frankyskyboi:
I started a relationship with a lady in March this year and it's been going on well though she works in Lagos while I'm in the eastern part of the country.

When we were at the introductory part of the relationship, I asked about her family and she told me they are separated. I asked what's the reason for the separation and she said its due to irreconcilable differences and they separated when she was a toddler that it's her dad that raised her up tho she keeps contact occasionally with her mum.

She stays with her aunts in Lagos. I asked if she asked both parents to know why and she said she only asked her dad and he said he doesn't want her mum to be working class and she insisted to be One that he wants her to be a stay at home wife. I asked if she heard from her mum and she said no. She also said her aunts said same thing her dad said.

The reason really didn't go down well with me as it's too flimsy and I've told her to ask her mum and she keeps procrastinating or giving one excuse or the other. It beats my imagination how a grown up adult can't know with conviction why her parents separated or I guess the truth is being hidden.

I'm bringing this up here because my brother married from a separated home and it was war before my parents gave consent. If she can't give me concrete reason why the parents broke up which I'll present before my parents, I really don't know how the relationship can move forward because we detest divorce in our family.

Please I need your advice if I should continue or quit.

You are just paranoid for nothing

What if she was a child if rape ❓
Pls concentrate on your relationship if you live her to take bullet for her

Even those from complete homes still get separated in their new marriage

You can go behind her and do district investigations into her family home in her village

I ate people coming here to seek for advice on issues they can easily decide on their own. Op if your mind is not comfortable to continue with the girl because of the story of her parents not being together, please take a walk. As for me nothing is gonna come between me and dominique, if mynd44 and Ishilove like make dem continue to dey ban me.

In Salawa Abeni's voice " i love my dominique, my dominique loves me, no circumstances can change my opinion."

you want to marry the lady for goodness sake. you have no business whatsoever with d marital status of her parents. since her father brought her up, go and see the blessed man and do your thingy

Rule no 1; Never marry or go into a serious relationship with someone who is reluctant in explaining things to you or hides things from you when you ask or really wants to know. You will regret it it if you go ahead and marry them because some many things will be revealed later that will break your heart and trust. Break up with her now dude, so that you won't come here to ask for help or advise again on something else.

Lol

Korllami007:


This is a simple sturv. All you have to do is invite the girl's father and her mother to your house or for a dinner so that they can both tell you the two sides of the story.

that is moving beyond his boundaries

just because you want to marry you have to sit the mother and father down to know why they separated ?

who are you?
how much you get?
waiting they bring that kind yeye play come na?

you better respect yourself.... an in-law cannot do that let alone ordinary boyfriend like you

frankyskyboi:

I'm bringing this up here because my brother married from a separated home and it was war before my parents gave consent. If she can't give me concrete reason why the parents broke up which I'll present before my parents, I really don't know how the relationship can move forward because we detest divorce in our family.

Please I need your advice if I should continue or quit.

I advise that you shouldn't marry for the next 10 years until you grow up.
An adult who can't take his own decision isn't really an adult. Your parent
will neither marry nor live with the same girl.

If your parents will continue to be in charge of your life decisions,
break up with her immediately and don't waste the time of the innocent
lady who doesn't know your plans for her.

History always remember us for two things, one d problem yu create and two d problem yu solve. This lady may divorce him if he marry her because history av already figure it out. Think twice before yu do introduction with her.

Get the phuck out of here oga, overgrown baby....my parent this my parent that. Make them find wife for you na. Shior

maya007:
U destest a broken home? Ha! D nerve! So cause ur parents r still togeda now makes dem d most perfect plp on earth? My dear if ur a product of both parents den I tink being raised by a single mom or dad is d best....ur a very naive person biko I wish I had d girls number or somtin so ild beg her to dump ur ass...if she was from a broken home with with otedola or dangote as parents u n ur parents no go judge am na abg gerarahere mehn....n dont spoil my mood this night o

lol. I like the way nairalanders fight for some people they don't know sometimes abeg don't allow your mood to be spoilt. Lol.

frankyskyboi:
I started a relationship with a lady in March this year and it's been going on well though she works in Lagos while I'm in the eastern part of the country.

