₦airaland Forum

graciously03:
It's killing me... I need friends... Dnt want to be an introvert nomore

graciously03:
It's killing me... I need friends... Dnt want to be an introvert nomore

Israel20162:
I got architect
INTJ-A /INTJ-T

Alexun:
Geez... We've gat exactly the same personalty!

Professorcplus:
MY INTROVERSION IS A BLESSING IN DISGUSSED (My Experience)
I have finally went through all the post from 1 to end at interval of 3 and I found out that we all have common trait. I wish I can meet some of you one and one but unfortunately, we are distance and spaces apart but nevertheless, we have a common platform where we can share our taught.
Don’t be saddening about you being introverted. There are encouraging comments here which shows you aren’t alone. Look beyond those bad traits and you will see the good trait of being introverted.

Introverts are always a great listeners. I still remember during University days, especially during lab I hardly ask questions because I listen attentively whereas most of my extrovert talkative peers can ask same question again and again without still gasping. There was once an instance during the lab, the lab instructor directs us on how to go about some laboratory experiment and left us to continue. After grouping us, shortly an argument broke out in my group. I told them about what I heard but some just ignore, some even said I don’t even talk or ask question. Well I realized that we weren’t going to do anything if we continue with the argument. Everyone except one other guy abandoned the setup and seek elsewhere to dub. I knew some few things about the experiment, I do the needful and I just move on fill my sheet with my observations and plot my graph ahead. Few minute to submission they came back rushing to ask what I have told them earlier but it was late. There are other experiences maybe I will share later.

Introverts are best people to confide with . I used to wonder why the pastor, or teacher always focus more on me during sermon or teaching especially in small gathering. I realized introverts are more focused and less distracted during conversation and always willing to hear out. Most time, peers just come to me for random talk about anything, I might not be interested but I try to give a listening hear about their bant. It happens to me most time and on of such was on a quite night I was alone and decided to go get fresh air around the park during uni days. Of course, there are some noise makers there which I ignored. Few minutes later, a random girl who sat at a corner came to me telling me how she detest how to environment is literally annoying and so on. She must have observed me from afar and deduced I will be willing to hear. I just have to confide with her to avoid hurting feelings.

Introverts are great thinker and have better creative minds . Introverts spend most of their time on reading, watching movie, learning skills, writing and other sort of thing that are usually uncommon among peers. This enhances them to develop a great mind and better thinker. Which is why most people usually misunderstood them. The reality is that we are all unique and we can’t be everything the society want you to be. Every time spent with you self you realized new thing and is a matter of time when the society will need people like you. So don’t be discouraged when you don’t always fit into every situation. Introversion is a gradual process and as you grow older you overcome some thing you can handle which may be shyness which gradually fades away. Feel free to share your opinion with others without worrying what if and in reality both introvert and extrovert have fears which might be different. Until you try out something, you never can tell how good you’re.

In summary worry less about things you can’t control and bad trait it is a gradually process and you will overcome it as you grow. Let me share this experience with you guys. During my days in campus I hardly go for any outing. I prefer to read alone, walk alone, and play computer game alone. I can go for weeks without calling anyone. Sometimes, I subscribe 3X bonus with my network and never use it until it expiries . Before I post anything I think about it until I won’t feel the need to post it. If there is any need to take picture, I will auto time and place my phone at any convenient area and capture myself . I hardly contribute to any bant with my roommates. People that hardly know me quick to judge and the most common attribute is proudness. Like Practically do everything myself. A friend of mine that understands my personality always encouraged me until I agreed go to a mini get together with him only once. I summoned courage but I have lot of what if in my mind. We got there and I experience what never happened to me before. I never believed I would survive. I felt like I was melting. We were 7 pairs in male and female. I was practically paired with a girl although more outspoken than me. I could not maintained eye contact at some point. We played lots of games some of which were asking your partner random questions in secret and then later will be called upon and ask any random question and your answers must tally with the answers your partner wrote on paper. I did well on the other end. Another game is you will be given a character and you have to portrait it or act it in front of everybody and your partner must guess the character. I remembered I was given a “cleaner” and I acted it well picking dirt throwing it in dustbin, dusting the table . She got it right of course after like 3 to 4 attempt but I always fail her maybe I never understands her moves. Imagine when they ask me what was your greatest fear?; and I saw my partner already penning the answer on paper and telling me I must say what I told her. I can’t bring myself to tell them “my fear is that I can’t talk to girl ” of all fears in the world. I would have entered ground if I could but yea I survive it and it was fun indeed. That little experience sharpen me a bit but I wouldn’t trade my introvert self for something else. So never feel challenged about it you will get better and if you have any introvert around you cherish them and I believe you should understand them better.

