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Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man - Romance (24) - Nairaland

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Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Nobody: 10:46am On Apr 21, 2020
YeribanzavsAfon:


Miss "we Imolites" go and hang yourself Afonja.. You have been busted now you are angry grin grin cheesy cheesy.
I have nothing to prove to you. I'm an indigene of Imo state. Go and hang yourself.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Giwoni: 10:46am On Apr 21, 2020
Theicecode:
I need to flog sense into you.
Even one can do more than that, I would have appreciated. Every form of insults to me are highly welcomed. May God bless you all who have tried in one way or the other to make me a better person. I must tell you all that I have learnt.

1 Like

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Nwabundo38(f): 10:47am On Apr 21, 2020
Giwoni:
My Love Experience

Good day NLanders

I'm a medical student, and gf ( not sure what to call her now) is in MLS. We are both in same level (500l).

It all started in 2015, when we gained admission into the University. We began to read together and subsequently I started teaching her. Later on, she made me to read and susummarize her course topics (which I did for up to her 300 level) for her as she usually found it difficult to read with textbooks and understand the contents.

Months before my 2nd MBBS examinations, I began to notice changes in her attitude and behaviour towards me, up to the point that she told me that if I did not pass that examinations that, she will forget about me. But as God may have it, I passed successfully.

Financially, it started right in year one as I celebrated her and her mummy's Christmas from my own pocket. It got to a point that I usually give her her money almost every day (for up to 5yrs) Whenever, I'm traveling in any of our vacations, I usually give money for upkeep until I'm back.

In 300l, I bought her gift worth almost 30k and also celebrated her birthday which she demanded I get her 'point and kill cat fish' that cost 9k.

I usually pay for her textbooks and seminar work as we are all in medical school, I really do a lot for her, as she always told me she would never leave me right from yr 1 to 500l after which she started telling me, their people from Anambra will not let her marry people from Ebonyi State.

She's has known this for all her life, but decided to bring it up just now, when I'm beginning my marriage plans with her, She's started giving me unnecessary excuses in one form or the other.

In 400L, my elder brother told me that I should leave my medical school here to go and study the same medicine abroad. Because of her, I told him that I want to finish my school here since I am already in 400 level. That after my MBBS degree, I can then go abroad for my Masters degree...

This January, my elder brother told me that since I would be graduating in 2022 (which supposed to be 2021 but due to strike before the 2019 election) which is two years time, that I should be planning to get married before I leave this country.

This made me to ask her again if we are ending up together and she told me that she has to seek for her mother's consent, and would give me a feedback.

Before, she travelled (this is just before the lock down) as she was complaining that she does not have any money on her to eat and she want to go and learn how to plait hair which will cost her #8,000, I gave her #16,000. The next day after collecting the money, she told me that she received a call from her mother that she must come back to her State and she travelled with that money without learning anything.

Yesterday by 8:24pm, I called her to tell me the outcome of her mother's discussion with her. She told me that her mother insisted that she cannot marry an Ebonyi man, and she cannot go outside her mother's decision.

In conclusion, she told me that she cannot marry me.

Well, as expected, I'm bracing myself up for insults, (I really don't mind this right now) but amidst the insults, pls advice a brother who's fighting emotionally.

thanks
Sorry for what you had to go through.
You just have to forget her and move on.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by omohlexy: 10:48am On Apr 21, 2020
OK, let me ask you some few questions 1. Were you good in bed or you were a one minute man who doesn't do 69? 2. Were you always nagging about the things you do for her just like you did here by telling us you bought her fish of 9k? Your answer will help me know if you chased this lovely girl away by yourself.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by OriOko88(m): 10:50am On Apr 21, 2020
[quote author=Dara30 post=88670667][/quote] You're d sister
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by 2kurupt(m): 10:50am On Apr 21, 2020
Giwoni:
archaic mentality which was rampant in the 15th century is working on their 21st century generations which is a big problem for them. How can ones parents determine who their daughters or sons will marry? What if it did not go well with whom they chose for their children? May God almighty heal all of them for their shallow mindedness. Some of them claim to even be Christians and they never come across where the Bible says in the book of revelation that there should be no decriminalization be it tribe, or any form among the Christians.

