₦airaland Forum

Stkingsley:
ATTENTION:

Social media is not the best place to bring your problems to. You will get the kind of answers social media gives. Look for a private counselor and talk to, look for a small radical spiritual group and join, you can tell them, this is what a friend is going through.... that way, they will be blunt in discussing it with you.

If, however, you feel like talking it about it privately without cost (apart from a bottle of mortuary standard Goldberg), then you can send me a whatsapp on 08034157602, and we will talk.

Cheers and may the Lord keep you

You're right bro.

nautybride:
This woman has spoken... The cycle continues to it started from the mother's training. I hope singles out there, read this and mother's should also take note, train your male child well and if you have a good one as a spouse, appreciate what you have.

During Slavery the white used blacks as agents to carry out their despicable acts. It's the same pattern where it looks like it's the same women setting up their boys to become insensitive to other women's plights. I would say the men are as guilty as the women they used. The agents are always more overzealous

You said your husband is paying rent and children school fees.that is a good one.if you are working feeding the family will not be too difficult ,feed within your income level then respect your husband ,then problem is solved

Jullima:
My dear you have described most Nigerian marriages. We see it here a lot on NL. Keeping malice and Nigerian husbands are 5&6. You are not allowed to express your feelings, it’s called talking back. You’re also supposed to apologise for something you were a victim of. If the husband is not 100% the breadwinner, even worse, any body language or words are interpreted as “you don’t respect me because you are contributing”

P.S our NL favourite matron will come in and blame you for not choosing right, even though he presented himself as a godly man or you must have done something to change a godly man.

Sis, it is well.

You didn't say anything to help OP here. Only tantrums againt Nigerian husbands. Na wa ooo Remove money from Nigerian marriages and this OP story is an example of what you'll get.

My sister pls stop thinking of going out of ur marriage for the sake of ur children just continue manage the way God is testing u, soon u will get out of it. continue been a nice woman that u always be but prayers is the key. for the look of its something is wrong somewhere but know one can tell but my sister prayers and never give up. and u must stop complaining or report ur married issue to the third party is better to report to God and try ur best to please ur husband whether is seen it or not, just do ur best. now for this fire to quench just apologize to him for the peace to rain. all this things will surely come to pass. but my sister prayers and never give up no matter hw long it takes

CHoccolaTE:
@bold,

Very big lie.

Submissive behaviour in humans is more likely to trigger bullying instincts in others.
Majority of people only respect you if they know you have some kind of power over them.

Many women are submissive but their husbands still disrespect them and bully them.

Most if not all submissive wives get bullied by their significant other. It's against human nature to expose so much vulnerability and expect not to be taken advantage of. It's just the other side of humanity. Talk about the saying about absolute power, it corrupts absolutely. Women, be loving and supportive but always draw the line and stand your ground. There is no two ways about it.

MizJaY:
Sorry for the long message but this lockdown period might favour reading long msgs.

I'm the quiet type so I have never opened mouth to insult my husband during any misunderstanding. Just arguments and my voice may go up a bit trying to explain or clear myself but he will start saying im raising my voice and talking back at him and start saying all sorts of things.

Honestly sometimes I wished I could unleash the anger deep down and screammm but I always have self control. If u sit with him, he will give u a million reasons why I'm not a good wife and if u don't know me well, u will fall for it because he tells it so well. I will not say everything he says is false, but 80% is. Only those that really know me, will know he is d one that has problem. He's too difficult at times.

In an office, there's usually that one person that quarrels with everyone am I right? But I end up being d only person that dat person doesn't quarrel with cos I try as much as possible to avoid quarrels that's just d kind of person I am. Calm and quiet.

When I met my husband NYSC days, he was very close to God, organizing programs in church and handling them. That was the main reason I got close to him cos I wasnt so spiritual and needed someone to help me grow spiritually through life. He told me he was called to be a pastor and that excited me but I'm not seeing that now lol. He's spiritual life is almost zero. And back then, he had nothing, we would spend all my money even to reach his sick mother in the village I would buy all the foodstuff to send to her.