Helicobacter:
Few days ago. Left home to buy sth from a shop in the neighborhood on leaving the gate I saw a few people(ladies included) outside sitting at their corridors getting fresh air. Immediately I saw them I had this huge desire to go back in and shut the gate but I knew it would be worse as they'd notice. So I just moved on ahead to get what I wanted, it was difficult for me as I walked pass their field of view. All my discomfort disappeared as I closed the gate behind me when I returned (this of course isn't the first time I'm experiencing this). After sometime I just sat and thought for a while about my problem. I finally concluded the reason I'm not outgoing and always indoors is because I'm always ashamed of myself. This assumption made so much sense to me because in the past I'm quick to tell myself,ya I'm suffering from SAD and social phobia. I was more truthful to myself the day, and it really makes sense that I've always been ashamed of myself, explainig why I hate taking pics etc. My life ain't so bad, I'm academically sound and stuff, I'm at the uni and sometimes it feels like I'm somewhat ungrateful to God for feeling this way. I just wanted to know if anyone's also experience the same thing.

Liamm:
I can easily start a conversation but maintaining it would be a heck of a job.

Helicobacter:
Few days ago. Left home to buy sth from a shop in the neighborhood on leaving the gate I saw a few people(ladies included) outside sitting at their corridors getting fresh air. Immediately I saw them I had this huge desire to go back in and shut the gate but I knew it would be worse as they'd notice. So I just moved on ahead to get what I wanted, it was difficult for me as I walked pass their field of view. All my discomfort disappeared as I closed the gate behind me when I returned (this of course isn't the first time I'm experiencing this). After sometime I just sat and thought for a while about my problem. I finally concluded the reason I'm not outgoing and always indoors is because I'm always ashamed of myself. This assumption made so much sense to me because in the past I'm quick to tell myself,ya I'm suffering from SAD and social phobia. I was more truthful to myself the day, and it really makes sense that I've always been ashamed of myself, explainig why I hate taking pics etc. My life ain't so bad, I'm academically sound and stuff, I'm at the uni and sometimes it feels like I'm somewhat ungrateful to God for feeling this way. I just wanted to know if anyone's also experience the same thing.

Xavfra:
That's why we introverts make more sense....we try to see reasons to do things......

Kintomadit:
I’m feeling this way too and is getting me depressed. I need friends

chineduisaac:
It's okay to feel that way so go and socialize.. How you'll know that you're an introvert is that it will reach to a stage that you'll get depressed from over socializing

graciously03:
It's killing me... I need friends... Dnt want to be an introvert nomore

Poloyanabo1:
Meehn!
some people hate me because i ask a lot of logical questions trying to see reasons before acting.
Why should i act based on sentiments?

Poloyanabo1:
how can someone socialize?
how/where can i meet girls to talk to?

Am very serious bro!
i think I've forgotten, its been long i need answers

Poloyanabo1:
you're not alone bro!
i feel shy most times when am around a lot of people, I listen a lot and when i ask questions people take it as a contribution because after asking i still get to answer my questions by myself.
Am still single at 22 tho!
visited brothels severally but never did it.

