's coming from in totality. We may underrate this but it's very vital especially in my family. I can't take a one sided story and even if she pops up an answer tomorrow, I'll still do my background investigation. Before presenting her to my parents, they'll ask her same questions I'm asking her so to save the headache, it's better she does the needful.


You are very weak....


Until u realize that you are already a grown ass man....and you have a say of your own, and whenever you say something,you stand on it, then you start thinking about marriage!!

U re too weak for marriage now bro..

#bitter_truth!

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by bongo4real(m): 7:39pm On Oct 30, 2019
frankyskyboi:
I started a relationship with a lady in March this year and it's been going on well though she works in Lagos while I'm in the eastern part of the country.

When we were at the introductory part of the relationship, I asked about her family and she told me they are separated. I asked what's the reason for the separation and she said its due to irreconcilable differences and they separated when she was a toddler that it's her dad that raised her up tho she keeps contact occasionally with her mum.

She stays with her aunts in Lagos. I asked if she asked both parents to know why and she said she only asked her dad and he said he doesn't want her mum to be working class and she insisted to be One that he wants her to be a stay at home wife. I asked if she heard from her mum and she said no. She also said her aunts said same thing her dad said.

The reason really didn't go down well with me as it's too flimsy and I've told her to ask her mum and she keeps procrastinating or giving one excuse or the other. It beats my imagination how a grown up adult can't know with conviction why her parents separated or I guess the truth is being hidden.

I'm bringing this up here because my brother married from a separated home and it was war before my parents gave consent. If she can't give me concrete reason why the parents broke up which I'll present before my parents, I really don't know how the relationship can move forward because we detest divorce in our family.

Please I need your advice if I should continue or quit.

Bro why bothering her about her family issues? We pray for change and good in Life, no reasonable person will want to make same mistakes their parents made.

Honestly I don't really know the real reason why my dad didn't marry my mom and I haven't seen her for 22 years now and don't know how to trace her.

My advice, if she is a good girl as you said in your write-up then don't bother her much with her parents issue, don't remind her of her past because you want to get answers for your parents. Be mature enough to handle issue yourself without without thinking what your parents will say.

4 Likes

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by maya007: 7:42pm On Oct 30, 2019
U destest a broken home? Ha! D nerve! So cause ur parents r still togeda now makes dem d most perfect plp on earth? My dear if ur a product of both parents den I tink being raised by a single mom or dad is d best....ur a very naive person biko I wish I had d girls number or somtin so ild beg her to dump ur ass...if she was from a broken home with otedola or dangote as parents u n ur parents no go judge am na abg gerarahere mehn....n dont spoil my mood this night o

14 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by TGM2015: 7:42pm On Oct 30, 2019
frankyskyboi:
Thanks for your opinions.. I'm sorry I can't move ahead with such relationship until I know my woman and where she's coming from in totality. We may underrate this but it's very vital especially in my family. I can't take a one sided story and even if she pops up an answer tomorrow, I'll still do my background investigation. Before presenting her to my parents, they'll ask her same questions I'm asking her so to save the headache, it's better she does the needful.
If I am a friend to that lady, I will advise her to run from you because you never trust her word. She has taken a good step asking reason for her parents separation, she knows her father and trusted him. Her father words was collaborated with some else, who possibly she trusted. Are you telling me that her father and aunt are liars? ,And that she is too stupid to have accepted the "unreasonable reasons" (because that is what you are implying) excuse given by her father?

Do you know her mother more than her? She has her reasons for limiting her visit to her mother and decided not to speak with or ask her mother about what causes their separation.

Hey guy, we have seen couple divorce because the wife didn't know how to press toothpaste. I have had encountered with a friend that did not married a lady because the lady own an opinion never to be full housewife. Though his current wife is working, his reason then was, what if in the near future, there arise a situation for her to resign from her work to pay closer attention or care to their children or relatives? That was just the period where a DGM in one of the leading banks, resign from work to attend to and take care of her children. We heard she visited her children school one day because they have a meeting very close to the school and the meeting was delayed for 2 hours. When met her 3 children absent and was told that they are regular absentees. She voluntarily resigned.

Please, allow this lady to find a man that can trust her word, accept and judge her for who she is. At least, it was from a black pot that white pap/"agidi" is made.