The way he talked he sounded promising that things will get better with him, but today, I still suffer, I have no savings, all my salary is on the house. He works too and earns but he's salary covers rent and the children's school fees finished. I do the rest but he doesn't appreciate the fact that I sacrifice everything I earn to feeding the house. We are family of 6. Everything provision, food, children school snack, fuel for car and gen, gas filing etc etc it's me. And that's how my whole salary will just go fiam.

if I ws getting a little appreciation I for no mind but rather I get insults o. It's my fault that
Money is finished, it's my fault that we have no savings, I don't know how to manage money, I'm hoarding my money etc etc those are d words that come out of his mouth o.

I used to be a beautiful woman but no more, I wear one shoe everyday to work, can't buy myself clothes shoes nothing I had to cut my hair to relieve myself from hair money lol. I'm stressed out thinking of where money will come for feeding when my salary gets finished before month end at times I have to beg my sister or my dad a pensioner or hussle one way or d other. I now developed high bp and today I'm living with hypertension taking drugs everyday. It was my parents that gave my husband d job he's doing today. He is not in talking terms with he's dad n siblings. Before he's mother died, things were not too good between them. My husband likes to always form man of d house and want me to apologise whenever there's a misunderstanding saying that I am d one wrong, I'm always wondering how am always the one wrong and he's not � every time.

Sometimes self I don't know what I did that mks him angry he will just start carrying face. Today makes it a week we are not talking cos he has been carrying face since 7days now, and went to post something on wassap yesterday that a woman that cannot apologise to her husband cannot stay in marriage.

My brothers and sisters if I know of anything I did that I have to apologise for yet I refused to apologise that is making him carry face, may God strike me. If u know I did anything wrong why not come to me and tell me u don't like what I did and tell me what i did rather than carry face up n down. He always does that. At times I do ask him and as usual am always d one at fault. Maybe it's cos I'm a quiet person he's taking me for mumu.

The national anthem now is that because he does not have money that's why I don't respect him the way I'm supposed to. I'm always careful with my word when gisting with him cos make I make mistake say Donald duke is d current governor of rivers state haaa problem don enter and it may spoil d sweet gisting we were having. He go almost insult me and become uninterested in gisting with me again cos i don talk mumu talk.

So how can I handle such man cos if no be say I be quiet person, I for don receive serious beating black and blue from this man cos he has done it earlier on in our marriage not serious beating sha but I had some bruises. If not that my parents are still alive and warned him. Tho he still attempts once in a blue moon I go jus arrange myself. But I'm kind of tired. I have no money cos trust me, if I had, Maybe i for don dey plan my move sef I no dey enjoy marriage life at all

First, if you're a graduate I wonder which school you attended?
Your husband is physically and emotionally abusive! What are you waiting for? Dump him while you can and move on before you drop dead!

Ishilove:
It isn't very simple my dear. This is marriage, kids are involved, families are involved and a whole lot of ramifications as well.

By the time you pack your bag and go, everything will make sense. Yes she can leave with Zero savings ooooo, or maybe one month savings. Out of an unpleasant marriage is not out of her job you know.

Sis, find a close friend/relation you cab squat with or borrow a little cash to rent a self contain apartment where you would be staying for the main time. Continue your job, try find happiness with ur kids, walai should u continue there, you are already poping BP drugs, next thing could be Apams dancing with ur coffin. I reject that for you sha.

You need to study your husband very well, use see this life ,everything cant be rossyy all the time,mean while marriage doesn't goes according to our plan and there is no perfect marriage ,you have to be Carefull before leaving your marriage cos think of ur children when they want to marry but you are not with their father how can you educate them when they face similar challenges ,how can you tell them to endure when you are not with their father.
Am not saying you should wait till your husband kill you but I have my own challenges that am facing right now in my marriage likewise others too , let's learn how to manage our self

MizJaY:
Sorry for the long message but this lockdown period might favour reading long msgs.

I'm the quiet type so I have never opened mouth to insult my husband during any misunderstanding. Just arguments and my voice may go up a bit trying to explain or clear myself but he will start saying im raising my voice and talking back at him and start saying all sorts of things.

Honestly sometimes I wished I could unleash the anger deep down and screammm but I always have self control. If u sit with him, he will give u a million reasons why I'm not a good wife and if u don't know me well, u will fall for it because he tells it so well. I will not say everything he says is false, but 80% is. Only those that really know me, will know he is d one that has problem. He's too difficult at times.

