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Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! - Family (6) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! (116436 Views)

What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? / What My Fiancee Said Is Bothering Me / What's Your Biggest Fear About Marriage? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Karac: 10:51pm On Feb 16
bigiyaro:
when you know that among all your family members, its only your wife that is not your relative, your guards will be up automatically and you are better equipped to deal with betrayals.

Deep

1 Like

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by sharone21(f): 10:56pm On Feb 16
OcVoice:
An older friend, who could pass as a dad to me owns a bar and few a letout rooms for short sex or even a day booking.

He recently travelled to see his children abroad and asked me to come assist his wife once a while after work/hustle.

The first scenario:
I was there yesterday and I noticed a man in his 60's and a woman in her 50's, drinking and eating together. Their language was of the Eastern and I understood correctly.

After having some bottles, the woman talked about her husband who was on a business trip and her grown up children at the university and all. She locked her shop to come be with the man.

The man also talked about his wife in the village for a function and grown up children bla bla bla!

The shock:

The man was obviously trying to ask her out.....then she immediately told him that she wouldn't be interested in that. The man now asked what she wants and she said they should be fvck buddies. She said: "Any time my husband is away, I'll call u. "We would come here, drink and fvck well"
The man accepted and they booked an hour and went into a room!
Even though they are older and had grown up children, I still don't like adultery!

2nd scenario:

I noticed this last week.

I saw 2 beautiful kids, a boy (about 4 years) and a girl (about 2 years) playing inside the bar. I asked my friend's wife and she said one of her customer had issues with his wife and the wife left him with the kids.

From her story, the guy use to work and provide for his family, till he lost his job and the wife couldn't cope with the hardship. She abandoned her kids and went away with a rich alhaji. This guy has been taking care of the kids....bathing and feeding them, taking them to school and bringing them back, cleaning poos, etc. His rent expired and the landlord sent him packing forcefully, after some months. The reason he stays in the bar in the mean time.

Around 8pm that day, while he was out hustling, I saw the girl sleeping in an uncomfortable manner; hitting her head on the table while she dozed off, and I just thought to myself while carrying her on my arms so she could sleep well; she's innocent. She didn't bring herself to this world. She should be on bed sleeping now. She obviously hadn't had dinner.

Why would a woman abandon her own kids? Even if u don't want the man, can't u take your kids to your parents or even siblings and look after them? Where is the love? Is marriage not in good times and in bad times anymore? I had to shed tears while pondering! I was told the man had no one in the city.

I waited till he came back and I spoke with him. He told me the same. I felt so sorry for him. He was looking so tired and stressed. I can't do more than supporting him financially with the little I can.

This has really been disturbing me. Pls ladies, if you know you're not ready to suffer with your man when things gets tough for him, don't bother going into marriage! Don't even bother. A rich man today could be poor tomorrow. Life happens....it might not be his making! Life is not always Rosy!

Our mothers suffered with our fathers when the going was tough, why can't we emulate it?

As a simple person in the midst of Nigerians(lol), I will say OVERSABI too much.....So, how would you expect a woman to react to an oversabi man of nowadays unlike what we used to have in our father's time? Also, if woman carry pikin go, na still some men go shout.

5 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Evercurious(f): 10:56pm On Feb 16
jess2019:


I like men who think like this and in my next world I would like to marry one. My husband and I are professionals though he makes way more than me as I only work 2days and he works 7 days. He believes he should carry all the financial responsibilities. He doesn't ask for my money. I just keep mine and we use his for everything. But I do everything for the family including buying his clothes, shoes, in a nut shell I run our home 100%, he only helps but the reality is that I am choking up with stress because going to work is easier but running of the house with kids is so demanding and it's never a shift. It carries on.

If your wife is going to contribute equally financially, I hope you are also ready to equally share domestic chores? Some men will want to eat their cakes and still have it. Dont be doing 20% of house chores oo. Be ready to do it all.



Hope you ll praise and love your husband this same way should he go jobless..

5 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Mshad662(m): 10:57pm On Feb 16
Native101:
Society is screwed up already. And we are just seeing a tip of what is going to obtain in 20, 30 years from now.

