Too bad our women today have no fear of God anymore. Many of them just want need a man to pay their Bills. Love doesnt exist anymore. If u re paying her bills today and u go broke anytime , she will find another mugu. I pity some men who out of fear marry from poor families so as to be in charge. It's just a matter of time. She will show u the pepper

Juliearth:




Life always has a way of offering us second chances, so things would get better if we play our parts when we become parents. Charity begins at home. Parents should focus on raising kids with stellar characters. Women should be taught the art of raising a home, the beauty of humble beginnings, the spirit of materialism can be curtailed at this stage.... Boys should be taught on how to be responsible husbands and parents, the roles they are expected to play.... Even the Bible supports this ( train up a child in the way that he should so...)

O.M.G you are truly filled with wisdom. God bless you

Fountainofyouth:



Beautifully typed!!! When I saw the taking the kids to her parents, I knew Op is delusional, is it her parents or relatives that produced the semen that birth the kids? Men will be claiming "I am responsible, I am responsible" but some are not responsible enough to single handedly take care of their own kids, na only for money dem fit claim "head of the family" smellos.

Ur way of reasoning and ur type simply shows that ur generation is worse than animals... When u watch national geo ( that's if u do) ud c that the female animals that take care of the new born and young ones ...it's instinctive , but ur generation is somehow showing that animals are even more reasonable than ur type ...

elektra:


Don't worry. All of my future husbands will be informed. In the event of a divorce, they will get primary custody of the kids.

Aunty abeg shut up,u've been talking trash ,sound like a teenager..marry rich man,they will happily take d kid primarily without ur permission,and u'll nva set ur eyes ever on dat child,mumu. U nva marry u dn dey reason divorce, olosho

Nairaland now operates like a blog...

OcVoice:
An older friend, who could pass as a dad to me

I saw 2 beautiful kids, a boy (about 4 years) and a girl (about 2 years) playing inside the bar. I asked my friend's wife and she said one of her customer had issues with his wife and the wife left him with the kids.

Bro, please check your email and contact me urgently.

Lanruze:
Mrs. Electra,

Please are you married with children ?

If not this your opinion sounds feminist and may affect your psyche in marriage.

Nigeria of today is one of the toughest places to live anywhere in the World. Inflation, unemployment, inequity, bad leadership etc.

More than 60% of Nigerian families are going through a "Tough time" need not say "Hell".

So you mean all those Women should abandon thier homes and flee with the less than 20% average or rich Men.

Once a man is not lazy and has potential, hard times are just a test of true intentions and character. More Women are looking for husbands than the reverse.



Your submission sucks.

It's not the woman fleeing that is the main issue here. It's the fact that she left the children behind. But the argument is lacking basic facts such as:

1) do we know if she wanted to take the kids with her and he refused due to some 'male pride'?

2) do we know if the 'running away' is not following a separation/divorce agreement from both parties?


The argument most people are dwelling on here is one-sided. As much as I don't support her running away with alhaji, but we must accept the bitter truth that men can support and raise their children 100% without a woman by their side. This job isn't made for the woman alone. The problem here is that the man isn't looking for ways to help his situation and that's why Op is blaming the woman.

Let me ask you: if the situation was reversed, would the weight of the argument be the same?

Not when the father trains the kid with d mindset to hate their so called mothers,or still the father marries a better wife that turns into a better mother, trust me no kid will look for that deadbeat mum

Fountainofyouth:





Shut da fvck up!!! Look around you and see many single mothers every where taking care of more than five kids SINGLEHANDEDLY, heaven did not fall, nobody bat an eyelid on the deadbeat dad because the usual slang these days is that "the children will look for me their father when they are grown", this particular woman did something rare by leaving the kids this time, all you could swallow is women love only themselves, smh!!!

Like it or not, those kids will one day grow up and look for their mother, love her, and sing "sweet mother". If you all dont like it, start killing yourselves one by one, rada rada.

Fortune109:
Nairaland now operates like a blog...

How?

benratigan3:
why blame the woman only?
first scenario, both are adults and you should blame both.you are bias in your conclusion
second scenario, hmmmm I advice Nigerian guys ,if woman no like you don't influence her with money cos when it goes she goes with it.I blame both parties and op you are bias with your conclusion. at least the first scenario, you heard from both sides ,the second you didn't

I concur

babzo:


How?

Creating some fictitious stories for traffic...

SpecialAgent:


lol, Are you sure you ain't the mother of the kids in question ?

on a serious note, I agree men should take care of their own kids in case of divorce or separation. But in situations like the op has mentioned, I don't support that. Am sorry to say, you are a very confused woman, the feminists you are trying to portray don't abandon their own kids for an adulterous adventures with "alhajis" who see them as nothing but outlets for sexual urges

Your argument is based on the fact that she ran away with alhaji. If she had died nko and he met financial difficulties months after this, wouldn't your response be different?.

