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Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. - Family (17) - Nairaland

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Why I Won't Allow My Brother To Bring His Wife Abroad- Nigerian Lady, Arike(vid) / Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice / Should I Allow My Mum To Visit Us (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by majestique(f): 2:04pm On Feb 07, 2020
youwanbanme:





Its understandable if a man is tided to his family like apron blood is thicker , buh when he is tided to his wife apron ... then such males aint fit to be a father cos they produce losers.
Madam marriage is not a war or power tussle nor contest of ownership, when ur children grow n another woman keep ur son @ distance from you then you wil weep n rmember these day.

do you even understand the topic?
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Nobody: 2:04pm On Feb 07, 2020
safarigirl:
having family around depends on who you marry

Some of you seem to be speaking generally, when you should be speaking individually. Each individual is different and while compromise is good, you should not go out of your way to make your spouse uncomfortable in their own home, or what is the point of the marriage?

Some people actually do not like company. Some people grew up as an only child, they are not used to company or family being around. So, having half of your ten family members living with you, would be an inconvenience.

Some people have trust issues. Perhaps they were molested as kids by a family member, and are wary of family. Do you think they will be comfortable having your family members around, and thinking of their child being safe with one uncle? Bear in mind, you cannot vouch for anybody.

What is the size of your house? Having an extra person or more, is more people, more load, less privacy

Have you thought of that?

You cite CR7 that lives in a mansion, his mother can probably be in the house and you won't notice, can you compare that to living in a 2-bedroom house?

Each couple is different, each person is different and you need to consider that difference when making such decisions.

Funny enough, growing up, my mother's family lived with us. At aome point, my aunt, her husband and kid even lived with us, but I don't think I can live with so many people now. Of course, I like company, I can't stay in a house alone, so, one sibling around occasionally, would be nice, but that's me. Whoever you end up with may be different.

So, go for a character that can at least meet you halfway on that. Not that you will go and marry a recluse and start putting your foot down for her later, so that someone will come and demonize her on the internet.

Many are just misunderstood, it is not that they are evil.
Despite the Mansion, Irina Shayk still don't want to see Cristiano mum around!!

That is her mentality and I don't see anything right about it...

It is immaturity to think like that!!

I like Cristiano classic response tho!!! cool



Safari, let's marry na tongue... At least, we have one thing in common

Family is everything! grin
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by AmTruth: 2:09pm On Feb 07, 2020
You are right, but this is in most cases an exception. And our concerns is on the general considerations not exceptions.
ImaIma1:


And you guys are here back lashing women cheesy. Just see what you wrote...this is exactly the issue that causes the issues between wives and mums-inlaw. Someone coming to run your house.

Amtruth
Bigiyaro
youwanbanme

Can you guys see that it's not peculiar to women. See your fellow man
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by safarigirl(f): 2:10pm On Feb 07, 2020
youwanbanme:





Its understandable if a man is tided to his family like apron blood is thicker , buh when he is tided to his wife apron ... then such males aint fit to be a father cos they produce losers.
Madam marriage is not a war or power tussle nor contest of ownership, when ur children grow n another woman keep ur son @ distance from you then you wil weep n rmember these day.
I have never seen a man tied to his family's apron, whose kids like him.

The greatest mistake a man can make, is to put his wife's decisions behind that of his family. You will end up old and alone, because your children will think you wicked and insensitive

3 Likes

Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Triniti(m): 2:11pm On Feb 07, 2020
ImaIma1:


Being wealthy doesn't mean you condone bad manners. You cannot just got to someone's kitchen and take food from the pot. There are silent codes of conduct in some situations. A brother that does that doesn't respect his brother's wife.
A kitchen is place where you cook food, an intelligent woman would never lay claim to it. This is what women in the olden days used to do, you don’t expect someone that live in the same house with you to take permission whenever he/she wants to eat?
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by safarigirl(f): 2:14pm On Feb 07, 2020
AmTruth:
You are right, but this is in most cases an exception. And our concerns is on the general considerations not exceptions.
it is an exception, because fathers never come to live with a couple.

It is always mothers getting in everyone's business. How many times do you see a man carrying bag to go and live with his married daughter or son?

It is women who never understand the concept of space or privacy, and trust me, the MIL v. DIL battles will never end. The mothers today, did it with theirs when they were newlyweds, because women are generally a jealous and greedy bunch in whatever form they come. Women of all ages, will always compete for men's attention, be it as a wife or as a mother or even sister.

That Is women for you.

