Ariza:
Lol... Op stated that some women place wrong emphasis on "Work". Fine, but what is Wrong? Is it wrong for a woman to choose career over marriage? Well to you it is, to Me it's her choice and to others it isn't wrong. We must learn to respect "Choice and Preference ". We live in a dynamic world, people aren't all equal neither do we all have same desires. I don't think it is right to put everyone in a box and design how they should live or what they should do so far their choices aren't threats to humanity. Because the truth is, Marriage isn't for everyone same as WEALTH isn't for everybody. Discover the one that works for you and move along with it.

So how would people know what works for them without people like OP?

To say marriage is not for everyone while still spending most of your time on family section, for me, is cra.zy. If marriage is not for everyone, then the so called everyone shouldn't be here in the first place. It's like saying WEALTH is not for everyone on an investment thread. That's a stup!d idea.

Some of you are just bitter, it's very obvious seeing how you folks descended on the personality behind the post. You people have called her old school and all sorts without even realizing the fact that no sane man wants to spend his life with a problematic modern and overly exposed man-woman. There's something about her you lots hate so bitterly.

Acidosis:


So how would people know what works for them without post like this?

To say marriage is not for everyone while still spending most of your time on family section, for me, is cra.zy. If marriage is not for everyone, then the so called everyone shouldn't be here in the first place. It's like saying WEALTH is not for everyone on an investment thread. It is stup!d.

There can be family without marriage.
Family is more than husband/wife, husband/husband, wife/wife marriage.

Acidosis:


So how would people know what works for them without post like this?

To say marriage is not for everyone while still spending most of your time on family section, for me, is cra.zy. If marriage is not for everyone, then the so called everyone shouldn't be here in the first place. It's like saying WEALTH is not for everyone on an investment thread. It is stup!d.

cococandy:
There can be family without marriage.
Family is more than husband/wife, husband/husband, wife/wife marriage.

A family is a set of people who share common ancestors. You can't have a family if all you do is hook-up with strangers to have a child with the hope of becoming a grandmother. You don't have a family if you can't draw a common linkage with your ancestors.

Acidosis:


So how would people know what works for them without people like OP?

To say marriage is not for everyone while still spending most of your time on family section, for me, is cra.zy. If marriage is not for everyone, then the so called everyone shouldn't be here in the first place. It's like saying WEALTH is not for everyone on an investment thread. That's a stup!d idea.

Some of you are just bitter, it's very obvious seeing how you folks descended on the personality behind the post. You people have called her old school and all sorts without even realizing the fact that no sane man wants to spend his life with a problematic modern and overly exposed man-woman. There's something about her you lots hate so bitterly.

Add religious fanatic (Christian) to that.

Typical expressionions of Argumentum Ad hominems...

Bully tactic 101



Placing the wrong emphasis on work suddenly means people should ONLY get married and not have a job/career.

Is it the phrase "wrong emphasis" that is sooo hard to understand?

crackland:

Add religious fanatic (Christian) to that.

Typical expressionions of Argumentum Ad hominems...

Bully tactic 101

I tell you.

Acidosis:


So how would people know what works for them without people like OP?

The OP is pushing her religious shaped beliefs on people. It creates issues. Allow people have their choices. Having a family isn't compulsory and not a precursor to happiness

To say marriage is not for everwhilewhile still spending most of your time on family section, for me, is cra.zy.

This is just gate-keeping. Anyone can be on the family section to catch fun. And family isn't marriage, if you have a brother or sister, you have a family

If marriage is not for everyone, then the so called everyone shouldn't be here in the first place. It's like saying WEALTH is not for everyone on an investment thread. That's a stup!d idea.

Some of you are just bitter, it's very obvious seeing how you folks descended on the personality behind the post. You people have called her old school and all sorts without even realizing the fact that no sane man wants to spend his life with a problematic modern and overly exposed man-woman. There's something about her you lots hate so bitterly.