Don't get it twisted, that girl never loved you from the onset. Anambra ladies marry outside if they truly want to, I know because I am a Rivers man married to an Anambra lady.

Sorry for your loss. So much advice have been given here, hope you've learnt your lessons?

When next you plan to go into another relationship remember to begin with the end in mind.

1 Like

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by YeribanzavsAfon: 10:53am On Apr 21, 2020
Rossycee:

The fact still remains that Anambarians discriminate alot. They have this idea instilled in them which make them feel they are better than others. An anambra man might wish to marry from Abia or imo but this their 'our mother said' syndrome won't let them. Their parents always influences their marriage and still decide who they marry. This is not about one or two scenarios, do a research and you will find out for yourself.

All what you are saying here is new to me because i have not made attempt to mingle outside Imo so i wouldn't speak about that maybe you people that have been discriminated against will tell me, as for me and most Imolites we do not marry outside our state that's all. . But to play the devil's advocate though i think it is a matter of choice that someone may decide to marry from his state like me and i wont be surprised if someone says Imolites discriminate too. When you get to [Plateau state the Igbos getting married to Jos women at an officially alarming rate are all Anambra men, you can hardly see a man from Imo who is not married to an Imo woman.
So if Amanbra can marry Plateau in droves this "our mother said" of a thing does not count when a man or woman is in love that's it unless he or she never intended to marry you period.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by SirBunky85(m): 10:53am On Apr 21, 2020
Giwoni:
My Love Experience

Good day NLanders

I'm a medical student, and gf ( not sure what to call her now) is in MLS. We are both in same level (500l).

It all started in 2015, when we gained admission into the University. We began to read together and subsequently I started teaching her. Later on, she made me to read and susummarize her course topics (which I did for up to her 300 level) for her as she usually found it difficult to read with textbooks and understand the contents.

Months before my 2nd MBBS examinations, I began to notice changes in her attitude and behaviour towards me, up to the point that she told me that if I did not pass that examinations that, she will forget about me. But as God may have it, I passed successfully.

Financially, it started right in year one as I celebrated her and her mummy's Christmas from my own pocket. It got to a point that I usually give her her money almost every day (for up to 5yrs) Whenever, I'm traveling in any of our vacations, I usually give money for upkeep until I'm back.

In 300l, I bought her gift worth almost 30k and also celebrated her birthday which she demanded I get her 'point and kill cat fish' that cost 9k.

I usually pay for her textbooks and seminar work as we are all in medical school, I really do a lot for her, as she always told me she would never leave me right from yr 1 to 500l after which she started telling me, their people from Anambra will not let her marry people from Ebonyi State.

She's has known this for all her life, but decided to bring it up just now, when I'm beginning my marriage plans with her, She's started giving me unnecessary excuses in one form or the other.

In 400L, my elder brother told me that I should leave my medical school here to go and study the same medicine abroad. Because of her, I told him that I want to finish my school here since I am already in 400 level. That after my MBBS degree, I can then go abroad for my Masters degree...

This January, my elder brother told me that since I would be graduating in 2022 (which supposed to be 2021 but due to strike before the 2019 election) which is two years time, that I should be planning to get married before I leave this country.

This made me to ask her again if we are ending up together and she told me that she has to seek for her mother's consent, and would give me a feedback.

Before, she travelled (this is just before the lock down) as she was complaining that she does not have any money on her to eat and she want to go and learn how to plait hair which will cost her #8,000, I gave her #16,000. The next day after collecting the money, she told me that she received a call from her mother that she must come back to her State and she travelled with that money without learning anything.

Yesterday by 8:24pm, I called her to tell me the outcome of her mother's discussion with her. She told me that her mother insisted that she cannot marry an Ebonyi man, and she cannot go outside her mother's decision.

In conclusion, she told me that she cannot marry me.

