₦airaland Forum

stinflame:
I tell you...No woman can stand the man they truely love...

Those they truely love melt them down to ice even just your voice,reset their brain and make them act so in love.

Op she simply no gbadu you.

i tell you....i woman that loves you will not wait....

a woman that truely loves you will wilfuly spread her legs like junction....
believe you me that....
you dont even need to ask her sef....

ibietela2:
All these over religious people.... Agent of God

Sorry that you cannot understand

ctleurocollege:
Go for check up, your understanding of things is questionable

is God a confusionist
ideology like this are the reason most guys are in debt..
and this is the reason I stay clear from religious fanatics like you..
show me where in the Bible God recognized
white wedding ..
am starting to believe africans are fvcked up in the head.
this is why I love Asians

I wish we can be more sensitize on issues that are this fragile. I will like to let you know that it is a good standard and biblical incline to wait until after wedding before sex, this here is not to force who don't want to wait till then, God will be the judge,but in this case the wedding has been done, the truth is the highest and recognizable wedding in the bible is that you meet the parent officially and ask for their daughters hand in marriage, if they agree, the bible ask you to pay the bride price and other rites and that settles it. The problem now is that we have been brain wash and make it moral obligation that white wedding is the only acceptable wedding, No it is not. please dear friend don't be ignorant, traditional wedding is the first acceptable wedding in the word of God. feel free to make a constructive argument on this write-up

Drkeo:
She's hiding something from you....

Maybe she ain't a virgin.....

salt1:
Thanks so much! I blame the girl for accepting to marry someone who doesn't share her godly principles. I guess she was desperate to answer Mrs.
See him exposing her and her value system to ridicule.
I hope this is a fake story. But if it's real, she will learn a bitter lesson on how not to be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever.
My spouse and I chose to honour God by waiting until after we have stood before God, said our vows before God and man, and received the blessings of family, friends and the elders of the Church. We have a very happy home.

Brotherly, I tire for the guy. God help that girl.

Omohorba:
I wish we can be more sensitize on issues that are this fragile. I will like to let you know that it is a good standard and biblical incline to wait until after wedding before sex, this here is not to force who don't want to wait till then, God will be the judge,but in this case the wedding has been done, the truth is the highest and recognizable wedding in the bible is that you meet the parent officially and ask for their daughters hand in marriage, if they agree, the bible ask you to pay the bride price and other rites and that settles it. The problem now is that we have been brain wash and make it moral obligation that white wedding is the only acceptable wedding, No it is not. please dear friend don't be ignorant, traditional wedding is the first acceptable wedding in the word of God. feel free to make a constructive argument on this write-up

sensitize about what....??

She doesn't have anything to hide.
Serious virgins take their oaths seriously. She may have promises herself no sex before the wedding night. Wedding night is different from traditional night.
Calm down and wait.
Nawa o
I hope she hasn't made the mistake of marrying you sef

igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks

igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks

igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks

you are just such a lucky guy. people are praying for such like this and you are not getting it. if it is that you do not have money for wedding is a different thing all together but I will ask you to go ahead and fix the wedding God on your side you shall enjoy your marriage to the fullness. is well.

marvin905:
yes

thanks for indulging may I ask if you celebrate Christmas?

because if you do according to some Christian doctrines you are partaking in an occultic festival or something of that nature fact is Jesus wasn't born in December and there was a certain festival in honor of some deity and all that which to some sense have some proof

listen I am not much of a religious person even though I respect each and every religion the thing is Christianity has survived this far by adapting customs and traditions , yes a white wedding is a white man's thing as well as Christianity but we accepted it because it provided standards by which we felt were morally right and socially acceptable in the eyes of the world.

I get your point in my family, traditional wedding is the wedding too but that doesn't make the significance of the white wedding at less sort after.

much respect to you and your opinion.

marvin905:
is God a confusionist
ideology like this are the reason most guys are in debt..
and this is the reason I stay clear from religious fanatics like you..
show me where in the Bible God recognized
white wedding ..
am starting to believe africans are fvcked up in the head.
this is why I love Asians

they are fvcked up in the head....
its no secret no more....
they dont even understand how to nyansh their own women no more....

nawa....

GogobiriLalas:
Na dis kine girl I dey like, just very wise and logical. Well done I enjoyed ya advise

But It's True Nah,,, Why Starve The Guy Even After Paying Bride Price And Trad,, Haba,, This Is Wickedness Nah...
After Now Na Her Fit Complain Say The Guy Dey Chase Girls Outside Whereas She Made The Avenue For That.. Na Them Sabi Sha

id2019:
What's stopping you from fixing date for the white wedding. She told u all this before the relationship started.

though the man has entered one chance vehicle, that's his own problem for letting men down in the first place. but if am the stupid man now, i will not only put the wedding on hold, i will cancel it all, what nonsense! because of christianity some people are throwing away the value of our traditional rites as if they are not worth the same as modern wedding.

