Triniti:
Did you read the op? She wants to run and hide with the kids? Is she a fugitive? Why would she run with the kids without her husband consent? Don’t you know it’s a crime to do that? Separate with the man if you no longer want the marriage.

Some people tried that and they not alive to tell the story. Some will snuff out d life from you before you leave them. Next thing we see on Fp, Man Kills Wife. She should escape first.

Sorry dear, you married your enemy

AwkaetitiBabe:
Some people tried that and they not alive to tell the story. Some will snuff out d life from you before you leave them. Next thing we see on Fp, Man Kills Wife. She should escape first.

chai, I didn’t see anywhere she mentioned that her life is under threat. You should put your emotions in check and give pragmatic advice

Triniti:
chai, I didn’t see anywhere she mentioned that her life is under threat. You should put your emotions in check and give pragmatic advice

Well, one gotta b careful. U know how some humans can get

Sanchez01:
The dangerous kind of people to deal with are fanatics and those who are inbetween; neither hot nor cold...neither here nor there. Kindheartedd, I remember your story very well. Shared the link as a matter of fact. Sadly, as much as God doesn't love divorce, your health (mental, emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual) matters a great deal.

Your other partner is a toxic being and reading through the previous thread back then and this makes me wonder whether or not you didn't see these signs before going ahead to marry him. I'll ignorantly claim you did but chose to ignore the signs and thought you could manage or that you overestimated your strength.

However, I feel you're about making a mistake, not because you want to leave your marriage but because you feel you want to prove a thing or make a statement.



He is horrible based on the way you painted him, granted, but living to impress the man who abused you is similar to being stuck in the past. You might not just have peace of mind if you leave with that mindset as you will constantly think about ways to get back at him. If you ask me, it doesn't make sense to burden yourself with the burden you felt while with him. If you can't live differently from the way you did while with him, then your leaving won't mean a thing.

Finally, pursue this legally and not act like a fugitive when you are not being chased.

If you are leaving, please do so for the pursuit of peace and happiness; for the sake of your health and your kids. Wishing you all the best in your endeavours.

This, I agree with 100%.

Thinking of proving anything to him means his opinions of you still controls you.

You need time off to heal. Since your husband is toxic, I doubt he would watch you walk away without attempting to damage you more.

You need your family's support, a good lawyer and a solid plan. Follow due processes inorder to avoid more chaos going forward.

Everyone deserves to be happy. You will find happiness again. All the very best.

Kindheartedd:
I opened a thread sometime ago about my husband's attitude.

I won't just go into details but all I need now is leave, leave him for good.

My plan is to totally leave the state we live now to a different state to start life all over with my kids. I work, I will make sure they have the best. I won't let my family know my whereabouts. Change my phone number and live a new life.

I do not want any one to link me up with him again. I hate him now. I have heard enough, enough of abuse. He's done more damage to me than good. His is proud and ungrateful.

He is owing me slot of money but I can let go.

I want to teach him a hard lesson by leaving with my kids before he return from work on Monday.

My advice to young ones especially God fearing ones, don't marry a man who is just a casual Christian, who answer on paper 'christanity' when asked which religion.

He never believed I can move forward, I struggled to raise my status by hard work n prayer, I went to a private uni, he even insulted my dad to my face that he waisted money on my for sending me to private uni, Haa, my ears twingled when he said it all because I was earning about 100k, he was earning way more than me and he'd never give me peace because he earnes more. Named me all sorts of names. I saved little n resigned since there was no hope of earning more money where I worked.

When I asked to open a joint account his response was my income was meant for eating not saving. And ridiculously told me to hide my face for trying to measure him to my standard. That we don't earn the same amount and we can't jointly run an account. For days, he shamed me with that.

I boldly took a decision to resign and I almost end it all but I was putting things in place to get the best in life no matter what. Alas, God helped me and now, I'm doing well and my monthly income is daily getting more than his. I painfully went for a trianing and have decided to get an office and employ more hands because I can no longer handle tasks alone due to work load and he is killing the dream.