Well, as expected, I'm bracing myself up for insults, (I really don't mind this right now) but amidst the insults, pls advice a brother who's fighting emotionally.

thanks
I don't blame the girl totally.most people from anambra see people from ebonyi state as archaic and less igbo.during my days at ebsu,d way anambra people talked down on ebonyains was pathetic.the mum might still harbour such silly sentiments which made her not to refuse her daughter to get married to an ebonyi man
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Electroweb(m): 10:53am On Apr 21, 2020
Wow! You are a very lucky man! You have just dodged a bullet. If all what you have written is true then know that someone is really praying for you and God is on your case. That babe is a leach and will continue leaching on you even in marriage. Run away now. Think with your head and not with your d.ck. Sex is good in marriage but it is not the only thing you will be doing everyday in the marriage.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Giwoni: 10:55am On Apr 21, 2020
Chi59:

I have nothing to prove to you. I'm an indigene of Imo state. Go and hang yourself.
my dear, please it Should not be because of me that there should be an issue among us. All of you guys have really done. Every human race is one, be it black or white. My prayers have been that whichever place,, State, country or continent, I would appreciate because everybody on this Earth is one. God bless you all.

1 Like

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by fred262: 10:55am On Apr 21, 2020
..
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by YeribanzavsAfon: 10:57am On Apr 21, 2020
Chi59:

I have nothing to prove to you. I'm an indigene of Imo state. Go and hang yourself.

Ofcourse an indigene of Imo in Ogun state. grin grin grin No be only Chi59 na Covid19. grin cheesy
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Austineva(m): 10:58am On Apr 21, 2020
Johntitus:


Oh.... First love is too complicated. You go just dey act like Jesus.
grin grin grin
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by freedomchild: 11:02am On Apr 21, 2020
UnimkeAk:


As a corp member in 2013, when the occupants of the 6 flats in my compound including myself gather to discuss issues such as splitting of Nepa Bill's, when I asked why the guy in the BQ is not always in the meetings, they will say , dont mind that man, he is from Ebonyi, he doesn't know anything...

That's a fact Anambrarians see people from ebonyi as second class igbos...

Plus she played u simple

You're true bro. I've heard it.. Someone will be arguing with an Ebonyi man and he'll be like 'see this Abakaliki man oh' with amusement.. countless times
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by MXD5050: 11:03am On Apr 21, 2020
You see the things I say no one can counsel you here all they would do is to insult you making you look stupid for bringing your problem to seek for solution. Most advise given here is not counseling and can destroy life and kill relationships or marriage that would have been perfect. 0806 472 9707 WhatsApp for relationship issues. talk to a qualified counselor or a sex therapist and a relationship expert popularly known as D' Counselor one on one.

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Temysteve(m): 11:05am On Apr 21, 2020
milliman:

That's really sad to read but no matter how dark the night gets sun will always shine when the time is right. Let her go there is no compulsion in love you no fit do am but force
the first question here is that is he helping the lady just to end up marrying her??
fine, the guy can propose his love to her which in not bad, but if the do not want any relationship attachment to the friendship I guess she should not be forced. The guy shld just wave over what he has done so far to the girl and look beyond, it's obvious the Lady don't love her with or without her mother consent.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by sephinne(f): 11:06am On Apr 21, 2020
Descorts:
what else would she do for him aside having sex with him (of which she also enjoyed) ? Isn't sex all you women got to offer undecided
not all women,probably because you haven't met women who offered anything valuable to your life.

1 Like

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by SonOfEl(m): 11:06am On Apr 21, 2020
YeribanzavsAfon:


No one gives the bolded a second thought in Imo except maybe you guys from Abia.

All i am saying is that the Anambra people i have seen always wish to marry Imo ladies yet Imo guys dont marry outside Imo state, so the issue of Anamabra discriminating other Igbos does not apply to Imo state indigenes. If one or two Anambraians decline marrying from Imo or vice versa it shouldn't be used as a yardstick to judge the entire people of of the state, same goes to Abians, Ebonyi etc.. Its all about preference and like i said earlier an uncle of mine never wanted to get married to a certain lady from Anambra until she used pregnancy to kind of "blackmail" him into settling down with her.
Me i dont have problem marring from Abia, as a matter of fact i hear Abia women make good wives and many of them are married in Imo so it is not a matter of discrimination but choice and preference, even some homes in Imo do not want an Mbaise daughter in law but people from Anambra come and marry them and they do just fine in their marriages.

