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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup (58934 Views)
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Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by harry2sexy(m): 8:34pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Papanwamaikpe: Thanks man |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Nnemuka(f): 8:42pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Papanwamaikpe:I mean a good job |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by ferhyntorlah(f): 8:42pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Charleys: You are a wise man. GOD bless you with peace in your home as you gave another peace in their home while you were there. Iseeeeeee |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Papanwamaikpe: 8:43pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Nnemuka:Your definition of a good job |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by unekwu212: 8:46pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Madam this isn't a big issue. The only thing I find not called for is the fact that he drop the dishes anyhow he wants. Tell him to clean up when his don shikena |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by bukatyne(f): 8:59pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
pocohantas: I was not going to address the rightness of the OP's BIL going to the pot because of individual differences however I am amused at a lot of the answers. Growing up, I never entered people's pots except when: 1. I cooked the food 2. I am given express permission to serve myself. Whatever sha. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by bukatyne(f): 9:00pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
victorian: Same God who told men to leave their families and cleave to their wives? |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by NoToPile: 9:06pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
iliyande: Good for you, do you live in a self con with those 2 relatives?? Are you recently married? The dynamics are always different. You would have seen 'New couple ' in my posts. Inlaws should stop living with new couples,most times they are still trying to get on their feet financially and in other ways ( maybe by the time they are far older, they would be able to tolerate their excesses) it always leads to issues. I have never gone to my Sister in laws pot to dish food except given permission or I cooked the food, even as a lady. I dont support long term visits the technicalities are too much abeg, People are saying ordinary food, do we know their budget?? Food is not ordinary in NIgeria anymore. 2 Likes |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Studio247: 9:14pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Some inlaws are just impossible What I hate about some us they will see that their brother and the wife are managing one room but still they will want to stay Making the woman uncomfortable in the house and if she talk is problem. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by bukatyne(f): 9:15pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Charleys: Are you a Christian? That should have been my first point of discussion. It is Nigerian culture that a wife marries into a man's family. Scripturally, a man leaves his family and cleaves to his wife and they form one flesh.... The Bible also tells us to honor our parents so ideally, no parent is left hanging The new couple forming a new branch take care of their families as one represented either as the husband or wife. So, neither families (husband or wife) can claim it is their brother's house or sister's house. They respect the rules of the couple and not claim 'rights'. The couple in turn host them and make their stay comfortable. This also means there is no 'your sister is sick', 'your mother needs money' etc. There is also no 'we only send money to your mother' etc. The couple review the needs of their extended family together and attend to them in the order of priority irrespective of who it is. When the couple needs help, they also present a unified front to their family and request for help. One of the major reasons people want to drag their family individually is because they are afraid they would need them when either of the spouse misbehaves. 'oh! Suck up to your in-laws so that when your husband misbehaves or changes, you can have your in-laws' support'. How about we teach husbands and wives to be the best they can so that in-laws can take their rightful place at the back seat? If anyone is not interested in doing marriage the Christian way, don't bother with 'Church/White wedding'. Even in the vows, you state that you forsake all others etc. etc. The truth is that in-laws would relate with a spouse the way their child treats that spouse. Cc: victorian, Meeyankee. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Charleys: 9:30pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Uniquekriss: There's something I would have said to you now but if I say it. You'll always remember it till the day you die. So let me not say it for peace to reign. |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by victorian(f): 9:31pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
bukatyne: Leave families and cleave to wife, doesn't mean cut off completely from one's family forever and cleave to one's partner. Leave means to move out of from the family home and create a new family wit ones partner not outright cut off. Sighs I was once engaged 18years ago and my ex wanted just me and him all alone. He doesn't want my only brother or mom near his home but his own family can come visit and sleep over. I felt lost, I felt alone, his obsessive love was not enough to make me happy. I was very young back then. I felt he was very wicked trying to cut me off from my family. And that singular act with other things that followed broke us up. I can't cut off my mom and only brother, hell no. In fact it's unhealthy telling anyone who has close ties with their parents and siblings to cut off from them. Now my parents and sibling is no more. And It hurts. I envy people with moms and siblings. They don't know what the have around them, until they loose them to the hands of death. No need cutting off from your families, don't worry Death will take them away naturally from you. Just be patient and try to make use of any quality time u have to love and care for them. They will definitely leave one day through death. So women and men making all efforts to cut off their spouses from their parents and siblings. Relax, they will die one day. As most of y'all, don't want to see your parents again immediately y'all get married. Please be patient wit them. They will die one day and y'all will be free from their pestering and visits. Sighs, people sef If God ask me to mention only one thing I want in this life next, is God please bring back my lovely mother and brother. Bring them back to me, that's all I want in this life I miss them like mad. And some people are trying all their best to cut off and alienate themselves from their parents. Na wa o. 3 Likes |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by themanderon: 9:35pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
All these wahala ladies, you have entered and in less than 3 months you have started finding faults. Its your type that drives a huge wedge between a man and his family. I am sure if you know that young man will become Dangote tomorrow you will even offer him your kitchen to occupy. Leave the young man alone, he will not be with you forever, don't create enmity where there is none. Imagine also saying he doesn't greet you, if he doesn't greet you greet him first it doesn't take nothing from you. You are at a stage where you should be building bridges and getting to know you husband's family but here you are trying to burn bridges. Work on yourself Dammit. |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by bukatyne(f): 9:38pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
victorian: No where did I tell anyone to alienate or cut off themselves from their birth families. All parties should just realize that the spouse now comes 1st. If the spouse (husband /wife) is places first, every other thing would fall in place. |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by iliyande(m): 9:39pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