At the Boulder, how does what you just said differentiate you from the other (banned) trolls who came to bully the OP? They bullied her for her idea, you are bullying them for theirs.

See how the vicious cycle is?

Well that’s a more traditional belief. It is accurate but at the same time, I think it’s subject to personal opinions. For some people they have more family in folks they have accepted in their hearts as their families than the actual family they have been born into.
That’s not to say that I consider both to be the same or equal. But it’s my belief and I won’t see another family is lesser because they aren’t of the same ancestry like mine.

Adopted family members are family too.

It’s the same way a man and woman (or other genders) who aren’t related can come together and decide to create a family via marriage while having no common ancestry (In fact we hope they don’t have a common ancestor), it’s the same way other people can come together and decide they want to be a family by whatever method they hold dear (may not be marriage). And we must respect that their family means to them what ours means to us.

Acidosis:


A family is a set of people who share common ancestors. You can't have a family if all you do is hook-up with strangers to have a child with the hope of becoming a grandmother. You don't have a family if you can't draw a common linkage with your ancestors.

Acidosis:


A family is a set of people who share common ancestors. You can't have a family if all you do is hook-up with strangers to have a child with the hope of becoming a grandmother. You don't have a family if you can't draw a common linkage with your ancestors.

People can share common ancestors without marriage involved
Because a child is born of unmarried parents doesn't change it's ancestry.
Ancestry is by BLOOD.
(An example of this is Tuface and his multiple baby mamas and wife. His children from his baby mamas will trace their ancestry to him. His children from his wife will also trace their ancestry to him. The half siblings are always connected by blood regardless of the circumstances of their birth. They cannot simply be wished away because their parents aren't married)

Acidosis:


So how would people know what works for them without people like OP?

To say marriage is not for everyone while still spending most of your time on family section, for me, is cra.zy. If marriage is not for everyone, then the so called everyone shouldn't be here in the first place. It's like saying WEALTH is not for everyone on an investment thread. That's a stup!d idea.

Some of you are just bitter, it's very obvious seeing how you folks descended on the personality behind the post. You people have called her old school and all sorts without even realizing the fact that no sane man wants to spend his life with a problematic modern and overly exposed man-woman. There's something about her you lots hate so bitterly.

'Family' is broader than just marriage.

Even if this was a sub-board dedicated to marriage alone, are you saying everyone who has any type of opinion on something conforms to the specific thing's ideology?

The investment example isn't clicking either. Too many assumptions and unconnected 'links'.

Acidosis:


So how would people know what works for them without post like this?

To say marriage is not for everyone while still spending most of your time on family section, for me, is cra.zy. If marriage is not for everyone, then the so called everyone shouldn't be here in the first place. It's like saying WEALTH is not for everyone on an investment thread. It is stup!d.

First of all, You need to work on your delivery Sir. You don't conclude a submission is stupid and still ask for explanations. I believe it is highly immature to spit out something and wish to have a taste of the same thing.

Now, overlooking your misconduct I will answer you this. : The post you made reference to did nothing to educate women and men in general on Discovering Oneself. If at all PURPOSE was mentioned it was in the summary which means whatever the Original Poster was on about, Finding one's purpose wasn't the major focus. You may as well guess what was. The Poster laid more emphasis on Work, Family, Marriage then Purpose. And you wonder why most interpreted it as Work/Marriage tussle?
The right arrangement should have placed PURPOSE first then others follows as audience deemed fit. Now Sir, How does this thread talk about purpose when it wasn't thoroughly discussed. How do people get to know about their purpose when the original poster's knowledge limits to biblical stories, choosing the right man, and some people getting lucky to finding their purpose in their work? The sane Question is :What is Purpose? How do one discover it? How do one achieve it? Perhaps if this was the focus, we wouldn't be here.

That said, You amaze me by your constant monitoring to come to the conclusion I spend most of my time in Family section. Trying to determine where and where I ought not to visit on a public forum makes you sound ridiculously funny as well! Permit me, l laughed out loud reading that. Apologies. One question for you though : Why do you mix up family and Marriage? Answer that, perhaps you will realize how silly you sound.