2 Likes

Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by centboy123456(m): 2:16pm On Feb 07, 2020
wizdomnzube:
So naw if I use my own money marry wife finish, use my money rent houz, use my money dey feed d wife, and my own momsy or siblings one con stay with ha lovely son/bro, my wife go begin give attitude?? Omo na one na once she go reach gate with ha bags for ha behind. Una dey wyn me ni? If any woman wan enjoy me wella, mk she do proper for where ma family dey. Life nor hard, na we make am hard!


abi na my brother no be lie u talk
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Theophinio(m): 2:16pm On Feb 07, 2020
Waterview:
Stick to anything related to asslicking CR7 but not intelligent discussions like this.

Although you're entitled to your own opinion but I'll still have to tackle you on this........

I see no reason why my lovely extended family (my sweet mum, lovely siblings and most importantly my Grandma) shouldn't stay with me.

In this era of conditional love ( people only get married because of what they'll get, especially women), one shouldn't ignore those who stood by him during the trying times for a wife ( probably a non virgin who decided to settle down after exploring all sexual fantasies).

I will always treat my wife and extended family equally.

The era of true love is over.

Unblemished Truth
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by safarigirl(f): 2:17pm On Feb 07, 2020
eni4real:
Despite the Mansion, Irina Shayk still don't want to see Cristiano mum around!!

That is her mentality and I don't see anything right about it...

It is immaturity to think like that!!

I like Cristiano classic response tho!!! cool



Safari, let's marry na tongue... At least, we have one thing in common

Family is everything! grin
you cannot see it as right at all, because you aren't her. There are other women who endorse such behavior, and I suppose it comes down to background and personality
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Nobody: 2:23pm On Feb 07, 2020
safarigirl:
you cannot see it as right at all, because you aren't her. There are other women who endorse such behavior, and I suppose it comes down to background and personality
Cristiano took his decision right...
He is enjoying Georgina now...

I hope Irina Shayk is happy too!!!

I don't believe in those that see evil in everything!!
Most of them have social phobia and paranoid mindset but they think it is a normal trait!!!

They all need to be mentored!!!
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by ImaIma1(f): 2:27pm On Feb 07, 2020
AmTruth:
You are right, but this is in most cases an exception. And our concerns is on the general considerations not exceptions.


How many men are comfortable with their FILs living with them? If you are truthful to yourself, you will own up that you can't.
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by centboy123456(m): 2:29pm On Feb 07, 2020
seniormallam:
After pushing will barrow in the market, my younger brothers sold pure water tire, my sisters Hawks bread, they were all gathering the money together for my school fees as the first son..........but we thank God today, we can now build houses and afford to buy a car..........one woman will now say those people cannot visit or stay as long as they pleased in my house..........dear wife, na you go commot go your papa house las las, it's our father's that actually marry wife.........what we have now are family breaker's, where were you when my mum was grounding pepper in the market to feed me and my sibling's.



my brother the tin tie me oh can u imagine
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by safarigirl(f): 2:29pm On Feb 07, 2020
eni4real:
Cristiano took his decision right...
He is enjoying Georgina now...

I hope Irina Shayk is happy too!!!

I don't believe in those that see evil in everything!!
Most of them have social phobia and paranoid mindset but they think it is a normal trait!!!

They all need to be mentored!!!
I doubt Irina sees evil in everything, that's quite the stretch

She just isn't family oriented and that doesn't make her an anomaly. Millions of people aren't family-oriented, and you can't judge them if you don't know how they became so.

Cristiano made the right decision for him and he is enjoying it. I am sure Irina is fine as well, they had different ideas of life and family and it is not an indictment on either person.

1 Like

Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by SweetyZinta(f): 2:29pm On Feb 07, 2020
AmTruth:
For me I think women always get it wrong in saying no one should visit them when they are married, especially husband's relative.

As a married man I don't think after the support some of our relations gave to us before marriage should lead us not accepting them to our home because we're married. This sends a wrong signal about a wife and people should take note of this.

My wife has been very comfortable allowing my younger ones staying with us because during our courtship she knows I don't joke with my relations especially my parents and younger ones and I defined it to my relations also that no one jokes with my wife.

So in the house, everyone knows his boundaries And we are all Happy and my wife confesses that too. But that doesn't mean that sometimes misunderstanding doesn't come No!

Women should understand that these our relations have played very important role in the major parts of our lives. So meeting you as a wife in a later path of my life should make me deny their access to my home would not be easily possible.

