WilliamsTheGrea:
Hello everyone, my name is Williams, I'm a young guy of 26 years old currently engaged to a very pretty young lady who is 24 years old

I do business online and earn good income before I decided to find a lady and settle down with and luckily I found a good one who is decent and don't flirt around or do social media's like whatsapp or Facebook. Hardly receives calls, not friendly with males lol (I managed to woo her through a church member)

We have been 1 year into the relationship now and we are to get married next month but guys the problem I am having now is that she has a child for another man which is her ex she was with when she was young she gave birth at age 20, we dated for about 7 months before she told me this.

Ever since then I haven't really been myself, the child is a male child who lives with her mother but recently the mother called her to come carry the child as she can no longer look after him due to him being a very stubborn boy, the child is 4 years old.

Now she has gone to bring the child to our home, a two bedroom apartment, I'm a kind of guy who loves peaceful environment with no single drop of noise, now ever since the child came in about a week now, I have not had peace, we have quarreled several times because of the child, I'm not really comfortable with the child because I can't love another man's child as my own

My girlfriend is yet to give me a child of my own, the child runs around and doesn't listen except when beaten and each time I beat the boy up when he does wrong my girlfriend looks at me with hatred like I'm maltreating the boy because I'm not the father.

Please guys help me I don't know what to do but I can't cope with the child, I remember paying the child school fees about 3 times since we are together because the child's father isn't doing anything at all.

Now today is the child's birthday and she is asking me for money to get him cake and take him out.


My people of nairaland I cannot accept another man's child no matter what I love the mother but not the child the connection is just now there because the boy isn't of my character I'm a calm man, very calm but the boy is very radical and stubborn children irritate me so much.

I don't know what to do.

Each time this child topic comes up between I and my girlfriend she becomes bitter.

She says she will never take the child to the father or the family of the father that she must raise the child herself.

I don't think I can help train anothrr man child whom in the end will go and find his father after he is all grown.

Please I need advice, she says over her death body will she return the child to the father

I'm not comfortable in my own home.

A lot of things running through my mind like to break up with her for peace to reign

Or rent another apartment for her and the boy to go live in.

Please I need matured advice

MrSquint:
I have two questions for you:
1. What would you do if the child were yours, with a bit of stubbornness? and

2. Can you randomly do good to people that are not related to you ?

The people we call children MUST NOT be our biological children alone. Just go ahead and do good without expecting a reward.

That child is innocent and is in need of parenting to help him build a good character. You've just said his mom is good, do you want to lose a good woman bcus she has a son. That's not fair.

I understand your fears though and I'll say it's natural to feel the way you feel, considering what your family and friends would say. But pls build yourself to grow pass such thoughts and concerns.

Do Good regardless
Love Regardless

samuelshosanya:
you even try oooooooo to even bring in a child that she did not tell you at the beginning of the relationship

Omar09:


I have finally discovered his gender! I have finally discovered CAPSLOCKED gender! He's a dude, guys! He's a dude!


Yeah at least you get my point being that op couldn't tolerate that kid cause it's not his biological kid and this is the problem most men face when married to SM.

YOU'LL OFTEN HEAR MOTHERS SAY "IF TO SAY NO BE ME BORN THIS PIKIN EH... "
EVEN MOMS GET TIRED OF THEIR OWN ROUGH KIDS . I DON'T BLAME THIS MAN.

WilliamsTheGrea:


I do graphic design and I sell social media followers and likes and affordable price for Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn etc.

Chocolatte01:
This thread would soon get run down by Nairaland's alphas. None of whom would put their sentiments aside and comment without bias...
Op it's obvious the relationship wouldn't work out well because you do not love the child. It's not the womans fault but yours. The child might not be bad but your dislike for raising up another man's son would blind you of any of the kid's good points.
You mentioned that you love peace. If you have a child with your girlfriend, would he/her disturb too?
Don't waste either your time or hers. Simply let go now...
But if she's so good as you have portrayed, know you might be throwing away a diamond to later pick up a mere stone.

CAPSLOCKED:


THERE ARE SOME CRAZY KIDS. WE CAN ALL AGREE WITH THIS?
YOU'LL OFTEN HEAR MOTHERS SAY "IF TO SAY NO BE ME BORN THIS PIKIN EH... "
EVEN MOMS GET TIRED OF THEIR OWN ROUGH KIDS . I DON'T BLAME THIS MAN.

decub:

What I admire about your post is your sincerity when you said you can't look after another man's child. Well, it's your choice.

If I may ask, do you really love this girl and do you also think she loves you too? If yes, then there's absolutely nothing wrong in loving another man's child and taking care of him especially when you love his mother; he's only an innocent child. You bring in another round of blessing when that child takes you as his father.

However, you really need to sit this lady down and talk sense into her cos if she can't allow you train that child like you would train your own child, then it's better both of you part ways now that there's still time. Personally, I detest when you bring in a child to my home and in a bid to give him the best and what I feel is morally right, you turn around to play the emotional blackmail card.

