I like your use of English and word conjecture.
However, back to the matter, its not cool when you are less expressive and unable to keep up with the slightest of conversations, it'll make the relationship boring and unadventurous.
I belive by now you understand the weight of communication in a relationship especially when distance is involved. It's a lesson against your next relationship, you will do better

geraldinai:
Nairalanders, this is a long post but please read till the end.

My bf just broke up with me over what he termed incompatibility. This guy and I have been together for two years and we both loved each other. It was a long-distance relationship, he stays in Lagos while I schooled in another town in the west. I had no problem with the distance because I'm not the attention-craving type and I like my space.

He's a complete extrovert, while I'm an introvert(not to the extreme though) and this has been an issue most of the time. He complains that I'm too quiet and not on the same social level as him. I don't do social media like that while he's uploading new pictures every minute. I also didn't like the fact that he relates too well with girls; he had a lot of female friends and easily socializes with new ones. Well, I blended with that so well as I didn't see any trace of unfaithfulness in him.

Fast forward to late last year, there was a breakdown in our communication, he stopped calling and chatting as he used to, I asked him what the matter was but he said there's nothing. I was a bit scared if something went wrong with him and I asked again after some days, that was when he said he would tell me when the time comes, so I stopped asking. With all the signs he showed me, my mind was telling me he wanted a breakup but I didn't ask him further as I was preparing for my final exam and him breaking up with me that period would leave me devastated so I focused on my exam with the hope that after then, we would talk about it.

After my exam, I sent him a text apologizing and asked us to continue as we were but he didn't reply. He invited me over to his place and that was when he told me he's no longer interested in the relationship, that he has no feelings for me again. He gave one thousand and one reasons for us not to be together anymore. He said I'm less expressive, I agree with anything he says and does and that during the break in our communication, I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me, personally, I don't believe in forcing someone to love me.

I moved on well but after a week when I was alone and reflecting, the feeling of guilt overwhelmed me that I probably pushed him away with my seemingly “not too caring” attitude. I see myself with him and I never thought we could separate. I showed love and care in my how way and in the best way, I know-how. I did love him wholeheartedly and he knew it but he seemed unable to cope with my private/ less emotional lifestyle.
Nairalanders, did I actually push him away?

Breakups are painful, but from what I see, the guy couldn't flow with you, coupled with the distance. His extroverted nature is something you can't change, neither yours. Don't over analyse it, you'll get depressed.
Count your blessings and try to move on.
Introversion is a blessing and a curse depending on your mindset.

stubbornman:


I get your point but most ladies think the world will wait for them to love and get over it... Most relationship trust it's men doing 70% of the workout..... Ladies just sit there and wonder why he no longer calls often or takes her to the movies anymore etc.... When it gets boring for a guy it shows!!!

only 10% of guys will call a lady for a meeting and explain the reason for there break-up....the guy respects her..... that kinda guy is rare (we are just 5 in the world with one getting married this Saturday, I was hoping you would choose me before I get taken)

Happy married life but go and cheat no more, this one you are making excuses for cheats

Opeke next time try and summarize, na person dey date for 8 years before they eventually married, your own na just 2 yes, what is wrong with you?

geraldinai:
Nairalanders, this is a long post but please read till the end.

My bf just broke up with me over what he termed incompatibility. This guy and I have been together for two years and we both loved each other. It was a long-distance relationship, he stays in Lagos while I schooled in another town in the west. I had no problem with the distance because I'm not the attention-craving type and I like my space.

He's a complete extrovert, while I'm an introvert(not to the extreme though) and this has been an issue most of the time. He complains that I'm too quiet and not on the same social level as him. I don't do social media like that while he's uploading new pictures every minute. I also didn't like the fact that he relates too well with girls; he had a lot of female friends and easily socializes with new ones. Well, I blended with that so well as I didn't see any trace of unfaithfulness in him.

