₦airaland Forum

Kaycee54321:
Second scenario is the reason why I will never marry if I don't have a certain level of cash flow and why I CAN NEVER marry a female who has nothing going on for herself... That crap about men taking care of a woman doesn't work on me

I earn, you earn, we care for each other, we raise a family together like a damn team...if e no work, na to kuku dey single... No be by force to born. Can't imagine bringing innocent babies to suffer.

sense talking

bigiyaro:
when you know that among all your family members, its only your wife that is not your relative, your guards will be up automatically and you are better equipped to deal with betrayals.

This hit deep

OP feels compassion for the poor kids, and carries the little one so she can sleep more comfortably. Let's take that into consideration before completely trashing his opinion and himself as a person.

Both parents are responsible for bringing up their kids, OP. The father should not be exempted. Best not to bring them into the world, if there is no plan B for them under various unforeseen circumstances, separation.

KIDfurniture:
Too bad our women today have no fear of God anymore. Many of them just want need a man to pay their Bills. Love doesnt exist anymore. If u re paying her bills today and u go broke anytime , she will find another mugu. I pity some men who out of fear marry from poor families so as to be in charge. It's just a matter of time. She will show u the pepper

No b lie...marry from a struggling family and watch as u go c pepper... Will never go near such in my life again...rich kids are more consederate, that's the well trained ones ...they truly fall in love

Jim99:
I wish your husband could see this. So he knows who he married and be prepared

Calm down. Life know how to serve people like that hot pepper soup.

Fountainofyouth:
Shut da fvck up!!! Look around you and see many single mothers every where taking care of more than five kids SINGLEHANDEDLY, heaven did not fall, nobody bat an eyelid on the deadbeat dad because the usual slang these days is that "the children will look for me their father when they are grown", this particular woman did something rare by leaving the kids this time, all you could swallow is women love only themselves, smh!!!

Like it or not, those kids will one day grow up and look for their mother, love her, and sing "sweet mother". If you all dont like it, start killing yourselves one by one, rada rada.

You're clearly blinded. No kid who grew up knowing his or her mother abandoned him would love and hail her. NONE!

Arsenate:
Second story;

Women don't love their children like they pretend to do. Notice how none of the women on here criticized the woman for abandoning her children: because it's just what they'd do. Heck women don't love anyone but themselves.

The patrichiahy caused it. Our grandfathers and fathers and today's men caused it. Women are angry and have signed out. Today's men are in trouble but they only have themselves to blame. It is the kids my heart goes out to.

A woman carries a child for 9 months, breastfeed the child and nurtures the child, gives the child your name, changes her name to your name and you cannot pay the rent alone you are asking her for half of the rent. Men have really eaten the whole pie and now women have kuku broken the table too.

I dont pity the men o but my heart goes out to the kids. 85% of cheating is being done by women now unlike before women were faithful. Men have really dropped it and .....

Acidosis:
You get time sha. Why are you begging/pleading?

You have to develop yourself enough to throw a party when someone walks out of your life. It's an avenue to expand your experience and grow.

There are no regrets in my book and, more importantly, I don't suffer heartbreaks. The signs are always there for you to watch and prepare! So before you make the attempt to leave, I am already gone (in my mind).

Also, men need to learn to set their rules. Society shouldn't always tell us what to do. Today is Val and the typical man is out there running helter skelter from one cinema to another restaurant all in the attempt to impress the woman with our society's meaning of love.

Men stup!dly do this out of fear of neglect and heartbreak. Like Sango or Obatala, they fear their gods (women) will abandon them if they fail to perform the yearly ritual. We have turned women into smaller gods we must appease to avoid wrath and calamity. Real gods/God (like mothers and our heavenly father) do not unleash terror because we fail to praise them. Think of those times you failed to praise God. Think of those times you failed to celebrate your mother on "Mother's day". Did your mother abandon you?

Men now act out of fear of abandonment and loneliness, and love of pleasure and other mundane things that can't stand the test of time or lack. Even if you love to spend or cherish your spouse's beautiful face more than your life, create a dummy scenario like these things don't matter to you sometimes.

I tell people this all the time. If every man has your mentality, no heartbreak would shock them.

Have had more than 3 young married women ask that we be Bleep buddies but i declined. That's the gospel truth. A lot of these women marry money for comfort. Some their hubby sleeping around too and they just want to pay him back. I cant see myself doing that. It appalling and sad.

jess2019:
I like men who think like this and in my next world I would like to marry one. My husband and I are professionals though he makes way more than me as I only work 2days and he works 7 days. He believes he should carry all the financial responsibilities. He doesn't ask for my money. I just keep mine and we use his for everything. But I do everything for the family including buying his clothes, shoes, in a nut shell I run our home 100%, he only helps but the reality is that I am choking up with stress because going to work is easier but running of the house with kids is so demanding and it's never a shift. It carries on.

