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My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup - Family (15) - Nairaland

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Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by lozanni(m): 4:10pm On Feb 06, 2020
sassysure:


Majority are not.
This kitchen,bedroom stuffs are new to me, thanks to this forum.

What are u hiding in that bedroom that people won't enter?

When u are free with somebody, u express it.
(I would have screamed if the bro is displaying some unguarded manners and speech)
The lady in question isn't free with her brother in law.

What annoyed me was that she was faking it so she will be accepted into their house.
Now,she is now part of them, her true colour is surfacing.

U don't like something, express your displeasure and proffer an alternative.


Are you a married woman?

1 Like

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by mrLj(m): 4:12pm On Feb 06, 2020
I'm sorry dear, but this is one of the benefits of marrying an African man��.
just make sure to cook extra and allow the young naive man. with time, he will grow up and have sense and you will be grateful you didn't put up a fight with him.

boys will surely grow up to be a man.
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Fa44me: 4:14pm On Feb 06, 2020
Hummmmm, just as some has said, call a spade a spade is better. I could see some have given out what they can't tolerate. For a brother in-law after being served his to go kitchen and opening pot is irritating. Also serving himself with or without the knowledge of his brother's wife show he doesn't respect himself and his brother's wife except there's a genuine reason for that. At times, the husband and his wife may agree to manage the soup at home and they get home the brother in-law has finished everything. That shows he doesn't have manner at all. He will make the kitchen his best room when he gets married. Respect is reciprocal, doing all of that means he has no respect for himself, his brother and his brother's wife. When the family have children, they will not respect him. Jokes apart. As for Op, call him and tell him that you don't like it in love and don't report him to your husband. Keeping telling him if he doesn't want to. With time he will change. God bless your family and all nairalanders.
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Princesscutes1(f): 4:16pm On Feb 06, 2020
me that don't like dish food for people, I like serve yourself....... sorry I feel your pain
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Toplexy675(m): 4:16pm On Feb 06, 2020
immediately i saw i created a new account i realised i was discouraged to read only to later discover i v d video the 2nd one to grace f.p today. it is becoming a tradition.
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by iliyande(m): 4:24pm On Feb 06, 2020
NoToPile:
How hard is it for inlaws to avoid extended visits to a new couple.

Everybody should stay in their parents house.

In Africa, we are used to each other.... We don't run away from our relations. Relocate to obodo ibo where even when one dies no one knows... Here our relatives are so important to us...
Two of my relatives are presently with me and I sponsor them and my wife is not complaining about it
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Dididrumz(m): 4:26pm On Feb 06, 2020
crackkhaus:

You want him to send his brother away so that you can be happy?

What sort of a stupid question is that?
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Iwantpeace: 4:31pm On Feb 06, 2020
mrLj:
I'm sorry dear, but this is one of the benefits of marrying an African man��.
just make sure to cook extra and allow the young naive man. with time, he will grow up and have sense and you will be grateful you didn't put up a fight with him.

boys will surely grow up to be a man.

thank you very much.I have read all through the comments here and for the first time I admire the courage of celebrities for how they have been able to survive online trolls, fake stories and all that. my God see the many condescending comments!! A lady like me was even accusing me of faking my accomodating nature just to get the ring on my finger. i wish there is something i could swear wit online to affirm my truth. i know many times i have even told my husband himself before we got married that i dnt like him going to my pot of soup, we laughed over it b guess what he stopped to some extent. my mistake of which i fully take responsibility for is that i didnt say this to my BIL then prolly because we are not 'YET' close just like some persons pointed out.God knows I didn't open this thread to seek validation or to paint my BIL bad. I will just try to talk to him respectfully whenever he goes wrong especially the aspect of 'BADGING' Into our room without knocking. once again thank u

2 Likes

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Amhappy(f): 4:35pm On Feb 06, 2020
Iwantpeace:

like I said before I spent the yuletide season in their family house and never will he do that. i m very positive about that . how comes he is doing this now??