Fast forward to late last year, there was a breakdown in our communication, he stopped calling and chatting as he used to, I asked him what the matter was but he said there's nothing. I was a bit scared if something went wrong with him and I asked again after some days, that was when he said he would tell me when the time comes, so I stopped asking. With all the signs he showed me, my mind was telling me he wanted a breakup but I didn't ask him further as I was preparing for my final exam and him breaking up with me that period would leave me devastated so I focused on my exam with the hope that after then, we would talk about it.

After my exam, I sent him a text apologizing and asked us to continue as we were but he didn't reply. He invited me over to his place and that was when he told me he's no longer interested in the relationship, that he has no feelings for me again. He gave one thousand and one reasons for us not to be together anymore. He said I'm less expressive, I agree with anything he says and does and that during the break in our communication, I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me, personally, I don't believe in forcing someone to love me.

I moved on well but after a week when I was alone and reflecting, the feeling of guilt overwhelmed me that I probably pushed him away with my seemingly “not too caring” attitude. I see myself with him and I never thought we could separate. I showed love and care in my how way and in the best way, I know-how. I did love him wholeheartedly and he knew it but he seemed unable to cope with my private/ less emotional lifestyle.
Nairalanders, did I actually push him away?

From wat u wrote. He’s right u don’t suit him. I envisage u as being for a more matured man. U don’t suit all this small boys small brains guys. Nothing is wrong with u. Ure a rare bred. They should go and b d one that will end up going to public places to disgrace demselves cos they say their hubby is cheating

Nigaz hate bluntness

geraldinai:
Nairalanders, this is a long post but please read till the end.

My bf just broke up with me over what he termed incompatibility. This guy and I have been together for two years and we both loved each other. It was a long-distance relationship, he stays in Lagos while I schooled in another town in the west. I had no problem with the distance because I'm not the attention-craving type and I like my space.

He's a complete extrovert, while I'm an introvert(not to the extreme though) and this has been an issue most of the time. He complains that I'm too quiet and not on the same social level as him. I don't do social media like that while he's uploading new pictures every minute. I also didn't like the fact that he relates too well with girls; he had a lot of female friends and easily socializes with new ones. Well, I blended with that so well as I didn't see any trace of unfaithfulness in him.

Fast forward to late last year, there was a breakdown in our communication, he stopped calling and chatting as he used to, I asked him what the matter was but he said there's nothing. I was a bit scared if something went wrong with him and I asked again after some days, that was when he said he would tell me when the time comes, so I stopped asking. With all the signs he showed me, my mind was telling me he wanted a breakup but I didn't ask him further as I was preparing for my final exam and him breaking up with me that period would leave me devastated so I focused on my exam with the hope that after then, we would talk about it.

After my exam, I sent him a text apologizing and asked us to continue as we were but he didn't reply. He invited me over to his place and that was when he told me he's no longer interested in the relationship, that he has no feelings for me again. He gave one thousand and one reasons for us not to be together anymore. He said I'm less expressive, I agree with anything he says and does and that during the break in our communication, I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me, personally, I don't believe in forcing someone to love me.

I moved on well but after a week when I was alone and reflecting, the feeling of guilt overwhelmed me that I probably pushed him away with my seemingly “not too caring” attitude. I see myself with him and I never thought we could separate. I showed love and care in my how way and in the best way, I know-how. I did love him wholeheartedly and he knew it but he seemed unable to cope with my private/ less emotional lifestyle.
Nairalanders, did I actually push him away?

Well u can't change for a man...keep being yourself...
Your kinda man will find u....
Make e go meet social media girls dem

funkemary:
Don't feel guilty about a thing. Relationship is not one sided so if he really loved you he'd have help change you for the better or better still love you for you

destiny changer!! can u hear yourself?

stubbornman:


Shut the fvck and let others who has sensible things to say step forward....

The Op is selfish or did you not read the part where she said there was no trace of unfaithfulness in the guy even though he has many female friends, he is not gay so off course he should have female friends.... my problem you girls in this part of the world is that y'all are very very terrible at keeping up when it comes to relationship.... You wait for a man to call you, buy you gifts ,love you or even breathe for you while y'all just sit down like flower pots doing nothing...

