Sixfeetbelle:


It's not. Insinuations and valid statements are never the same in a court of law, so I won't claim one yeye prize

Besides, that I suggested he might be 'molesting' her isn't exactly encompassing. He could be initiating her into witchcraft, cannibalism or the extreme: brainwashing her to be against her mother. I don't believe these two instances are categorised under molestation. (Correct me if I'm wrong)

Try harder. Your weak argument has not been able to create a hole big enough to wriggle your bulky self out. Next time you want to comment on a public forum, remember that not everyone is tolerant of dumb comments.

Dear OP when you get your son apologize to him for neglecting him all this while, show him love and let him know that he is very important to you, But please l beg you train him well with the fear of God and with God on your side you will be proud of him.
For your husband, don't resent him plead with him still .
But please in everything your children comes first.

Oyindidi:
Watin dey pain you this afternoon? She is doing well for herself, oya start crying

Na dis type go dey beg man for recharge card like dis.

Amumaigwe:


Try harder. Your weak argument has not been able to create a hole big enough to wriggle your bulky self out. Next time you want to comment on a public forum, remember that not everyone is tolerant of dumb comments.

If you're fond of projecting your unhappy self on others just to provoke them, I'd like to let you know, it won't work on me.

No he didn't.
By being dishonest about his intentions and separating she and her son with false promises, he has done her no good cos apparently, she will choose her son over the fake marriage.
.

BoboKush:



Didn't he...?

Psoul:


Bros, it's not easy to accept another man's child. Only few of "us" (I inclusive) can do dat
Especially when the child is a boy
And you are yet to get ur own boy
And he will likely live with you for a verrrrry lonnng time
You have not lost hope of child bearing.
It will be easier for a childless old man.
The woman has failed to do more to convince the man and still douse his fears.
She is just only taken over by emotion.
Men don't consider emotions in this kind of matter. They listen to rational words.

I guess I am a bit different because I do not see much difference except he as the head of the home wants to let them know they are. I have friends whose one parent had kids outside of wedlock and the only indicator in most cases are the different surnames. More so, growing up, we had different relatives who lived with us and I have neighbors in same situation and we do not see ourselves different. For most of my brothers and sisters, people find it hard to understand we are not related but my community was tight and knit. We never learned segregation and I would do all to ensure I do not segregate as well.

ejanla077:


Na dis type go dey beg man for recharge card like dis.

Lol, i beg you?

Pemivy01:
Dear OP when you get your son apologize to him for neglecting him all this while, show him love and let him know that he is very important to you, But please l beg you train him well with the fear of God and with God on your side you will be proud of him.
For your husband, don't resent him plead with him still .
But please in everything your children comes first.

So how will this your input work considering everything the poster told us?

Oyindidi:
Is he Nigerian politicians? Free the boy joor

Lol

Oyindidi:
You no be papa yet so you fit come up with silly logic like that one.
Weak men everywhere

Let me shock u a bit young man.

I am 22yrs in marriage. I have 3kids
1st child will graduate dis yr. 2nd is 3rd yr Architecture Student
3rd is just gained admission to study Law.

Then my wife has a younger sister.
Unfortunately she got pregnant. Everyone from the family was angry with her cos the parents are staunch members of Assemblies of God Church.
The girl ran away from the house.

I mandated my wife that they must trace where the girl is before anything bad happens to her.
The parents(my Inlaws) were not interested and even preferred her not bn around.
I insisted that they must trace where she was. With my help, my wife was was able to locate her in another town living with the young boy that impregnated her.
The boy was struggling to live.
I and my wife was providing for them till the girl delivered her child.
The boy abandoned them and ran away.
When I noticed this I told my wife that we must bring her sister back.
She told me that her parents will never allow her to come near the house.
I told her that I will take them to my house.
We brought them back to my house.

We got job for the young mother.
The baby is now 9years.
So many ppl don't know she is not my biological child.
She calls me daddy, my wife mommy and her mom, Aunty.

I have long reconciled her with her parents and all is happy now.

So when we all come here to exchange ideas or to while away time, don't think that all you see here are idle and useless youths. Most of us are responsible fathers. So park very well.

