₦airaland Forum

Quality20:
just continue with her, this isn't really a bad quality, even at that guess she has other better qualities u admire so much n like. She might change gradually. Ladies by nature are like babies, babies wanna keep everything to themselves and are stingy but do grow out of it at different times. This isn't enough reason to break up Mr man.

I read this and laughed, sometimes I wonder what kinda ladies y'all roll with. Babies act illogical and with time they have to be taught sense. Well you added "might" change.

OP can bank his future on a "might"

loswhite:
Pussy men everywhere..

Pussy brains everywhere

Rajman45:
Ur very funny....lol.

All d digging ur giving her, back and front... U think say na for free. Please wipe that useless idea that sex is a mutual enjoyment for both parties. Sex is not for free.... Even married couples has paid for it through paying her dowry.

Never u forget that ur d one going into her nd not d other way around.

with this ur statement, u av been removed 4rm the list of heavenly candidate. Wtf!!

Idrisenagi:
She just doesn't care, how can a woman be this selfish for God sake

elder Don vex oo

VillagePipu:
If you are sick (God forbid) and you need money to pay for one or 2 things, do you think she would use her money and pay for you to live?

That lady would allow you die for her to save 500k.

With what I've been seeing bro, even if he has 50k, she can never spare 15k for me to live. At least I've been in more terrible situation than being sick and I saw no sympathy from her

Cvrst:
Why don't you people learn to pray and follow the will of God? All these issues won't be there if you follow God's will. Most people are just driven by fleshly lusts and forget that God knows better. Right now you're confused. I've gone through the comments and I'm certain, making a decision from them won't be easy cos they have too many smart but different views. Put God first. I'm sure God will arrange a "perfect" wife for you.

How do you know she's not God's will him.

Or are you God's PA

You can't think for God oga.

By the way how do you know God's will?

Starlight10:
Guy dont miss her ooh, my big Sis is stingy, she was like that till she got married to the Guy, guess what!, now her family comes first, she no send us. She spends all her money on her kids and home. The guy is practically not doing much at home. This kind of wife will put her marriage and her nuclear family first. Don't listen to the people here telling you that you are dating yourself. No body has come to say anything about a stingy wife. Women are sometimes like that. Some girls give as a way to tie a man and when she enters the marriage you won't see anything again. Be wise.

I don't want to comment before but ur comment prompted me.....let me brief a story that happened in Akure 7 yrs ago.,.. The husband got financial difficulty after 4 years of marriage, the landlord forced them to park out due to his inability to re-new house rent, the husband, wife and two kids moved to his friend rented apartment who was also married with kids......after a month that they had been living with husband's friend family, the wife bought land ..... wife had money to buy land on her name but didn't have money to assist husband to renew house rent in which she would be a beneficiary...they stayed in friend house for another 2 months before husband got money to rent another apartment . A stingy lady is dangerous to marry. %Life is not a bed of roses a time will come that husband will broke* not even a guy on contract appointment.

Chamakh93:
op , abeg no mind all these pple wey Dy make uno marry am o, although, no be I say I Dy support dat kind character , but u can't just leave a relationship because of something as trivial as dat. pple go kon Dy ask u why u quit d relationship , u go kon say na because of stinginess, u sef no go fit talk am. so think again.

this is not a valid reason, because of wetin people go talk you wan ruin your life...haba na chairman, na 2019 be this o, where in the real sense of life "NO BODY REALLY CARES"

Maybe she thinks u are stingy.

She maybe thinks that u earn so much as a banker, not knowing u are just a bank teller

I dont believe he come up with such things coz he doesnt earn much yet, a relationship needs doesn't have to be mandatory on a man alone since they are both working and were adults, a successful relationship deserve both sides contribution the guys is not even expect much but at least the lady suppose be appreciating his significant others, friends alone does buy each others gift talk less of a relationship partners of 2 years old that you cant be bold of a single gift from her that's too bad of her thats my own opinions.

utenwuson:
if u have 1k and can't give out 200 naira, my brother even if u have 10m u won't stoll give out 200 naira.....

Gbam!

Guyman02:
Let me share a personal experience, when I was dating my wife, I didnt take time to observe that I was basically doing everything in the relationship and it was a one sided affair.
I was buying things for her because money was flowing and she was earning little from her work place. I deluded myself that she was stingy because she earned little and since I was making a lot of money outside my salary there was no issue, I was simply in love.
Then we got married and she got a better high paying job.
After sometime my company redeployed me to another unit where I was forced to depend solely on my salary, no more access to vendors and suppliers who tipped me regularly to facilitate procurement under my control.
We had our baby and the salary alone could no longer carry all our bills, the rent which I could afford to pay without touching my salary back in the day was now a burden.
I kept asking my wife for assistance and it was not forthcoming, it was then I started thinking backwards and realised that I didnt take note of her stinginess.
The pressure continued growing and frustration started setting in, I was calculating what her salary can do for us but she was not ready to assist, frustration due to mounting financial pressure started getting hold of me and in the process katakata burst.
She will even tell me that the bible says that any man who cannot feed his family is worse than an infidel.

