₦airaland Forum

geraldinai:
I think I agree with you. Thanks for your contribution.

AfroKnight:
He did the right thing for the both of you.

A reticent partner is a whole package of frustration especially to someone who wants to be sure they are communicating well in a relationship.

The truth is you made communication a burden for him. I can imagine your chat threads on WhatsApp. He was not sure what you were thinking while you guys were in the relationship. He was walking in the dark and constantly at risk of assuming wrongly.

You don’t even communicate to yourself. I mean, look how long it took you to realise that the break up was final and that you pushed him away. 1 week! That guy tried.

You need someone who is cool with little communication. You should also learn to discuss and be on the same page with your partner instead of hiding under the excuse of introversion.

hushdaddy:
He probably must have met someone on the same social level with him.

AfroKnight:
He did the right thing for the both of you.

A reticent partner is a whole package of frustration especially to someone who wants to be sure they are communicating well in a relationship.

The truth is you made communication a burden for him. I can imagine your chat threads on WhatsApp. He was not sure what you were thinking while you guys were in the relationship. He was walking in the dark and constantly at risk of assuming wrongly.

You don’t even communicate to yourself. I mean, look how long it took you to realise that the break up was final and that you pushed him away. 1 week! That guy tried.

You need someone who is cool with little communication. You should also learn to discuss and be on the same page with your partner instead of hiding under the excuse of introversion.

urchcoded:
Except dat introversion is no excuse and cannot be fixed by extroversion. Introverts are introverts. She needs some guy dats either an introvert or an extrovert dat is really funny or fun to be with both online and offline.

taneez:
You can date an extrovert. Not an extreme one though. You also date an "introvert-extrovert.
But seriously the guy wasn't meant for you extrovert or not

Faysuze:
Mine is even worse, he told me he cannot prioritize a relationship right now and does not feel the need to talk every day. But he wants girlfriend benefits and always complaining about I how I don't communicate with him. How does that work? I just walked away, too trashy to deal with.

favoryte33:
He told u earlier on dat u guys aren't COMPARTIBLE. This is a trait of selfishness.i don't go about looking for compartibility coz true luv should embrasse our differences as long as we're ready 2 give up our ego.pls,do not go beg him.he doesn't deserve u

geraldinai:
Nairalanders, this is a long post but please read till the end.

My bf just broke up with me over what he termed incompatibility. This guy and I have been together for two years and we both loved each other. It was a long-distance relationship, he stays in Lagos while I schooled in another town in the west. I had no problem with the distance because I'm not the attention-craving type and I like my space.

He's a complete extrovert, while I'm an introvert(not to the extreme though) and this has been an issue most of the time. He complains that I'm too quiet and not on the same social level as him. I don't do social media like that while he's uploading new pictures every minute. I also didn't like the fact that he relates too well with girls; he had a lot of female friends and easily socializes with new ones. Well, I blended with that so well as I didn't see any trace of unfaithfulness in him.

Fast forward to late last year, there was a breakdown in our communication, he stopped calling and chatting as he used to, I asked him what the matter was but he said there's nothing. I was a bit scared if something went wrong with him and I asked again after some days, that was when he said he would tell me when the time comes, so I stopped asking. With all the signs he showed me, my mind was telling me he wanted a breakup but I didn't ask him further as I was preparing for my final exam and him breaking up with me that period would leave me devastated so I focused on my exam with the hope that after then, we would talk about it.

After my exam, I sent him a text apologizing and asked us to continue as we were but he didn't reply. He invited me over to his place and that was when he told me he's no longer interested in the relationship, that he has no feelings for me again. He gave one thousand and one reasons for us not to be together anymore. He said I'm less expressive, I agree with anything he says and does and that during the break in our communication, I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me, personally, I don't believe in forcing someone to love me.

I moved on well but after a week when I was alone and reflecting, the feeling of guilt overwhelmed me that I probably pushed him away with my seemingly “not too caring” attitude. I see myself with him and I never thought we could separate. I showed love and care in my how way and in the best way, I know-how. I did love him wholeheartedly and he knew it but he seemed unable to cope with my private/ less emotional lifestyle.
Nairalanders, did I actually push him away?

Jewessgratitude:
See...don't even start killing yourself over this matter cos the guy is not a responsible fellow which you know but tried to swallow.
Don't ever overlook or condone someone excesses. How can you, knowing full well that he flirts with girls at will, still want to keep him? Men don finish? Dump his retard ass. But he, could not condone your quiet and calm behavior, not that you flirt like him but he still called it off. He never really loved you dear. And doesn't have respect for you.

Dont just blame yourself for anything.
Move on and stay focused.
Nothing do you.

geraldinai:
Nairalanders, this is a long post but please read till the end.