AtoningBlood:
God bless you.

I did just court n traditional. No church wedding because my parent n I attend different churches, their church won't wed me if I'm not their member and my parent won't attend my church for wedding so we did not even consider church.

We did court and a week later voom to the villa for traditional wedding. No need prolonging dates, let every thing be close to avoid stories.

My own Dad was a Staunch Anglican, I and mum pentecostal, spouse attends pentecostal too, my dad believes pentecostal churches are not true churches, when the back and forth was becoming too much we jejely went for our traditional and registry.

Dad now personally insisted we did the court in Lagos before the traditional to avoid stories that touch to get the legal aspect done and dusted we had 4 weeks interval between the registry and the trad in my home town, after the traditional we went to our house and had our thanksgiving the next day and our pastor blessed us.

I do not support long dates interval, where I come from if they dont do the trad and church wedding the same day maximum Thursday and Saturday or at most a week or two if theres distance involved.

Lot of my friends are now wisening up, they do their trad and have a very small solemnization just pastor parents them and their best man and chief brides maid, the vows are read and voila they are solemnized. Since the major reason why people seem to put long intervals between church and trad is money to have a big hall and party then it should be done small, its not even compulsory you have a reception.


It seems people do not understand the meaning of 'solemnization of holy matrimony' what is holy about the matrimony that is being solemnized with the bed defiled, we deceive ourselves a lot as christains sha.

igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks

Tactically impress it on her that you're not much interested in virginity or her past life. That you're now married and will turn a new leaf and live a happy, faithful and supportive life. Use any other narrative to convince her that you will accept jer even if she isn't virgin. This should allay her fears and she'll definately open the honey pot for you tonight. Thank me later

Lufthansa:
Why lie to him she is a virgin when not one. If he goes ahead with the wedding and later comes to find out the lady cajoled him. He has every right to opt-out of the marriage. Be sincere of your virginity status. If a man will marry you, he will irrespective of that. Why tell lies!

Besides, how sure you those you claimed became baby-mama after their wedding never once claimed same as the sis in question and only for the husbands to sex them and story changes. They begin stories like they lost their virginity to sport e.t.c

OP can go ahead but once he finds out it is a scam. I beg opt-out fast!!!!!!

to be sincere, I really don't see virginity as a standard for a good wife nor a happy or successful marriage , it's really nothing to me, virginity like my mom told me is just a gift amongst many other you share with the one you chose to be with.

igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks

What you have here is two conflicting perception, you are of the perception that after the bride price is paid you are married, your wife is of the perception that marriage is the church wedding. Perception is governed by teaching and believe neither of you is right or wrong, you were both taught the same thing with two different methods, one of you will have to come down from your high horse.

I will suggest you fast track your wedding date or better still go to church for church blessing if you don't intend to do the church wedding. As much as possible don't force her, else you will violate her conscience and believe and she will detest you for that. In all fairness to her, she gave you her requirement for sex, but you didn't take it seriously, you didn't have the sex for more than a year and you didn't die waiting for the main wedding won't kill you.

marvin905:
I agree with you on the fact that an agreement was made and it should be adhere to..
buh listen the white wedding most of Y'all are saying is compulsory is a traditional marriage for whites that was passed down to US as colonies not that it is recognized by God if it is please show me where in the Bible .God is not one that creates confusion..
he created different races and different cultures and in each of these races and cultures all have different marriage rite's and none is better than the other as far as the family agrees on your Union and the bride price is paid your married it's we blacks that seems to be overzelous and ignorant..
you can do a traditional wedding without doing White buh you can't do white without doing traditional no church will wed you

But they had an agreement

And since they plan to have a church wedding then he should just wait abi isnt the OP a christain?

She told you ahead of time, why didn't you take her serious? Besides were you planning to conduct a church wedding right after the traditional wedding or was it just a traditional wedding only?
If you planned on having a church wedding, why then are you insisting on having sex? You stated it that she's religious, you know her more than anyone here, so why didn't you guys settle everything before time?

witworth:
though the man has entered one chance vehicle, that's his own problem for letting men down in the first place. but if am the stupid man now, i will not only put the wedding on hold, i will cancel it all, what nonsense! because of christianity some people are throwing away the value of our traditional rites as if they are not worth the same as modern wedding.

modern wedding....
since when your dickk need modern wedding....??

traditionaly the parents of the woman has to agree....you are joining 2 different families toghether....!!

why are you people cursin yourselves with senseless bullshitt....??