I agree with you. However I think the issue with anambra has to do with men from other state marrying their (anambra) daughters. If it's their son marrying from other states, they have no problem with it.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Nobody: 11:06am On Apr 21, 2020
Giwoni:
my dear, please it Should not be because of me that there should be an issue among us. All of you guys have really done. Every human race is one, be it black or white. My prayers have been that whichever place,, State, country or continent, I would appreciate because everybody on this Earth is one. God bless you all.
Thank you. That guy is crazy. Imagine him saying that I'm lying about my state of origin as if someone will pay me money for lying.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by romzyxy(m): 11:07am On Apr 21, 2020
Giwoni:
She usually give me sex whenever she wants, she also cook for me occasionally, which I cooked more for her.
she also gives me fruits which I did more than that.
In 2019, I noticed she was acting uninterested but went on to tell my male class mate that she has made her mind to be with me while waiting for her parents conclusion.
In the beginning, she was even the person that brought marriage up.

I have not even gone quarter of what I did for her which she usually tells me that she doesn't have any to give me in return.


WTF!..Are you related to Tony Umez or Kenneth Okonkwo?

1 Like

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Rossycee(f): 11:07am On Apr 21, 2020
YeribanzavsAfon:


All what you are saying here is new to me because i have not made attempt to mingle outside Imo so i wouldn't speak about that maybe you people that have been discriminated against will tell me, as for me and most Imolites we do not marry outside our state that's all. . But to play the devil's advocate though i think it is a matter of choice that someone may decide to marry from his state like me and i wont be surprised if someone says Imolites discriminate too. When you get to [Plateau state the Igbos getting married to Jos women at an officially alarming rate are all Anambra men, you can hardly see a man from Imo who is not married to an Imo woman.
So if Amanbra can marry Plateau in droves this "our mother said" of a thing does not count when a man or woman is in love that's it unless he or she never intended to marry you period.
Who told you imolites don't marry outside imo state.. Imo ladies and men can marry from any state and tribe .. I have imo friends that married yoruba.. Imolites hardly discriminate. But anambarians discriminate among their fellow igbos simply because they are not from their place.

1 Like

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Temysteve(m): 11:08am On Apr 21, 2020
Johntitus:
Hahahaha... You're your problem. How can you shoulder the responsibilities of a lady you've not married? Sha, no too much money dey shack you.
So you mean there are no guyz out there who can help a lady without attachment?
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by sephinne(f): 11:14am On Apr 21, 2020
Descorts:
what else would she do for him aside having sex with him (of which she also enjoyed) ? Isn't sex all you women got to offer undecided
If you have met women with value you would know sex is just tippings
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by YeribanzavsAfon: 11:14am On Apr 21, 2020
Rossycee:

Who told you imolites don't marry outside imo state.. Imo ladies and men can marry from any state and tribe .. I have imo friends that married yoruba.. Imolites hardly discriminate. But anambarians discriminate among their fellow igbos simply because they are not from their place.

I am talking about Imo men, i know imo ladies are somewhat sassy so they hover all over the country marrying everything in trousers.
Many Anambra men are in Plateau with plateau wives so i dont know which one is better whether Plateau wives or Igbo wives from other Igbo states, i do not understand what you mean by discrimination here but from what i deduce they go for the cheap women they can afford cos even though i am from Imo state i cannot deny the fact that marrying a woman from Imo state can be expensive at times, but then like i said non of my family member nor i have experienced such a thing as discrimination from Anambra and if it has happened to you sorry but it all boils down to choice let it go.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by OriOko88(m): 11:17am On Apr 21, 2020
chocolatelady:
My dear, that u sponsored a girl in school does not guarantee that she will marry u. For me, u are a very kind person and Its only God that can reward u. I must be blunt with u, the chances that the girl from Anambra will marry ebonyi man is very slim, don’t be fooled becos of the perception all other eastern part of the country have about them. Being archaic, not up to standard, cultural differences even language. My guy I no lie u, u can hardly hear what ebonyi people are saying. Their own Igbo is totally different. I am saying all these becos I am from Anambra. Just move on with ur life. Do not force her becos it’s not gonna work. I am sure that God will provide for u a lady that will cherish and love u. More so, it’s only somebody that really loved u will forget about the ebonyi perception and go ahead to convince her parents to marry u.
Focused on ur career and grow. May God bless u with that lady that will gladden ur heart, amen.