11 Likes

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by Chapelbeatz(m): 7:42pm On Oct 30, 2019
Hehe.We want posts like this on fp atleast make we dy laff.Buh i suggest u hihihahahohehahahaha.No reason am

2 Likes

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by Realhommie(m): 7:43pm On Oct 30, 2019
mistijude:
All I see in you is pride.Even those whose parents are together,are some of them totally free from marital challenge.It is better you tell her to go on time,so that someone else will marry her.
Seconded.

4 Likes

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by Newboss(m): 7:44pm On Oct 30, 2019
Why not also ask her if her mother has ever sucked her dad's dick?

That girl should dump your sorry ass ASAP! What nonsense

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by Nobody: 7:44pm On Oct 30, 2019
Op, what exactly is your business with her parents separation? Are you getting married to her or her parents?

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by Kingininge(m): 7:45pm On Oct 30, 2019
spiritedtete:
No child of my will marry from a separated home no way!

(Widows and widoers excluded)

I am sorry i don't mean to throw stones to the innocent single parents ...

And my appology to the morally upright children of a single parent..

It is just what it is for me... I have lived far enough to know my left from my right....

To Op... on the flip side...... If female child grew with the dad... i think you are well secured...


But if a female child grew up with the mum... oboy you as the husband will be a suspect for life.. and hopefully she won't be quick to rob it on you that she is an independent woman.

On point!
I once had a gf brought up by her mum because her mum left her dad and remarried another man.her mum also left the second husband after three children and lived alone with her children.
I observed that whenever i ask her a question like....if we are married i become broke or we have a misunderstanding, what will she do? Her answer was always.....that she will just pack out and go and live alone with her kids. that she cant take nonsense from any man.she said this afterall her mum did it and succeeded.....
Her anthem was always that she will pack out of her husbands house......always quick to mention pack out thereby following in her mum's footsteps




Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by Realhommie(m): 7:45pm On Oct 30, 2019
Op while i understand your point, I do not think you have any issues worth worrying about. But it is very obvious to me that you're not yet ready for marriage.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by VicM6: 7:45pm On Oct 30, 2019
Pubichairs:
it isn't by force ..so let de girl be, if u can't handle wot she already told u...



move on with ur life, make person rest
i tire 4 dis matter o, na another person family the guy wan investigate when him own family problem dey ground also.... He is telling the poor girl to find out why her parents separated as if he has ever sit the girl down and tell her abt his own family too......

All what i know is that Family problem mostly comes up from the husband part....

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by bayobabe(f): 7:46pm On Oct 30, 2019
Bahddo:
How do you immature people even even convince yourselves that you are ready for marriage? You can't even look at issues objectively and reach an independent decision.

So if you marry a lady whose parents aren't separated, it guarantees that your own marriage wouldn't end in divorce?
I just wonder ooo. Mr Op, if that girl is good and because you can't think for yourself lose her, you might end up with one that you would by yourself hand her a divorce letter and mind you the parents would be together. My Mum was told by her father's family that she wouldn't last in her marriage because she is from a seperated family and she was very troublesome, naa there she give herself brain and became determined that whenever she married,she would make sure it worked. She still dey my papa house ooo, and she is a grandma now. So do guesswork and calculate the number of years she had been married.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by Bahddo(m): 7:46pm On Oct 30, 2019
frankyskyboi:
Thanks for your opinions.. I'm sorry I can't move ahead with such relationship until I know my woman and where she's coming from in totality. We may underrate this but it's very vital especially in my family. I can't take a one sided story and even if she pops up an answer tomorrow, I'll still do my background investigation. Before presenting her to my parents, they'll ask her same questions I'm asking her so to save the headache, it's better she does the needful.
wise choice. Just let her go. She likely deserves better than getting into a judgemental family that would make her marital life hell, while her indecisive husband watches on helplessly.

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by rahztafari(m): 7:47pm On Oct 30, 2019
This is why some people will turn 50 and remain single all because you are looking for someone that fits your description.

@op, if you have reached marriageable age, you don't need anyone to tell you that life doesn't work that way.