Then talk to him. Reporting ends two ways;your husband will ignore you or the men will quarrel.
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by beazie(m): 4:36pm On Feb 06, 2020
I don't go to a home I can't access the pots biko.. the more reason I hardly visit relatives then
. . man must wag.
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by sholay2011(m): 4:38pm On Feb 06, 2020
itsMrIke:


Dear OP, I hope you get to read this.

What you have described is not a problem. The problem is YOU.

You did mention that your BIL lived with his brother, before he married you, so you have to understand that he is used to dishing his own food whenever he is hungry. Do note that the only thoughts in young boys minds are food and girls.

He is living in your home, but you want him to feel like a stranger? Dips his hand in your pot? Don't be ridiculous, the food was cooked for everyone in the house, so how is it your pot? Is the young man not a member of the household at the moment?

What you want is to have control. I don't understand why women do that when they get married. Outright control will backfire in this case.

If you don't like the idea of him dishing his own food, then tell him, not Nairaland. It is fine. Just let him know he can ask you anytime he wants to eat. And remember you can complain that he is disturbing you. And since you know he likes to eat at night, you can also dish out some food in a container and inform him to eat that if he wants some food later.

Leave the bot to enjoy his holiday and allow your husband o rest. Believe you have more problems in front to deal with, stop creating silly ones for yourself.
Well said sir.
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Suremikky(m): 4:45pm On Feb 06, 2020
1StopRudeness:
Mehn these are shallow, infinitesimal issues I personally feel if u ain’t the the classic “me and my husband alone kinda woman” this isn’t worth loosing ur peace over let alone creating a thread to rant

He went to the kitchen he ddnt tell me, ordinary food, did he eat everything and not leave any for u and ur husband??

he put the spoon somehow, the spoon is bend, it’s broken..... Spoon... as in ordinary 100naira spoon!!!

He wants me to greet him first..did he say so??...oh please! This is the lamest one...
what’s the big deal about saying hello and chatting when u see a person.

see, don’t get me wrong, I know we have different tolerance and organizing style as humans...and sometimes it sort of bothers some people more than normal when outsiders invade their space.....but these issues are so unimportant people will just say u are not accommodating at the end of the day.....

Madam let it go....a little accommodating spirit will make the issues u raised unimportant to you

Unless it’s really not about the spoons and pot of soup...if it’s probably because the guy isn’t allowing u moan as loud as u want or feel free in ur house with short skimpy clothes...just tell ur husband... I trust my guy.......

Period
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Alexisdgreatest(m): 4:48pm On Feb 06, 2020
1StopRudeness:


Dammnn ...u sound mean....it’s just food, spoon and greeting issue.... and u sounding like u are about to release a nuclear warhead on the in-law

we tire

1 Like

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Suremikky(m): 4:54pm On Feb 06, 2020
Hmmm..make God no allow person marry wife wey go beef my family because of ordinary food.
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by mandate12: 4:55pm On Feb 06, 2020
1StopRudeness:
Mehn these are shallow, infinitesimal issues I personally feel if u ain’t the the classic “me and my husband alone kinda woman” this isn’t worth loosing ur peace over let alone creating a thread to rant

He went to the kitchen he ddnt tell me, ordinary food, did he eat everything and not leave any for u and ur husband??

he put the spoon somehow, the spoon is bend, it’s broken..... Spoon... as in ordinary 100naira spoon!!!

He wants me to greet him first..did he say so??...oh please! This is the lamest one...
what’s the big deal about saying hello and chatting when u see a person.

see, don’t get me wrong, I know we have different tolerance and organizing style as humans...and sometimes it sort of bothers some people more than normal when outsiders invade their space.....but these issues are so unimportant people will just say u are not accommodating at the end of the day.....

Madam let it go....a little accommodating spirit will make the issues u raised unimportant to you

Unless it’s really not about the spoons and pot of soup...if it’s probably because the guy isn’t allowing u moan as loud as u want or feel free in ur house with short skimpy clothes...just tell ur husband... I trust my guy.......

Smart response . I honestly hate addressing these kinda petty issues.
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by sholay2011(m): 4:58pm On Feb 06, 2020
I think some people are getting a part of the story wrong. The younger brother did not come visiting, he is LIVING with them. While this may not be the best arrangement for a new couple (I blame the husband), how can this woman expect someone LIVING with you (your BIL for that matter) to take permission every time he wants to eat? Jesus!