When we were at the introductory part of the relationship, I asked about her family and she told me they are separated. I asked what's the reason for the separation and she said its due to irreconcilable differences and they separated when she was a toddler that it's her dad that raised her up tho she keeps contact occasionally with her mum.

She stays with her aunts in Lagos. I asked if she asked both parents to know why and she said she only asked her dad and he said he doesn't want her mum to be working class and she insisted to be One that he wants her to be a stay at home wife. I asked if she heard from her mum and she said no. She also said her aunts said same thing her dad said.

The reason really didn't go down well with me as it's too flimsy and I've told her to ask her mum and she keeps procrastinating or giving one excuse or the other. It beats my imagination how a grown up adult can't know with conviction why her parents separated or I guess the truth is being hidden.

I'm bringing this up here because my brother married from a separated home and it was war before my parents gave consent. If she can't give me concrete reason why the parents broke up which I'll present before my parents, I really don't know how the relationship can move forward because we detest divorce in our family.

Please I need your advice if I should continue or quit.

Why are u stressing yourself with this matter. If ur family hates divorce...then avoid anything that can bring one close to the family. Never start a fire u can't quench. U can't justify divorce
matter whether she left or he left,my brother u are too young to know who is at fault.

Just avoid the impending trouble.

Korllami007:


This is a simple sturv. All you have to do is invite the girl's father and her mother to your house or for a dinner so that they can both tell you the two sides of the story.

Hahahaha...abi o...since he wants situation report what better way to get it than setting up a board meeting

RedCreme21:
It doesnt mean history would repeat itself. The issue might be personal for her (i was raise by my mum alone. Although she's a widow, i hate talking about my past, too many bitter memories). Might be the same with her. Or its as she said. If she's a good girl, dont hesitate to marry her. All that 'children raised by single parents are bad' rubbish aint true. Infact we grow up with more determination not to make the same mistakes as our parents. Thats why we excel

you are so correct though I was raised by both of my parents

You see it? OP stopped responding because he realized no one here was condoning his behavior.

benzene00:
Go and smoke weed



then come back and answer that question by yourself

hahahaha chai! why you like weed sef?

frankyskyboi:
Thanks for your opinions.. I'm sorry I can't move ahead with such relationship until I know my woman and where she's coming from in totality. We may underrate this but it's very vital especially in my family. I can't take a one sided story and even if she pops up an answer tomorrow, I'll still do my background investigation. Before presenting her to my parents, they'll ask her same questions I'm asking her so to save the headache, it's better she does the needful.

Then get the phuck out of here and stop disturbing us with your bullshiit...and stop wasting the girl's time.



If you're the lady and you're on Nairaland, dude lives in Sango Ota, and he's into sport betting(red flag). You'll probably regret settling down with this kind of human, so better talk to your leg.

I pity this guy. You don't know what marriage means. There is no amount of 'DSS or EFCC investigating that you will do that will reveal all about her family. Otherwise, you go investigate you go tire. Even after marriage, you go still dey investigate. My advice, if she is really who you want to spend the rest of your life with, better over look her faults and move on.

frankyskyboi:
Thanks for your opinions.. I'm sorry I can't move ahead with such relationship until I know my woman and where she's coming from in totality. We may underrate this but it's very vital especially in my family. I can't take a one sided story and even if she pops up an answer tomorrow, I'll still do my background investigation. Before presenting her to my parents, they'll ask her same questions I'm asking her so to save the headache, it's better she does the needful.

On a serious note, u are kid and u dont even know what some ladies encounter. I knew of a university first class holder, a lady for that matter was asked by her husband not to work. They marriage almost crashed until family members intervene. I knew of another lady friend and a master degree holder who isn't working. Her reason was that her man wanted her to be a full time housewife.

midnighter:


Yes, it's very important to investigate very well so that you won't be in for any nasty surprises after the wedding.

But that doesn't mean you have to be insensitive about it. Or you haven't seen an elder get offended by certain questions before? They will get irritated, especially if such a thing is coming from a young person

It's not her fault if her mother avoids answering her so he should still giver her some time because it's not as easy as "just go and ask her".