I know him, he wants to frustrate me, he knows the sky is not my limit again even, but I want to teach him a lesson that in his next life he will never talk any human being down.

He is getting worst daily by being abusive, I won't know peace if so stay with him. Now he wants to do what I do, so jealous and unsecured.

I live in a recluse due to my work and I have an abusive man, if not for my belief on God maybe I would have taken my life since.

I was abused as a child, I think the best for me now is live alone. Human beings are not worth it, I hate relationships and marriage now, like it's all a scam. I just want to be alone with my innocent kids.

Am just weak, it's going to be a shame, my friendd n family won't like my decision but I want to send a message to this man. He must learn to respect me, called my brain fish brain,? My own father waisted money on me? I will surely break grounds to send him a message.

Am just in pain, am soo so so sad. Once I leave him I will be a celebate for life. I will never allow any man to make me experience abuse again. Never!!!

You have gone through a lot. Your travails are quite touching. However, you cant get past this alone, you need friends and family to be behind you, trust me. Think it through. I can talk you through this, it's the least i could do. Everyone deserves to be happy but make sure your family are in the know, you might end up killing your parents or siblings if you decide to go underground without informing them

One sided story

So who we be fucking you now?

What abt the kids.You cant cut him off drom his kids even though you are trying to heal.

Kindheartedd:


My advice to young ones especially God fearing ones, don't marry a man who is just a casual Christian, who answer on paper 'christanity' when asked which religion.

This has nothing to do with Christianity or religion. I fall into that "casual Christian" category. I don't go to church nor read the Bible, but not many active Christians live a more just life than me. I was born and brought up a Christian, but somethings about Christianity and religion as a whole doesn't feel right to me. My religion right now is HUMANITY. Your husband lacks humanity. I can't treat a human being like this, not to talk of my wife and mother of my kids.

I wish you well in whatever you decide to do but like someone above said, do this legally before it backfires.

Take a deep breath first. You have every right to leave a marriage that you do not find yourself happy in, but abandoning family, friends, business and everything you call home because of a soon to be ex-spouse is like cutting your nose to spite your face. Just get a good lawyer and divorce him amicably. Contrary to what Africa Magic always teaches, divorce need not always be bitter and acrimonous. For your future peace of mind (after your anger at being 'insulted' has died down; as it will), take heed.

Kindheartedd:

I want to teach him a hard lesson by leaving with my kids before he return from work on Monday.

You want to hurt him by teaching him a hard lesson but I only see you getting hurt. When he sue's you for kidnap you would realise you weren't smart after all and he's words 'fish brain' would ring in your head. Don't hurt your kids by denying them of fatherly affection cos it's obvious from your plan they don't lack it much.

File for Divorce at court and obtain exclusive rights of being a single parent to your kids as a smart woman would do (but I don't support that as I feel they need him also in their lives) instead of planning to kidnap them. You may say;
but they are my kids!
How is this kidnapping ¿
If I were his lawyer, with this your plan I'd make sure u stay in jail for so long and make you never see your kids again.

I know no one deserves to live a depressed life, but wisdom is the most principal thing.

Whatever makes you happy. I have learnt to always support men till proven otherwise. There are lot of bad men around no doubt but women are known to be dramatic and blow things out of proportion.
Anyway, you have the right to leave if you feel that's the best decision for you but I ain't calling your husband names till I hear his own side.

ZiriMane:


You want to hurt him by teaching him a hard lesson but I only see you getting hurt. When he sue's you for kidnap you would realise you weren't smart after all and he's words 'fish brain' would ring in your head. Don't hurt your kids by denying them of fatherly affection cos it's obvious from your plan they don't lack it much.

File for Divorce at court and obtain exclusive rights of being a single parent to your kids as a smart woman would do (but I don't support that as I feel they need him also in their lives) instead of planning to kidnap them. You may say;
but they are my kids!
How is this kidnapping ¿
If I were his lawyer, with this your plan I'd make sure u stay in jail for so long and make you never see your kids again.