All of una wey dey talk say d guy na superstar for marrying a woman with two kids... Thunder faya una blokos n toto...
Did they force him to marry her
Abi she paid him to marry her??
Abi e no get wetin e see for d woman body before e marry am..
Now u hear her say she does pay 70% of the bill..
Aunty OP, make I ask u... Ehn, na who tell u say if u no marry.. U cant be successful??
Abi since when has marriage bcom a part of d measurement for success
Make I tell u OP, if ur hubby no gree make ur son come leave with u.. It's time u set ur priorities right even if it would mean ending d marriage...
Is love not suppose to look beyond flaws how much more u have no flaws here...
If u don't take care of ur son... No one will ooo..
Ojo oloju ko le dabi oju Eni....
Na ur son.. And na u must I repeat na you must to take care of am ooo

Psoul:


Let me shock u a bit young man.

I am 22yrs in marriage. I have 3kids
1st child will graduate dis yr. 2nd is 3rd yr Architecture Student
3rd is just gained admission to study Law.

Then my wife have a younger sister.
Unfortunately she got pregnant. Everyone from the family was angry with her cos the parents are staunch members of Assemblies of God Church.
The girl ran away from the house.

I mandated my wife that they must trace where the girl is before anything bad happens to her.
The parents(my Inlaws) were not interested and even preferred her not bn around.
I insisted that they must trace where she was. With my help, my was was able to locate her in another town living with the young boy that impregnated her.
The boy was struggling to live.
I and my wife was providing for them till the girl delivered her child.
The boy abandoned them and ran away.
When I noticed this I told my wife that we must bring her sister back.
She told me that her parents will never allow her to come near the house.
I told her that I will take then to my house.
We brought them back to my house.

We got job for the young mother.
The baby is now 9years.
So many ppl don't know she is not my biological child.
She calls my daddy, my wife mommy and her mom, Aunty.

I have long reconciled her with her parents and all is happy now.

So when we all come here to exchange ideas or to while away time, don't think that all you see here are idle and useless youth. Most of us are responsible fathers. So park very well.

Oga, what if the boy na your son, you go throway am? I no read your story

elladara:


This could be very true especially when you are unfortunate to have child/children for family that care less and does not appreciate relationships . i have a daughter of 6 years, her father is at least 85 percent responsible, i mean he pays her bills most especially school bills and send monthly allowance and am financially okay to an extent as well, so with the grace of God my daughter gets what she needs. we are not married and we cant marry as he as moved on. none of his family asked of the child not for a day, i stopped calling and visiting them 3 years and some months ago when i realized i worth more than what am getting.

Madam i can understand what you can be going through, my advice is pls dont trade your son/children for anything. if you are financially okay, have a discussion with you husband that you want to enroll him to a boarding school and he would only be coming over for holiday. or get a room apartment and get a nanny for him while you go visiting.

God will bless u for the advice

Davash222:
Your siblings that are your relatives doesn't want the boy but you want your husband that is not your relative to accept the boy
You should learn to attend to your responsibilities and mistakes. Don't drag your mistakes to that innocent man. He has done more than enough for you.

Marrying a Nigerian girl with two children(not even one) is not what every man can do. That man deserves peace and respect from you.

Spoken like a true selfish and backward headed Nigerian man
Would you leave your own son outside your home to be maltreated?!

Tueh!!!!

jesmond3945:
Op that boy is your son and blood. He is growing up with resentment and hatred in his heart. it is a matter of time it will come crashing down and he would never forgive you or his dad. Thank God you are footing the bill. The mistake you made was to remarry. it never ends well. Reach out to his father if you have his contact, if that fails. Plead with your husband one more time on bended knees with weeping, if that fails. Then go for your son, if it means leaving the house. This is because as long as he is away from you, happinesss and peace of mind eludes you.

I support

Psoul:


You read the post without understanding it's content.

The woman said they agreed to bring his boy home when they are able to improve their standard of living and probably move into a bigger apartment.
The 3yr old give was with the woman and she moved into the man's house together with the baby.

I beliv the man would've still accepted to bring the boy in if not for the latest story he heard about the boy and also how everyone rejected him based on that criminal act.