Poloyanabo1:
Meehn!
some people hate me because i ask a lot of logical questions trying to see reasons before acting.
Why should i act based on sentiments?

Xavfra:
Are you a student or working or you attend a church.....

If you're a student there are alot of girls to meet forget if they are dating or not...
If you're working trying partnering with the females but not to a fault....dont fear even if they're higher than u...
If you attend a church that has a youth program or something like that then you can still meet girls....

This is me for you...
I like to share something with the girl first asin school or church or work...etc.

Xavfra:
You're are not acting on sentiments....
What you should do is to perform all your logics in private and then flow with them in public so long as it doesn't affect you personally although sometimes we need to to bend in other accommodate others

Xavfra:
Being single at 22 isn't bad ....if you need a girl....
Then check yourself...maybe you have to adjust your rules/principles which you keep...

I wish I could type more but ....

Poloyanabo1:
I'm not a student yet.
I'm working but at my workplace there are few girls who are very much older than me...
there are girls at my church but the enabling environment isn't there asin we only meet on sundays no youth meetings.

Tell me more bro

Poloyanabo1:
Can we meet on any social media?

Xavfra:
Forget about age(but keep respect in mind) you could still work out with them....but not dating or marriage cos ladies don't always date their younger ones......but u could still be friends with them like me I love to stay with older ones than my mates.....

Based on that church one....I'm not really good at that but...
Just observe the ladies and make ur choices, try getting involved with them...

Poloyanabo1:
Thank you for everything bro
I will reach out to you so we could chat more.

