I know I'm going to receive a lot of bashing here but I don't mind as I'm looking for solution. I've been following other related threads on the topic and it seems most men don't forgive women that cheated on them.

I cheated on my man. This happened over a year ago when the relationship was going through a rough patch. Actually I didn't set out to cheat and never planned it.

In fact the person it happened with was a person I was confiding in when I was trying to get solutions to my relationship issues.

This person was my married colleague that I joined to work in his car. I thought I could get mature advice by telling him. I was weak and emotionally down and on one of such days of crying to him it happened in his car.

It happened like 3 more times because I go to work with him and come back with him. But I was overcome with guilt (because he was married and for cheating) that I had to stop. But my mistake was that I didn't cut him off completely.

I remained cordial friends with him since he is a colleague and I stopped joining his car. He also moved to another branch. He called occasionally to try his luck but I never gave in. Somehow my man became suspicious by his calls and one thing led to the other and I had to confess.

My man said he has forgiven but can't get back together again. I have been following other threads with similar topics and I saw that men find it very hard to forgive a woman that once cheated.

In this case I'm truly sorry, I have learnt my lessons and I can never make that kind of mistake again. I don't love the man in question, I never wanted anything from him apart from advice from the onset, I stopped on my own, I only remained friends because he was my colleague. I love my man and will do anything to keep him and win his trust back. I'm not a cheat by nature.

I'm heartbroken and filled with guilt and regret. I can't talk to anyone in my circle for fear of condemnation because I'm wrong in every area.

Please is there any hope for me? How do I go about winning him back? How do I convince him that I truly regret my actions? How do I help him heal?

Well I don't do girlfriend, does she need your forgiveness since you are not married to her? You are fornicating with someone's daughter and the dad is forgiving you, why don't you forgive her?

I do wife.
If she cheats I forgive her, that is love.

It solely depends on the individual who is affected by what u have done... The odds are very low that he gives u a second chance... But paraventure he does let go it should seve as a deterrent not to indulge in such act...

I'm here to bash and I will do so thoroughly. My name is shibaraba and I don't mince words.

Not once, not twice but thrice. Well Peter denied Jesus three times. Your man is not Jesus. And I hope he never forgives you.
How dare you.
I'm feeling his pain as I speak.
As in My personal punna somebody nack am. No be even for better hotel.... For inside car. Abasimikipanyong. Cheating is a process. What lead you to do it once it's sure you'll do it again.
Me advice for you, better continue nacking your colleague and leave your man. For if I was your man, we will keep dating till My wedding day... With another. Turn you to lord of the rings. You go turn maid, cook, driver, anything I want and I still won't marry you. For I will always see you as an okpo. And anytime you come back from an outing na soso sperm I go dey smell around you because e go be me like say you just go lick preeq finish.
No vex... Na my mind I talk. Truth is bitter. This is the truth

It is not impossible but not everyone can forgive a cheating girlfriend. Everyone need a girl he can trust a bit. Even if he forgive you, he is going to find it hard to trust you and that could only mean a very toxic relationship

Madam..
No hope of u gettin him back..
U can't eat your cake and have it back...
Once a shot always a shit..
A bleeped pussy can never be unfucked..
Just some few convincing words from the married man..then u will start riding is dick again..since u find it hard to disconnect him from u totally..

Me I no go blame you, I no say you like prick, forget all that emotionally down bullshit, me sef I like puna Wella, this life is too short deliberating on why, who or how you fcked, just fck and enjoy yourself...

Wait o, no be Musa I see so ,dey kiss Amina for gate so ..... I dey come

Honestly, I don't know for him. But putting myself in his shoes, it will be very hard since sex is involved.

My advice is for you to try healing cos you sound really messed up. Forgive yourself. Increase your worth. Be content that he has forgiven you. Hopefully he might come around.

I wish you best of luck.

First of all, stay away COMPLETELY from that colleague of yours. Apologize to your man & let him see genuine repentance in you. Peradventure he'll forgive you though he may find it hard to forget for now. He may also find it hard to trust you in future. All the same, let him see you are truly sorry.

Sometimes when a man genuinely love you.. He wants you just to himself. Your body becomes his pride.. Because in most cases that's the only thing a man values in a woman.. It's priceless knowing you have a girl or a wife no other man can touch.
It's priceless knowing u have a girl u can leave for weeks and she's intact.
But for women it's different, u don't really value our body that much.. U value our possessions, our future.. Our strength and if we fall short, u change course.

Well, to my answer.. If u truly love your man.. Stay away from your friend...stay so far away.
Give your man some month..prove to him you've stayed far. Prove to him it won't happen again..you can do this, by giving yourself time to heal and also giving him some space to miss u. He will come around. But give him time to think. And don't give him room for second thought.