I know no one deserves to live a depressed life, but wisdom is the most principal thing.

.. Wisdom.

And these ones would have done pre-wedding pics and recited love poems to each other.


My love, my sunshine, my bright morning star,my tolotolo.

Lol.

Marriage is sh!t hard work.

Not for babies.

Not for sissies.

And no, love doesn't exist. Not the way we practice it here anyway.

If you're reading this and you want to marry , Marry with sense. Not with love. Marry like you're taking an exam. Study your partner. Test them! Don't think it's old fashioned, do it.

Else at the end you will cry.

I don't want to be judgemental on your ordeal,all I can say is divorce/separation is not the solution.
From your narrations,your husband is proud,pompous and domineering and I strongly believe all these traits must have surfaced during your courtship but you thought you can cope.
My sister,you can not prove any point to a man that has good income, at worst he will get another woman and sting you further.
Please,if the insults/assaults are not life-threatening,please bring in your pastor or those who he respects alot for intervention.
If you quit and things go worst for you nko?
My sister, if not for any other thing consider the plight of your kids.
My advice
Whenever he starts his madness just trivialize everything and turn his negative energy to your positive energy.
Woman is the owner of the family, man is just the head and it is your responsibility to make your marriage work.

samguru:
I don't want to be judgemental on your ordeal,all I can say is divorce/separation is not the solution.
From your narrations,your husband is proud,pompous and domineering and I strongly believe all these traits must have surfaced during your courtship but you thought you can cope.
My sister,you can not prove any point to a man that has good income, at worst he will get another woman and sting you further.
Please,if the insults/assaults are not life-threatening,please bring in your pastor or those who he respects alot for intervention.
If you quit and things go worst for you nko?
My sister, if not for any other thing consider the plight of your kids.
My advice
[b]Whenever he starts his madness just trivialize everything and turn his negative energy to your positive energy.
Woman is the owner of the family, man is just the head and it is your responsibility to make your marriage wor[/b]k.

It is not the responsibility of a woman to make a marriage work because the woman did not marry herself, rather It is the couple's responsibilities to make their union work.
Men has been telling women this ridiculous bullcraps for aeons by neglecting their God-given responsibility and resting it solely on women.

I bet If this was a man complaining, you would have told him pointblank to send the wife away.





@Op, tell him you are taking a Christmas vacation.
Use the opportunity to finalize your plans.
Do not do anything hasty.
Use your vacation time to file for a separation and custody of the kids.
Get a nice good Love Machine and give your self series of orgasms first cos lack of a good old sex can becloud judgement and insight.

Please what kind of job do you do from home?
I want to learn.

Kindheartedd:
I opened a thread sometime ago about my husband's attitude.

I won't just go into details but all I need now is leave, leave him for good.

My plan is to totally leave the state we live now to a different state to start life all over with my kids. I work, I will make sure they have the best. I won't let my family know my whereabouts. Change my phone number and live a new life.

I do not want any one to link me up with him again. I hate him now. I have heard enough, enough of abuse. He's done more damage to me than good. His is proud and ungrateful.

He is owing me slot of money but I can let go.

I want to teach him a hard lesson by leaving with my kids before he return from work on Monday.

My advice to young ones especially God fearing ones, don't marry a man who is just a casual Christian, who answer on paper 'christanity' when asked which religion.

He never believed I can move forward, I struggled to raise my status by hard work n prayer, I went to a private uni, he even insulted my dad to my face that he waisted money on my for sending me to private uni, Haa, my ears twingled when he said it all because I was earning about 100k, he was earning way more than me and he'd never give me peace because he earnes more. Named me all sorts of names. I saved little n resigned since there was no hope of earning more money where I worked.

When I asked to open a joint account his response was my income was meant for eating not saving. And ridiculously told me to hide my face for trying to measure him to my standard. That we don't earn the same amount and we can't jointly run an account. For days, he shamed me with that.

