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Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man - Romance (26) - Nairaland

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Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Beneman(m): 1:51pm On Apr 21, 2020
Bro, u are not alone, a lot of persons have experienced same thing. Just forget abt her and move on.

Take a look at this chat below

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Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by obytex(m): 1:55pm On Apr 21, 2020
Pls reply my pm....
grandstar:
Giwoni(
You are a blessed man! You are truly blessed! That liability is now going to be off your back.

Be jumping for joy. You didn't even need a cunning way to get rid of her. She got rid of herself.

My friend, stop throwing pearls before swine. With what you've written, there's nothing special about her. She's just an empty full-of-herself-parasite that had been leeching off you. You get married to that type, even N10 pocket money for junior will be "go and ask your daddy".

You deserve better! Say to yourself "I deserve better!". If it is true to spent so much on her as you said, it shows you'll treat your wife like a queen. You need someone that'll treat you like a king. You don't need someone who looks down on your tribe. So what if you're Ebonyi? Is it because you guys don't love money? You guys are simple that is all. You're different from other Igbos does not mean you're not human. At least, I know you'll not use me as a sacrifice or when names of those on death row in Cambodia are mention for drug trafficking, your kinsman name won't be there.

You're from a fairly rich background. You have a bright future in front of you. After finishing uni, don't be too quick to rush into marriage o! Marriage may mess up many plans. You may want to further and probably settle in the US for example where you can easily earn $200,000+ a year as a doctor.

Further your studies, get a good job and then settle down. She'll be filled with jealousy later.

Apostle Paul said, "He who thinks is something when he is nothing is deceiving himself". Don't you think Apostle Paul was right?

You too, stop lavishing money on women. Many girls will love you without spending a dime on them. What if you don't have?

1 Like

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Nobody: 1:56pm On Apr 21, 2020
my brother live goes on, it happens to me, the girl that got pregnant while we were still dating but the guy they impregnated her rejected it and I still adopted the child, caring for the child and she but later her mum said she can't marry who's is not educated and I've went back to school but we can't date again cos my level has changed, look for better girl, there millions of ladies out there that is looking for a guy to settle down with , look for one, life is sweet than allowing a so called hypocrite to be deceiving you, she belongs to another man


fb aiki orgor
Twitter @aiki_orgor317
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by SonOfEl(m): 2:00pm On Apr 21, 2020
djon78:




What the guy is saying is true.
I am from Anambra but my sisters our first daughter married an IMO man.
Second daughter married Abia man.

My family never discriminated them. We have a wonderful relationship with our in laws
Only the third one married Anambra.

So it's more about individual choices

Superlightening not disputing his perspective as he has his. for his to be true does not make the other guys observations false either.

anambra in my observations have issues with their daughters going far especially to non anambra states. Their sons are at home, so they can bring women home.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by YeribanzavsAfon: 2:06pm On Apr 21, 2020
SonOfEl:


you probably don't know me nor my age, yet you assume superior knowledge over this marriage issue. Lol.... SMH

you are uncomfortable because I have a different view from yours. I was from Imo state before I became an Abian. Your view may differ from mine, but what I have posted is PURE FACT.

Women marrying into anambra aren't really an issue for anambara. it is their women marrying OUTSIDE that is the issue they have. They don't won't their daughters going far.

I have told you i dont agree with you on that crap because have seen and experienced differently....
What the hell do you mean by you were from Imo and became an Abian? Are you from Imo state married to Abian or what?

Anyway whatever rocks your boat fine but i have never dated an Anambra lady and therefore cannot speak much on that issue aside from the ones i witnessed in my family. That's all.

If someone tells you her family doesn't want you to marry her and she will obey her family's decision then she doesn't love you, how long will it take you to get this into your head..?? huh??
Cheers
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by dokyOloye: 2:08pm On Apr 21, 2020
YeribanzavsAfon:


I am talking about Imo men, i know imo ladies are somewhat sassy so they hover all over the country marrying everything in trousers.
Many Anambra men are in Plateau with plateau wives so i dont know which one is better whether Plateau wives or Igbo wives from other Igbo states, i do not understand what you mean by discrimination here but from what i deduce they go for the cheap women they can afford cos even though i am from Imo state i cannot deny the fact that marrying a woman from Imo state can be expensive at times, but then like i said non of my family member nor i have experienced such a thing as discrimination from Anambra and if it has happened to you sorry but it all boils down to choice let it go.
Truth is,Anambra people especially those of them who were born and lived most of their lives in Anambra discriminate a lot esp towards Ebonyi state.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by SonOfEl(m): 2:09pm On Apr 21, 2020
YeribanzavsAfon:


I have told you i dont agree with you on that crap because have seen and experienced differently....
What the hell do you mean by you were from Imo and became an Abian? Are you from Imo state married to Abian or what?