NoToPile: Tolerance ... Don't fight anyone because of food... |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by sholay2011(m): 9:52pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
victorian:The Lord is your strength. Touching post. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Nobody: 10:07pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
bukatyne:Which kind text book be this again? I leave you to ur believe because I have seen that you don’t want to learn. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by bukatyne(f): 10:11pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Meeyankee: Thank you. We do not speak the same language, how can we have a meeting point? My 'textbook' is for Christians. Not Nigerian Christians, not Christians by filling forms. Christians in the actual sense of it. |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by demarc001: 10:46pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Iwantpeace: Treat him like a your brother, talk to him but don't be in a rush about it. Let him know it is not about you but something he needs to learn for his good as a man. Don't attack him when he does it again instead just tease him about it, you can even give him a kitchen nick name (but make sure it doesn't sound offensive to him) that will make him dislike going there again. For now also try as much as possible to let him have enough food then slowly you start letting him to know that for the sake of his brother's progress there is need to save cost. By the way, I hope you are not the type who don't like in-laws being around. |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by pocohantas(f): 10:48pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
bukatyne: They are trying to form woke. It was actually the standard in lots of homes. 2 Likes |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by luckyslevin: 11:12pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
You see weytn “Feel at home” dey cause. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Nobody: 11:18pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
A grown man living in another grown man's married house. Chai this world don finish. Anyway broke people problem |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by NoToPile: 11:22pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
iliyande: You didnt answer my question naaw |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Sunrise258: 11:24pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
If I were your hubby and you reported my younger brother to me in that manner, first thing I would ask you is, "if he is your own brother, would you give him limitations in your kitchen"? With the look of things, u are a wife that would turn ur Hubby's back completely to his family when u are well rooted. U lack tolerance & marriage ain't for people like that! U said ur hubby had to beg u & u reluctantly agreed for his brother to stay in the house!!! Your hubby is somewhat soft. If me, I would tell you point black my brother would always have access to me. I just dunno what's wrong with women of nowadays. They only want their family around and hubby family are a burden to them. You don't even know if he will be the one to help your unborn children, his own nephews & nieces tomorrow. Better learn tolerance as a major course for you to see the joy of matrimony. Hubby failed to do anything about it because he was disappointed in you; he never imagined u could be policing his brother like that in his house. Yet he loves u dearly n wouldn't like to annoy u. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Nobody: 11:31pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
1StopRudeness:right |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by armyofone(m): 11:50pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
Same bros that will be managing concoction rice with palm oil going back for over feeding spree! Eh, see awful and free things good. Cook certain amount of food, everyone eats and you wash pot! Why do guests have to go back to the kitchen for food after eating is what i don't know. Some people are just troublesome. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Nellyblaq: 11:54pm On Feb 06, 2020 |
My dear,I understand your frustration.It can be really annoying. Some in-laws can break marriages if your are not careful. I advice you allow your husband put his brother into order.Remind your husband again calmly about the issue since he's yet to address it.Don't confront the boy directly,to avoid issues.You have to apply wisdom when dealing with in-laws. Be patient while you wait |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by TouchOfSpice(m): 12:16am On Feb 07, 2020 |
1StopRudeness: I like your sense of reasoning. You just spoke my mimd. I owe you one chilled Bottle water. lol I pray God elevate us all to the point where we won't get angry over unnecessary/material things anymore. A time will come in one's life that when God bless you to a certain level, you begin to see things in a better and clearer perspective. We will all get there...... (Amen). |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by grandstar(m): 12:26am On Feb 07, 2020 |
1StopRudeness: I am a man o! There is nothing like treating a human being as a doormat. Imagine you're eating an English breakfast of egg and bacon The chicken that gives you the egg is said to be merely involved in your breakfast while the pig is said to be fully committed to it. In the marriage, the brother in law is merely involved, the brother's wife on the other is fully committed to it. The only people who should feel entitled are the husband and wife to each other. When you feel you are entitled to nothing, that is when you are entitled. When you feel you are entitled, then you are entitled to nothing. If the brother-in-law comes around and dashes N1,000 raw meat regularly to the pot and does not touch it when he is hungry but says he is waiting for her to come back and dish the food, will she not shout and say, ''My husband, you don't have to wait for me. You don't have to wait for your wife o! No vex me there! You know where the spoon is. Next time, just go and take it yourself''. Your duty is to make sure your brother or sister's marriage succeed. Everything else is immaterial. That is how I treat all my sibling's marriages. Their husband's or their wives are now their number 1 and I draw the line and know my boundary. They, in turn, give me extraordinary respect. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by adontcare(f): 12:48am On Feb 07, 2020 |
Iwantpeace:madam u a r new in marriage. Do not get angry because of his attitudes. Ur hubby will never see anything wrong with his bro attittudes. Throway face. When u r hungry and no food, kindly ask oga for money. If he give u money for foodstuffs that will last 1 week but finished 2 days, ask again. Just keep asking. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by ezugegere(m): 12:49am On Feb 07, 2020 |
Women and their wahala... Imagine "my pot of food"..... "My kitchen".... And my wife always want everyone to go dish their food by themselves. She would say, "I don't know the quantity you want..." |
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by adontcare(f): 1:19am On Feb 07, 2020 |
ezugegere:where i grew up, food were dished out and we go to pick. But as i got married, oga mum brought 5 of his siblings to live with us. That since he is in portharcourt, then he is rich.Each with their character. I was just 22 yrs old. If i dish out food, they wll complain that its small, i started adding, they complained its too much, so left the pot for them, they still complained that i ate the good part. So i allowed them eat first. Oga started complaining about his pocket. Someone earning 30k monthly. Living in self contain with 5 siblings. I was just watching d drama from a distance. When d going get tough, they no tell man say na only tough can get going. Na only him reset the rules. Left for me, let her allow d guy eat to his full 1 Like |
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