We had fights and nothing has changed in her attitude, she spends her money however she likes including buying cars of her choice, trinkets, sending to her family etc while my own money in her eyes is for the Federal Republic. Whenever I send money to my own relations or people in need she gets angry and will remind me about outstanding school fees, gas, light etc so I have to resort to doing things for my own people without informing her.

I had to accept the situation and live grudgingly with it since I cannot divorce her but decided to hustle harder for the sake of the family including her.
At this point its no longer about love in marriage but survival, that her beauty and other 'traits' wey being dey shack me then is no longer the key element in the relationship after some years because there are several bills to settle.
Financial consideration is a very key point for any relationship to be successful and stinginess (which is tantamount to selfishness) causes crisis in marriages.
Guy I will not advise you but I am sharing my personal experience of several years in marriage to help you decide.

Bro, I'm sorry mehn. But why continue in a loveless marriage, isn't that just misery.

Rejoice5000:
There's no way she can be accommodating she is naturally wicked if u like peaceful and happy home free dat lady.look for someone else dat will give what u want.don't use ur money and buy what will be pinching u for the rest of ur life.

Exactly.. No one knows it when it comes to relationship or marriage issues and that was why I brought the issue up here to hear from married folks

Edyice:
I really don't know what to say to you but As a guy man you don't beg / ask woman for money , because if you do , correct guys will be chopping her steady and she will be giving you the money .


Just saying sha....

Mumu talk.

So here goes : you sound like a very giving person. You want to make your partner happy. In my opinion, that is what love is all about. Two givers make a great relationship. Yes, I think you should find someone on the same page, as you asked, as far as generosity is concerned. your complaining is on a good cause to me. You cant be IYALODE of taken always in the name of relationship and not ready to give back....

Eyeness:
the reason you wrote this is because you don't have much. if she is a good person despite this, then marry her. Actually, you are the provider in the family. How come i never see rich men complain of stingy women?

I wonder what good can come from a stingy person.

Think of this: Even the wealthiest man on earth still expect financial assistance at times from his other half
#Fact

majormofor:
You man, your dating yourself o... If a girl truly loves you she would buy something without telling you.
Best advice---"buy something for urself and let her know it's New and tell her, it's one of your female friends that bought it and you love it soooooo much..
Let see how we go from there. Her reaction should speak more

You're absolutely right, relationship should be give and take between partners involved, no matter how little it is. I once had an ex like that she told me my money is ours why her money is hers. I told her bluntly that such mentality is wrong. My advise to you count your teeth with your tongue, people hardly change even when they're married. If you know you can cope with such attitude wife her but if not you know what to do, he who wears the shoes knows where it pinches. Stop seeking validation here cause i know your instinct must have told you what to do why not follow it?

majormofor:
You man, your dating yourself o... If a girl truly loves you she would buy something without telling you.
Best advice---"buy something for urself and let her know it's New and tell her, it's one of your female friends that bought it and you love it soooooo much..
Let see how we go from there. Her reaction should speak more

Her type no go shake

Billy99:
Madam shut up. Maybe you are like your big sister sef. Read what the op said again, for 2 years.... 2 years means 365 days x 2.. She no even buy hair cream or pin. I sure say she neva even contribute anything for the relationship. Even as little as one gold circle. She won't change. Hold a stingy woman tight ko. Make God no let us see o.

you guys want a perfect woman but you ain't perfect. She is not cheating, they have good sex life, she has her job so not a liability. You want him to go out and end up with a cheating girl. Anyway let me mind my Bussines.

jaxxy:
I’m trying to know if her stingyness is because she isn’t earning much now and trying to be prudent or it’s in her bones like a typical ijebu woman. Lol. If it’s the latter pls be careful.

U need to study her spending and giving Habits, since she doesn’t give to u what does she do with all her money? This shud help u further know how prudent or how selfish she is.

Note not all ijebu are stingy bt the typical ones ahhh. Let’s not go there.

He said they have been dating for 2 good years and he has never for once receive any gift even if it's is small.

My guy even if you're earning #5k are you trying to tell me that you can't even buy something of #500 for you babe? Or she can't buy a gift or even save #100 every month to even buy him a gift?

Has nothing to do with what she's earning.

user283:
I've never received any gift from her before.. Not even a gift as cheap as N100

I'm afraid for you bro. It's very unnatural honestly.
Bro, you deserve better. If you're a giver, you deserve a giver too.