See this one too. You re of them. Na Yoruba you ppl go marry laslas
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by YeribanzavsAfon: 11:18am On Apr 21, 2020
SonOfEl:


I agree with you. However I think the issue with anambra has to do with men from other state marrying their (anambra) daughters. If it's their son marrying from other states, they have no problem with it.


No you are wrong still, a woman that loves you will never allow her parents dictate for her who to marry you or not. Like i said earlier an uncle of mine was never interested in marrying this woman from Anambra but she kind of got him hooked with pregnancy and he had no choice than to marry her, her parents had no choice but to allow them get married because of the pregnancy and they have four big children now.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Rossycee(f): 11:23am On Apr 21, 2020
YeribanzavsAfon:


I am talking about Imo men, i know imo ladies are somewhat sassy so they hover all over the country marrying everything in trousers.
Many Anambra men are in Plateau with plateau wives so i dont know which one is better whether Plateau wives or Igbo wives from other Igbo states, i do not understand what you mean by discrimination here but from what i deduce they go for the cheap women they can afford cos even though i am from Imo state i cannot deny the fact that marrying a woman from Imo state can be expensive at times, but then like i said non of my family member nor i have experienced such a thing as discrimination from Anambra and if it has happened to you sorry but it all boils down to choice let it go.
If you do a research you will find out for yourself. Imo men also marry outside imo state. My former boss's husband is from imo but she's from Edo, some of my male cousins from igbo state are married to other state likewise old male school mates from imo state so that's to say that when it comes to imo state is choice.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by galaxy2020(m): 11:23am On Apr 21, 2020
You have been scammed guy. No laptop involved. Move on, so many better girls out there
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Rossycee(f): 11:24am On Apr 21, 2020
SonOfEl:


I agree with you. However I think the issue with anambra has to do with men from other state marrying their (anambra) daughters. If it's their son marrying from other states, they have no problem with it.
Now you get it wrong. Is even easier for their daughter to marry outside anambra than their son..
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by lucianohase(m): 11:26am On Apr 21, 2020
Bru, you have a bright future and you know that. Determine to get over this and make sure you don't sponsor any girl again with a notion you are going to marry her.

You can only invest in your wife( someone you are already married to) or your biological sisters and carter for your own mother. Anything outside these forget it....Except you are well to do to give out scholarships.

Many guys have made this mistake you made and they ever leaved to regrate it, while some got over it. So bru, determine you will get over it and forget completely about her . Even when you see her, just move on with your life.

A mistake, is a mistake but don't let it ruin you or your enviable career.

Just ride on ...
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by SonOfEl(m): 11:27am On Apr 21, 2020
YeribanzavsAfon:



No you are wrong still, a woman that loves you will never allow her parents dictate for her who to marry you or not. Like i said earlier an uncle of mine was never interested in marrying this woman from Anambra but she kind of got him hooked with pregnancy and he had no choice than to marry her, her parents had no choice but to allow them get married because of the pregnancy and they have four big children now.

see bro, even if she insists, we all know that clannishness play a huge role in anambra when it comes to marriage. the anambra girl must be very assertive and stubborn to break away from their clannish group and only few anambra are able to achieve that because of the anambra 'superiority' orientation given to them from childhood.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by OriOko88(m): 11:28am On Apr 21, 2020
IloveToMess:


Imo women ARE too choosy to be ignored. A lot of men from Anambra have Imo wives and vice versa.
Ogbeni leave the gir alone. Stop d bullying.

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