I see 2 things here.
1. Op, if your wife had told you she is a born again Christian and would wait till "after" her white wedding to make love with you and you "accepted" it so. Then you shouldn't complain because that is what you've signed up for, so she has a point against you there.
2. A born again Christian shoild also realise that what the Bible recognise is even a traditional marriage. And having done that means befire God and man, you guys are husband and wife. And if that be so, you have every right to how body. Meaning that you also have a point against her here.
Now the question is what drives you to wanting this seex from her now? Is it because you are so very Hot and cant wait or you are beginning to have doubt her virginity?
If it's doubt, then you can still have her maintain her stand of seex after white wedding and you can still be assured she is a virgin or not by hoing for a virginity test.
So you can clear your doubt and respect her wish at the same time.

So you want the guy to shift her pant, i go tell her mother that you said the guy should shift her daughter pant.

scaramucci:
So instead of you to fast track the wedding to the next available Saturday in order to get to shift her pant you decided to put it on hold, right?

GoddonBishop:
Looking at it critically, traditional marriage is not recognised internationally as legal and bidding. To this end therefore you are not yet married bro.

point of correction it is after the traditional marriage go to a registry sign the cert your finished..
and they are married in the eyes of GoD and man..
let me ask you do you think hindu marriage is recognized

This is a very simple things to do, Op u have been waiting for the past 1yr 6months now, am sure your wedding will come up in less than 3months, i think it worthy waiting, however u said she'd said it before you both commence the relationship. Talk to her pastor and fix the date for the white wedding asap and start your enjoyment. I did my traditional in October and white wedding in March the following year yet no sex until wedding night as agreed by both of us. Don't let pple mislead you, u'll thank God for given her to you at the end cus women that love God are priceless virtues... Best of luck.

I understand the point the lady is making, in my house, the greatest gift u can give to my parents is walking down the aisle a virgin, that's why most people tend to do both the white nd traditional wedding same day... Op, exercise a little patience

midnighter:
But you're still going to marry her in the church so what actually is the problem?

Somebody told you something ahead of time, you say you did not take her serious. now the thing is coming to pass and you're complaining. Nawa

Church wedding is important to some people because of the spiritual implications, why did you go ahead with a born-again if you can't even respect a basic decision like this

And on top of it you put the wedding on hold so you can force her to compromise on her principles Wow

Shouldn't you be happy that you married somebody who actually stands on their word and does as they say? Is this not a good quality to look for in a spouse?

My thoughts exactly..you knew from the beginning and agreed to it so why the fuss now..if you waited for 1yr 6months what's the big deal in waiting for the white wedding. As long as she is also faithful on her own part then you should also wait.marriage is not sweet always..what if you get married and she becomes sick to the point she can't have sex that means you will just go outside and get laid regularly. If you cant make sacrifices then my brother marriage isn't for you.

igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me to make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks

Don't put the wedding on hold, please. Think of these:
1. Remember you agreed not to have sex until the night of your wedding. Be a man of your word. Your wife will also trust you if you can hold. But why do really want to have sex before marriage?
2. If she is truly a born again Christian, please respect her own opinion. Sex before marriage is not it at all. You can hardly find such woman nowadays. Remember i say if she is truly a born again. hope you are also born again?
3. You should be a man that can control your emotion. Please work on it.
4. No matter the issue discuss with her and you people should agree. It is called marriage and not slavery. Even when you are married she still retain her right as human being.
5. If you know you cannot cope with her in the same house. Let her find somewhere to stay. maybe your church member, family members, female friend. Please don't follow some of the advice you have here. Only those who have a shoe on, knows how it pinches.

obidark:


no man has a right over a womans body....its their property....its either they give it wilfuly or you have no rights....

very true, imagine the self imposed right op has given to himself , this is how some husbands rape their wives without knowing, because you have done the traditional rites her body has now automatically turned your property like damn and you say you love her?
where is the respect for each other and all that love crap the Op posted about.

men, some people though.