Another question ...has she borrowed you money before? Whether you asked her or she just felt you needed help then she borrowed you?

user283:
There's this lady I've been dating for two years now. We happen to be members of the same church and I ought to have taken the relationship to the next level by getting my parents to her place for our introduction last month but I had a rethink and postponed our introduction due to an issue that might cause problem in the future

I noticed my girlfriend is the stingy type. When I mean stingy, it's on the high side. Assuming she's just averagely stingy I wouldn't really be bothered but this is gross.

I work as a bank teller (contract staff) and my salary isn't really much while she works in Shoprite. Even from the little I earn, I'm always sensitive to her needs and I tip her whether she's stranded or not since I love her but how can I explain being with a lady for two solid years and I've never for once received any gift no matter how little it is? Not even something as little as toothbrush or hair cream

Initially, I didn't see this as a big deal probably because I grew up with the mentality that it's a taboo for a man to expect gifts or little support from his girlfriend when he's in dire need
but I've now grown to realize that "give and take" is one of the key elements of a good relationship

Even if I get stranded or go into debt, my girlfriend acts nonchalant and she'll be the
last person that will ever render a little financial assistance to help my situation. You might say I should sit her down and discuss about it. Yes I've already done that and I made her understand that I actually postponed our introduction for no other reason but because I'm still indecisive if I want to spend the rest of my life with a selfish woman but her response shows she takes pride in being stingy

I even used logic to whine her younger brother recently just to be sure if she's stingy to me alone but the boy confirmed it that her sister is very stingy. I decided to carry out my findings on her brother because I believe he should know her better.

You might want to talk about sex but my belief is that sex is just a mutual pleasure and does not define what a woman gives to you in a relationship especially a relationship that will lead to the altar

What's getting me worried is that we've come a long way but I don't want to end up with a selfish woman because it's written all over her that she cares so much only about her own well being

Please advice your fellow brother. Do I have a reason to be worried? I've been jumping a lagoon for a woman who can't jump a gutter for me especially when it comes to giving. Should I tolerate this level of stinginess from a woman simply because I'm a man?

P.S: I'm still with her because she has other good traits

Please pardon my typos. I wrote this in a hurry

bro, u just need to have a re think... i dont think u will want you to end up with this kind of lady. think about this, bro u made mention of u been a contract staff and there is no job security in banking job, what if u got married to her and something happen....bro u will regret marrying her.

generalissimo:
To think that somebody like you will get married one day is scary. If you had not written this under the influence of weed, then, your mother needs a lot of prayers to do

-with constant dry fasting.

[quote author=user283 post=84337806]There's this lady I've been dating for two years now. We happen to be members of the same church and I ought to have taken the relationship to the next level by getting my parents to her place for our introduction last month but I had a rethink.

Brotherly, irrespective of how far you've gone in the wrong direction like somebody rightly mentioned above, one good thing you can do for yourself is to turn 360 degree.

Marriage or even friendship thrive more on win win relationship.

Definitely, financial responsibilities lies mostly on male but that doesn't necessarily mean one can survive in an isolation.

Some people are like that not necessarily because she's female, we have some male like that as well. They are just so stingy and selfish beyong repair.

Like you said, she has been like that for good two years you've been together.

There is an adage in Yoruba "Ka di ju ka se bi eniku"

All the signals are right there before you.

It's all in your hands.

majormofor:
You man, your dating yourself o... If a girl truly loves you she would buy something without telling you.
Best advice---"buy something for urself and let her know it's New and tell her, it's one of your female friends that bought it and you love it soooooo much..
Let see how we go from there. Her reaction should speak more

Word!!!

lollybizzu:
I'm afraid for you bro. It's very unnatural honestly.
Bro, you deserve better. If you're a giver, you deserve a giver too.

Another question ...has she borrowed you money before? Whether you asked her or she just felt you needed help then she borrowed you?

She has never borrowed me money before no matter how things get though for me and this is someone I have gone into debt for just to make her happy. At a point I was forced to abuse her of being a stingy person but it always end up in quarrels

Eyeness:
the reason you wrote this is because you don't have much. if she is a good person despite this, then marry her. Actually, you are the provider in the family. How come i never see rich men complain of stingy women?

Well, seeing that he’s not a rich man, doesn’t that make you sound dumb?
People like you are the reason some men use their wives for ritual because they are only worth a penny dead.

user283:
There's this lady I've been dating for two years now. We happen to be members of the same church and I ought to have taken the relationship to the next level by getting my parents to her place for our introduction last month but I had a rethink and postponed our introduction due to an issue that might cause problem in the future

I noticed my girlfriend is the stingy type. When I mean stingy, it's on the high side. Assuming she's just averagely stingy I wouldn't really be bothered but this is gross.