Anyways, since you still believe that there are plenty fishes in the river, I will suggest that you find yourself another opeke. I hope the next one does not have any comma ooo

5 Likes

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by Oduduwa707: 7:47pm On Oct 30, 2019
RedCreme21:
It doesnt mean history would repeat itself. The issue might be personal for her (i was raise by my mum alone. Although she's a widow, i hate talking about my past, too many bitter memories). Might be the same with her. Or its as she said. If she's a good girl, dont hesitate to marry her. All that 'children raised by single parents are bad' rubbish aint true. Infact we grow up with more determination not to make the same mistakes as our parents. Thats why we excel wink

Very true... cool

1 Like

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by Babygal2020(f): 7:47pm On Oct 30, 2019
Freemanbobble:
Stop being an investigative journalist in that poor girls life

Lol

1 Like

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by Duggedised12(f): 7:49pm On Oct 30, 2019
So let me get this ,not being from a broken home guarantees the marriage won't end in divorce ? Things we see on nairaland. You and your parents need to get down from your high horse. Any small misunderstanding now in the marriage your parents will start saying "i told you that is how people from broken homes behave" . undecided

Kuku end the relationship abeg. Make sure you ask the next lady if her parents are together before you waste her time.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by abdullkabar(m): 7:49pm On Oct 30, 2019
Make a decision and live with it's outcome
Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by Nobody: 7:50pm On Oct 30, 2019
The kind of things that matters to people sha! Only in Nigeria, a man is more interested in the moonlight stories about how your parents became single than what you're bringing to the table.

My country man would LEAVE a working class lady that's got her shit together, can pay her bills, BUT comes from a broken home FOR a jobless, can't pay her bills, got nothing to add to the relationship BUT got her parent still together!

How this sh!tty bullcrap criteria determines a successful marriage baffles me.

Una go soon learn!.
Backward bunch!!!!

11 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by Newboss(m): 7:51pm On Oct 30, 2019
adaperry25:
one can't love and be blind at the same time. I think he's been logical. It's ideal to do all necessary inquiry before tying the knot

He's not being logical. Her parents are divorced, and so what? People are always looking for something to gossip about. Her parents deserve some privacy. Some things should never be your business.

Tying the knot indeed. No be only knot

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by Nobody: 7:52pm On Oct 30, 2019
Ask her mother what?

Amebo.

Why should she go through the agony of finding that out when she has her whole life ahead of her to live?


You and your family want to sit down and discuss something that happened years ago and start scrutinizing her. Is the divorce her fault? Who are you to judge? Na her family you dey marry?

Left to me, its mostly males from broken homes that have issues not the females. Yet, you see the males getting hitched while the females have to face all these bullsh1t scrutiny.

If you are forming all prim and proper, commot for road with your odour make the poor girl see her front and smell fresh air.

13 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by Nobody: 7:54pm On Oct 30, 2019
frankyskyboi:
I started a relationship with a lady in March this year and it's been going on well though she works in Lagos while I'm in the eastern part of the country.

When we were at the introductory part of the relationship, I asked about her family and she told me they are separated. I asked what's the reason for the separation and she said its due to irreconcilable differences and they separated when she was a toddler that it's her dad that raised her up tho she keeps contact occasionally with her mum.

She stays with her aunts in Lagos. I asked if she asked both parents to know why and she said she only asked her dad and he said he doesn't want her mum to be working class and she insisted to be One that he wants her to be a stay at home wife. I asked if she heard from her mum and she said no. She also said her aunts said same thing her dad said.

The reason really didn't go down well with me as it's too flimsy and I've told her to ask her mum and she keeps procrastinating or giving one excuse or the other. It beats my imagination how a grown up adult can't know with conviction why her parents separated or I guess the truth is being hidden.

I'm bringing this up here because my brother married from a separated home and it was war before my parents gave consent. If she can't give me concrete reason why the parents broke up which I'll present before my parents, I really don't know how the relationship can move forward because we detest divorce in our family.

Please I need your advice if I should continue or quit.

are u insinuating that the reason why her dad and mum separated will also make you and her separate in the future?

Oga, you better let her be... you no serious at all

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? by Nobody: 7:55pm On Oct 30, 2019
Newboss:


He's not being logical. Her parents are divorced, and so what? People are always looking for something to gossip about. Her parents deserve some privacy. Some things should never be your business.

Tying the knot indeed. No be only knot

no mind the OP

you better let the poor girl be

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