If your wife is going to contribute equally financially, I hope you are also ready to equally share domestic chores? Some men will want to eat their cakes and still have it. Dont be doing 20% of house chores oo. Be ready to do it all.

Leave this chore of a thing. Men now don't have a problem with it. Go to many homes now, na man dey do house work even though na him dey provide 100%.

Kaycee54321:
Although I hate chores, I'm the kinda guy that'll do anything just so my woman doesn't over stress and start aging prematurely. I value family a lot and I'll do anything to have a stable home in the midst of all this madness. I don't see marriage as something that'll stop me from doing what I was already doing as a bachelor. Cooking and cleaning are necessary survival skills every human must have regardless of whether you have a penis or vagina.

Though, I hate cooking, I can always be there and help out here and there. Life is simple.

I hate chores too. But i just can't stay and watch one person be doing things around the house without me helping. That's a normal human being for you.

cr7lomo:
U don't listen to one sided stories u say , but u just shared a one sided story , or did u hear from the man .. I fear una, anybody wey take Una serious na spirit

That story I shared was not 1 sided. I was a witness and involved in making peace between the couple. Talked to the husband, talked to the wife and even the mans father who was also instigating the war cos the babe was not to happy with some things he was doing. This one is 100 percent both sided story.
In short I was even scared that he might harm me for helping his wife stand on her 2 feet cos in his mind she has to obey him to the letter eg when I encouraged her to try and go do her NYSC after he said he would never allow her go for it nor get clearance. he said why would she look for work. If you find her a small job, on the morning she should resume, he will give her a long sheet of paper to write essay and make sure he gets it when he comes home for break if he doesn't meet her waiting to explain the essay na beating go follow. I now encouraged her to take photos as proof. My dear 100 percent what I witnessed. Where do I want to start from? Pray that your female relatives will not meet that kind of man and that your male relatives will not meet such a person in woman's skin. Worse part is, if he beats her and she goes to her parents house, he will start saying she ran from the marriage, she must have meet a man out there bla bla bla he will never tell you he beat her and she left. He will just make her the evil one. Some people dey sha

Affamefuna:
After reading some of the comments here from our ladies, I now see y divorce rate and broken homes is on the increase! In as much as cheating is wrong and no gender should have the sole licence to cheat, it surprises me that no woman has condemned the act of the woman abandoning her children..what if the man decided to leave them too, what will become their fate?
The rate at which some women go after material things is so alarming, no one wants to experience hard time anymore forgetting that the table can turn tomorrow. What happens to for better or worst?
If you are experiencing hardship and ur husband still toils day and night to put food on the table, the least u can do as a wife is to support him! u are a devil if u choose to do otherwise
Like I always say, no woman is worth dying for all in the name of love. The amount of love and care u show to a woman should be commensurate with the amount of love and care she showers u. I don't believe in love at first sight, true love to me is built by two individuals who wants to make it work.
As for the young ladies out there forming feminist and believe they can't take shit, I say well-done to you, what most of u want is equal right but not equal responsibility. U apply gender equality only when it suits u
Young men, I mean the responsible ones should shine their eyes very well before going into marriage, the mindset of some of these ladies lately is quacked, they should keep an open mindset, eliminate anything love out of the relationship and should pray for a discerning Spirit, thesame advice also goes to the responsible single ladies too to avoid stories like this that touches the heart.
A word they say is enough for the wise. My two cents!

Lol. Only one guy gave the best advice in this thread and that is of viewing your wife as the ONLY family member that is not your relative. If you have this mindset, no Jezebel would frustrate your life.

Mobree:
Wifebeater spotted... Better be careful who you "hit", so you don't find a knife in your neck in the middle of the night. Make you no reach heaven before you understand

naija women have signed!! When you oppress a group of people titi they will sign!! Chai!

We4all:
Why would a woman abandon her own kids? Even if u don't want the man, can't u take your kids to your parents or even siblings and look after them?

And what's wrong if a man takes care of his kids? Are you saying that raising children should be the sole responsibility of a woman? Peradventure a wife dies, is the husband not supposed to cater for their kids?

Look, the problem that man has is not because his wife left him, but rather because he wasn't proactive enough to figure out what he would do if his wife left him.

There is no reason why a man cannot raise his kids by himself when a woman can do so singlehandedly for years, and without any form of support.

I don't feel sorry for the man, and in his next world, he should learn that being a man isn't all about impregnating a woman, but also about learning the act of parenting.

Did you actually write this?..We surely live in the era of smart phones and stupid people..
Spits..