My bf just broke up with me over what he termed incompatibility. This guy and I have been together for two years and we both loved each other. It was a long-distance relationship, he stays in Lagos while I schooled in another town in the west. I had no problem with the distance because I'm not the attention-craving type and I like my space.

He's a complete extrovert, while I'm an introvert(not to the extreme though) and this has been an issue most of the time. He complains that I'm too quiet and not on the same social level as him. I don't do social media like that while he's uploading new pictures every minute. I also didn't like the fact that he relates too well with girls; he had a lot of female friends and easily socializes with new ones. Well, I blended with that so well as I didn't see any trace of unfaithfulness in him.

Fast forward to late last year, there was a breakdown in our communication, he stopped calling and chatting as he used to, I asked him what the matter was but he said there's nothing. I was a bit scared if something went wrong with him and I asked again after some days, that was when he said he would tell me when the time comes, so I stopped asking. With all the signs he showed me, my mind was telling me he wanted a breakup but I didn't ask him further as I was preparing for my final exam and him breaking up with me that period would leave me devastated so I focused on my exam with the hope that after then, we would talk about it.

After my exam, I sent him a text apologizing and asked us to continue as we were but he didn't reply. He invited me over to his place and that was when he told me he's no longer interested in the relationship, that he has no feelings for me again. He gave one thousand and one reasons for us not to be together anymore. He said I'm less expressive, I agree with anything he says and does and that during the break in our communication, I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me, personally, I don't believe in forcing someone to love me.

I moved on well but after a week when I was alone and reflecting, the feeling of guilt overwhelmed me that I probably pushed him away with my seemingly “not too caring” attitude. I see myself with him and I never thought we could separate. I showed love and care in my how way and in the best way, I know-how. I did love him wholeheartedly and he knew it but he seemed unable to cope with my private/ less emotional lifestyle.
Nairalanders, did I actually push him away?

geraldinai:
Nairalanders, this is a long post but please read till the end.

My bf just broke up with me over what he termed incompatibility. This guy and I have been together for two years and we both loved each other. It was a long-distance relationship, he stays in Lagos while I schooled in another town in the west. I had no problem with the distance because I'm not the attention-craving type and I like my space.

He's a complete extrovert, while I'm an introvert(not to the extreme though) and this has been an issue most of the time. He complains that I'm too quiet and not on the same social level as him. I don't do social media like that while he's uploading new pictures every minute. I also didn't like the fact that he relates too well with girls; he had a lot of female friends and easily socializes with new ones. Well, I blended with that so well as I didn't see any trace of unfaithfulness in him.

Fast forward to late last year, there was a breakdown in our communication, he stopped calling and chatting as he used to, I asked him what the matter was but he said there's nothing. I was a bit scared if something went wrong with him and I asked again after some days, that was when he said he would tell me when the time comes, so I stopped asking. With all the signs he showed me, my mind was telling me he wanted a breakup but I didn't ask him further as I was preparing for my final exam and him breaking up with me that period would leave me devastated so I focused on my exam with the hope that after then, we would talk about it.

After my exam, I sent him a text apologizing and asked us to continue as we were but he didn't reply. He invited me over to his place and that was when he told me he's no longer interested in the relationship, that he has no feelings for me again. He gave one thousand and one reasons for us not to be together anymore. He said I'm less expressive, I agree with anything he says and does and that during the break in our communication, I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me, personally, I don't believe in forcing someone to love me.

I moved on well but after a week when I was alone and reflecting, the feeling of guilt overwhelmed me that I probably pushed him away with my seemingly “not too caring” attitude. I see myself with him and I never thought we could separate. I showed love and care in my how way and in the best way, I know-how. I did love him wholeheartedly and he knew it but he seemed unable to cope with my private/ less emotional lifestyle.
Nairalanders, did I actually push him away?

geraldinai:
I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me,

geraldinai:
Nairalanders, this is a long post but please read till the end.

My bf just broke up with me over what he termed incompatibility. This guy and I have been together for two years and we both loved each other. It was a long-distance relationship, he stays in Lagos while I schooled in another town in the west. I had no problem with the distance because I'm not the attention-craving type and I like my space.

He's a complete extrovert, while I'm an introvert(not to the extreme though) and this has been an issue most of the time. He complains that I'm too quiet and not on the same social level as him. I don't do social media like that while he's uploading new pictures every minute. I also didn't like the fact that he relates too well with girls; he had a lot of female friends and easily socializes with new ones. Well, I blended with that so well as I didn't see any trace of unfaithfulness in him.