I boldly took a decision to resign and I almost end it all but I was putting things in place to get the best in life no matter what. Alas, God helped me and now, I'm doing well and my monthly income is daily getting more than his. I painfully went for a trianing and have decided to get an office and employ more hands because I can no longer handle tasks alone due to work load and he is killing the dream.

I know him, he wants to frustrate me, he knows the sky is not my limit again even, but I want to teach him a lesson that in his next life he will never talk any human being down.

He is getting worst daily by being abusive, I won't know peace if so stay with him. Now he wants to do what I do, so jealous and unsecured.

I live in a recluse due to my work and I have an abusive man, if not for my belief on God maybe I would have taken my life since.

I was abused as a child, I think the best for me now is live alone. Human beings are not worth it, I hate relationships and marriage now, like it's all a scam. I just want to be alone with my innocent kids.

Am just weak, it's going to be a shame, my friendd n family won't like my decision but I want to send a message to this man. He must learn to respect me, called my brain fish brain,? My own father waisted money on me? I will surely break grounds to send him a message.

Am just in pain, am soo so so sad. Once I leave him I will be a celebate for life. I will never allow any man to make me experience abuse again. Never!!!

TheArchangel:

Get a nice good Love Machine and give your self series of orgasms first cos lack of a good old sex can becloud judgement and insight.

you want make person pikin (Christain for that matter) begin dey masturbate upandan.wush kine archangel u be like dis?

TheArchangel:
It is not the responsibility of a woman to make a marriage work because the woman did not marry herself, rather It is the couple's responsibilities to make their union work.
Men has been telling women this ridiculous bullcraps for aeons by neglecting their God-given responsibility and resting it solely on women.

I bet If this was a man complaining, you would have told him pointblank to send the wife away.





@Op, tell him you are taking a Christmas vacation.
Use the opportunity to finalize your plans.
Do not do anything hasty.
Use your vacation time to file for a separation and custody of the kids.
Get a nice good Love Machine and give your self series of orgasms first cos lack of a good old sex can becloud judgement and insight.

Madam are you a feminist?

If yes I rest my case

samguru:


Madam are you a feminist?

If yes I rest my case

What do you mean?
Did you see that word written anywhere near my write up? Mentioning feminism seems to assuage your lack of clever rebuttal.

ZiriMane:

you want make person pikin (Christain for that matter) begin dey masturbate upandan.wush kine archangel u be like dis?

Christian I have no idea what that means in Nigeria, all I know is that she needs sex with pure climateric orgasms for initial overhauling of her quest for vengeance . With all the things going on, she may not have had a glorious climax with her husband. I still reiterate that orgasms resets memory and improves insight whether aided by a pen!s, tongue or a v!brator.

Are you in Lagos?

Tune your Radio to Nigeria Info from 11pm - 4am (Monday night, Thursday night, Friday night).

Love and Life Lounge, put a call through, you will most definitely get help.

Please don't run away with the kids, go for Christmas holiday with your kids to your parents house, from there file for divorce. Follow due process. Be wise.

Please leave....life is too short to live in sorrow

Leave, run and never turn back

I was believing until the "celibate for life" part.... One thing I have noticed is that the most women go for "my type" instead of men that truly love them and I feel this is one of the major reasons for high rate of divorce......

daddytime:
Judging by your narrative above, I support your moving on if it'd help restore your sanity, save you from further abuses, and eventual death, because, e better make person no get husband or wife than to get the one wey go make am dey fear to go house everyday.

However, I'd advise you never to keep the kids away from their father. How you intend to achieve that? I do not know...

Please, do not make the kids the dupe of daddy and mummy's failed relationship.

Stay safe and strong.

As a married man, I won't judge based on her narrative alone. She could be the problem.
Hear both sides first.

cc: Kindheartedd

Are you also not greedy, why are you asking for joint account?

Your last paragraph gives the answer. Take care

hmmm...this marriage thingy is scary.
All I wanna ask is "did he start this his behaviour before/after marriage" or he had this traits before proposing and you ignored it? did u guys date at all?