No one is contesting the cheating part. We all agree she's evil. The real question is, can't the man raise his kids if the mantle falls only on him?

So many demons on Nairaland these days trying to lead women astray in the name of feminism.

TheArchangel:
Hit and rot in jail.

Get hit and wail only. That's all.

Fortune109:


Creating some fictitious stories for traffic...

Hmmmm. Interesting perspective. I hope thats not the case. That would be toying with our emotions.

Saketh1:
[s][/s]

Or deh
ho low ri buruku
Nairaland ZoneB

HitSong:

Or deh
ho low ri buruku
Nairaland ZoneB

May you die in your sleep.
Quote me to claim your prize.
Bastąrd

babzo:


Hmmmm. Interesting perspective. I hope thats not the case. That would be toying with our emotions.

Not 100 percent sure but the way those stories are well laid out and arranged are suspicious

elektra:
The only time cheating bothers men is when it is a woman doing it.
Look at this OP, he is not even the one being cheated on, but it worries him so much he had to open a thread about it.

The woman left the kids for her husband. Who should she have left them for? Are the kids not bearing the man’s name?
There are many women tired from raising kids by themselves, have you ever noticed anyone of them? The moment you see one man raising his kids you come to open thread.
You men should get used to raising your own bloody kids.

oo there is something really wrong with our society... Just imagine what this one is saying and people are supporting her... Chai

OcVoice:


This has really been disturbing me. Pls ladies, if you know you're not ready to suffer with your man when things gets tough for him, don't bother going into marriage! Don't even bother. A rich man today could be poor tomorrow. Life happens....it might not be his making! Life is not always Rosy!

Our mothers suffered with our fathers when the going was tough, why can't we emulate it?

Another thread full of lies just to bash women and marriage.
No one is forcing you to get married. If you don't get married, heaven will not fall.
Have a baby mama or not and hire nightly prostitutes. You don't have to worry about heartbreak.
The baby mama will see you as the best thing to happen to her while shopping for a permanent partner.
You can take it to the next level by hiring surrogates and handing the baby to your mother or paid nanny to raise.
When your money finishes, the prostitutes and the baby mama will be there for you for everything you did for them.
What a blissful life that will be?


I see some kids already agreed to what you saw.
It doesn't matter what you saw!
We have seen a wife stab her husband. Some will use it as a justification to bash marriage.
But who cares?
Why can't you guys just reject marriage without excuses, it is not like it is illegal to not get married.
I am expecting more stories such as this as their frequency increases daily.

We4all:


Why would a woman abandon her own kids? Even if u don't want the man, can't u take your kids to your parents or even siblings and look after them?

And what's wrong if a man takes care of his kids? Are you saying that raising children should be the sole responsibility of a woman? Peradventure a wife dies, is the husband not supposed to cater for their kids?

Look, the problem that man has is not because his wife left him, but rather because he wasn't proactive enough to figure out what he would do if his wife left him.

There is no reason why a man cannot raise his kids by himself when a woman can do so singlehandedly for years, and without any form of support.

I don't feel sorry for the man, and in his next world, he should learn that being a man isn't all about impregnating a woman, but also about learning the act of parenting.

You don't sound educated or enlightened at all. So every married man should have it at the back of his mind that his wife may leave him someday, when he'e getting married to her? And to think people actually liked this comment of yours. So many dumb people in the world today

Ganjafama:
I have seen a mother ape risk her life to save her baby's life from the bullet of my uncle who is a hunter. I quietly whispered to him not to shoot her. If an ape could be so motherly not to abandon her baby, why can't a human do more?. Again look at the language you used "bloody kids" - so unwomanly.

There are human mothers who do that too. But what do they get at the end of the day?
Namecalling from man-kids and women are getting the message clearly.

Many of you believe that women are useless in marriage and only money matters but turn around to
cry foul when responsibilities are dumped on you.

There is even a group of degenerate who create multiple threads daily about how women are useless
safe for sex and they get multiple boys to agree and cheer them on.
These half-wits don't realize that they are engaging in self-sabotage.
If just 20% of women believe the same thing as them and act on it, life will be hell for men in the next generation
whether they get married or not.
As long as a man wants kids, he will not be exempted from crushing responsibilities which he was not trained for.

Most naija women no get joy.

OcVoice:
An older friend, who could pass as a dad to me owns a bar and few a letout rooms for short sex or even a day booking.

He recently travelled to see his children abroad and asked me to come assist his wife once a while after work/hustle.

The first scenario:
I was there yesterday and I noticed a man in his 60's and a woman in her 50's, drinking and eating together. Their language was of the Eastern and I understood correctly.