Ciao!

Dont hate her and cant be bothered to go back and forth with her but its worrisome how she believes her opinions are facts. She also mostly doesn't take into cognizance that there's no one answer to the different curves life often takes.

Yeah, assuming it's true that marriage is the ultimate goal, are women supposed to wait indefinitely for marriage not working, just because Marriage must come first. What of Pastor Kumuyi's current wife who didn't get married till her 50s. She definitely wasn't sleeping around but possibly didn't have a suitor. Wat was she supposed to do till she got to 50? Not work while waiting on a marriage or purpose? Having a career gives u a sense of fulfillment and achievement and I have kids whom I love dearly.

I will encourage women to have a job before marriage cos it gives you independence, helps with your choice making on a spouse - poverty sort of makes you susceptible to tolerating crap you wouldn't naturally, gives u some respect like men generally see women that depend on them for every kobo as nuisances amongst others. I definitely will not consider marrying a man with no job. Money palaver in itself is one of the 3 leading causes of divorce.

My personal opinion is that if you get married without a means of livelihood, by all means try to get one. People change, life happens so have a back up option even if your spouse is generous.

Acidosis:


So how would people know what works for them without people like OP?

To say marriage is not for everyone while still spending most of your time on family section, for me, is cra.zy. If marriage is not for everyone, then the so called everyone shouldn't be here in the first place. It's like saying WEALTH is not for everyone on an investment thread. That's a stup!d idea.

Some of you are just bitter, it's very obvious seeing how you folks descended on the personality behind the post. You people have called her old school and all sorts without even realizing the fact that no sane man wants to spend his life with a problematic modern and overly exposed man-woman. There's something about her you lots hate so bitterly.

Acidosis:


A family is a set of people who share common ancestors. You can't have a family if all you do is hook-up with strangers to have a child with the hope of becoming a grandmother. You don't have a family if you can't draw a common linkage with your ancestors.

Family is a broad topic and can range from people sharing DNA, to adoption, to a unit of close friends etc. You people should broaden your outlook, yeesh. The world is too big a place and has too many different people to think so narrowly.

You don't have to compromise on whatever principles you have in order to just acknowledge certain things about the way the world works.

Mynd44:

The OP is pushing her religious shaped beliefs on people. It creates issues. Allow people have their choices. Having a family isn't compulsory and not a precursor to happiness

This is what many people on this thread came to tell her but she kept denying it. I am glad you see it too

Acidosis, so people who arent married shouldn't be here? So family section is solely for married people? Says who? You?

Some people's line of thinking sha

Mynd44:

The OP is pushing her religious shaped beliefs on people. It creates issues. Allow people have their choices. Having a family isn't compulsory and not a precursor to happiness

Isn't it funny how right in the same sentence where people should be allowed to have their own choices, yet when the OP has chosen to abide by her religious beliefs and still chose to share tit-bits of it here for anyone who cares to accept it, you claim she is pushing it on people.


Pushing it with what please?
A microphone on one hand, and an automatic machine gun on the other?

ibkayee:

Family is a broad topic and can range from people sharing DNA, to adoption, to a unit of close friends etc. You people should broaden outlook, the world is too big a place and has too many different people to think so narrowly

Narrow thinking that has kept Africa backwards for ages but some people stick to it because it favours them

bukatyne!!
Some of this bitter women want to guilt trip you to act in accordance to their expectation, please don't conform.

Your write-up is not for everyone, Your opinion is your opinion, stick to to it. Some people are benefiting from it.

CHoccolaTE:



Narrow thinking that has kept Africa backwards for ages but some people stick to it because it favours them

Lmao it's concerning

choice17:
bukatyne!!
Some of this bitter women want to guilt trip you to act in accordance to their expectation, please don't conform.