There will be no 30 years from now. Lol you actually think this world will still last another 30 years? And you go to church

3 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by kamnba(m): 10:58pm On Feb 16
OcVoice:
An older friend, who could pass as a dad to me owns a bar and few a letout rooms for short sex or even a day booking.

He recently travelled to see his children abroad and asked me to come assist his wife once a while after work/hustle.

The first scenario:
I was there yesterday and I noticed a man in his 60's and a woman in her 50's, drinking and eating together. Their language was of the Eastern and I understood correctly.

After having some bottles, the woman talked about her husband who was on a business trip and her grown up children at the university and all. She locked her shop to come be with the man.

The man also talked about his wife in the village for a function and grown up children bla bla bla!

The shock:

The man was obviously trying to ask her out.....then she immediately told him that she wouldn't be interested in that. The man now asked what she wants and she said they should be fvck buddies. She said: "Any time my husband is away, I'll call u. "We would come here, drink and fvck well"
The man accepted and they booked an hour and went into a room!
Even though they are older and had grown up children, I still don't like adultery!

2nd scenario:

I noticed this last week.

I saw 2 beautiful kids, a boy (about 4 years) and a girl (about 2 years) playing inside the bar. I asked my friend's wife and she said one of her customer had issues with his wife and the wife left him with the kids.

From her story, the guy use to work and provide for his family, till he lost his job and the wife couldn't cope with the hardship. She abandoned her kids and went away with a rich alhaji. This guy has been taking care of the kids....bathing and feeding them, taking them to school and bringing them back, cleaning poos, etc. His rent expired and the landlord sent him packing forcefully, after some months. The reason he stays in the bar in the mean time.

Around 8pm that day, while he was out hustling, I saw the girl sleeping in an uncomfortable manner; hitting her head on the table while she dozed off, and I just thought to myself while carrying her on my arms so she could sleep well; she's innocent. She didn't bring herself to this world. She should be on bed sleeping now. She obviously hadn't had dinner.

Why would a woman abandon her own kids? Even if u don't want the man, can't u take your kids to your parents or even siblings and look after them? Where is the love? Is marriage not in good times and in bad times anymore? I had to shed tears while pondering! I was told the man had no one in the city.

I waited till he came back and I spoke with him. He told me the same. I felt so sorry for him. He was looking so tired and stressed. I can't do more than supporting him financially with the little I can.

This has really been disturbing me. Pls ladies, if you know you're not ready to suffer with your man when things gets tough for him, don't bother going into marriage! Don't even bother. A rich man today could be poor tomorrow. Life happens....it might not be his making! Life is not always Rosy!

Our mothers suffered with our fathers when the going was tough, why can't we emulate it?
the lady in question married the guy because of money, that makes her not to think of what left behind. Guys be careful, women are not smiling when you are broke.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Starz825(m): 10:58pm On Feb 16
benratigan3:
why blame the woman only?
first scenario, both are adults and you should blame both.you are bias in your conclusion
second scenario, hmmmm I advice Nigerian guys ,if woman no like you don't influence her with money cos when it goes she goes with it.I blame both parties and op you are bias with your conclusion. at least the first scenario, you heard from both sides ,the second you didn't
How could he have heard from both sides in the second scenario...
He is right with his conclusion joor....
How can u leave your children in the first place to sleep and wake in a brothel....it's obvious she left the man when the going isn't smooth anymore...

1 Like

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by joyandfaith: 10:59pm On Feb 16
if you could not be a single father or mother, do not bother to marry.

6 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Thirteenblood: 10:59pm On Feb 16
Wow

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by SpecialAgent: 11:01pm On Feb 16
thelish:


And our husbands are our only relative ooo
Whether una take us as strangers coming to invade ur home, we go still accept una as our ONLY relative.

Not all sha, You will hardly see brothers personally kill each other unlike couples way go kolo for one night, in a twisted sense of love starb his/her partner to death

1 Like

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by bonnyhope: 11:02pm On Feb 16
elektra:
The only time cheating bothers men is when it is a woman doing it.
Look at this OP, he is not even the one being cheated on, but it worries him so much he had to open a thread about it.