You are married already having fulfilled all the traditional rights. What was the response of the pastor and her parents? They are meant to guide her in situation like this.

scaramucci:
So instead of you to fast track the wedding to the next available Saturday in order to get to shift her pant you decided to put it on hold, right?

dont mind him jare. Just because of how many mins/hours pleasure. The tin wey go still tired you

Eliz24:
You are married already having fulfilled all the traditional rights. What was the response of the pastor and her parents? They are meant to guide her in situation like this.

tell am....
i dont even need traditional rights to marry a woman....

am not even that deep into that stuffs,but am still married....!!

if at the end of day she's not a virgin, i see heavy regrets for the couple, one for been deceived that long and that much, the other one for being a deceiver.
for the record the man is a 1st class fool, and he deserve an award for best looseguardian.

SirBrightoc:
Sorry dear, but I think the lady made a mistake by believing you to be a man of honour, which you have now proved not to be.

1. You had an agreement early enough in the relationship. Now you think that since you have boxed her to a tight conner by paying her bride price, you can change the terms at will. From your post, this was actually your initial plan. It shows that you lack honour and cannot be trusted.

2. A marriage relationship that is just beginning, you have reported this minor issue to her parents and pastor? Wow! You have no respect for her. You are not matured enough for marriage. You obviously can't handle a family, unless you change now.

3. That she agreed to go with you to your house after the traditional marriage shows she trusted you for all the things you said to her. Unfortunately, she is wrong. You are the opposite of what you say. Imagine you lying to her in your initial agreement that you will wait until after CHURCH marriage. Didn't you know that you weren't willing to do so? Didn't you deliberately plan to deceive her? You have no respect for yourself.

4. You are coming to a faceless forum like Nairaland with such a sensitive issue to seek counsel from people, most of who know nothing about marriage. You are insulting yourself and wife.

5. Imagine you talking of subjecting her to a virginity test. That's inhumane and a sign that you are not trustworthy. You think everyone is like you? You think all girls out there are the same and like the ones you have been defiling?

What exactly do you want to achieve by FORCING and BLACKMAILING her against your earlier stance now? If you find out that she's not a virgin, will be quit the relationship? If she's a virgin and not experienced in lovemaking so that she fails to satisfy you in bed, will you quit? What exactly do you want to achieve? Or you lack self control?

She's the one that needs someone to advise her to quickly run from you. Both of you are not on the same page of principles. You don't deserve such a godly lady.

My marriage is seven years now and I can tell you, I have been enjoying the best of marriages. None of us has complained about the other to ANYBODY. We waited until after CHURCH marriage before sex. That trust we built has been keeping us.

God bless you.

witworth:
if at the end of day she's not a virgin, i see heavy regrets for the couple, one for been deceived that long and that much, the other one for being a deceiver.
for the record the man is a 1st class fool, and he deserve an award for best looseguardian.

he is a fool....he was not capable to make her fall in love in him....

If she can tell you this NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE she can aswell deny you sex even after the white wedding. Becareful man we have seen this more often here on nairaland. she is willing to hold u captive with sex. Let me advise you avoid that woman. Remember after the wedding she can go to court or her parents telling them that my husband demands of sex too much. by that time you will run to nairaland opening another thread of how your wife is denying you sex. Marriage needs to be be enjoyed even sexually to the fullest. is good 4 u to make your own mistake than another person making it 4 u. ignore those people saying u should respect her will. follow your good heart. it is good to be late than to be late.

Being born again is a daily ritual. You have to renew your mind daily. Not many people can do this for long. Even spiritual leaders. Hence don't be carried away when a person says he or she is born again. People live up to the expectation of the public/others and what you see is not always correct.

Just wait oga don't blame the woman because you have no idea what the pussy was passing through, if the pussy tell you a story you will sympathize and weep uncontrollable.

but you nigerians have to be careful of this virgin stuff....

we live in an age were almos all females get raped....even in a very early age....!!
i say if it happenend against her consent,then you have to still accept her as a virgin....

my own 2kobo....

it is not about being virgin or not but about her mindset. @Op, women like these would listen more to doctrine and one man of God than reasoning or their husbands. White wedding is just show body. Marriage begins when the father of the bride hands over his daughter to the groom. That is what the bible say (recall the scene when Christ turned water to wine). Continue to delay the wedding until you break her, cause if you blink now you will suffer in your marriage. be the man.

NoToPile:
God bless you.

whoever that gave that opinion has said everything I wish I could say. my hats off to s/he , honestly that's all truth.