In an office, there's usually that one person that quarrels with everyone am I right? But I end up being d only person that dat person doesn't quarrel with cos I try as much as possible to avoid quarrels that's just d kind of person I am. Calm and quiet.

When I met my husband NYSC days, he was very close to God, organizing programs in church and handling them. That was the main reason I got close to him cos I wasnt so spiritual and needed someone to help me grow spiritually through life. He told me he was called to be a pastor and that excited me but I'm not seeing that now lol. He's spiritual life is almost zero. And back then, he had nothing, we would spend all my money even to reach his sick mother in the village I would buy all the foodstuff to send to her.

The way he talked he sounded promising that things will get better with him, but today, I still suffer, I have no savings, all my salary is on the house. He works too and earns but he's salary covers rent and the children's school fees finished. I do the rest but he doesn't appreciate the fact that I sacrifice everything I earn to feeding the house. We are family of 6. Everything provision, food, children school snack, fuel for car and gen, gas filing etc etc it's me. And that's how my whole salary will just go fiam.

if I ws getting a little appreciation I for no mind but rather I get insults o. It's my fault that
Money is finished, it's my fault that we have no savings, I don't know how to manage money, I'm hoarding my money etc etc those are d words that come out of his mouth o.

I used to be a beautiful woman but no more, I wear one shoe everyday to work, can't buy myself clothes shoes nothing I had to cut my hair to relieve myself from hair money lol. I'm stressed out thinking of where money will come for feeding when my salary gets finished before month end at times I have to beg my sister or my dad a pensioner or hussle one way or d other. I now developed high bp and today I'm living with hypertension taking drugs everyday. It was my parents that gave my husband d job he's doing today. He is not in talking terms with he's dad n siblings. Before he's mother died, things were not too good between them. My husband likes to always form man of d house and want me to apologise whenever there's a misunderstanding saying that I am d one wrong, I'm always wondering how am always the one wrong and he's not � every time.

Sometimes self I don't know what I did that mks him angry he will just start carrying face. Today makes it a week we are not talking cos he has been carrying face since 7days now, and went to post something on wassap yesterday that a woman that cannot apologise to her husband cannot stay in marriage.

My brothers and sisters if I know of anything I did that I have to apologise for yet I refused to apologise that is making him carry face, may God strike me. If u know I did anything wrong why not come to me and tell me u don't like what I did and tell me what i did rather than carry face up n down. He always does that. At times I do ask him and as usual am always d one at fault. Maybe it's cos I'm a quiet person he's taking me for mumu.

The national anthem now is that because he does not have money that's why I don't respect him the way I'm supposed to. I'm always careful with my word when gisting with him cos make I make mistake say Donald duke is d current governor of rivers state haaa problem don enter and it may spoil d sweet gisting we were having. He go almost insult me and become uninterested in gisting with me again cos i don talk mumu talk.

So how can I handle such man cos if no be say I be quiet person, I for don receive serious beating black and blue from this man cos he has done it earlier on in our marriage not serious beating sha but I had some bruises. If not that my parents are still alive and warned him. Tho he still attempts once in a blue moon I go jus arrange myself. But I'm kind of tired. I have no money cos trust me, if I had, Maybe i for don dey plan my move sef I no dey enjoy marriage life at all

Eh yaaah, reading through your story gave me chills....I noticed something from your write-up, the major issue your marriage have right now is finance; your husband's income is not enough, which is affecting him psychologically and making him act frustrated.

He may not be a bad man as you maybe thinking, most of his attitude is mostly as a result of his poor financial status; most married men react negatively to financial brokeness, and their wife usually bear the brunt of their financial frustration.


I will advice you start a committed prayer session for your husband.....I mean midnight prayer. Don't pray for plenty things, just pray for one request continuously for days or weeks and maybe back it up with a sowing of seed at any Church or verified orphanage or poor person your spirit leads you to. Believe me, if things turn around for good financially for your husband, most of the issues you complained will most likely disappear on their own and your husband will become a happy man again.