OP should just ask herself in all honesty if this was her younger brother, would she have the same reaction? Your husband's family is now yours as well. Don't just pick the part that says both of you are one. Madam should exercise more tolerance and ask God for grace to overlook minor things. Tables turn in this life and you do not know if this pot-dipping brother-in-law may be your saving grace in the future.

Be wise.

2 Likes

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by mandate12: 5:05pm On Feb 06, 2020
Iwantpeace:

no pls it's not all about that! do u know when I am not around this guy does whatever he likes at home.finish everything he sees. I just came back from the market now to look for what to cook later in the afternoon. I perceived smoke in the whole house, this guy has fried yam n ate all of it, washed the plate and left the others the way I saw it. as in from 8am -12pm he has eaten 2times not even minding if I have eaten once or not. haba!!

Eating twice from 8-12.. hmmmm not that bad�. Don't u know u get more hungry with boredom? Perhaps u should get him a job.
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Nobody: 5:17pm On Feb 06, 2020
cococandy:
I feel like you’re not understanding where I’m coming from. if the person is visiting for a day or two. Then, It’s not out of place to ask.

But if they are living with you (which is what a prolonged visit is) will they ask for permission for breakfast, lunch and dinner for everyday they live with you? Think about it.

Being inconsiderate is a totally different conversation. Like if they eat everything without thinking of others. That’s different.

But if they eat like a normal person would, bearing in mind that they are living in the house with others, there’s nothing disrespectful about it in my opinion.

I totally disagree on this food issue, no matter what, unless the owner of the kitchen says " You are free to dish out food after she is done, it's extremely rude & disrespectful to do so"

Infact when I was with my own parents, I always ask my mom first before I go to d kitchen to dish out food. unless d food was brought to the dining room where everyone is free to feed himself.
And when I stayed with my bros, I NEVER went to his section of the building unless absolutely necessary. I can't even tell you what d sitting room looks like, talkless of kitchen. I just go early morning greet her from d door of thier apartment. Then enter my car & leave for work. The woman fears me, but seriously I have nothing against her, I naturally just don't like people disturbing my life since I don't disturb thiers
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by petuniaevents(f): 5:18pm On Feb 06, 2020
Smh
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Suremikky(m): 5:20pm On Feb 06, 2020
Poverty can bring about unnecessary problems sometime. Supposing the house is a mansion where everyone can be in their own corners plus enough food I'm sure all these little little issues will not come up.
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by BRATISLAVA: 5:28pm On Feb 06, 2020
Iwantpeace:

no pls it's not all about that! do u know when I am not around this guy does whatever he likes at home.finish everything he sees. I just came back from the market now to look for what to cook later in the afternoon. I perceived smoke in the whole house, this guy has fried yam n ate all of it, washed the plate and left the others the way I saw it. as in from 8am -12pm he has eaten 2times not even minding if I have eaten once or not. haba!!

Why don't you wash your dishes yourself? Because he's there doesn't mean you and your husband cannot do anything anymore. If you want him to cook, ask him to in a friendly way.
It would not harm you to tell him not to fry your yams, since you don't want him eating anything in your house. Were there so many yams or was that the last end of the yam that two people couldn't eat that you say he finished all of it? Sometimes people blow things out of proportion. You want him to care if you have eaten? Is he your husband? Wouldn't he be stepping out of line?
Tell us the good things he does, because you painted him a demon who finishes all your food. Just say you want privacy. Don't act like he's some evil meat thief.

1 Like

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by seunfly: 5:29pm On Feb 06, 2020
Shallypop:
It's not about being tolerant but showing a sense of responsibility. How can a man dip his hand into his brother's wife cooking pot. When I'm pregnant, my hubby cooks at times but tell me to dish it cos he can put his hand in d pot.If it was a SIL, I could tolerate but a man, tufiaka. Let's call a spade a spade, It is all shades of wrong. Some soup get sour if different hands gets into it. Eg Egusi soup. @ OP, just be patient cos I know u are very upset in order no to overreact. Inlaw wahala can actually break a marriage. If u love your marriage, just tolerate him for the time being.