Summit to your husband's decision on the home staying matter, if you want to have a happy married life.


Where are we taking this world to? Why do people enjoy cutting off other people in their lives? Either peaceful or troublesome Inlaws should be welcomed. Everyone should just know their boundaries and maintain their lane. My paternal and maternal uncles and aunts still visit and assist us in any way they can. People should not forget their source/root. Always remember that old age is there to treat you as you have treated yourself when you were younger. If you good, good you shall see, if you cut people off, boredom will kill you. I just noticed that the people who cut off relatives from their home, their children also desert them when they have made it. Be Nice my people. A word is enough for the wise!!!

1 Like

Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Nobody: 2:35pm On Feb 07, 2020
safarigirl:
I doubt Irina sees evil in everything, that's quite the stretch

She just isn't family oriented and that doesn't make her an anomaly. Millions of people aren't family-oriented, and you can't judge them if you don't know how they became so.

Cristiano made the right decision for him and he is enjoying it. I am sure Irina is fine as well, they had different ideas of life and family and it is not an indictment on either person.
Wives with Irina Shayk mentality will never admit thay they are not family oriented. Hope you know that??

They will rather call the man(husband) unprintable names ranging from insensitive to being childish!!
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by centboy123456(m): 2:35pm On Feb 07, 2020
seniormallam:
After pushing will barrow in the market, my younger brothers sold pure water tire, my sisters Hawks bread, they were all gathering the money together for my school fees as the first son..........but we thank God today, we can now build houses and afford to buy a car..........one woman will now say those people cannot visit or stay as long as they pleased in my house..........dear wife, na you go commot go your papa house las las, it's our father's that actually marry wife.........what we have now are family breaker's, where were you when my mum was grounding pepper in the market to feed me and my sibling's.
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Lovelypet28: 2:38pm On Feb 07, 2020
eni4real:
Cristiano took his decision right...
He is enjoying Georgina now...

I hope Irina Shayk is happy too!!!

I don't believe in those that see evil in everything!!
Most of them have social phobia and paranoid mindset but they think it is a normal trait!!!

They all need to be mentored!!!
Of course irina is happy, she is dating Jake, a famous Hollywood actor, so it's a win-win situation.
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Amalekki: 2:38pm On Feb 07, 2020
Hcqmela:
if hear say tolerate for where.No b only tolerate na teloreta.Nonsense n ingredients. Men that are not good at tolerance at all.
Keywords: Real Man
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Nobody: 2:44pm On Feb 07, 2020
Lovelypet28:

Of course irina is happy, she is dating Jake, a famous Hollywood actor, so it's a win-win situation.
I am glad to hear that!!!

Happiness is the most important thing!!!

Family should not be treated with levity ,no matter what!!
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by AmTruth: 2:47pm On Feb 07, 2020
Wow!Fantastic!! fantastic!!! fantastically can't express the way I feel with this Inspirational knowledge from you.
God would make our families better and we shall enjoy our children children. Amen
SweetyZinta:


Where are we taking this world to? Why do people enjoy cutting off other people in their lives? Either peaceful or troublesome Inlaws should be welcomed. Everyone should just know their boundaries and maintain their lane. My paternal and maternal uncles and aunts still visit and assist us in any way they can. People should not forget their source/root. Always remember that old age is there to treat you as you have treated yourself when you were younger. If you good, good you shall see, if you cut people off, boredom will kill you. I just noticed that the people who cut off relatives from their home, their children also desert them when they have made it. Be Nice my people. A word is enough for the wise!!!
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Nobody: 2:53pm On Feb 07, 2020
CosmicJames:


Do you know the truth of this matter?
No lady can successfully separate her in-laws from her home without the help of her husband.

No women can separate you from your own people except you want it to be so.

I don't blame women that stop their in-laws from visiting or staying with her in her husband's house because I know that it is what their husbands want.

But their husbands are smart pretenders who put their wives at the front, and putting the blame on their wives to escape the wrath of their families.

Free the women! They are not the problem.
Their husbands is!!

Lol, you've not seen a manipulative wife and a husband that just wants peace to reign.
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by AmTruth: 2:55pm On Feb 07, 2020
So touching, it is Well.
God would bless you with wives that would be respectful to your and recognize your family members. Amen
ngddon:
My late brother's wife chase us ,hate every member of my family also assassinated him in her village .As if that was not enough ,she don't even want the children to come close to the husband family.
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by AmTruth: 2:55pm On Feb 07, 2020
So touching, it is Well.
God would bless you with wives that would be respectful to you and recognize your family members. Amen
ngddon:
My late brother's wife chase us ,hate every member of my family also assassinated him in her village .As if that was not enough ,she don't even want the children to come close to the husband family.
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by safarigirl(f): 3:00pm On Feb 07, 2020
eni4real:
Wives with Irina Shayk mentality will never admit thay they are not family oriented. Hope you know that??