I work as a bank teller (contract staff) and my salary isn't really much while she works in Shoprite. Even from the little I earn, I'm always sensitive to her needs and I tip her whether she's stranded or not since I love her but how can I explain being with a lady for two solid years and I've never for once received any gift no matter how little it is? Not even something as little as toothbrush or hair cream

Initially, I didn't see this as a big deal probably because I grew up with the mentality that it's a taboo for a man to expect gifts or little support from his girlfriend when he's in dire need
but I've now grown to realize that "give and take" is one of the key elements of a good relationship

Even if I get stranded or go into debt, my girlfriend acts nonchalant and she'll be the
last person that will ever render a little financial assistance to help my situation. You might say I should sit her down and discuss about it. Yes I've already done that and I made her understand that I actually postponed our introduction for no other reason but because I'm still indecisive if I want to spend the rest of my life with a selfish woman but her response shows she takes pride in being stingy

I even used logic to whine her younger brother recently just to be sure if she's stingy to me alone but the boy confirmed it that her sister is very stingy. I decided to carry out my findings on her brother because I believe he should know her better.

You might want to talk about sex but my belief is that sex is just a mutual pleasure and does not define what a woman gives to you in a relationship especially a relationship that will lead to the altar

What's getting me worried is that we've come a long way but I don't want to end up with a selfish woman because it's written all over her that she cares so much only about her own well being

Please advice your fellow brother. Do I have a reason to be worried? I've been jumping a lagoon for a woman who can't jump a gutter for me especially when it comes to giving. Should I tolerate this level of stinginess from a woman simply because I'm a man?

P.S: I'm still with her because she has other good traits

Please pardon my typos. I wrote this in a hurry

My concern is if she will help you out in financing the home like helping out in school fees, rent, feeding medical and some family expenses

But from your narratives, you may end up working like a jackal for the family to survive since her own sibling have really confirmed her stingyness

I am not saying that you love her for her earnings but you see men likes women paying bills or showing attributes of care spending during courtship

It gives them the believe that she will be supportive

No man will want a woman to do his job, but the economic situation can develop to that

Well, check very well and see if there are other things you can't cope with

And the worst is that people like tgat don't give anything out but expect you to keep pleasing them with gift and cash

Their stingyness made them to be self centred and careless about others need

Starlight10:
Guy dont miss her ooh, my big Sis is stingy, she was like that till she got married to the Guy, guess what!, now her family comes first, she no send us. She spends all her money on her kids and home. The guy is practically not doing much at home. This kind of wife will put her marriage and her nuclear family first. Don't listen to the people here telling you that you are dating yourself. No body has come to say anything about a stingy wife. Women are sometimes like that. Some girls give as a way to tie a man and when she enters the marriage you won't see anything again. Be wise.

But his girl is not your sister? Also, if he has showed her he wants to take this to the next level but postponed it and she knows why, and that the relationship is on the edge, yet she is isn't willing to change, that says a lot.

Remember her brother has testified to the stinginess too, so she doesn't do at all for anyone.

she's not ur wife bro, her stingy will get worse when u guys married since u hv tested her so many times and u made ur finding from her brother, which other Change do u expect from her when u married her, is inborn in her... my thoughts too!

Hoodbilonia:
Hahahahaha
Heya. Pussy strong ooohh.
I dont know why God no give man pussyyy too.
Its normal for naija girls na. Lol. Ozwo
So u dey expect gift from okpo.
Even if she dey work for any fucking mall
She be okpo my guy.
She dey spend for another guy head..
I get one bich like dat,naso she dey do. Afta i don Bleep craze comor for her body na 1k,2k i fey give am as feeding miney go house. Drop am for abt a mile away frm her side.
But when i check her gram,fb,whatsapp she be female davido snappin and uploading every min.
The tin iz i don position am,2k,3k. No level.
If your bich respect u,she go show u love
My own dey cook for me,buy me supermarkets once once.omo na me run visit come wan turn every 3 days. Na na na.
Id been sleeping on the bich
Woke up couple months back..bich
My guy naika girls are ungrateful and arrogant.
Even if u like buy am house.
They got no love or appteciation.
Imagine say your gal na whitey.
By now u 4 don dey drive range sport

Oga what are you saying naa? Calm down.

Rajman45:
Ur very funny....lol.

All d digging ur giving her, back and front... U think say na for free. Please wipe that useless idea that sex is a mutual enjoyment for both parties. Sex is not for free.... Even married couples has paid for it through paying her dowry.

Never u forget that ur d one going into her nd not d other way around.

What kinda mentality is this? You're very disgusting! Spit!!