Lack of money can frustrate a man; especially a man with plenty responsibilities. It could be his countless efforts to improve his financial life without success that pushed him away from his Pastorial calling he told you about when you guys first met....it happens to a lot of men; some turn to atheist and hater of God, I pray your husband's case won't get to that level and things will turn around.


This is why every Nigerian needs to join hands in fighting and condemning all these useless politicians ruling Nigeria and destroying everything left of Nigeria with their stupid leadership policies because at the end, every Nigerian home or abroad pay the huge price either in the form of insult and let down by foreign friends, colleagues, host foreign nations or in the form of poverty and financial lack, all Nigerians are paying the price of our government's failure and foolishness of many decades



Like many advised you already, try as much as you can and be saving some money......from that little savings, think of a way you can use it to start a side hustle aside your current job to further boost your income.


Lastly, I observed something else from your write-up which I would like to address for other single ladies reading. Ladies please listen and listen well...romantic love is not enough reason to marry any man.....that a man is overly religious; goes to Church 5 times or goes to the Mosque 10 times and prays 15 times is never a good reason to marry him thinking he is the right man for you. I am sorry to even say this; most overly religious men are lazy....they try to cut corners through religious miracles without backing up their prayers with work. Yes prayer is good, but you must work to get answer to your prayer if not, you are wasting time.


Ladies stop marrying men because they claim to be pastors or born again or choir master or usher or whatever religious crap they tell you. Marry a man who have good vision, well thought out goals and a good, workable plan to achieve the goals. He doesn't need to be rich when you decide to marry him, but his plans, his goals, his skills, his drive should be rich and focused.


The number one problem most Nigerian marriages are facing that is making it hell on earth is MONEY! Give most Nigerian marriages money and their problems will vanish like shadow.


Stable finance solves 60 - 70% of every marriages problem.....the rest depends on compatibility, ability to compromise and accommodate the other partner.



Op, don't write off your marriage just like that and don't believe that is how every other Nigerian marriage is.....at least 99% or more of my friends and family members are all married and I can tell you that if they are 100 in number for instance, 95 of them are having a blissful marriage, I am not judging from the husbands' perspectives, but from their wives perspectives. So Nigerian marriages are working, many ladies are blessing God everyday for getting married....its just that people hardly come out to share positive testimony because we only come out to cry when in distress but when we are enjoying we smile and laugh from afar, that's human nature.


I am a man, I cannot imagine myself giving my wife issues....never....in fact, so long as I am alive, my wife will never have any reason to regret ever getting married....all I am asking God for everyday is long life, good health and sustained good income and my wife will enjoy heaven on earth.

I wish you the best, be optimistic, things will improve, just pray for an improvement in your hubby's income and also find a way to add a side hustle to your job to boost your own income and start saving.

Eleyi gidi gan

sebi you wanted him to make you grow more spiritual?

Now is the time to turn to OGBANJE
full blown one

All na spiritual

MY DEAR, THE PROBLEM IS FROM YOU!
You forgot who you married!
You married your husband and Jesus! Both of divorced Jesus and went along! Bring back Jesus! Timely fast and pray. Pray at midnight. Read the Bible every hour. Without physical force your family will gradually turn to normality.
Try it! Thank Jesus later!

MizJaY:
Sorry for the long message but this lockdown period might favour reading long msgs.

I'm the quiet type so I have never opened mouth to insult my husband during any misunderstanding. Just arguments and my voice may go up a bit trying to explain or clear myself but he will start saying im raising my voice and talking back at him and start saying all sorts of things.

Honestly sometimes I wished I could unleash the anger deep down and screammm but I always have self control. If u sit with him, he will give u a million reasons why I'm not a good wife and if u don't know me well, u will fall for it because he tells it so well. I will not say everything he says is false, but 80% is. Only those that really know me, will know he is d one that has problem. He's too difficult at times.

In an office, there's usually that one person that quarrels with everyone am I right? But I end up being d only person that dat person doesn't quarrel with cos I try as much as possible to avoid quarrels that's just d kind of person I am. Calm and quiet.