@ Iwantpeace
"Dips hand" made me conclude that the woman is not tolerant and she is looking for any excuse to paint the brother in law bad. Her headline says dips hand but her write up says damaged my spoon. She is just the kind of my hubby, my thing, my property type. Abeg what is big deal about kitchen that she shouting my kitchen, my food, my pot. Some people can really give themselve headache over nothing. In our house, you dish yourself with dignity and satisfaction, provided you are not wasteful and over reaching.

This is one of the reasons family have issues with wife and she did not know she caused it. What the guy has been doing before her husband met her, probably they v been doing it since childhood, just because u married him 3months ago, you suddenly wants to stop it. Why don't u stop it when you were dating so that the brothers will know the kind of woman she is and her husband will decide if he can cope with her.

1 Like

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Elkash01(m): 5:33pm On Feb 06, 2020
You just said the whole truth and nothing but the truth. You are a real niggar..

1StopRudeness:
Mehn these are shallow, infinitesimal issues I personally feel if u ain’t the the classic “me and my husband alone kinda woman” this isn’t worth loosing ur peace over let alone creating a thread to rant

He went to the kitchen he ddnt tell me, ordinary food, did he eat everything and not leave any for u and ur husband??

he put the spoon somehow, the spoon is bend, it’s broken..... Spoon... as in ordinary 100naira spoon!!!

He wants me to greet him first..did he say so??...oh please! This is the lamest one...
what’s the big deal about saying hello and chatting when u see a person.

see, don’t get me wrong, I know we have different tolerance and organizing style as humans...and sometimes it sort of bothers some people more than normal when outsiders invade their space.....but these issues are so unimportant people will just say u are not accommodating at the end of the day.....

Madam let it go....a little accommodating spirit will make the issues u raised unimportant to you

Unless it’s really not about the spoons and pot of soup...if it’s probably because the guy isn’t allowing u moan as loud as u want or feel free in ur house with short skimpy clothes...just tell ur husband... I trust my guy.......
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Exodora: 5:39pm On Feb 06, 2020
1StopRudeness:
Mehn these are shallow, infinitesimal issues I personally feel if u ain’t the the classic “me and my husband alone kinda woman” this isn’t worth loosing ur peace over let alone creating a thread to rant

He went to the kitchen he ddnt tell me, ordinary food, did he eat everything and not leave any for u and ur husband??

he put the spoon somehow, the spoon is bend, it’s broken..... Spoon... as in ordinary 100naira spoon!!!

He wants me to greet him first..did he say so??...oh please! This is the lamest one...
what’s the big deal about saying hello and chatting when u see a person.

see, don’t get me wrong, I know we have different tolerance and organizing style as humans...and sometimes it sort of bothers some people more than normal when outsiders invade their space.....but these issues are so unimportant people will just say u are not accommodating at the end of the day.....

Madam let it go....a little accommodating spirit will make the issues u raised unimportant to you

Unless it’s really not about the spoons and pot of soup...if it’s probably because the guy isn’t allowing u moan as loud as u want or feel free in ur house with short skimpy clothes...just tell ur husband... I trust my guy.......
There is no difference between you and the person in this picture that is why you see nothing wrong in what he did.
God knows I won't tollerent rubbish from any one be it my brothers or anybody .
My brothers do that with my mum but when am around they respect theirselves .
This means they lack home training.

1 Like

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Nobody: 5:42pm On Feb 06, 2020
pocohantas:


I like Naija men with this mentality, very sweet to deal with. A woman that cooks the meal you eat everyday- you open your mouth and tell her she can be divorced anytime.

I will be mixing a lethal drug in your food every single day. Till your kidney packs up. Send you back to that your family for caregiving. Nonsense.




You alway think you av these "evil treats" monopoly ... may life bring you to my kinds wink

2 Likes

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Lexicon123: 5:47pm On Feb 06, 2020
Homeboiy:
Just tell us say the guy presence no de let u waka naked for house.