When they say men and women can't be close friends most of you ladies including married ones will claim I prefer men as friends. The co-worker bid his time with you and waited for the right moment to have sex with you and trust me that moment always comes with women. You are just sorry you got caught that's all he would have still have his way with you.

Shibaraba:
I'm here to bash and I will do so thoroughly. My name is shibaraba and I don't mince words.

Not once, not twice but thrice. Well Peter denied Jesus three times. Your man is not Jesus. And I hope he never forgives you.
How dare you.
I'm feeling his pain as I speak.
As in My personal punna somebody nack am. No be even for better hotel.... For inside car. Abasimikipanyong. Cheating is a process. What lead you to do it once it's sure you'll do it again.
Me advice for you, better continue nacking your colleague and leave your man. For if I was your man, we will keep dating till My wedding day... With another. Turn you to lord of the rings. You go turn maid, cook, driver, anything I want and I still won't marry you. For I will always see you as an okpo. And anytime you come back from an outing na soso sperm I go dey smell around you because e go be me like say you just go lick preeq finish.
No vex... Na my mind I talk. Truth is bitter. This is the truth

Bro she said four times...or more actually...

Madam op since you've learned your mistake simply let the fellow have peace as he wishes...married man, inside car...there are levels to things, no sense of self respect in anyway.

According to your post, he already said he forgave you (which is respectable of him), but that he doesn't want a relationship with you anymore (which shows he's a man w| standards). You can't expect any sane person to continue a r|ship w| someone who has cheated on them (had sex with another party) not once but four times. Girl, put yourself in his shoes.

Trust is very difficult to repair once it's broken.

Move on and learn from this.

JERRY1925:
Sometimes when a man genuinely love you.. He wants you just to himself. Your body becomes his pride.. Because in most cases that's the only thing a man values in a woman.. It's priceless knowing you have a girl or a wife no other man can touch.
It's priceless knowing u have a girl u can leave for weeks and she's intact.
But for women it's different, u don't really value our body that much.. U value our possessions, our future.. Our strength and if we fall short, u change course.

Well, to my answer.. If u truly love your man.. Stay away from your friend...stay so far away.
Give your man some month..prove to him you've stayed far. Prove to him it won't happen again..you can do this, by giving yourself time to heal and also giving him some space to miss u. He will come around. But give him time to think. And don't give him room for second thought.

The said guy/man is prolly down emotionally & psychologically because the only thought that's running in his mind at the moment might be he has failed as a Man to protect his property (Girl)


Now to make the matter worse the said Man should even be financially okay than the married man this would even add more salt to his injury because both his money and his girl has failed him woefully....

I know I deserve all the bashing I'm receiving here and more. But I wonder why it's very difficult for most to believe that I'm actually repentant about the whole thing. I know I really hurt my man which is part of my pain. I can never repeat such action no matter the circumstances with what I've learnt and I believe if I am lucky enough to get a second chance I'll be a much better version of myself and be forever grateful. It happened in the car because I wouldn't have agreed to follow him elsewhere by then it would be premeditated. I rejected every of his attempt to meet him anywhere else. Those were moments of weakness although it cannot be justified.

theButterfly:
According to your post, he already said he forgave you (which is respectable of him), but that he doesn't want a relationship with you anymore (which shows he's a man w| standards). You can't expect any sane person to continue a r|ship w| someone who has cheated on them (had sex with another party) not once but four times. Girl, put yourself in his shoes.

Trust is very difficult to repair once it's broken.

Move on and learn from this.

I understand. We have talked about this. But it's difficult to move on with the guilt, regret and sense of loss. And I want to do anything to help him heal.

JERRY1925:
Sometimes when a man genuinely love you.. He wants you just to himself. Your body becomes his pride.. Because in most cases that's the only thing a man values in a woman.. It's priceless knowing you have a girl or a wife no other man can touch.
It's priceless knowing u have a girl u can leave for weeks and she's intact.
But for women it's different, u don't really value our body that much.. U value our possessions, our future.. Our strength and if we fall short, u change course.

Well, to my answer.. If u truly love your man.. Stay away from your friend...stay so far away.
Give your man some month..prove to him you've stayed far. Prove to him it won't happen again..you can do this, by giving yourself time to heal and also giving him some space to miss u. He will come around. But give him time to think. And don't give him room for second thought.

Thank you.

Butterscotch92:
I know I deserve all the bashing I'm receiving here and more. But I wonder why it's very difficult for most to believe that I'm actually repentant about the whole thing. I know I really hurt my man which is part of my pain. I can never repeat such action no matter the circumstances with what I've learnt and I believe if I am lucky enough to get a second chance I'll be a much better version of myself and be forever grateful. It happened in the car because I wouldn't have agreed to follow him elsewhere by then it would be premeditated. I rejected every of his attempt to meet him anywhere else. Those were moments of weakness although it cannot be justified.