That guy has a very very great courtesy and respect for inviting her over and explaining things to her rather than breaking up with her on the phone as I would have done even 6 months into the relationship.... You girls need to up your game in not just dating but every other relationships...your level of self entitlement and nonchalant attitude stinks to the Heavens!

Bro, wetin do you? Abeg o, carry as e dey pepper you for body waka go front. No be me cause you pain biko.

I'm at peace here. Dont vent your frustrations at me. Its too early in the year to be crying foul already. Inu?

HappenStone:
Your attitude is FINE!

Your BF is used to sweeping ladies off their feet with his personality, the fact that he doesn't have that effect on you deeply unsettled him.

that's not entirely true. Communication is a two way thing, if he doesn't call you like he used to, you call him.

geraldinai:
Nairalanders, this is a long post but please read till the end.

My bf just broke up with me over what he termed incompatibility. This guy and I have been together for two years and we both loved each other. It was a long-distance relationship, he stays in Lagos while I schooled in another town in the west. I had no problem with the distance because I'm not the attention-craving type and I like my space.

He's a complete extrovert, while I'm an introvert(not to the extreme though) and this has been an issue most of the time. He complains that I'm too quiet and not on the same social level as him. I don't do social media like that while he's uploading new pictures every minute. I also didn't like the fact that he relates too well with girls; he had a lot of female friends and easily socializes with new ones. Well, I blended with that so well as I didn't see any trace of unfaithfulness in him.

Fast forward to late last year, there was a breakdown in our communication, he stopped calling and chatting as he used to, I asked him what the matter was but he said there's nothing. I was a bit scared if something went wrong with him and I asked again after some days, that was when he said he would tell me when the time comes, so I stopped asking. With all the signs he showed me, my mind was telling me he wanted a breakup but I didn't ask him further as I was preparing for my final exam and him breaking up with me that period would leave me devastated so I focused on my exam with the hope that after then, we would talk about it.

After my exam, I sent him a text apologizing and asked us to continue as we were but he didn't reply. He invited me over to his place and that was when he told me he's no longer interested in the relationship, that he has no feelings for me again. He gave one thousand and one reasons for us not to be together anymore. He said I'm less expressive, I agree with anything he says and does and that during the break in our communication, I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me, personally, I don't believe in forcing someone to love me.

I moved on well but after a week when I was alone and reflecting, the feeling of guilt overwhelmed me that I probably pushed him away with my seemingly “not too caring” attitude. I see myself with him and I never thought we could separate. I showed love and care in my how way and in the best way, I know-how. I did love him wholeheartedly and he knew it but he seemed unable to cope with my private/ less emotional lifestyle.
Nairalanders, did I actually push him away?

I clearly relate with how you feel and I do not share the opinion that you pushed him away.

Be yourself always, you don't have to fake a lifestyle because you want to keep a man because you sure will struggle to keep up with it overtime.

Another man's food is a poison to someone else.

Allow me to shoot my shot, I'd go miles to get someone like you.

You will meet someone who will appreciate your kind of lifestyle and will fully embrace the inner peace dating someone like you will bring to the table.

Offpoint:

You type too much nonsense, are you from Egypt?

You sound just like your name.

Who introvert epp. Better wake up from ur slumber woman and cement ur self with 21st century life

Well, OP, you both identified the reason correctly. Incompatibility. It made communication very difficult.

It be came quite a frustrating chore for the guy.

Thank God no unplanned pregnancy leading to a "we have to now marry" situation. Many end up in unwanted marriages like that.

ikennamadu1:

Naa people like you dem dey beat for relationship... Your brain dey your elb0w

Lol...funnily enough, no man has ever raised his hand on me cos when they look into my beautiful eyes, they'll just melt and hug me tight with kisses e easy to beat fine girl? And guess what, I call off the relationships cos I can get them as easy as i want. You wanna try the power of a woman?
It pains me that most girls don't know that they worth more than rubis and saffire. Otherwise they won't be crying over hard bones and coconut heads like you.

Now if you'll excuse me. Iron bender.