Fast forward to late last year, there was a breakdown in our communication, he stopped calling and chatting as he used to, I asked him what the matter was but he said there's nothing. I was a bit scared if something went wrong with him and I asked again after some days, that was when he said he would tell me when the time comes, so I stopped asking. With all the signs he showed me, my mind was telling me he wanted a breakup but I didn't ask him further as I was preparing for my final exam and him breaking up with me that period would leave me devastated so I focused on my exam with the hope that after then, we would talk about it.

After my exam, I sent him a text apologizing and asked us to continue as we were but he didn't reply. He invited me over to his place and that was when he told me he's no longer interested in the relationship, that he has no feelings for me again. He gave one thousand and one reasons for us not to be together anymore. He said I'm less expressive, I agree with anything he says and does and that during the break in our communication, I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me, personally, I don't believe in forcing someone to love me.

I moved on well but after a week when I was alone and reflecting, the feeling of guilt overwhelmed me that I probably pushed him away with my seemingly “not too caring” attitude. I see myself with him and I never thought we could separate. I showed love and care in my how way and in the best way, I know-how. I did love him wholeheartedly and he knew it but he seemed unable to cope with my private/ less emotional lifestyle.
Nairalanders, did I actually push him away?

geraldinai:
Nairalanders, this is a long post but please read till the end.

My bf just broke up with me over what he termed incompatibility. This guy and I have been together for two years and we both loved each other. It was a long-distance relationship, he stays in Lagos while I schooled in another town in the west. I had no problem with the distance because I'm not the attention-craving type and I like my space.

He's a complete extrovert, while I'm an introvert(not to the extreme though) and this has been an issue most of the time. He complains that I'm too quiet and not on the same social level as him. I don't do social media like that while he's uploading new pictures every minute. I also didn't like the fact that he relates too well with girls; he had a lot of female friends and easily socializes with new ones. Well, I blended with that so well as I didn't see any trace of unfaithfulness in him.

Fast forward to late last year, there was a breakdown in our communication, he stopped calling and chatting as he used to, I asked him what the matter was but he said there's nothing. I was a bit scared if something went wrong with him and I asked again after some days, that was when he said he would tell me when the time comes, so I stopped asking. With all the signs he showed me, my mind was telling me he wanted a breakup but I didn't ask him further as I was preparing for my final exam and him breaking up with me that period would leave me devastated so I focused on my exam with the hope that after then, we would talk about it.

After my exam, I sent him a text apologizing and asked us to continue as we were but he didn't reply. He invited me over to his place and that was when he told me he's no longer interested in the relationship, that he has no feelings for me again. He gave one thousand and one reasons for us not to be together anymore. He said I'm less expressive, I agree with anything he says and does and that during the break in our communication, I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me, personally, I don't believe in forcing someone to love me.

I moved on well but after a week when I was alone and reflecting, the feeling of guilt overwhelmed me that I probably pushed him away with my seemingly “not too caring” attitude. I see myself with him and I never thought we could separate. I showed love and care in my how way and in the best way, I know-how. I did love him wholeheartedly and he knew it but he seemed unable to cope with my private/ less emotional lifestyle.
Nairalanders, did I actually push him away?

wizzynuru:
Lol.. And u posted tips on how to make a man happy last year December. Looks like u don't practice what u teach.

SmellingAnus:
1... It's either he has so many things to attend to that he doesn't like the idea of constant daily communication or

2. He is not into you... I mean he doesn't really love you... Let me share my personal experience... I had someone I am not into but I liked the fact that she loved me so I respected her and treated her nicely but I disliked daily communication with her... We may see twice at most in a month and we lived in the same city... Lol...

On the other hand... I had a sweet loving babe that I loved and she loved me too... She calls me many times daily... She tells me about the important and unimportant things that happened to her and I will just be happy to listen to her and contribute... I remember one day after listening to her for over an hour I was tired and she noticed it... She was displeased and she told me to learn to listen to her... This is someone I listened to for over an hour ... Lol... Needless to say that most of our free times we spent them together... Just pray to have a good person that you love that also loves you very well...

daben1:
The way you girls think self ehn, once you're in a relationship with an average Nigerian girl, it has automatically become your responsibility to be doing the calling while her own responsibility is to be at the receiving end... "He stopped calling as he used to"
Relationship should be a 50-50 stuff.
The relationship failed because of lack of communication: because your responsibility is to wait while he calls while you receive

Omar09:
First off, there's no such thing as true love. If there was, there won't be break up and divorces. Secondly, if you don't seek COMPATIBILITY, you will continue to be in a wrong relationship.

wizzynuru:
Lol.. And u posted tips on how to make a man happy last year December. Looks like u don't practice what u teach.

Octopusssy:
Don't you know that many people don't practice what they preach?