That's how u na dey talk. Second chance will turn to third chance, from third chance to fourth chances. May God help you anyway.

We men believe that a cheating girlfriend never repent, I thought it was just a saying until I noticed it on two occasions with me and with my friend .

You are lucky he's moving on, some guys would just be using you as sex object until you are tired.

Move on you can't have him back .

Butterscotch92:
I know I deserve all the bashing I'm receiving here and more. But I wonder why it's very difficult for most to believe that I'm actually repentant about the whole thing. I know I really hurt my man which is part of my pain. I can never repeat such action no matter the circumstances with what I've learnt and I believe if I am lucky enough to get a second chance I'll be a much better version of myself and be forever grateful. It happened in the car because I wouldn't have agreed to follow him elsewhere by then it would be premeditated. I rejected every of his attempt to meet him anywhere else. Those were moments of weakness although it cannot be justified.

Any second chance is just to waste your time. Take that to the bank.

......

EngrMarve:
Well I don't do girlfriend, does she need your forgiveness since you are not married to her? You are fornicating with someone's daughter and the dad is forgiving you, why don't you forgive her?

I do wife.
If she cheats I forgive her, that is love.

pls fall in love with and marry me. Since you will forgive wife

Shibaraba:
I'm here to bash and I will do so thoroughly. My name is shibaraba and I don't mince words.

Not once, not twice but thrice. Well Peter denied Jesus three times. Your man is not Jesus. And I hope he never forgives you.
How dare you.
I'm feeling his pain as I speak.
As in My personal punna somebody nack am. No be even for better hotel.... For inside car. Abasimikipanyong. Cheating is a process. What lead you to do it once it's sure you'll do it again.
Me advice for you, better continue nacking your colleague and leave your man. For if I was your man, we will keep dating till My wedding day... With another. Turn you to lord of the rings. You go turn maid, cook, driver, anything I want and I still won't marry you. For I will always see you as an okpo. And anytime you come back from an outing na soso sperm I go dey smell around you because e go be me like say you just go lick preeq finish.
No vex... Na my mind I talk. Truth is bitter. This is the truth

Damn Bro !!!!!!

He has the capacity to heal on his own. The best type of healing is often independent of the ex-partner's intervention, hence you needn't do anything other than giving him space. Besides the typical apology, people who file for divorce over adultery don't stick around to help each other heal b|c it's not necessary and may be counter-productive.

Although you've probably damaged his ego and confidence as a man, his words that he forgave you means he will heal from the hurt, but forgiving someone in a situation like this doesn't mean you forget or still want to be with them. If you do manage to get back together after giving him space, know that the r|ship will never be the same - he won't treat you the same and his trust in you would be a -0.00000002. You both would be wasting your time. I know I wouldn't even entertain the thought of getting back into a r|ship w| someone who cheated that many times, let alone investing my energy and time in them again.

You haven't lost anything but have gained a handful of lessons to be a better person and faithful partner in your next r|ship. At least I hope you've learned.

Butterscotch92:


I understand. We have talked about this. But it's difficult to move on with the guilt, regret and sense of loss. And I want to do anything to help him heal.

Women have fish brain... Just a little gentle touch and correct talks, a smart guy can easily get to a broken lady pants.

I believe that with another little rough patch between u and him, will also lead to another shifting of pant by another sharp guy. Make una get sense

You Banged Your Colleague Once, Your Banged Him Again and Then Again. You Have The Guts To Say You Regret It, you Didnt Regret The First And Second. You Are Not Alright.

Move On, he Doesnt Want You Again. I Hope Its A Lesson To You but I Honestly Doubt That

superlanny:
Me I no go blame you, I no say you like prick, forget all that emotionally down bullshit, me sef I like puna Wella, this life is too short deliberating on why, who or how you fcked, just fck and enjoy yourself...

Wait o, no be Musa I see so ,dey kiss Amina for gate so ..... I dey come

yea even if u saw him kissing a lady, is it ur lady or sis he is kissing?

Rajman45:
Women have fish brain... Just a little gentle touch and correct talks, a smart guy can easily get to a broken lady pants.

I believe that with another little rough patch between u and him, will also lead to another shifting of pant by another sharp guy. Make una get sense

its not really about fish brains pls. women are created like that, in religion, we d men are told that its better we touch fire than touch a strange woman cos it could generate sexual tension from d woman. On d other hand ,men don't really get into sexual tension when touched by women either mistakenly or deliberately.