After having some bottles, the woman talked about her husband who was on a business trip and her grown up children at the university and all. She locked her shop to come be with the man.

The man also talked about his wife in the village for a function and grown up children bla bla bla!

The shock:
The man was obviously trying to ask her out.....then she immediately told him that she wouldn't be interested in that. The man now asked what she wants and she said they should be fvck buddies. She said: "Any time my husband is away, I'll call u. "We would come here, drink and fvck well"
The man accepted and they booked an hour and went into a room!
Even though they are older and had grown up children, I still don't like adultery!

2nd scenario:

I noticed this last week.

I saw 2 beautiful kids, a boy (about 4 years) and a girl (about 2 years) playing inside the bar. I asked my friend's wife and she said one of her customer had issues with his wife and the wife left him with the kids.

From her story, the guy use to work and provide for his family, till he lost his job and the wife couldn't cope with the hardship. She abandoned her kids and went away with a rich alhaji. This guy has been taking care of the kids....bathing and feeding them, taking them to school and bringing them back, cleaning poos, etc. His rent expired and the landlord sent him packing forcefully, after some months. The reason he stays in the bar in the mean time.

Around 8pm that day, while he was out hustling, I saw the girl sleeping in an uncomfortable manner; hitting her head on the table while she dozed off, and I just thought to myself while carrying her on my arms so she could sleep well; she's innocent. She didn't bring herself to this world. She should be on bed sleeping now. She obviously hadn't had dinner.

Why would a woman abandon her own kids? Even if u don't want the man, can't u take your kids to your parents or even siblings and look after them? Where is the love? Is marriage not in good times and in bad times anymore? I had to shed tears while pondering! I was told the man had no one in the city.

I waited till he came back and I spoke with him. He told me the same. I felt so sorry for him. He was looking so tired and stressed. I can't do more than supporting him financially with the little I can.

This has really been disturbing me. Pls ladies, if you know you're not ready to suffer with your man when things gets tough for him, don't bother going into marriage! Don't even bother. A rich man today could be poor tomorrow. Life happens....it might not be his making! Life is not always Rosy!

Our mothers suffered with our fathers when the going was tough, why can't we emulate it?

delishpot:



Exactly what I tell women too o. I tell them to not kill themselves over husbands cos in the end, its only their husbands that is not their relative among all their family members.

@ Topic. I used to have a friend whose husband would always attack her. He stopped her from working, stopped her from socializing etc He is a big time womanizer too. Anyways, he was found of always reminding her how she was lazy, how looking after children is not a big deal bla bla bla. so one good day, she left him alone with his kid and went to her parents place. come and see him blackmailing her up and down, forming my wife left her kid and ran away. when she came back the next day he stopped his yeye talk. Did not want her to go for NYSC cos he said she doesnt need to et a job so no need to go serve. inshort, I dont listen to 1 sided story in this type of circumstance. Low key this post is trying to paint women bad.

U don't listen to one sided stories u say , but u just shared a one sided story , or did u hear from the man .. I fear una, anybody wey take Una serious na spirit

Fountainofyouth:


Don't be stupid, apply wisdom where necessary.

U just came back from a ban, u wan go another on Abi?

Gangster

elektra:
The only time cheating bothers men is when it is a woman doing it.
Look at this OP, he is not even the one being cheated on, but it worries him so much he had to open a thread about it.

The woman left the kids for her husband. Who should she have left them for? Are the kids not bearing the man’s name?
There are many women tired from raising kids by themselves, have you ever noticed anyone of them? The moment you see one man raising his kids you come to open thread.
You men should get used to raising your own bloody kids.

elektra:
The only time cheating bothers men is when it is a woman doing it.
Look at this OP, he is not even the one being cheated on, but it worries him so much he had to open a thread about it.

The woman left the kids for her husband. Who should she have left them for? Are the kids not bearing the man’s name?
There are many women tired from raising kids by themselves, have you ever noticed anyone of them? The moment you see one man raising his kids you come to open thread.
You men should get used to raising your own bloody kids.

bloody kids?

my dog Bruce said you sound like a sex object

Arsenate:
Second story;

Women don't love their children like they pretend to do. Notice how none of the women on here criticized the woman for abandoning her children: because it's just what they'd do. Heck women don't love anyone but themselves.

It is no one's fault if you get dumped at a motherless home.

You create senseless threads to bash women every day.
You call them useless in marriage while you believe you are superman.
When they now decide to walk your talk, you start crying for attention.
Some women have realized that it is not worth it to sacrifice their life just for
you to be happy that is why no one is condemning the woman for doing what is best for herself.
If you want kids, be ready to babysit.

The age of emotional blackmail is over.

Fountainofyouth:



Was the husband blind of that fact when he was busy flaunting and spending on her to have her to himself? He didn't think of alternatives in case the one he had finishes?

are you serious?