It's even worse to open up the past of an elderly person because the emotions can be much when they look back and remember

my brother, you have a point,but if the parents are igbos , they should understand the important of the questions if they really want their daughter to get married.
You don't know how Igbo people behaves whenever you want to settled down with your spouse ..
Bro , I know what I saw when I wanted to settled down..
Bro, if you're married or you're an Igbo, u will understand what me..
Sometimes, they will frustrate the couple to the extent of abandoning the traditional marriage but the parents will advised you to calm down cos all will be well.

Separations and divorces are certainly never caused by virtues but negative attributes by both or one party(ies). No one likes to wash the dirty linen in public especially to a prospective spouse. If you know now, you may quit Expect the worst going into the marriage. If she cannot trust you with her past now, she may never do forever. Although history tends to repeat itself, it is not always so. So, it is your call really.
Quote author=frankyskyboi post=83599131]I started a relationship with a lady in March this year and it's been going on well though she works in Lagos while I'm in the eastern part of the country.

When we were at the introductory part of the relationship, I asked about her family and she told me they are separated. I asked what's the reason for the separation and she said its due to irreconcilable differences and they separated when she was a toddler that it's her dad that raised her up tho she keeps contact occasionally with her mum.

She stays with her aunts in Lagos. I asked if she asked both parents to know why and she said she only asked her dad and he said he doesn't want her mum to be working class and she insisted to be One that he wants her to be a stay at home wife. I asked if she heard from her mum and she said no. She also said her aunts said same thing her dad said.

The reason really didn't go down well with me as it's too flimsy and I've told her to ask her mum and she keeps procrastinating or giving one excuse or the other. It beats my imagination how a grown up adult can't know with conviction why her parents separated or I guess the truth is being hidden.

I'm bringing this up here because my brother married from a separated home and it was war before my parents gave consent. If she can't give me concrete reason why the parents broke up which I'll present before my parents, I really don't know how the relationship can move forward because we detest divorce in our family.

Please I need your advice if I should continue or quit.
[/quote]

frankyskyboi:
I started a relationship with a lady in March this year and it's been going on well though she works in Lagos while I'm in the eastern part of the country.

When we were at the introductory part of the relationship, I asked about her family and she told me they are separated. I asked what's the reason for the separation and she said its due to irreconcilable differences and they separated when she was a toddler that it's her dad that raised her up tho she keeps contact occasionally with her mum.

She stays with her aunts in Lagos. I asked if she asked both parents to know why and she said she only asked her dad and he said he doesn't want her mum to be working class and she insisted to be One that he wants her to be a stay at home wife. I asked if she heard from her mum and she said no. She also said her aunts said same thing her dad said.

The reason really didn't go down well with me as it's too flimsy and I've told her to ask her mum and she keeps procrastinating or giving one excuse or the other. It beats my imagination how a grown up adult can't know with conviction why her parents separated or I guess the truth is being hidden.

I'm bringing this up here because my brother married from a separated home and it was war before my parents gave consent. If she can't give me concrete reason why the parents broke up which I'll present before my parents, I really don't know how the relationship can move forward because we detest divorce in our family.

Please I need your advice if I should continue or quit.

You really love this gal in question or you just want to get married to her?

emmysoftyou:
my brother, you have a point,but if the parents are igbos , they should understand the important of the questions if they really want their daughter to get married.
You don't know how Igbo people behaves whenever you want to settled down with your spouse ..
Bro , I know what I saw when I wanted to settled down..
Bro, if you're married or you're an Igbo, u will understand what me..
Sometimes, they will frustrate the couple to the extent of abandoning the traditional marriage but the parents will advised you to calm down cos all will be well.

I understand you and I am Igbo myself but no need mentioning tribe right now because this situation can apply to anybody and its not like anybody's parent would like them to marry a problem.

It's difficult for people to open up about some certain things, he should just give her a chance if really he likes her.