Yuneehk:
That's a disciplined and stubborn woman you've got. You had an agreement before the relationship even started and said she's a born again christian who appreciates the things of God. Finish what you started by wedding her in the church if that's what she wants and enjoy her as you'd want to. Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well.

deceiving yourself

Ruthe:
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-

uhmm....

eve,please....i know wan argue with you....

i always loose against women....
i dont bother no more....

cheers....

Conji is a bad thing.
It doesn't matter whether she's a Virgin or not. She made it clear to you much earlier.
I would advice to make her "swear" to you that she's a Virgin. Since she keeps to her words . make tell the consequences of her lying and that you'd also keep to your word if you discover that she lied to you.
You stayed 18months and conji didn't kill you. Just be patient.

igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks

WriterX:



calm down lollz, calm down.

No he needs to know with this mentality he can't manage a marriage for the long haul. He knows his lady better and if she's a good sorry very good lady he should understand her position than let doubts and fears brought about by misconstrued opinions of/from people get sowed into their marriage. Its sickening man asking for counsel on such petty matter.

midnighter:
But you're still going to marry her in the church so what actually is the problem?

Somebody told you something ahead of time, you say you did not take her serious. now the thing is coming to pass and you're complaining. Nawa

Church wedding is important to some people because of the spiritual implications, why did you go ahead with a born-again if you can't even respect a basic decision like this

And on top of it you put the wedding on hold so you can force her to compromise on her principles Wow

Shouldn't you be happy that you married somebody who actually stands on their word and does as they say? Is this not a good quality to look for in a spouse?

Words of wisdom

If I ever find myself in that kind of situation and it turns out she's not a virgin after the so called church wedding, I swear to God I'm divorcing her immediately and she must return all my bride price.

And even if she's a virgin, the first words I will tell her after deflowering her is "Now that the hymen is broken, let me see what you have to offer me in this marriage"

Nonsense

obidark:


no man has a right over a womans body....its their property....its either they give it wilfuly or you have no rights....

obidark:


no man has a right over a womans body....its their property....its either they give it wilfuly or you have no rights....

very true, imagine the self imposed right op has given to himself , this is how some husbands rape their wives without knowing, because you have done the traditional rites her body has now automatically turned your property like damn and you say you love her?
where is the respect for each other and all that love crap the Op posted about.

men, some people though.

Bro its means na she go dey control u now,if i were u never have that sex again till she cry and beg u.when she is not a Virginia,yeye.

A woman who's still dictating when to have sex or not after traditional wedding no be wife o

gone are those days of no sex b4 marriage. the most painful part is that you have paid her brideprice. lets just hope tat she is a virgin because if she isnot, that wud b a tragic thng. and if she is a virgin perhaps, i pray you dont have a boring sex life. i wish you all d best

kunleweb:



No he needs to know with this mentality he can't manage a marriage for the long haul. He knows his lady better and if she's a good sorry very good lady he should understand her position than let doubts and fears brought about by misconstrued opinions of/from people get sowed into their marriage. Its sickening man asking for counsel on such petty matter.

he is a stvpid man....why come on social media to ask for advice....??
cant he just talk with her....??

Traditional wedding is the only wedding rem documented in the Holy Bible.
Any other wedding is man made.

You've already done ur wedding, so have ur wife

If you can't taste what you are paying for too nothing is moving forward, after traditional wedding my brother you are scammed

Akseph:

Don't put the wedding on hold, please. Think of these:
1. Remember you agreed not to have sex until the night of your wedding. Be a man of your word. Your wife will also trust you if you can hold. But why do really want to have sex before marriage?
2. If she is truly a born again Christian, please respect her own opinion. Sex before marriage is not it at all. You can hardly find such woman nowadays. Remember i say if she is truly a born again. hope you are also born again?
3. You should be a man that can control your emotion. Please work on it.
4. No matter the issue discuss with her and you people should agree. It is called marriage and not slavery. Even when you are married she still retain her right as human being.
5. If you know you cannot cope with her in the same house. Let her find somewhere to stay. maybe your church member, family members, female friend. Please don't follow some of the advice you have here. Only those who have a shoe on, knows how it pinches.

to be real I am just irritated by how the op is going about it but I am not angry at him, I am a guy and we'll I know I can't be in such awkward position shall but I think your advice would serve him alot.