Ganjafama:
I have seen a mother ape risk her life to save her baby's life from the bullet of my uncle who is a hunter. I quietly whispered to him not to shoot her. If an ape could be so motherly not to abandon her baby, why can't a human do more?. Again look at the language you used "bloody kids" - so unwomanly.

Na dem.Oloshos association of Nigeria..

bigiyaro:
when you know that among all your family members, its only your wife that is not your relative, your guards will be up automatically and you are better equipped to deal with betrayals.

This message is so deep. Thanks

Truer words have not been spoken. Thank you for this piece. Men really need to define their individual rules.

Acidosis:
You get time sha. Why are you begging/pleading?

You have to develop yourself enough to throw a party when someone walks out of your life. It's an avenue to expand your experience and grow.

There are no regrets in my book and, more importantly, I don't suffer heartbreaks. The signs are always there for you to watch and prepare! So before you make the attempt to leave, I am already gone (in my mind).

Also, men need to learn to set their rules. Society shouldn't always tell us what to do. Today is Val and the typical man is out there running helter skelter from one cinema to another restaurant all in the attempt to impress the woman with our society's meaning of love.

Men stup!dly do this out of fear of neglect and heartbreak. Like Sango or Obatala, they fear their gods (women) will abandon them if they fail to perform the yearly ritual. We have turned women into smaller gods we must appease to avoid wrath and calamity. Real gods/God (like mothers and our heavenly father) do not unleash terror because we fail to praise them. Think of those times you failed to praise God. Think of those times you failed to celebrate your mother on "Mother's day". Did your mother abandon you?

Men now act out of fear of abandonment and loneliness, and love of pleasure and other mundane things that can't stand the test of time or lack. Even if you love to spend or cherish your spouse's beautiful face more than your life, create a dummy scenario like these things don't matter to you sometimes.

This is a very stupid mentality. Just get a baby mama and call it a day.

bigiyaro:
when you know that among all your family members, its only your wife that is not your relative, your guards will be up automatically and you are better equipped to deal with betrayals.

Because you men over the years you men have made them believe they are doing you a favour by being with you. The prime of a woman starts by age 17/18 to age 25/26 and some are lucky to still look good at age 28. After that period they are not worth chasing anymore. On the other hand, the man’s prime begins at 31 to almost infinity because at age 31 he has something he is doing, has a goal he is chasing, taking good care of himself and all. It is this time up women find him attractive because he has means and matured. Unfortunately, men waste their young years chasing women up and down not knowing they still have a lot of time ahead when, it is even the women that will be chasing them all over the place. Who do you think is doing the other a favour??

emmaodet:
Hmmmmmmm
You are right sha.
The way guys advice other guys and beg women not to leave a relationship, it looks as if they are doing us a Favour by just dating or marrying us.
It is Capital NO.
If they are tired, they can take a walk.
Ti a ba gunyan ninu ewe, ti a se obe ninu epo epa, eni mayo mayo. - No matter the situation, those who will be contented will be and those who won't, will not

OcVoice:
Raising children is the sole responsibility of both parents. Women are good at looking after and taking good care of children. That's why God made them as helps to men.
Par adventure she dies, the man can re-marry and allow another woman help him, so they can both take care of the children.

Genesis 5:2 King James Version (KJV)
2 Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam(Mankind), in the day when they were created.

According to science, do you know women came first. XX chromosome (woman), Xy chromosome (men). The male y comes after the female X chromosome and it is also smaller because the man’s y chromosome is a genetic defect of the woman’s X chromosome. The woman still has all of her X chromosomal components intact (about 1000,1000), meanwhile the male y chromosome has deteriorated from about (X:1000,Y:800) to (X:1000,Y:78). You know what that means, right?

The woman can also produce sperm from her bone marrow, so a man is not needed to procreate, but the man can never produce an egg.

some people are wicked sha. All the same, deal on the importation of FAIRLY USED laptop computers from Japan, Europe, China, America, Germany etc. eg, this white hp pavilion 15 core i3 with intel irish graphics for #65k

this is the main reason why some girls will tell you that they are wise but they will make the worst mistakes and meet the worst man in life. listen to your comments! A woman was created to be a constant companion, a help and meek being. if the man lost his job or what so ever, the woman should stay with him. you talk of bloody kids which you are not sure if you will have any bloody kid in your life yet. A woman that carry pregnancy for nine months and abandon her children is very wicked quote me well. some of you should go and buy yourself brain if not you will suffer in life.

elektra:
The only time cheating bothers men is when it is a woman doing it.
Look at this OP, he is not even the one being cheated on, but it worries him so much he had to open a thread about it.