Food ah, God bless my mother, she hardly serve relatives food herself, she will tel u to go and dish the one u can finish ,.
Exactly. I would rather be more comfortable the guy goes serve himself than my wife always having to serve him when she's not a maid, and when the brother in law is not the husband.

Like someone said, kini big deal?!

2 Likes

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Exodora: 5:49pm On Feb 06, 2020
Foodqueen:
What this
U tolerated it during courtship and it becomes a norm when u married his brother.

U are one of those people that don't like husband relative. Madam, be more tolerance. At one time or the other I av my bro and sister in-law live with me though separate times.
I respect them alot and at the same time send them errand I will send my younger ones... All u have to do is just apply wisdom. They are no longer with me but the respect we av for each other is topnotch.

He won't be with you forever. So chillax.
Even at that he still need to take precautions. I hate guys that goes to the pot especially when a woman is in the house
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Exodora: 5:51pm On Feb 06, 2020
caz01:



God bless you for this write up. You've said it all.

Madam calm down, learn to overlook things. He will someday find his way out of your home.
He will find his way out of the house and tries it else where.Guuussssh I feel I like slapping somebody already!!!!!

1 Like

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by seunfly: 5:51pm On Feb 06, 2020
Ginaz:


I stayed good 6 months at a friend’s family house. I never went to the pot to serve without first asking, sometimes I would wait for my friend to indicate interest to eat and we go together to serve our meal. That is respect. Humans are very funny , you think they don’t notice everything but they do.

I don’t want a situation I go and serve at anytime I want then it would bring talks of me feeling too much at home to the extent I serve food “anyhow” or she likes “eating too much ,” na only food she dey go pot go serve”.

There are boundaries and I try my best to follow them in everything I do. So far you are under someone’s roof, so far you are not the one making important decisions in the house ... kindly respect everything that has to do with the owner of the house.

It shows respect and it’s no way demeaning at all to ask for permission to serve. If it is so demeaning then start brining in money for cooking so you can serve as you want .

Don’t go and serve with reckless abandon a food you don’t bring a kobo for. Show some respect and coordination.

That is friends family not your direct brother or sister.
Remember they have been brothers for 20something years and are used to doing this all the time, the op even said he used to do it even when they were courting which means that is how they v living. If she refused to change it because she does not want to look bad why complain now especially less than 4 months of marriage. You need to know that the brother in law still sees the place has his house and doest need any permission to eat in his brother's house.
I thank God for the kind of wife I have, she is not petty human being that ordinary food is issue in the house. Jesus!!!! Can't believe people like this still exist, it must be poverty mentality.
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Exodora: 5:53pm On Feb 06, 2020
Homeboiy:
Just tell us say the guy presence no de let u waka naked for house.

Food ah, God bless my mother, she hardly serve relatives food herself, she will tel u to go and dish the one u can finish ,.
Is only boys that tries this shit you just said , matured men will rather go out and have there full. You need to grow up boy!!!!
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Exodora: 5:56pm On Feb 06, 2020
Iwantpeace:

like I said before I spent the yuletide season in their family house and never will he do that. i m very positive about that . how comes he is doing this now??
He does not like you and he is probably looking for a way to spring up issues between you and your partner .I advice you be careful with the way you deal with nincompoops like this.
Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Nobody: 5:57pm On Feb 06, 2020
Exodora:
There is no difference between you and the person in this picture that is why you see nothing wrong in what he did.
God knows I won't tollerent rubbish from any one be it my brothers or anybody .
My brothers do that with my mum but when am around they respect theirselves .
This means they lack home training.



so because I submitted my opinion that this wife shouldn’t lose her peace because of an unimportant issue like who’s greeting who first, spoon and food makes me the same with the brother inlaw....?? You are drama queen...if u will drag with ur own inlaw over this kinda issue that’s ur cup of tea....they are too little for me to loose my own peace...
I have younger ones.. .if they do this it won’t bug me...so if my inlaw does the same kíní big deal?? The problem with people like u don’t see ur in laws as family...there presence creeps the hell out of u that’s why food and spoon and greeting is a level red matter to you

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