Some people are ashamed or embarrassed about the past, Some peoples parents are selfish and won't like them to succeed where they have failed. Some people are just unreasonable and won't like to help you even if you are their daughter. If they get angry at all the girls questions and chase her and stop talking to her for like 3 months, then what?

Or you think everybody is normal just because they gave birth to a child? He should keep investigating but take it easy on her, it's not her fault

frankyskyboi:
I started a relationship with a lady in March this year and it's been going on well though she works in Lagos while I'm in the eastern part of the country.

When we were at the introductory part of the relationship, I asked about her family and she told me they are separated. I asked what's the reason for the separation and she said its due to irreconcilable differences and they separated when she was a toddler that it's her dad that raised her up tho she keeps contact occasionally with her mum.

She stays with her aunts in Lagos. I asked if she asked both parents to know why and she said she only asked her dad and he said he doesn't want her mum to be working class and she insisted to be One that he wants her to be a stay at home wife. I asked if she heard from her mum and she said no. She also said her aunts said same thing her dad said.

The reason really didn't go down well with me as it's too flimsy and I've told her to ask her mum and she keeps procrastinating or giving one excuse or the other. It beats my imagination how a grown up adult can't know with conviction why her parents separated or I guess the truth is being hidden.

I'm bringing this up here because my brother married from a separated home and it was war before my parents gave consent. If she can't give me concrete reason why the parents broke up which I'll present before my parents, I really don't know how the relationship can move forward because we detest divorce in our family.

Please I need your advice if I should continue or quit.

You are lucky because she grew up with her dad if I get that right. Most girls from such home, if raise by mother only rarely turn out right. I also didn't see where you stated her flaws... like she is mannerless, hot tempered, arrogant, self centered and all other ills that plague most Nigerian girls... so I do not feel you should worry your head much about this bro.

AryaSand:


Yen, Yen, Yen, Yen, Yen. Jargons!
FYI, children from broken homes makes the best spouses because they never want to put their kids through what they went through. They put in Double Extra effort to make their Marriage WORK!

This is golden

Hammedsodiq:
History always remember us for two things, one d problem yu create and two d problem yu solve. This lady may divorce him if he marry her because history av already figure it out. Think twice before yu do introduction with her.

You made a very sensible comment here sir. One problem about nairalanders is that, they are always one way traffic, once someone, especially first comment condemn or commend something, they will all follow the same line.

What moral upbringing do you expect from someone whose parents has separated since she was a child. What moral lessons has she learnt from her parents as one united family?

@op. no one is absolutely perfect in this life, not even you i guess. Sometimes, we might be innocent but falls victims of circumstance. So, if she has giving her life to Christ or you see a genuine determination in her that she dont pray to follow the path of her parents, please give her a chance to prove herself.

RedCreme21:
It doesnt mean history would repeat itself. The issue might be personal for her (i was raise by my mum alone. Although she's a widow, i hate talking about my past, too many bitter memories). Might be the same with her. Or its as she said. If she's a good girl, dont hesitate to marry her. All that 'children raised by single parents are bad' rubbish aint true. Infact we grow up with more determination not to make the same mistakes as our parents. Thats why we excel

Good point brother, but I think something is fishy about the separation of her parents. My ex came from a separated home, she never wanted her mom's kind of life, but what could we say of a lady who is not contented with a guy? I could count up to 5 guys she'd slept it within 4years. Even she dated a married man but I had to back out of the relationship cos it seems the Whorish life style runs in their family. (She'll even tell me how he met the person, but I couldn't imagine a lady rubbing and playing with your deeeek saying you raped her after like 3 rounds of sex).

AWON OMO OWU TI IYA GBON LOMO YOO RAN.

All of a sudden everyone will turn DR. Phil and start giving advice they won't even take themselves smh.

frankyskyboi:
I started a relationship with a lady in March this year and it's been going on well though she works in Lagos while I'm in the eastern part of the country.

When we were at the introductory part of the relationship, I asked about her family and she told me they are separated. I asked what's the reason for the separation and she said its due to irreconcilable differences and they separated when she was a toddler that it's her dad that raised her up tho she keeps contact occasionally with her mum.