When I met my husband NYSC days, he was very close to God, organizing programs in church and handling them. That was the main reason I got close to him cos I wasnt so spiritual and needed someone to help me grow spiritually through life. He told me he was called to be a pastor and that excited me but I'm not seeing that now lol. He's spiritual life is almost zero. And back then, he had nothing, we would spend all my money even to reach his sick mother in the village I would buy all the foodstuff to send to her.

The way he talked he sounded promising that things will get better with him, but today, I still suffer, I have no savings, all my salary is on the house. He works too and earns but he's salary covers rent and the children's school fees finished. I do the rest but he doesn't appreciate the fact that I sacrifice everything I earn to feeding the house. We are family of 6. Everything provision, food, children school snack, fuel for car and gen, gas filing etc etc it's me. And that's how my whole salary will just go fiam.

if I ws getting a little appreciation I for no mind but rather I get insults o. It's my fault that
Money is finished, it's my fault that we have no savings, I don't know how to manage money, I'm hoarding my money etc etc those are d words that come out of his mouth o.

I used to be a beautiful woman but no more, I wear one shoe everyday to work, can't buy myself clothes shoes nothing I had to cut my hair to relieve myself from hair money lol. I'm stressed out thinking of where money will come for feeding when my salary gets finished before month end at times I have to beg my sister or my dad a pensioner or hussle one way or d other. I now developed high bp and today I'm living with hypertension taking drugs everyday. It was my parents that gave my husband d job he's doing today. He is not in talking terms with he's dad n siblings. Before he's mother died, things were not too good between them. My husband likes to always form man of d house and want me to apologise whenever there's a misunderstanding saying that I am d one wrong, I'm always wondering how am always the one wrong and he's not � every time.

Sometimes self I don't know what I did that mks him angry he will just start carrying face. Today makes it a week we are not talking cos he has been carrying face since 7days now, and went to post something on wassap yesterday that a woman that cannot apologise to her husband cannot stay in marriage.

My brothers and sisters if I know of anything I did that I have to apologise for yet I refused to apologise that is making him carry face, may God strike me. If u know I did anything wrong why not come to me and tell me u don't like what I did and tell me what i did rather than carry face up n down. He always does that. At times I do ask him and as usual am always d one at fault. Maybe it's cos I'm a quiet person he's taking me for mumu.

The national anthem now is that because he does not have money that's why I don't respect him the way I'm supposed to. I'm always careful with my word when gisting with him cos make I make mistake say Donald duke is d current governor of rivers state haaa problem don enter and it may spoil d sweet gisting we were having. He go almost insult me and become uninterested in gisting with me again cos i don talk mumu talk.

So how can I handle such man cos if no be say I be quiet person, I for don receive serious beating black and blue from this man cos he has done it earlier on in our marriage not serious beating sha but I had some bruises. If not that my parents are still alive and warned him. Tho he still attempts once in a blue moon I go jus arrange myself. But I'm kind of tired. I have no money cos trust me, if I had, Maybe i for don dey plan my move sef I no dey enjoy marriage life at all

See better wife ☝unlike one that came here to insult the hobby how slow he is..gush,the Bible said it all...good wife is hard to find.

kestolove95:
Divorce d modafucka nd move on with ur life, get a young guy as a sec toy...no time men are stupeed

One broken soul coming up...

ibkayee:
Lmao

e don sweet your Belle because say na man dem dey yab abi

veave:
Hian.

Wetin I go talk go pain you o. But na the truth I go tell you. Madam, right now I can't tell you to start with 50% so I will say 20%.

Thank God there is covid and I pray your job doesn't get affected. As soon as you resume, the second day you get to work tell him there has been a 40% reduction from your salary due to low inflow of cash. You need to save at least 20% of your salary. This money no Matter if the roof is falling down you're not to touch it. Na your back up money be that. The other 20% is for your upkeep. You and your kids should survive on the remaining 50% because you'd definitely pay tithe[color=#
. It's because he knows you always have a back up plan that is why he is relaxed and allowing you foot all the bills.
No this kain thing make me say I no go marry "brother" when I dey small. Most of them are lazy and are dreamers. They expect manner to fall from heaven after their praying and fasting forgetting Paul had a handiwork that sustained him all through his life hence he didn't have to beg and depend on anyone. I no dey like this kind jist. He's not even appreciative of his supportive wife. I know women who use all their money to buy shoes, clothes and the latest asoebi, their husbands dare not say pim because they'd even take his own and join.