Anyway whatever rocks your boat fine but i have never dated an Anambra lady and therefore cannot speak much on that issue aside from the ones i witnessed in my family. That's all.

If someone tells you her family doesn't want you to marry her and she will obey her family's decision then she doesn't love you, how long will it take you to get this into your head..?? huh??
Cheers

oga, you don't have agree does not mean any opinion opposing yours is crap.

I was born in the early 80s, my older cousins then who wanted to get married to anambra ladies had issues then. that was the height of Anambra - Imo fracas in those days and it somehow partially lingers till this day.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by SonOfEl(m): 2:10pm On Apr 21, 2020
dokyOloye:

Truth is,Anambra people especially those of them who were born and lived most of their lives in Anambra discriminate a lot esp towards Ebonyi state.

absolutely. They are clannish. that does not mean they are evil. it's probably self preservation
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by dokyOloye: 2:15pm On Apr 21, 2020
SonOfEl:


absolutely. They are clannish. that does notean they are evil.
No just clannish.
They tend to look at Abakaliki ppl as primitive,poor,etc forgetting that it's no longer d Ebonyi of d 80s.

2 Likes

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by SonOfEl(m): 2:19pm On Apr 21, 2020
dokyOloye:

No just clannish.
They tend to look at Abakaliki ppl as primitive,poor,etc forgetting that it's no longer d Ebonyi of d 80s.

my point even is - ebonyi (abakaliki axis particularly) was part of the old anambra state. yet they were still discriminated.

In the 80s, Anambra - Imo concealed fracas was rife....I remember my seniors then discussing it as a norm
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Nobody: 2:20pm On Apr 21, 2020
Rossycee:

The fact still remains that Anambarians discriminate alot. They have this idea instilled in them which make them feel they are better than others. An anambra man might wish to marry from Abia or imo but this their 'our mother said' syndrome won't let them. Their parents always influences their marriage and still decide who they marry. This is not about one or two scenarios, do a research and you will find out for yourself.



What is your own issue now?
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by SonOfEl(m): 2:21pm On Apr 21, 2020
Rossycee:

The fact still remains that Anambarians discriminate alot. They have this idea instilled in them which make them feel they are better than others. An anambra man might wish to marry from Abia or imo but this their 'our mother said' syndrome won't let them. Their parents always influences their marriage and still decide who they marry. This is not about one or two scenarios, do a research and you will find out for yourself.

thank you. a lot of anambarians are guilty of being too clannish when it comes to marriage.

1 Like

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by YeribanzavsAfon: 2:22pm On Apr 21, 2020
SonOfEl:


oga, you don't have agree does not mean any opinion opposing yours is crap.

I was born in the early 80s, my older cousins then who wanted to get married to anambra ladies had issues then. that was the height of Anambra - Imo fracas in those days and it somehow partially lingers till this day.
Oga quit whining, Imo people reject suitors from Anambra too and you dont see them whining about it. Marry someone that loves and accepts you period.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Rejoice5000(f): 2:24pm On Apr 21, 2020
Giwoni:
My Love Experience

Good day NLanders

I'm a medical student, and gf ( not sure what to call her now) is in MLS. We are both in same level (500l).

It all started in 2015, when we gained admission into the University. We began to read together and subsequently I started teaching her. Later on, she made me to read and susummarize her course topics (which I did for up to her 300 level) for her as she usually found it difficult to read with textbooks and understand the contents.

Months before my 2nd MBBS examinations, I began to notice changes in her attitude and behaviour towards me, up to the point that she told me that if I did not pass that examinations that, she will forget about me. But as God may have it, I passed successfully.

Financially, it started right in year one as I celebrated her and her mummy's Christmas from my own pocket. It got to a point that I usually give her her money almost every day (for up to 5yrs) Whenever, I'm traveling in any of our vacations, I usually give money for upkeep until I'm back.

In 300l, I bought her gift worth almost 30k and also celebrated her birthday which she demanded I get her 'point and kill cat fish' that cost 9k.

I usually pay for her textbooks and seminar work as we are all in medical school, I really do a lot for her, as she always told me she would never leave me right from yr 1 to 500l after which she started telling me, their people from Anambra will not let her marry people from Ebonyi State.

She's has known this for all her life, but decided to bring it up just now, when I'm beginning my marriage plans with her, She's started giving me unnecessary excuses in one form or the other.

In 400L, my elder brother told me that I should leave my medical school here to go and study the same medicine abroad. Because of her, I told him that I want to finish my school here since I am already in 400 level. That after my MBBS degree, I can then go abroad for my Masters degree...

This January, my elder brother told me that since I would be graduating in 2022 (which supposed to be 2021 but due to strike before the 2019 election) which is two years time, that I should be planning to get married before I leave this country.

