₦airaland Forum

igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks

WriterX:
lollz haha seriously I be dey reason say na pregnancy trap lol the guy wan use too but I doubt it just a bit.

lolz I just don't see why suspending the white wedding is the obvious right call for him to make

nasoeb:
Hanty, this your last sentence show sey your own virgin don scatter day tey. Your name don comot for virgin list since like 25years ago. Na dam na you carry for leg na.

Drkeo:
She's hiding something from you....

Drkeo:
She's hiding something from you....

marvin905:
let me understand something you don't support traditional marriage that's your way..
buh you support white wedding that isn't your own..
if am wrong tell me cause a nigga is confused

farady:
From the Christian perspective, the rites are not yet complete. That is why we have the solemnisation of Holy matrimony performed in the church; where both of them are supposed to stand before God (with the bed undefiled, even though they may not be virgins, but born again christains who haven't had sex in the course of their relationship) to take the marriage vows.

Here the pastor or priest will ask the bride's father or whoever is standing for the father if the groom has fulfilled the family rites (what we call traditional wedding).

So I'm sure that's her mindset and this was made known to the OP.

Nnemuka:
You are very stup1d
Look for your jamb mated and exchange this type of gist with.
So many of u were raised by 1diots.

igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks

midnighter:
But you're still going to marry her in the church so what actually is the problem?

Somebody told you something ahead of time, you say you did not take her serious. now the thing is coming to pass and you're complaining. Nawa

Church wedding is important to some people because of the spiritual implications, why did you go ahead with a born-again if you can't even respect a basic decision like this

And on top of it you put the wedding on hold so you can force her to compromise on her principles Wow

Shouldn't you be happy that you married somebody who actually stands on their word and does as they say? Is this not a good quality to look for in a spouse?

Nnemuka:
You are very stup1d
Look for your jamb mated and exchange this type of gist with.
So many of u were raised by 1diots.

igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks

obidark:
dont insult us,because we dont understand whats going on today either....
we are men....we cant think like women....

ctleurocollege:
Proverbs 3:6 'Remember the Lord in everything you do, he will show you the right way'

NoToPile:
Not that read and understand my post.

2 major points

1.He already had an agreement with her that they wont consumate the marriage till after the church wedding. HE AGREED.

2. If you are going to go through two or three marriage types, try and finish all before you consumate. Trad wedding alone plus registry plus a pastor blessing you is okay but if you still want a full service of solemnization of holy matrimony then I believe you should wait, what are you now solemnizing after the marriage has been consumated. I feel its a sort of deception and jamboree, I didnt have a church wedding personally beacuse we didnt want to but if we did we would have waited till after the church wedding. My 2nd point is talking as a christain. This is why I dont support long time between trad and church Wedding, do the trad and do a small solemnization weeks apart. It avoids all this mess. I am talking based on the assumption that the couple to be are celibate but as it seems everyone is having sex before marriage nowadays( which I know is not true) well it seems irrelevant.
2nd point is my personal opinion as a christain.


Either way the OP should keep to his agreement.

igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks

stinflame:
I tell you...No woman can stand the man they truely love...

Those they truely love melt them down to ice even just your voice,reset their brain and make them act so in love.

Op she simply no gbadu you.

obidark:
am i lying....??
i nyansh any woman on the first date....
when you agree to know me,why shouldnt we nyansh....!!??

i dont force any of them....never tried....

marvin905:
[s]
now I know you're confused..
how does that relate to white wedding[/s]..

marvin905:
please show me where in the Bible that says white wedding is the real wedding..
you do know that white wedding is also a traditional wedding to White's ..
do you still know we have different races and culture's so if Asians Indians africans don't conform to another race way of life
then they are not right In the sight of God

WriterX:
listen man like I said I got no issue to resolve or try and make a point out of my opinion for you , if it works for you am sure it's okay and fine they're saying one man's food is Another's poison so we all good bruh.

NoToPile:
Not that read and understand my post.

2 major points

1.He already had an agreement with her that they wont consumate the marriage till after the church wedding. HE AGREED.

2. If you are going to go through two or three marriage types, try and finish all before you consumate. Trad wedding alone plus registry plus a pastor blessing you is okay but if you still want a full service of solemnization of holy matrimony then I believe you should wait, what are you now solemnizing after the marriage has been consumated. I feel its a sort of deception and jamboree, I didnt have a church wedding personally beacuse we didnt want to but if we did we would have waited till after the church wedding. My 2nd point is talking as a christain. This is why I dont support long time between trad and church Wedding, do the trad and do a small solemnization weeks apart. It avoids all this mess. I am talking based on the assumption that the couple to be are celibate but as it seems everyone is having sex before marriage nowadays( which I know is not true) well it seems irrelevant.
2nd point is my personal opinion as a christain.


Either way the OP should keep to his agreement.

WriterX:
listen may I ask if you are a Christian just play with me o. this one and answer my question what I may tell you next depends on your answer, let's talk, I like your views