The woman left the kids for her husband. Who should she have left them for? Are the kids not bearing the man’s name?
There are many women tired from raising kids by themselves, have you ever noticed anyone of them? The moment you see one man raising his kids you come to open thread.
You men should get used to raising your own bloody kids.

Adultery is not good.
It is the responsibility of parents(male and female) to take care of their kids.

In which state is this coded bar located?

OcVoice:
An older friend, who could pass as a dad to me owns a bar and few a letout rooms for short sex or even a day booking.

He recently travelled to see his children abroad and asked me to come assist his wife once a while after work/hustle.

The first scenario:
I was there yesterday and I noticed a man in his 60's and a woman in her 50's, drinking and eating together. Their language was of the Eastern and I understood correctly.

After having some bottles, the woman talked about her husband who was on a business trip and her grown up children at the university and all. She locked her shop to come be with the man.

The man also talked about his wife in the village for a function and grown up children bla bla bla!

The shock:
The man was obviously trying to ask her out.....then she immediately told him that she wouldn't be interested in that. The man now asked what she wants and she said they should be fvck buddies. She said: "Any time my husband is away, I'll call u. "We would come here, drink and fvck well"
The man accepted and they booked an hour and went into a room!
Even though they are older and had grown up children, I still don't like adultery!

2nd scenario:

I noticed this last week.

I saw 2 beautiful kids, a boy (about 4 years) and a girl (about 2 years) playing inside the bar. I asked my friend's wife and she said one of her customer had issues with his wife and the wife left him with the kids.

From her story, the guy use to work and provide for his family, till he lost his job and the wife couldn't cope with the hardship. She abandoned her kids and went away with a rich alhaji. This guy has been taking care of the kids....bathing and feeding them, taking them to school and bringing them back, cleaning poos, etc. His rent expired and the landlord sent him packing forcefully, after some months. The reason he stays in the bar in the mean time.

Around 8pm that day, while he was out hustling, I saw the girl sleeping in an uncomfortable manner; hitting her head on the table while she dozed off, and I just thought to myself while carrying her on my arms so she could sleep well; she's innocent. She didn't bring herself to this world. She should be on bed sleeping now. She obviously hadn't had dinner.

Why would a woman abandon her own kids? Even if u don't want the man, can't u take your kids to your parents or even siblings and look after them? Where is the love? Is marriage not in good times and in bad times anymore? I had to shed tears while pondering! I was told the man had no one in the city.

I waited till he came back and I spoke with him. He told me the same. I felt so sorry for him. He was looking so tired and stressed. I can't do more than supporting him financially with the little I can.

This has really been disturbing me. Pls ladies, if you know you're not ready to suffer with your man when things gets tough for him, don't bother going into marriage! Don't even bother. A rich man today could be poor tomorrow. Life happens....it might not be his making! Life is not always Rosy!

Our mothers suffered with our fathers when the going was tough, why can't we emulate it?

thorpido:
Wetin una dey always gain with these gender wars?

Anyway,I guess the adrenaline effect is exciting for una.

children.

elektra:
The only time cheating bothers men is when it is a woman doing it.
Look at this OP, he is not even the one being cheated on, but it worries him so much he had to open a thread about it.

The woman left the kids for her husband. Who should she have left them for? Are the kids not bearing the man’s name?
There are many women tired from raising kids by themselves, have you ever noticed anyone of them? The moment you see one man raising his kids you come to open thread.
You men should get used to raising your own bloody kids.

"...bloody kids..."??

Deandean:
I'm sorry but u are very stupid...very very stupid...if u had said these b4 me,i definitely would av hit ur mouth...

Hmmmm, pride and entitlements of African men. What is wrong with what was said. Please accept the truth, caution yourself and move on.
The woman in the second scenario didn't do well at all(her reasons best known to her though), but at the same time men should learn how to be both caregivers and providers- women have been doing it since the world began.

Fountainofyouth:
Beautifully typed!!! When I saw the taking the kids to her parents, I knew Op is delusional, is it her parents or relatives that produced the semen that birth the kids? Men will be claiming "I am responsible, I am responsible" but some are not responsible enough to single handedly take care of their own kids, na only for money dem fit claim "head of the family" smellos.

Did you just called "money" only?

elektra:
The only time cheating bothers men is when it is a woman doing it.
Look at this OP, he is not even the one being cheated on, but it worries him so much he had to open a thread about it.

The woman left the kids for her husband. Who should she have left them for? Are the kids not bearing the man’s name?
There are many women tired from raising kids by themselves, have you ever noticed anyone of them? The moment you see one man raising his kids you come to open thread.
You men should get used to raising your own bloody kids.

And what do u do when we raise kids ,,,u sit at home all day watching telemondo right