chineduisaac:
*1. They enjoy quietly being alone*
Yes, we actually enjoy spending time alone. In fact, we thrive off of it. It gives us a chance to gather our thoughts and recharge. It gives us time to do more things that we really like to do such as read, write, or reflect on our day. Extroverts may enjoy alone time too, but our time typically needs to be in a quiet place and for longer periods of time.
*2. They can be overwhelmed by large crowds*
We don’t typically enjoy spending long periods of time in large crowds. While we may endure it for a concert, parade, or special event, we don’t look forward to being around masses of people. After a while, it can be really overwhelming and although we may not cover our ears, scream and freak out in large crowds, we secretly wish we could.
*3. They really do like other people*
Introverts aren’t necessarily anti-social. We just don’t get energized by people and sometimes it just takes us a little longer to warm up to someone. Be patient with us. Often, we want to get to know you better before we actually show you that we enjoy your company. We do like you, even if we don’t show it!
*4. They are highly introspective*
We seek to find the deeper meaning in life, sometimes to a fault. We tend to analyze situations that really don’t need to be analyzed. If it takes us longer to understand something, it’s not because we don’t get it, it’s because we are thinking about the deeper meaning. In general, we seek to understand the deeper meaning of life.
*5. They prefer to get know fewer people on a deeper level*
Many introverts are perfectly happy with a close, small group of friends. It can be overwhelming to keep up with a lot of friends because introverts feel like they need to really know all of them. So, they may prefer to have a select group of really close friends they can get to know on a deeper level.
*6. They are great listeners*
In fact, we love to listen. It gives us a chance to really get to know someone and understand them better. Introverts are typically highly engaged with someone they want to get to know. They are easily distracted by outside stimuli that may interfere with listening, because they want to devote all of their attention to the other person.
*7. They have a lot of fun!*
Introverts are not boring people. They just like to save their best stuff for the right people in the right situation. They can act silly, crazy, be loud, and even sing karaoke! However, even reading a book can be considered fun for an introvert. Reading a book in a crowded room full of people? Not so fun.
*8. They sometimes wish they were extroverts*
I sometimes wonder what it would be like to walk into a large group of people and to instantly become energized by the people around me. I always thought it has to be cool to have that infectious energy that draws people to you. As a guy, I used to think this was the only way to get the ladies (it’s not). I love myself as an introvert, but sometimes I wish I could live it up as an extrovert.
*9. They enjoy a quiet night in*
I actually prefer to stay home on a Friday night. I may go out with friends, a party, or out to dinner, but I actually prefer to stay in and avoid the large crowds. I live in a city so it’s difficult to truly get away and spend time alone. The best place I can do this at is sitting in my living room watching a movie or reading a book.
*10. They don’t enjoy being the center of attention*
Most introverts don’t like all eyes to be on them. It can be difficult to speak up at a work meeting, deliver a speech, or answer a question in front of other people. We typically like to listen to other people’s perspective and hear what they have to say. It doesn’t mean we don’t have an opinion, but sometimes it’s hard to articulate what we’re thinking.
*11. They don’t necessarily have fun at parties*
Even if everyone is having a great time, it doesn’t necessarily mean that an introvert will. A party with a lot of people just isn’t always fun. We know it’s supposed to be fun bu, large numbers of people in small spaces actually make us feel uncomfortable. It doesn’t mean we aren’t fun people or don’t enjoy people, it’s just hard to be ourselves in large groups.
*12. They don’t like to talk about themselves*
Introverts typically don’t like to brag about themselves. They are more interested in getting to know the other person first. They often have a lot to offer to a conversation but sometimes wonder if they add any value to a conversation. Also, they just don’t want to come across as a too much of a know-it-all. In other words, we might not say out loud how “stoked” we are about something.
*13. They want to really get to know you*
We like to build honest, authentic, “real” relationships. Sometimes it doesn’t come across that way initially because we can be guarded. However, we are interested in you and what you have to say. It just takes us a little more time to open up. We secretly revel in the excitement of getting to know someone better.
*14. They work better in small groups*
Employers should know that we prefer to work in small groups because it’s just easier for us to do it and we actually perform better. It’s also easier to speak up with fewer eyes watching you. We also like to get to know each individual in these small groups, because it’s less overwhelming when we don’t feel as if we have to know everyone in a large group.
*15. They notice things other people might miss*
Introverts are valued assets in the workplace because they often notice details that others might miss. Because they are deeply introspective, introverts might be able to come up with a potential solution to a problem that may have been overlooked. They may not speak up about it but doesn’t mean that they aren’t thinking about it. In fact, studies confirm that introverts can be great leaders, too.
*16. They easily see other people’s point of view*
They are typically empathetic to other people and what they have to say Even if they don’t agree with the other person, they make a good effort to see things from their perspective. They strive to get to know other people in all situations before judging or making the other person feel inadequate.
*17. They aren’t necessarily shy*
Shyness and introversion get lumped together because many of the traits between the two overlap. Sometimes an introvert isn’t afraid to meet other people, but they just prefer to do it in their own way. In fact, extroverts can be shy! A well-known Stanford researcher points out that many public figures are both extroverted and shy.
*18. They are drained by high energy people*
High energy people can be exhausting for introverts. They often feel like they have to match that level of intensity and may feel uncomfortable when they don’t. Introverts may need breaks from these high energy situations because unlike extroverts, they don’t become energized by these people. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
*19. They like to take things slow*
Sometimes it just takes us introverts a little longer to move forward. We like to weigh all of our options and look at all possible outcomes before making a final decision. This can also be detrimental to us because we tend to analyze things too much. So, don’t take it personally if we just aren’t quite ready to take that next step.
*20. They are not just introverts*
Being labeled as an introvert can immediately put someone in a category. Although it is a useful term that people can relate to, it doesn’t define who they are. There are many types of introverts and many variations within those types. More than anything, introverts are people first. Being an introvert is just one aspect of who a person is. Many people fall into a continuum of traits and exhibit extroverted traits AND introverted traits.
One definition certainly doesn’t define who I am, yet it’s helpful to understand that I am not the only one who experiences these personality traits. We aren’t crazy, we aren’t boring, and we aren’t anti-social. We may be some of these at times, but who isn’t?!
In general, introverts are just people who prefer to slow it down a little and re-energize themselves from a quiet place of peace and tranquility.