You girls should know how to handle serious issues. That's why most of you have problems in family.
The woman should forget about who will provide for the boy and focus on letting her husband know the need to provide shelter to the boy.
The need to save that boy from the hand of his tormentors and how to rehabilitate him.
Tell her husband how her mind will be restless if his boy continue to stay with another woman that will prefer to kill him than train him.
Rather she was flexing muscle that money will not be a problem and he should just let the boy come in.

Sixfeetbelle, I was expecting you to reason above emotion and be more rational.

Don't mention me if you didn't read my initial comment on this thread.

This particular response here is to reply a guy who was trying to be one-sided about the issue. One guy even suggested divorce and I shut him down.

Thank you.

Davash222:

I do this, I do that... abeg make we hear word.
Take the boy to his dad!

She pays it..doesn’t she?
You guys taya me aswear with your stupid desires to be served like a god!

Psoul:


Let me shock u a bit young man.

I am 22yrs in marriage. I have 3kids
1st child will graduate dis yr. 2nd is 3rd yr Architecture Student
3rd is just gained admission to study Law.

Then my wife have a younger sister.
Unfortunately she got pregnant. Everyone from the family was angry with her cos the parents are staunch members of Assemblies of God Church.
The girl ran away from the house.

I mandated my wife that they must trace where the girl is before anything bad happens to her.
The parents(my Inlaws) were not interested and even preferred her not bn around.
I insisted that they must trace where she was. With my help, my was was able to locate her in another town living with the young boy that impregnated her.
The boy was struggling to live.
I and my wife was providing for them till the girl delivered her child.
The boy abandoned them and ran away.
When I noticed this I told my wife that we must bring her sister back.
She told me that her parents will never allow her to come near the house.
I told her that I will take then to my house.
We brought them back to my house.

We got job for the young mother.
The baby is now 9years.
So many ppl don't know she is not my biological child.
She calls my daddy, my wife mommy and her mom, Aunty.

I have long reconciled her with her parents and all is happy now.

So when we all come here to exchange ideas or to while away time, don't think that all you see here are idle and useless youth. Most of us are responsible fathers. So park very well.

Tears in my eyes right now.

God bless you Sir.

My heart bleeds for that young 12 year old boy. The part where u said he was beaten like an animal made me cry. Am sure u hardly visited these past three years. Please do all u can to have your son with u. Your husband now sees him as a thief forgetting that that boy moved out for his convenience. The heart of African man is black if I'm to judge from the comments I read Here today. If u show ur son adequate love and care and also PRAY for him, he will turn out fyn. But how did u sleep well these past three years? The issues with your husband should be handled with wisdom and maturity but don't back down on taking back your son. I have three children and I can do anything for them. Cheers

Psoul:


This is a very petty thought. Devilish in nature.
Did u read the post at all?

The man never chose the child to accept between the boy and the girl.
The son (12yrs) was already living with the woman's brother while the woman was living with her 3yr old daughter when she got married to the man.

Hw can u insinuate that the man accepted the female child in order to defile her.
This is devilish.

You're allowed to reach whatever conclusion you will.

crackkhaus:

Sorry, you can't take that one back.

Just making insinuations is equally as valid as explicitly stating what you think, especially when you typed out these insinuations instead of just leaving it buried in your thoughts.

Claim your prize, don't be shy...

classic

letskeeptalking:


You foot 70% of bills in your house and yet you allow your husband to dictate to you what to do with your own son.

Madam, I don't think you are a serious person.

Personally I will rather be single than be with a man who will stand between me and my children. Even if I have to live in poverty. But you are financially capable, you just want to answer 'Mrs' at the expense of your child.

After bouncing him off relatives for years, you are now using your husband as an excuse to run from your duty.

Shame!

Aswear!!

Imagine!!!

Vyvyanvyvy:

Thanks I will rather be alone with my children . I’m thinking of going there on Sunday to pick him up from my brother and I will let him do his worst. If he denied him access to the house then I’m ready to quit

Very very very very beautiful decision.....
God bless you...
Just do that...
If worse come to push.. We nairalander go contribute money for ur to rent a new apartment ooo...
Ko ni si ewu

martowskin1:


Funny how u all attack the man, but not the father who ran away from his responsibilities. The man hold that child nothing. He have father and his father have families.

The boy won't answer his name, what are u guys saying

He tried enough to even accept one of the kids.