Evercurious:


And what happened to the child's biological dad? Pls.let's learn to choose our battles. Op doesnt want this battle . So let's just allow him

Abfinest007:
stop being self-center if she is good marry her since u said she well behaved is hard to see a woman who is submittive .


one problem i have with single mothers is that. when u offend them they will go n post d picture of eir son or daughter saying" my pride .she/he is all i got

kels2010:
She and the child is the complete package if you want the girl be ready to take the child too.. Beside what's there to take of an innocent child who only needs a good father figure in his life

ubunja:
I wonder how her life was before the kid slowed her down. Lmfao.

WilliamsTheGrea:


I do graphic design and I sell social media followers and likes and affordable price for Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn etc.

LOGOBELT:


I can't believe this comment is from a woman

WilliamsTheGrea:


I do graphic design and I sell social media followers and likes and affordable price for Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn etc.

daddytime:
Wow.....

I'm sitting here and just wondering how you'd handle your own blood if he or she turns out to be more hyper than your babe's son.

You mentioned how you hate noise of any sort, let's just say you definitely ain't prepared to have any kids of your own.

It is obvious you have zero love for this kid and I'm afraid to tell you that, you can't love a momma and hate her toddler kid. From the woman's side, that'd be a no-no.

It's best to "die" this relationship and bury whatever it is you feel for this woman because e no go work.

It's a good thing you are letting it out on how you truly feel instead of to go dey use shame chop winch.

Meat wey person dey forbid e no dey use teeth share am.

If you can't love a kid no matter the circumstance, you'd have same problems with yours for sure and you'd be venting out your frustrations on your spouse and before you'd say Buha....you don open another thread here say your one year marriage don get k-leg.

A child will always return the vibe given. In his innocence, he's able to pick up on your hatred for him which of course won't help him love you in return and the subtle tantrums is what you'll get as his way of protesting/rebelling. Show him some love and you'll be amazed how calm he'd become.

I pray you grow up fast and find a way to handle this pretty well.

Let her go bro....

WilliamsTheGrea:


Do you think it's easy to look a child who you didn't give birth to biologically and invest your money and time in that child?

I'm not impotent I can have my own child. I want to take care of my own child.

WilliamsTheGrea:


I do graphic design and I sell social media followers and likes and affordable price for Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn etc.

Dpaulie:
You don’t have what it takes to marry a single mother that’s tolerance and understanding, you are pissed off because the innocent boy plays around? Continue beating him until you kill him with your nonsense beating, you sef pass beating? Come to my house and she how troublesome my five years old son is, yet he’s my best friend and I love him that way.. are u saying there’s nothing good about that little angel (the boy) with you? For me my “troublesome “ lil Em is the best thing that has ever happened to my life, and I’m very sure that ur girlfriend boy can never as troublesome as my lil Em

WilliamsTheGrea:
Hello everyone, my name is Williams, I'm a young guy of 26 years old currently engaged to a very pretty young lady who is 24 years old

I do business online and earn good income before I decided to find a lady and settle down with and luckily I found a good one who is decent and don't flirt around or do social media's like whatsapp or Facebook. Hardly receives calls, not friendly with males lol (I managed to woo her through a church member)

We have been 1 year into the relationship now and we are to get married next month but guys the problem I am having now is that she has a child for another man which is her ex she was with when she was young she gave birth at age 20, we dated for about 7 months before she told me this.

Ever since then I haven't really been myself, the child is a male child who lives with her mother but recently the mother called her to come carry the child as she can no longer look after him due to him being a very stubborn boy, the child is 4 years old.

Now she has gone to bring the child to our home, a two bedroom apartment, I'm a kind of guy who loves peaceful environment with no single drop of noise, now ever since the child came in about a week now, I have not had peace, we have quarreled several times because of the child, I'm not really comfortable with the child because I can't love another man's child as my own

My girlfriend is yet to give me a child of my own, the child runs around and doesn't listen except when beaten and each time I beat the boy up when he does wrong my girlfriend looks at me with hatred like I'm maltreating the boy because I'm not the father.

Please guys help me I don't know what to do but I can't cope with the child, I remember paying the child school fees about 3 times since we are together because the child's father isn't doing anything at all.

Now today is the child's birthday and she is asking me for money to get him cake and take him out.


My people of nairaland I cannot accept another man's child no matter what I love the mother but not the child the connection is just now there because the boy isn't of my character I'm a calm man, very calm but the boy is very radical and stubborn children irritate me so much.

I don't know what to do.

Each time this child topic comes up between I and my girlfriend she becomes bitter.

She says she will never take the child to the father or the family of the father that she must raise the child herself.

I don't think I can help train anothrr man child whom in the end will go and find his father after he is all grown.

Please I need advice, she says over her death body will she return the child to the father

I'm not comfortable in my own home.

A lot of things running through my mind like to break up with her for peace to reign

Or rent another apartment for her and the boy to go live in.

Please I need matured advice

WilliamsTheGrea:


Do you think it's easy to look a child who you didn't give birth to biologically and invest your money and time in that child?

I'm not impotent I can have my own child. I want to take care of my own child.

ubunja:
Find your own girl to give a baby. Don't settle for left overs

No matter how well-behaved and loving a single mother is, remember she's well behaved and loving BECAUSE SHE WANTS YOU TO RAISE HER KID. Never forget. If she didn't have that kid she wouldn't be talking to you in the first place. Just remember.

ALPHA FVCKS, BETA BUCKS

Bad Boys impregnate, Simps raise.