Lying and paying tithes
No to those 2 actions @ poster
Why should she lie
.If rapture happens in her lying state will you comfort her in hell?
Poster do you and dont lie about it.
Dont pay any tithes either you dont owe God any tithes.
Give as u are able

Fear men that pretend to go to church or fear God. Avoid them like hell and stay far away from them. 98% of them are hypocrites, Wolves in sheep clothing.

MizJaY:
Sorry for the long message but this lockdown period might favour reading long msgs.

I'm the quiet type so I have never opened mouth to insult my husband during any misunderstanding. Just arguments and my voice may go up a bit trying to explain or clear myself but he will start saying im raising my voice and talking back at him and start saying all sorts of things.

Honestly sometimes I wished I could unleash the anger deep down and screammm but I always have self control. If u sit with him, he will give u a million reasons why I'm not a good wife and if u don't know me well, u will fall for it because he tells it so well. I will not say everything he says is false, but 80% is. Only those that really know me, will know he is d one that has problem. He's too difficult at times.

In an office, there's usually that one person that quarrels with everyone am I right? But I end up being d only person that dat person doesn't quarrel with cos I try as much as possible to avoid quarrels that's just d kind of person I am. Calm and quiet.

When I met my husband NYSC days, he was very close to God, organizing programs in church and handling them. That was the main reason I got close to him cos I wasnt so spiritual and needed someone to help me grow spiritually through life. He told me he was called to be a pastor and that excited me but I'm not seeing that now lol. He's spiritual life is almost zero. And back then, he had nothing, we would spend all my money even to reach his sick mother in the village I would buy all the foodstuff to send to her.

The way he talked he sounded promising that things will get better with him, but today, I still suffer, I have no savings, all my salary is on the house. He works too and earns but he's salary covers rent and the children's school fees finished. I do the rest but he doesn't appreciate the fact that I sacrifice everything I earn to feeding the house. We are family of 6. Everything provision, food, children school snack, fuel for car and gen, gas filing etc etc it's me. And that's how my whole salary will just go fiam.

if I ws getting a little appreciation I for no mind but rather I get insults o. It's my fault that
Money is finished, it's my fault that we have no savings, I don't know how to manage money, I'm hoarding my money etc etc those are d words that come out of his mouth o.

I used to be a beautiful woman but no more, I wear one shoe everyday to work, can't buy myself clothes shoes nothing I had to cut my hair to relieve myself from hair money lol. I'm stressed out thinking of where money will come for feeding when my salary gets finished before month end at times I have to beg my sister or my dad a pensioner or hussle one way or d other. I now developed high bp and today I'm living with hypertension taking drugs everyday. It was my parents that gave my husband d job he's doing today. He is not in talking terms with he's dad n siblings. Before he's mother died, things were not too good between them. My husband likes to always form man of d house and want me to apologise whenever there's a misunderstanding saying that I am d one wrong, I'm always wondering how am always the one wrong and he's not � every time.

Sometimes self I don't know what I did that mks him angry he will just start carrying face. Today makes it a week we are not talking cos he has been carrying face since 7days now, and went to post something on wassap yesterday that a woman that cannot apologise to her husband cannot stay in marriage.

My brothers and sisters if I know of anything I did that I have to apologise for yet I refused to apologise that is making him carry face, may God strike me. If u know I did anything wrong why not come to me and tell me u don't like what I did and tell me what i did rather than carry face up n down. He always does that. At times I do ask him and as usual am always d one at fault. Maybe it's cos I'm a quiet person he's taking me for mumu.

The national anthem now is that because he does not have money that's why I don't respect him the way I'm supposed to. I'm always careful with my word when gisting with him cos make I make mistake say Donald duke is d current governor of rivers state haaa problem don enter and it may spoil d sweet gisting we were having. He go almost insult me and become uninterested in gisting with me again cos i don talk mumu talk.