The solution is, send the boy to boarding school, during holidays he can come home spend few weeks and go back to school.

So d man that ran away, we shd blame a faceless person abi... Or where can we find him to reprimand him??
Abeg dat one no be talk ooo..
Lets help this woman keep her home and her son

It is crazy that this is even up for discussion. What are you doing with a man that doesn't want your son with him? Are you sure that's your son truly?

Isn't it better to raise your kids alone in peace and love?

martowskin1:


See ur mouth, am ready to quit, na this man u want to form smartness for, why didn't u act smart for the one that ran away from his responsibilities.

Keep quiting, is obvious u are very bad with making decisions, that is why u could have kids for a !man who ran away from them.

Trust me, that man is better off from u and ur baggages

You are a fool

Miarose:
Good Question.

He has slept with over 200 girls but wants to meet a virgin. HEHEHEHEHE

Isn’t that the reason for wanting a virgin..??.when all his life he has been meeting ladies with body counts above 15....

That’s why good, inexperienced geeks marry the prostitutess and the Yoruba demons get the virgins....

Dexlomo:


I guess I am a bit different because I do not see much difference except he as the head of the home wants to let them know they are. I have friends whose one parent had kids outside of wedlock and the only indicator in most cases are the different surnames. More so, growing up, we had different relatives who lived with us and I have neighbors in same situation and we do not see ourselves different. For most of my brothers and sisters, people find it hard to understand we are not related but my community was tight and knit. We never learned segregation and I would do all to ensure I do not segregate as well.

Yes, all of us can't be d same or have same character. What u find acceptable might not be to the other man. So, we should also see things from other ppl's point of view in order to strike a good balance.

My wife's younger sister had a baby out of wedlock. Everyone was angry with her and abandoned her. I told my wife that I cannot be part of that. I pressed it on her that we MUST take in the child and the baby. Though the girl ran away to stay wt the guy that got her pregnant. When the baby was delivered, the young boy ran away and left my wife's sister stranded in that city.

I still pressed on my wife that we must go and get them before anything bad happens to them.

The child has bn with me till date and I don't even have any plan of letting her leave my house. She is 9yrs now.
Everyone think that she is my biological child. She calls me Daddy and sees my wife as her mom while her biological mother is an Auntie to her.
She does not know her real story for now.

I love her just the same way I love my own biological kids.
The only difference is that she answers a surname different from my kids.

So, all of us are different. That you can do it should not make u think that the other man that cannot readily do it is wicked.

It is because Nigerian women keep wanting to answer MRS all the damn time!

How can you let your son be suffering because of another human who doesn’t give a damn in the name of marriage.
You already had two kids and doing well.
You don’t wanna be single? Keep relationships!
I swear to God that kid will hate you to pieces!
And yes he will hate you more than even those maltreating him because you have ABANDONED HIM,
his OWN MOTHER!
You don’t have an idea what the feeling of abandonment can do.
Make hay while there is still sun!

Vyvyanvyvy:

I will not take him anywhere why does he have to live like an orphan whyle im alive ? To be honest My son is more important than my marriage and it’s my responsibilities to protect him

Why did you have to remarry and hope to aggregate your children from different men under one roof? How is that possible? From your comment, you can't even trust your baby daddy's relations with their own flesh and blood. This means that you must have contested fiercely for those children's custody and won. Oya na, perform the duty you fully signed for, you want to hear it on an unwilling man.
Most men are lovers of children irrespective of peternity. But with the confrontational attitude and strong will you have exhibited here, i can understand why your husband is uncompromising. Go on your knees and beg your husband and see the magic embedded in meekness. It is worth your peace of mind.

revolt:
ofcos ..so says an ediotic single mum. You bang bring out a child and suddenly expect someone else to carry responsibility. Damaged thinkers.

Because she is a single mom doesn’t make her an idiot
And no one is asking anyone to carry responsibility..
She is gonna pay her son’s tuition and all
From my point of view you are the idiot!

The man in the house should have no fears as ALL the kids are hers. It is only a foolish woman that will segregate her kids. The Op should help her son know God more and to fear God.

All those guys bashing the Op that she is 70% financially okay ain't serious, if she said she had nothing doing and depending on her husband they will give her names like olosho and gold digger.

Nairaland boys, get sense biko.