They will rather call the man(husband) unprintable names ranging from insensitive to being childish!!
quite the blanket statement for people you don't know.

People like Irina own their sh*t a lot of times, because they are hardly people pleaseers. They are b*tches in every sense of it.

And you never take people's words, you judge them by their actions.
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Nobody: 3:04pm On Feb 07, 2020
safarigirl:
it is an exception, because fathers never come to live with a couple.

It is always mothers getting in everyone's business. How many times do you see a man carrying bag to go and live with his married daughter or son?

It is women who never understand the concept of space or privacy, and trust me, the MIL v. DIL battles will never end. The mothers today, did it with theirs when they were newlyweds, because women are generally a jealous and greedy bunch in whatever form they come. Women of all ages, will always compete for men's attention, be it as a wife or as a mother or even sister.

That Is women for you.

They will even compete with their blood daughters for their husband's love. Sometimes when they say women have fish brain, it's hard for me to argue.
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Theophinio(m): 3:19pm On Feb 07, 2020
engrchykae:
it's not courtesy or any ethics,you are just a selfish and self-centered greedy food lover especially meats and fish.

LWKMD
I fell off my precious bed while laughing
So much importance to pot of food especially meat and fish in 9ja
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Nobody: 3:27pm On Feb 07, 2020
YungJo207:



You can't live in your siblings house in America says who abeg? Is it from what you know or what you have seen?

Cause I know of about 2-3 couple who at least one of their family stays with them.

I know a guy his brother been living with him since 15 the guy is 25 now that 10years mehn hommie just rent a house and guess what the older brother wife( African American ) was crying he was leaving cause of the bond the family has.

The other lady I know ( white in her 50's ) her sister lives her mom since their mom passed and if my guess is right it been more than 5yrs since 2012.....so I don't know where you getting those mentality from....

Again saying American spend time with their friends Instead of their family is false...if I talk to bae now I give her 30mins is either she's on the phone with her mom or hanging out with her elder sister or some cousin.

Don't mind them, they always think there is a difference between whites and black or people that live in America or Nigeria. From the foreign reality shows I've watched, there are no major differences.
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Theophinio(m): 3:30pm On Feb 07, 2020
demarc001:


Madam will you tell your sister who lives far/out of the state, low on budget and has a project of about a month in your vicinity to stay in hotel instead of squat with you?

God bless you
Perfect scenery to understand this household wickedness
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by Pearl05(f): 3:32pm On Feb 07, 2020
AcetylLily:


Yes very correct same applies to me but in my own case I had a househelp; so I was taking care of the baby (bathing, feeding etc) while my househelp was taking care of Mother in law. I cook and dish the food for the house ooo; what the househelp does is to place the food on the table and call MIL to come and eat; while I serve my husband his own .

After a while we had issues; hubby said it’s wrong for househelp to be serving his mother that I should be the one doing it. I explained to him I cooked, dished the food and served you and also take care of baby; and what’s wrong in househelp serving MIL; he said it’s not right; I told him I can’t kee myself ooooo

I don’t know is he right

I dont have any help so the whole work was on me. From going to mkt, cooking, cleaning, washing ( have machine but prefer hand wash for baby clothes) the only thing mum does was to eat her meal, bath herself and watch her Africa magic. Not even to bath the little man.

By the time she left everyone was saying that we took good care of mum as she was looking fresh and plump.
And I was the opposite but I just said to myself it's just for a while.

1 Like

Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by YungJo207(m): 3:37pm On Feb 07, 2020
Nooil:


Don't mind them, they always think there is a difference between whites and black or people that live in America or Nigeria. From the foreign reality shows I've watched, there are no major differences.

True but we always make it look like there is a family rule that a law you must always follow.
Re: Don't Marry Me If You Won't Allow My Relations To Stay Or Visit Me. by SweetyZinta(f): 3:58pm On Feb 07, 2020
AmTruth:
Wow!Fantastic!! fantastic!!! fantastically can't express the way I feel with this Inspirational knowledge from you.
God would make our families better and we shall enjoy our children children. Amen

Thank you, God bless you.

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