From ur story two of U are not compatible. It will be tough now but with time U will heal from de hurt. Leave him and move on with ur life.

wizzynuru:
Lol.. And u posted tips on how to make a man happy last year December. Looks like u don't practice what u teach.

Have you ever seen a motivation speaker that works with what they preaches?

geraldinai:
Nairalanders, this is a long post but please read till the end.

My bf just broke up with me over what he termed incompatibility. This guy and I have been together for two years and we both loved each other. It was a long-distance relationship, he stays in Lagos while I schooled in another town in the west. I had no problem with the distance because I'm not the attention-craving type and I like my space.

He's a complete extrovert, while I'm an introvert(not to the extreme though) and this has been an issue most of the time. He complains that I'm too quiet and not on the same social level as him. I don't do social media like that while he's uploading new pictures every minute. I also didn't like the fact that he relates too well with girls; he had a lot of female friends and easily socializes with new ones. Well, I blended with that so well as I didn't see any trace of unfaithfulness in him.

Fast forward to late last year, there was a breakdown in our communication, he stopped calling and chatting as he used to, I asked him what the matter was but he said there's nothing. I was a bit scared if something went wrong with him and I asked again after some days, that was when he said he would tell me when the time comes, so I stopped asking. With all the signs he showed me, my mind was telling me he wanted a breakup but I didn't ask him further as I was preparing for my final exam and him breaking up with me that period would leave me devastated so I focused on my exam with the hope that after then, we would talk about it.

After my exam, I sent him a text apologizing and asked us to continue as we were but he didn't reply. He invited me over to his place and that was when he told me he's no longer interested in the relationship, that he has no feelings for me again. He gave one thousand and one reasons for us not to be together anymore. He said I'm less expressive, I agree with anything he says and does and that during the break in our communication, I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me, personally, I don't believe in forcing someone to love me.

I moved on well but after a week when I was alone and reflecting, the feeling of guilt overwhelmed me that I probably pushed him away with my seemingly “not too caring” attitude. I see myself with him and I never thought we could separate. I showed love and care in my how way and in the best way, I know-how. I did love him wholeheartedly and he knew it but he seemed unable to cope with my private/ less emotional lifestyle.
Nairalanders, did I actually push him away?

Two things a person should never beg for are "Love & Respect", if they don't come naturally, then it's not WORTH it. Just MOVE On, ya gonna find a better guy soon.

HappenStone:
Your attitude is FINE!

Your BF is used to sweeping ladies off their feet with his personality, the fact that he doesn't have that effect on you deeply unsettled him.

You said the obvious truth

Your signature is Pepperdem. Maybe you peppered him and he left.

Most of us who are modern guys are already mentally hard wired by our mothers who spoils us with attention and so much more. So the way to capture a guys heart very firmly is to just replicate the role of a good mother .

Actually i think there is a kind of break down in the society so every thing is mixed up. Fathers should endeavour to give their female children the attention they need if not they grow up into ladies expecting a guy to fill this void by been the one giving them attention alone while they fail to reciprocate because their minds was not programmed that way.

AfroKnight:
He did the right thing for the both of you.

A reticent partner is a whole package of frustration especially to someone who wants to be sure they are communicating well in a relationship.

The truth is you made communication a burden for him. I can imagine your chat threads on WhatsApp. He was not sure what you were thinking while you guys were in the relationship. He was walking in the dark and constantly at risk of assuming wrongly.

You don’t even communicate to yourself. I mean, look how long it took you to realise that the break up was final and that you pushed him away. 1 week! That guy tried.

You need someone who is cool with little communication. You should also learn to discuss and be on the same page with your partner instead of hiding under the excuse of introversion.

I don't even know why I opened this thread but I'm going through something similar now. I'm the more expressive one but I know also that things would work out (or not) depending on how willing I am to try.

These was a lady that wrote something on how to make ur man happy

No you didn't. He even told you he stopped having feelings for you. I'd suggest you chop liver and move on.

geraldinai:
Nairalanders, this is a long post but please read till the end.