So how can I handle such man cos if no be say I be quiet person, I for don receive serious beating black and blue from this man cos he has done it earlier on in our marriage not serious beating sha but I had some bruises. If not that my parents are still alive and warned him. Tho he still attempts once in a blue moon I go jus arrange myself. But I'm kind of tired. I have no money cos trust me, if I had, Maybe i for don dey plan my move sef I no dey enjoy marriage life at all

crackkhaus:
Yes.

You that is asking, are you married?

The woman herself has admitted that it's money that's holding her back from leaving, and you're still preaching your own.

Are u asking her to divorce?

Hahahah.i am enjoying this person when never fit cover her bill na him one carry younger guy.lol.if i am that guy,abeg make the woman pack.from her write up it is clear she talks too much and sees no fault in herself,the i am always right kind of woman.and usually all there advice na rubbish.

kestolove95:
Divorce d modafucka nd move on with ur life, get a young guy as a sec toy...no time men are stupeed

eagleonearth:
e don sweet your Belle because say na man dem dey yab abi

It was funny

Guy ,the man has nothing to defend even if he appears,what kind of responsible or sensible man will allow his wife bear so much fuuucking damn bills and still won't respect her in everywhere or at least act considerate during their quarrel times? Where's the self respect on the man side?? He's just a lazy over indulged egoistic crook..if she decides not to bear those bills,the societal joke is on him..look at all the worthless advice by most ladies on this forum and compare this selfless jewel wife to the kind of women on this forum? Can u say she doesn't deserve praise? What vex me most is the petrol part for car and gen,,I buy petrol alot for my gen and I know how much money it's consumes.talkless of other bills the woman I bearing

olumzzz:
People like you are the problem of this awa kontiri.
How can you pass judgement based on only one side's story.
You should encourage them to go to a forum where both parties can be heard like Pastor or Professional counseling.
Not assuming all one party says is the whole truth.

odinga1of:
I stopped reading at "Family of 6"

U see Una life? Una too like phuck abeg

It means she has four children +she &husband making six.

onoja12:
Hahahah.i am enjoying this person when never fit cover her bill na him one carry younger guy.lol.if i am that guy,abeg make the woman pack.from her write up it is clear she talks too much and sees no fault in herself,the i am always right kind of woman.and usually all there advice na rubbish.

It also means she has bottled these problems and this is the only channel she can unbundle. Leave the messenger and face the content of the message .

BlueAir:
Guy ,the man has nothing to defend even if he appears,what kind of responsible or sensible man will allow his wife bear so much fuuucking damn bills and still won't respect her in everywhere or at least act considerate during their quarrel times? Where's the self respect on the man side?? He's just a lazy over indulged egoistic crook..if she decides not to bear those bills,the societal joke is on him..look at all the worthless advice by most ladies on this forum and compare this selfless jewel wife to the kind of women on this forum? Can u say she doesn't deserve praise? What vex me most is the petrol part for car and gen,,I buy petrol alot for my gen and I know how much money it's consumes.talkless of other bills the woman I bearing

Exactly what I'm saying. What gives you 100% assurance that she is saying the truth?
We really need to learn to calm down.

emilas1979:
My sister honestly you are the problem with your marriage, it's very common with African women. A man pays school fees and rent and probably contributes his quota on day to day running of family, yet you condemn him. Whenever a woman contribute a dime in the house, this is always the case.
Goan fix yourself and your home
Good luck

Oga the problem the woman stated as the main reason for her unhappiness in her marriage is different from what you are quoting.she is saying she support her husband so that ur kind will not accuse her that she left all the bills for the husband alone.
If you like turn out like this very man she is complaining about and see if your wife will be gracious to accommodate you with ur nastiness ,Ur bigger than life Ego and irresponsibility toward to your family .
You Nigerian men should learn how to be good husbands to ur wives since our mothers & society have failed in that area . so that your home will be a joyful one.
Life is too short to make your wives miserable and be expecting love and submission from them..who does that anyway??of cos only some demented Nigerian men such as ur kind .

Nwodosis:
It is obvious you are not the talking type but the writing type, we have read your version, how do we get your husband's version? There is no smoke without fire!

08012052020 is his number. Call him to get first hand info to help you with the ruling.

crackkhaus:
Wow, so many stories of unhappy women in their marriages.