I believe after traditional wedding both partners should have the been married already mentality cos parents would believe they have hand over their daughter with so much cries....why now getting to the husband house and still standing on rules. To me the man has fulfilled his part of agreement cos even the parents can't hear this and support cos they won't believe the man when they will already be counting months for grandkid.....only God knows the end of this problem if it turns out to be a problem.I hope she never told you she is still a virgin cos that could complicate everything if after it's d opposite cos there are some ladies who would have been in d world and then repent and make a vow not to indulge in such action again so if she never told you she was a virgin you have to be patient if after all she turns out not to be one after the white wedding cos that could be the end of the wedding.

skylegend:
I can smell is trap ..

do you see her pussy with your own eyes?

if not

then how do you know she is a virgin.

almost all girls I come in content with, told me at some point that they are virgin

after doing you see another different picture

but in your case there is very big different

even after traditional wedding she no want give you (she knows you are her husband)

if you push with the church wedding without having sex with her .you are the biggest fool I have ever seen in my life

because she know if you discover she is not a virgin before the church wedding you will drop her old ass ..

wake up ..

before God and men you and her are husband and wife

if she still still refuses you sex ..end the relationship.go back to her parent to give you back your bride price.

before things get out of hands

I've seen men that abandoned a lady after having sex on traditional marriage.

Op, fast track the wedding, marry her.
All these people saying she's hiding something are just bunch of promiscuous men.

Minjim:
Traditional wedding is the only wedding rem documented in the Holy Bible.
Any other wedding is man made.

You've already done ur wedding, so have ur wife

he no wan comsumate....
he is askin for advice how to comsumate his own wife....

nawa....

igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks

Some of you act like boys. This girl told you everything before you started. You even claimed you respect each other's opinions but with what you are saying here that is a lie on your part. It is not as if she is not your wife but there is something about agreement. If it was only tm you guys agreed on, your pastor would have prayed for you that same day after the tm and you go and do your thing. Tm since 15th July what are you waiting for before you do the wedding? Even though we have not heard from the girl, I can still say she is more righteous than you.

obidark:


he is a stvpid man....why come on social media to ask for advice....??
cant he just talk with her....??

The thing dey pain me. Other ladies seeing this thread now go dey say na so men dey think, that's why ladies are turning harder by the day on men cause of stvpid ones

kunleweb:



The thing dey pain me. Other ladies seeing this thread now go dey say na so men dey think, that's why ladies are turning harder by the day on men cause of stvpid ones

nawa....

Is traditional wedding not wedding or because it's traditional in front of the wedding and not church?

WriterX:



to be real I am just irritated by how the op is going about it but I am not angry at him, I am a guy and we'll I know I can't be in such awkward position shall but I think your advice would serve him alot.

mumu men ;
yall deserve the kind of ladies you get
I bet you heard virgin, and u rushed her and probably single handedly provided everything she needs as a man.

see naa, coochie you no come get
Truth is, she's a spiritual person and a born again
fix your wedding, if after wedding, what is served is not what u ordered.for then u can complain.

For now, finish what u started
You agreed to no sex, so keep it like that.

This is how you will lose a good woman because of your dicck. What's stopping you from doing the White wedding if you're a true Christian?

edunaragold:
Bro its means na she go dey control u now,if i were u never have that sex again till she cry and beg u.when she is not a Virginia,yeye.

well-done prophet habacock