She stays with her aunts in Lagos. I asked if she asked both parents to know why and she said she only asked her dad and he said he doesn't want her mum to be working class and she insisted to be One that he wants her to be a stay at home wife. I asked if she heard from her mum and she said no. She also said her aunts said same thing her dad said.

The reason really didn't go down well with me as it's too flimsy and I've told her to ask her mum and she keeps procrastinating or giving one excuse or the other. It beats my imagination how a grown up adult can't know with conviction why her parents separated or I guess the truth is being hidden.

I'm bringing this up here because my brother married from a separated home and it was war before my parents gave consent. If she can't give me concrete reason why the parents broke up which I'll present before my parents, I really don't know how the relationship can move forward because we detest divorce in our family.

Please I need your advice if I should continue or quit.

It's absolutely no business of yours or your parents to know why her parents are divorced. You're marrying her and not her parents, and I don't think they need you as judge on what's a tenable excuse to divorce or not. I sense a lot of judgemental issues with you, I believe if the girl knows the extent of your judmental character & family interference in people's matters, she has more reasons to worry and flee than you do.

"You detest divorce in your family" get off your high horse mister

frankyskyboi:
Thanks for your opinions.. I'm sorry I can't move ahead with such relationship until I know my woman and where she's coming from in totality. We may underrate this but it's very vital especially in my family. I can't take a one sided story and even if she pops up an answer tomorrow, I'll still do my background investigation. Before presenting her to my parents, they'll ask her same questions I'm asking her so to save the headache, it's better she does the needful.

idiot leave the innocent girl alone since you're stubborn, I swear if it's me I'll slap your teeth out asking me such questions, do you know the pain these people pass through bringing those memories back and you want to bring back more

frankyskyboi:
I started a relationship with a lady in March this year and it's been going on well though she works in Lagos while I'm in the eastern part of the country.

When we were at the introductory part of the relationship, I asked about her family and she told me they are separated. I asked what's the reason for the separation and she said its due to irreconcilable differences and they separated when she was a toddler that it's her dad that raised her up tho she keeps contact occasionally with her mum.

She stays with her aunts in Lagos. I asked if she asked both parents to know why and she said she only asked her dad and he said he doesn't want her mum to be working class and she insisted to be One that he wants her to be a stay at home wife. I asked if she heard from her mum and she said no. She also said her aunts said same thing her dad said.

The reason really didn't go down well with me as it's too flimsy and I've told her to ask her mum and she keeps procrastinating or giving one excuse or the other. It beats my imagination how a grown up adult can't know with conviction why her parents separated or I guess the truth is being hidden.

I'm bringing this up here because my brother married from a separated home and it was war before my parents gave consent. If she can't give me concrete reason why the parents broke up which I'll present before my parents, I really don't know how the relationship can move forward because we detest divorce in our family.

Please I need your advice if I should continue or quit.

you are not serious or ready for a relationship.

my advice, end it now so that she can find someone serious.

frankyskyboi:
I started a relationship with a lady in March this year and it's been going on well though she works in Lagos while I'm in the eastern part of the country.

When we were at the introductory part of the relationship, I asked about her family and she told me they are separated. I asked what's the reason for the separation and she said its due to irreconcilable differences and they separated when she was a toddler that it's her dad that raised her up tho she keeps contact occasionally with her mum.

She stays with her aunts in Lagos. I asked if she asked both parents to know why and she said she only asked her dad and he said he doesn't want her mum to be working class and she insisted to be One that he wants her to be a stay at home wife. I asked if she heard from her mum and she said no. She also said her aunts said same thing her dad said.

The reason really didn't go down well with me as it's too flimsy and I've told her to ask her mum and she keeps procrastinating or giving one excuse or the other. It beats my imagination how a grown up adult can't know with conviction why her parents separated or I guess the truth is being hidden.

I'm bringing this up here because my brother married from a separated home and it was war before my parents gave consent. If she can't give me concrete reason why the parents broke up which I'll present before my parents, I really don't know how the relationship can move forward because we detest divorce in our family.

Please I need your advice if I should continue or quit.

Very simple matter get her mum's address and go visit her to know the real truth..