What must be responsible for this

Is it that the men involved have always been like that, but as expected, they are very good at gaming these women with love and excellent sex... OR is it that the women never really paid attention, got carried away easily, and were quite easy to deceive?

It really has to be one or the other, because I don't believe an adult already set in his/her ways can suddenly change.
They may pretend, adapt, or be able to project a false personality but to change? NEVER.

Women have been shamed by the society to marry before 30. They have been shamed by modern age guys to also bring equally to the table.

sassysure:
Stop apologizing for what u didn't do. It will erode your self esteem more until u become a shadow.
U guys can cut down on the expenses so u can save. He too should cut down on th expenses. Seems ur family lives above their means that's why u hardly have anything by the end of the month.
U should sit him down to proper home finance management. Draw a table that's workable with few % left at the end of the month as savings and emergency.
If he don't agree with you and continues spending as he want, go ahead and cut your own part.

The main problem u have in your marriage is finance.
Might be that u are obviously a means to an end that obviously never happened hence the lashing out.
Also start expressing yourself very well. When HBP kill you, he won't wait up to 6 months to hook up with another.
A nagging woman can also be the quiet type. Most quiet people are dangerous with their mouth. A word and the house will shake. Your husband isn't here to tell if you are the type that skin a man alive with your mouth even though u hardly talk. So check yourself.
And stop living according to society standard.

He didn't see her as a means to an end. He is just going through financial difficulties, the reason he is acting this way.

bukatyne:
I see two issues:

1. You both are earning below the standard of living you have set for yourselves. In what ways is your husband trying to increase his earnings?

2. Do you have a written budget where you can track income with expenditure so you see where you can cut expenses (I know what you have is not enough however, that will reduce the mental stress on you).

3. You have the classic egoistic Nigerian husband. How do you navigate them? By apologizing when issues crop up whether you are wrong or not. Yorubas call that apology 'gba je n simi' or 'sorry, let me rest.'
So issues come up, it is quickly 'sweetheart, sorry, I did not mean it like that.', 'sorry, no vex' etc.

4. His spiritual life: what happened to the man that wanted to be a pastor? Just how you leaned on him for spiritual growth, you might need to return the favour now.

And good that you have to wisdom to avoid his blows since you are still willing to stay.

This is the best advice. OP, you are not the problem, Nigeria's economic situation and your standard of living for your family is the problem.

Downsize your expenses, prepare less expensive food find an extra hustle and save.

The only thing that can change your marriage is an improvement in your family's economic situation.

Take heart more than half of marriages in Nigeria has the same problem as yours. Concerning the "carrying face" it is a case of financial security most men become frustrated when life becomes shitty, he is also frustrated about his life and just as you want to scream about the card life dealt you, that is what he is doing.

Just be the Devine feminine and playful use romancing to calm him down(With Condom ooo, 6 is already a crowd). Love and continuous playful romance is the only way to manage intimate relationships in a bad economy.

No stab am 4 sleep o

Nooil:
Women have been shamed by the society to marry before 30. They have been shamed by modern age guys to also bring equally to the table.

The major cause of the problems modern Nigerian marriages of today are having is finance due to dead Nigerian economy, and many Nigerian men don't know how to comport themselves or behave when broke; they would want to use I AM THE MAN to cover up for their financial woes. Give them money and most of their marital issues will disappear.

A broke man today is an angry man, he is a sadist and sometimes a narcist too.


After money issue, the next big problem in marriage is SEX! But money is the main problem.


My honest advice to single guys is to please try everything you can to fix your financial life first and attain a certain level of financial stability before you venture into marriage if not your case will always be on Nairaland front page and twitter trending hashtag.


Times have changed, you can run a family or marriage with meagre income in the past but not today that virtually everything has been heavily monetized

switdick:
The OP said her husband's salary covers the rent(which I believe grossly larger than any assistance or support she could ever offer) and school fees.

The rest like food or provision are merely enough for her to cry to us na.

You would be surprised that food and provisions for the year would gulp more than the house rent and the school fees.

Feeding and provisions is very very expensive, the most annoying part is there's no fixed cost for it. If things get more expensive and you don't want to increase your budget you either reduce the quantity or quality of the food or even the frequency at which the family eats.

I wonder why people just term it as just feeding.