My bf just broke up with me over what he termed incompatibility. This guy and I have been together for two years and we both loved each other. It was a long-distance relationship, he stays in Lagos while I schooled in another town in the west. I had no problem with the distance because I'm not the attention-craving type and I like my space.

He's a complete extrovert, while I'm an introvert(not to the extreme though) and this has been an issue most of the time. He complains that I'm too quiet and not on the same social level as him. I don't do social media like that while he's uploading new pictures every minute. I also didn't like the fact that he relates too well with girls; he had a lot of female friends and easily socializes with new ones. Well, I blended with that so well as I didn't see any trace of unfaithfulness in him.

Fast forward to late last year, there was a breakdown in our communication, he stopped calling and chatting as he used to, I asked him what the matter was but he said there's nothing. I was a bit scared if something went wrong with him and I asked again after some days, that was when he said he would tell me when the time comes, so I stopped asking. With all the signs he showed me, my mind was telling me he wanted a breakup but I didn't ask him further as I was preparing for my final exam and him breaking up with me that period would leave me devastated so I focused on my exam with the hope that after then, we would talk about it.

After my exam, I sent him a text apologizing and asked us to continue as we were but he didn't reply. He invited me over to his place and that was when he told me he's no longer interested in the relationship, that he has no feelings for me again. He gave one thousand and one reasons for us not to be together anymore. He said I'm less expressive, I agree with anything he says and does and that during the break in our communication, I didn't make efforts to find out why he did so and challenge him. Funnily enough, I didn't react when he told me, I just said it's all right as I envisaged it earlier. With the reasons he gave me, my heart was broken and felt there was no need to push further. He was surprised with how calm I was when he told me, personally, I don't believe in forcing someone to love me.

I moved on well but after a week when I was alone and reflecting, the feeling of guilt overwhelmed me that I probably pushed him away with my seemingly “not too caring” attitude. I see myself with him and I never thought we could separate. I showed love and care in my how way and in the best way, I know-how. I did love him wholeheartedly and he knew it but he seemed unable to cope with my private/ less emotional lifestyle.
Nairalanders, did I actually push him away?

Maybe he read all the numerous uncountable warnings of Nigerian guys on Nairaland and on every internet platform that guys who aren't students should never date a female student or take her serious. Because of the unseen things female students do with their fellow students; lodge mates, coursemates, street mates, etc even when they have a boyfrindy, fiance or husband who is not a student. This acts are discouraging more guys from dating students or taking them serious in a relationship because guys know that behind their back, at school, the girls are doing unimaginable things.


Internet is causing more trouble than we imagine nowadays!!!

Some of these write-ups have a way of making you dislike someone or develop suspicion.

Dating a female student in Nigeria when the guy is not a student himself is risky, unadvisable, suicide mission and a waste of time, money and emotion


So maybe your boyfriend realised its a waste of time dating a Nigerian female student as a non-student

Long distance is frustrating there's nothing you could have done dont beat yourself about it

Sorry geraldinai, do you have any particular reason for not being too inclined with social media?

Is it that it's just not your thing because you find it stressful or you prefer to concentrate on real things

djoe21:


It's so unfortunate that just November last year you were giving ladies tips on how to make their men happy. Did you not follow the tips?

Nairalanders, I doff my cap for una. This is called digging deep.

thorpido:
You are incompatible like he said.It is no fault of yours,it is just who you are.You're an introvert while he's an extrovert.

Don't ever make the mistake of dating an extrovert again.It will wear you out.You'll forever be dealing with trying to catch up while he's seeing you as inadequate.

Just because one is an introvert it doesn't mean they are dumb, quite and hollow.
This has nothing to do with being an introvert - far from it.

Boyfriend? Na because of boyfriend this one wan suffer depression. Wonders shall never end...

thorpido:
You are incompatible like he said.It is no fault of yours,it is just who you are.You're an introvert while he's an extrovert.

Don't ever make the mistake of dating an extrovert again.It will wear you out.You'll forever be dealing with trying to catch up while he's seeing you as inadequate.

geraldinai take this advice