The woman left the kids for her husband. Who should she have left them for? Are the kids not bearing the man’s name?
There are many women tired from raising kids by themselves, have you ever noticed anyone of them? The moment you see one man raising his kids you come to open thread.
You men should get used to raising your own bloody kids.
By their fruit you shall know them

7 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by doggedfighter(f): 11:02pm On Feb 16
Fountainofyouth:





Shut da fvck up!!! Look around you and see many single mothers every where taking care of more than five kids SINGLEHANDEDLY, heaven did not fall, nobody bat an eyelid on the deadbeat dad because the usual slang these days is that "the children will look for me their father when they are grown", this particular woman did something rare by leaving the kids this time, all you could swallow is women love only themselves, smh!!!

Like it or not, those kids will one day grow up and look for their mother, love her, and sing "sweet mother". If you all dont like it, start killing yourselves one by one, rada rada.
Say it loud, babe. It's high time someone tell them the truth

9 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by membranus: 11:03pm On Feb 16
Uyi168:
..where did u get this lie from?

From your blog sisters up here.

Tell them love in good or bad times is part of the marital vows.

And that any mother who abandon her children because of hardship is a witch.

Our mothers did not do that to us even through we went through polygamous rigours. And most of them are now enjoying the rewards of their endurance for us.

2 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Nobody: 11:05pm On Feb 16
elektra:
The only time cheating bothers men is when it is a woman doing it.
Look at this OP, he is not even the one being cheated on, but it worries him so much he had to open a thread about it.

The woman left the kids for her husband. Who should she have left them for? Are the kids not bearing the man’s name?
There are many women tired from raising kids by themselves, have you ever noticed anyone of them? The moment you see one man raising his kids you come to open thread.
You men should get used to raising your own bloody kids.
Awwwwwww Aunty,Calm Down...Why address the innocent Kids that way?!....Hope u don't Hate Kids if not I'll have to put u in my thoughts and prayers.... It's not the Kids fault that two consenting adults can no more sort out things between themselves.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Koralords: 11:05pm On Feb 16
Reminds me of a friend of mine who cashout big bought a car and rush to marry when the money finish around September of that year the girl gave him till December that If his condition does not improve she would leave ,
And she truly left him Jan of that year
All this girls no fit suffer with guy

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by NigPatriot(m): 11:06pm On Feb 16
yusufu16:
If I tell you my own experience, this your story na mymy. In fact sometimes I tell myself, I will not marry till I die.

Share bro
Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by MisterGrace: 11:09pm On Feb 16
elektra:
The only time cheating bothers men is when it is a woman doing it.
Look at this OP, he is not even the one being cheated on, but it worries him so much he had to open a thread about it.

The woman left the kids for her husband. Who should she have left them for? Are the kids not bearing the man’s name?
There are many women tired from raising kids by themselves, have you ever noticed anyone of them? The moment you see one man raising his kids you come to open thread.
You men should get used to raising your own bloody kids.

Bloody kids huh? Tells much about your personality. Bloody kids? Damn!

7 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by KIDfurniture(m): 11:09pm On Feb 16
This one happened to someone I know. Just 1 time she caught hiv..she didnt tell anyone about it. She died


taylor89:
Such is life bro


After what I went through years back from a horrible ex I came to a conclusion that it's only ur parents and siblings that truly loves u genuinely that's why I can never trade their love for a pvssy I didn't know its next owner


Life is so unfair, these kind of adulterous women hardly contact HIV, but cool dude that has been celibate for years now will just hit one night stand now, Boom HIV go show himself

3 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by DNSPro: 11:10pm On Feb 16
666
Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by sharone21(f): 11:12pm On Feb 16
Kaycee54321:
Second scenario is the reason why I will never marry if I don't have a certain level of cash flow and why I CAN NEVER marry a female who has nothing going on for herself... That crap about men taking care of a woman doesn't work on me

I earn, you earn, we care for each other, we raise a family together like a damn team...if e no work, na to kuku dey single... No be by force to born. Can't imagine bringing innocent babies to suffer.