This made me to ask her again if we are ending up together and she told me that she has to seek for her mother's consent, and would give me a feedback.

Before, she travelled (this is just before the lock down) as she was complaining that she does not have any money on her to eat and she want to go and learn how to plait hair which will cost her #8,000, I gave her #16,000. The next day after collecting the money, she told me that she received a call from her mother that she must come back to her State and she travelled with that money without learning anything.

Yesterday by 8:24pm, I called her to tell me the outcome of her mother's discussion with her. She told me that her mother insisted that she cannot marry an Ebonyi man, and she cannot go outside her mother's decision.

In conclusion, she told me that she cannot marry me.

Well, as expected, I'm bracing myself up for insults, (I really don't mind this right now) but amidst the insults, pls advice a brother who's fighting emotionally.

thanks
Anambrian that's how most of their ladies behave and reason.they so much believe that apart from Anambra state any other state is like a waste bin. Am from Anambra married to Imo state man and am enjoying my home ad I keep thanking God every day for not making a mistake of marrying from my state.thats how I introduced my friend to a guy from Imo state she said Noway that she must marry from Anambra for sure she got married to Anambra man as am typing this she is no longer in the marriage and she is regretting her actions.@post what will be will be.try ur best to win her over if she still insist.Let her go.

5 Likes

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by SonOfEl(m): 2:26pm On Apr 21, 2020
YeribanzavsAfon:

Oga quit whining, Imo people reject suitors from Anambra too and you dont see them whining about it. Marry someone that loves and accepts you period.

nobody is talking about whining here, we are talking about behavior of the anambarians towards marrying non anambarians.

Abians don't whine about it. we are more of southern igbos so we marry more of akwa ibom, imo, delta, rivers and cross river.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by SonOfEl(m): 2:28pm On Apr 21, 2020
Rejoice5000:
Anambrian that's how most of their ladies behave and reason.they so much believe that apart from Anambra state any other state is like a waste bin. Am from Anambra married to Imo state man and am enjoying my home ad I keep thanking God every day for not making a mistake of marrying from my state.thats how I introduced my friend to a guy from Imo state she said Noway that she must marry from Anambra for sure she got married to Anambra man as am typing this she is no longer in the marriage and she is regretting her actions.@post what will be will be.try ur best to win her over if she still insist.Let her go.

thank you so much, you know the drill jaare. it was even worse back then. it has reduced now.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by YeribanzavsAfon: 2:29pm On Apr 21, 2020
SonOfEl:


nobody is talking about whining here, we are talking about behavior of the anambarians towards marrying non anambarians.

Abians don't whine about it. we are more of southern igbos so we marry more of akwa ibom, imo, delta, rivers and cross river.


Ok then stick to it..
Cheers
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by BamideleOJ: 2:35pm On Apr 21, 2020
Anyway it's unfortunate that OP and the girl has brought this issue to the fore again.

See if you want to help a lady through school, help her.

Don't help with the mindset of marrying.

If she's promising you marriage,marry her before she finish from school. (Weird right)

If she's giving you pussy as payback just take it.

Give yourself sense and stop all this wailing thing.

If na your disadvantaged cousin she be, you no help her. Will you marry your cousin.

Don't make it seem like it is a bad thing to be of help.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by djon78(m): 2:50pm On Apr 21, 2020
SonOfEl:


Superlightening not disputing his perspective as he has his. for his to be true does not make the other guys observations false either.

anambra in my observations have issues with their daughters going far especially to non anambra states. Their sons are at home, so they can bring women home.


It's just stereotype from your own perception and observation.
So you now developed a bias

There are many families that have done otherwise.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Manuelmarvyy(m): 3:04pm On Apr 21, 2020
Chi59:

Not at all. I'm from Imo state
Anambra ladies marry Imo guys very well even though most times Imo guys prefer to marry Imo state.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Goodzinny: 3:11pm On Apr 21, 2020
Soja go soja come. My brother their are many fishes in the water, if one escapes the hook, another better one must surely come. Just forget about her and what you spent on her. The one that will brighten your path is on the way. You didn't loose anything at all. Your own will surely be your own when the time comes. Cheer up, it is just the beginning of great things in your life your future is bright. I am waiting for your testimony.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by SonOfEl(m): 3:12pm On Apr 21, 2020
Manuelmarvyy:

Anambra ladies marry from Imo. My uncle married from Anambra...in fact he was pressured to do so as he wanted to marry from Imo state.
Imo state have beautiful ladies and handsome guys; so we even rarely marry outside Imo state including our ladies. Anambra ladies can never avoid Imo guys! In fact they value us like they value their fellow Anambra guys!

the anambra ladies normally wouldn't have issues with marrying outside as long as it suits them. it's the pressure of their clannish families that makes them stick to their anambra niche. Quite a number equally have that clannish mentality themselves. Only few anambea girls have the will to break away from the typical anambra family clannishness.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by JiokezOguguo(m): 3:16pm On Apr 21, 2020
The problem we have in our time today is self decision. Most guardians are wrongly influencing their wards. In as much as its good and biblical to obey your parents, as an adult learn to decide and make choices for yourself.