Your write-up is not for everyone, Your opinion is your opinion, stick to to it. Some people are benefiting from it.

When you put a topic out on a public forum, it is for everyone as long as they are respectful

And the boldened? See the bullying?

choice17:
bukatyne!!
Some of this bitter women want to guilt trip you to act in accordance to their expectation, please don't conform.

Your write-up is not for everyone, Your opinion is your opinion, stick to to it. Some people are benefiting from it.

Exactly...

They are simply trying to gaslight her into:

1. Stopping her posting of topics/opinions which they don't fancy.

OR

2. Continue posting but ONLY post what they like to read.

Biglittlelois:
Acido sis, so people who arent married shouldn't be here? So family section is solely for married people? Says who? You?

Some people's line of thinking sha

Oh well! I wonder if someone on Romance section will think I visit there more because I seek Romance!

Funny thinking some people got there.

Mynd44:

When you put a topic out on a public forum, it is for everyone as long as they are respectful

And the boldened? See the bullying?

They are the righteous one, in their mind their words are perfectly ok

Mynd44:

The OP is pushing her religious shaped beliefs on people. It creates issues. Allow people have their choices. Having a family isn't compulsory and not a precursor to happiness

No one says having a family is a precursor to happiness. Stealing makes some theives happy. Does that kind of happiness justify stealing? Should we show restraint and avoid preaching contentment so we don't offend criminals?

And how else did we gain the marriage concept? Marriage and religion are inseparable. You can visit the magistrate to prove your case.

This is just gate-keeping. Anyone can be on the family section to catch fun. And family isn't marriage, if you have a brother or sister, you have a family

Oh well, there are different types of family, many of which are merely a mimicry of the main thing or an attempt to classify those outside the ideal spectrum so they don't feel left out.

It's not uncommon to have a micikry of many societal principles and values. That a group of individuals consider dysfunction and estrangement as normal and then go on to repeat the cycle of dysfunctional settings with their own "families" does not reflect the actual essence of FAMILY.

With these individuals, descriptions like uncle, aunt, nieces, and cousins will become extinct.

Whether you like it or not, family stability, which is one of OP's message on Nairaland, remains an important factor for children's outcome. Like we were taught in elementary schools, family is the basic unit of society.

At the Boulder, how does what you just said differentiate you from the other (banned) trowls who came to bully the OP? They bullied her for her idea, you are bullying them for their.

See how the vicious cycle as?

Oh now you agree these elements actually bullied her?

Mynd44:

When you put a topic out on a public forum, it is for everyone as long as they are respectful

And the boldened? See the bullying?

Mynd447, Who did I bully?? she was gang bullied yesterday nobody said anything.

Agreed, her post is on a public forum. if you don't agree with her, read and move on. She gave her opinion, she is entailed to her opinion; Is not like she pointed a gun at anyone.

21 pages of bickering.

I really do not see anything wrong in the OP, I read it 3x. Maybe it is because I am very used to her ambiguity. With Buka, I go for the message and leave the rest for her.

That is how I have my peace.

When a person comes to a public forum to open a thread, it is not a personal opinion, it is a public opinion, the aim is for people to read, and state their views, if you want your opinion to be just for you and you alone, sit in your closet and say it to yourself countless times, when you do that, no one will even know what it is, or comment negatively on it,

Well, this simple analysis shouldn't be difficult for a discerning intelligent mind to deduce

crackland:

Exactly...

They are simply trying to gaslight her into:

1. Stopping her posting of topics/opinions which they don't fancy.

OR

2. Continue posting but ONLY post what they like to read.

Exactly, there's a 1001 topics on NL/family section to read from. If they find hers offensive, why not leave quietly like I always do; rather na bashing and frustration upandan

Acidosis:

Oh now you agree these elements actually bullied her?

Tor...

Acidosis:


Oh now you agree these elements actually bullied her?

I'm sure you can see that some comments were deleted,

And who do you refer to as "elements"? Humans?

Mynd44. Rule 2.