Self entitled AGAIN.....The money u won't spend to pamper your woman, SPEND it on a surrogate mum to have your kids for u while u and your 50-50 partner WORK!

2 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by membranus: 11:12pm On Feb 16
Evercurious:




Hope you ll praise and love your husband this same way should he go jobless..

Hope you have good comprehension of what she wrote?

She is actually saying she is not satisfied with her husband because she was appraising another man, wishing she has him as her husband in another life.

She is also nagging that the man is not doing household chores and his financial support does not cover all the household needs.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Kaycee54321(m): 11:13pm On Feb 16
sharone21:



Self entitled AGAIN.....The money u won't spend to pamper your woman, SPEND it on a surrogate mum to have your kids for u while u and your 50-50 partner WORK!


If I say I understand you, I'm a big liar.
Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by ENIGMATIC2023(m): 11:15pm On Feb 16
Nigeria is the most dangerous place to live after hell fire

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by bonnyhope: 11:16pm On Feb 16
Jim99:


I wish your husband could see this. So he knows who he married and be prepared

She lacks home training

Atleast we could tell from her speech and I pity the man that finally ends with her

6 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Samuels90: 11:16pm On Feb 16
elektra:
The only time cheating bothers men is when it is a woman doing it.
Look at this OP, he is not even the one being cheated on, but it worries him so much he had to open a thread about it.

The woman left the kids for her husband. Who should she have left them for? Are the kids not bearing the man’s name?
There are many women tired from raising kids by themselves, have you ever noticed anyone of them? The moment you see one man raising his kids you come to open thread.
You men should get used to raising your own bloody kids.
bloody kids, shocked, bad choice of words...

9 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by juman(m): 11:16pm On Feb 16
In marriage religious consideration is most important picking the partner.
Even if hard time comes, religious belief helps a lot.

3 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by kushme: 11:16pm On Feb 16
tricksters:
The only reason you have right to opinion such as this is simply because so foolish men find this your comment amusing.


Correct, these foolish men are mostly the cause of why a bloody female like this would open her mouth to say something like that.

2 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by OkpaNsukkaisBae(m): 11:17pm On Feb 16
chai... see as nl evening newspapers and single mothers wan roast op alive like an angry lioness.

uwa di egwu..

they be like SHUT DA FVCK UP , look around & you will see single mothers raising kids independently & yet the world did not crash....hence the man should raise [/i] his bloody kids [i]


none even bothered to condemn the wife.

this is not a case of divorce....baba was a good husband, lost his job. woman ran away. inside life.

5 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by milvet(f): 11:18pm On Feb 16
nahzyla:
All this back and forth arguments over a thread of lies
beats me�but I'm enjoying it.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Koralords: 11:18pm On Feb 16
SBL28:
I'm a woman and I blame the mother of those kids. I'm not saying the man should not step up o but I don't understand why a woman would pack out of her husband's house and leave her children behind!

She obviously does not love the children. So she's eating and sleeping comfortably somewhere knowing she left her little children behind? That is a terrible terrible mother, she does not even deserve that title.

The one I hate the most is when women remarry and take the child(ren) from their previous marriage to live with aunties or grandparents. That is never happening with me, you love me, you must love my children too. Na package deal, buy one get two free!
May god bless you with a good home,what kind leaves her kids behind ?

3 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by eyinjuege: 11:18pm On Feb 16
membranus:


From your blog sisters up here.

Tell them love in good or bad times is part of the marital vows.

And that any mother who abandon her children because of hardship is a witch.

Our mothers did not do that to us even through we went through polygamous rigours. And most of them are now enjoying the rewards of their endurance for us.

Is it bad if fathers enjoy the rewards of endurance? Men don't need to sell themselves short..
The children will remember who was there for them when they grow up.
They will celebrate their father on the various mother's days', and still remember him on Father's Day. They will remember to look after him in his old age, as he was the only one they knew growing up.

6 Likes

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