Bro, be patient on this (you may give a longer time), don't force love. If nothing happens or she by chance never return, then move one. In life their are sacrifices to make. You have invested truly in her life and its a credit, she shouldnt just trade it away just because her mummy said she must not marry from Ebonyi. If she really loves you for who you are, she will return. Her parents have lived their lives, its hers now.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by superlightning: 3:40pm On Apr 21, 2020
SonOfEl:


the anambra ladies normally wouldn't have issues marrying outside as long as it suits them. it's the pressure of their clannish families that makes them stick to their anambra niche. Quite a number equally have that clannish mentality themselves. Only few anambea girls have the will to break away from the typical anambra family clannishness.



yes sir.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by xavuv: 3:54pm On Apr 21, 2020
grin all is fair in love
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by janejive(f): 4:09pm On Apr 21, 2020
Giwoni:
My Love Experience

Good day NLanders

I'm a medical student, and gf ( not sure what to call her now) is in MLS. We are both in same level (500l).

It all started in 2015, when we gained admission into the University. We began to read together and subsequently I started teaching her. Later on, she made me to read and susummarize her course topics (which I did for up to her 300 level) for her as she usually found it difficult to read with textbooks and understand the contents.

Months before my 2nd MBBS examinations, I began to notice changes in her attitude and behaviour towards me, up to the point that she told me that if I did not pass that examinations that, she will forget about me. But as God may have it, I passed successfully.

Financially, it started right in year one as I celebrated her and her mummy's Christmas from my own pocket. It got to a point that I usually give her her money almost every day (for up to 5yrs) Whenever, I'm traveling in any of our vacations, I usually give money for upkeep until I'm back.

In 300l, I bought her gift worth almost 30k and also celebrated her birthday which she demanded I get her 'point and kill cat fish' that cost 9k.

I usually pay for her textbooks and seminar work as we are all in medical school, I really do a lot for her, as she always told me she would never leave me right from yr 1 to 500l after which she started telling me, their people from Anambra will not let her marry people from Ebonyi State.

She's has known this for all her life, but decided to bring it up just now, when I'm beginning my marriage plans with her, She's started giving me unnecessary excuses in one form or the other.

In 400L, my elder brother told me that I should leave my medical school here to go and study the same medicine abroad. Because of her, I told him that I want to finish my school here since I am already in 400 level. That after my MBBS degree, I can then go abroad for my Masters degree...

This January, my elder brother told me that since I would be graduating in 2022 (which supposed to be 2021 but due to strike before the 2019 election) which is two years time, that I should be planning to get married before I leave this country.

This made me to ask her again if we are ending up together and she told me that she has to seek for her mother's consent, and would give me a feedback.

Before, she travelled (this is just before the lock down) as she was complaining that she does not have any money on her to eat and she want to go and learn how to plait hair which will cost her #8,000, I gave her #16,000. The next day after collecting the money, she told me that she received a call from her mother that she must come back to her State and she travelled with that money without learning anything.

Yesterday by 8:24pm, I called her to tell me the outcome of her mother's discussion with her. She told me that her mother insisted that she cannot marry an Ebonyi man, and she cannot go outside her mother's decision.

In conclusion, she told me that she cannot marry me.

Well, as expected, I'm bracing myself up for insults, (I really don't mind this right now) but amidst the insults, pls advice a brother who's fighting emotionally.

thanks

Find ur way out ofnthis country when u.graduate n look for a better woman out there. She has been using you all these while. She will regret this in future. God will give you a better woman.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Odogwu999(m): 4:13pm On Apr 21, 2020
undecided move on bro, that is life, Even though she tries coming back Bleep her ass off
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Tonytonex(m): 4:58pm On Apr 21, 2020
Move on Bros. focus on your career. forget about her.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Giwoni: 5:04pm On Apr 21, 2020
Odogwu999:
undecided move on bro, that is life, Even though she tries coming back Bleep her ass off
thanks, appreciated
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Giwoni: 5:04pm On Apr 21, 2020
janejive:


Find ur way out ofnthis country when u.graduate n look for a better woman out there. She has been using you all these while. She will regret this in future. God will give you a better woman.
Thanks a lot

1 Like

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Giwoni: 5:05pm On Apr 21, 2020
Tonytonex:
Move on Bros. focus on your career. forget about her.
well noted

1 Like

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