₦airaland Forum

Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my him' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.

Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

Madam baby mama is not good,you will see a another man,marriage is sweet when you meet the right man,good men still de,i am one of them

That your guy is about to get married next year. . He already arranged one babe for marriage and want you for baby mama.
You are 26 and talking like 19. Go and get sense joor. A man who profess love to you is there telling you to become a baby mama and all you could ask for is opinion.
Sister run for your life. Don't beg a man to marry you ok.

Better find your way back to yourself. If you don't want to be a baby mama, move on. Never you pressure someone to marry you that's the beginning of your pains.
Just wait for people who are interested in marriage to come your way. You will be fine single or married, you will be fine.

APOPTOSIS:
Must you Insult, to make points..?

She needs it.

If you don't shock girls like this with hard words, the next thing you would hear is that she is pregnant with twins for that guy.

Wise girls don't need hard words. Foolish girls do.

EVILFOREST:
I have Lived abroad for some years now.
I don't see reasons why ONE should marry a LADY and her entire Family.
When I visited Owerri, I spent time with a Nigerian Colleague of mine who is based in Nigeria.
He told me how he has been catering for the needs of his wives relatives. Yet he is being insulted with impunity by his Wife.
In Fact, his In Laws go to work from his apartment.
His Mother In Law lives with them.
I asked him about his own MOTHER.
He said his MOM is in the VILLAGE.
I cursed that DAY and left that place.
This happens in almost every Nigerian Home.
Yet no RESPECT for these MEN.

My PARENTS in Law have their apartment, they rarely visits us except when I call for such because they are also busy.
She and her husband train other CHILDREN of theirs.
They know their RESPONSIBILITY.
In, NIGERIA, MARRIAGES drain LIFE out of young men, who end up becoming tenants in their own houses.
Some get insulted by In Laws who live with them.
Menh....!!
That's Crazy...!

Don't blame the women only bros, as for me, it is the man that I blame. He allowed it, and he intentionally dole out his money to his in-laws. Women by default are testers. They will test you from the day they meet you, to determine what you can tolerate, your limit, and how they can utilise you as much as possible, its an evolutionary trait colloquially known as shit-testing.

His problem is that he is too invested in that relationship, which is good, but also bad if the investment is coming from only him. He should send them all parking and stop the remittance of funds, and if his peace of mind will be compromise, he should leave the marriage. When people stop to care and can say no when required, a lot of things will fall in place naturally.

One thing is certain. No one can make you a slave without your consent. The way they treat him is a reflection of what he can tolerate. Your friend is a simp. Sorry.

Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my him' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.

Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

Ola? Is that you?

Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my him' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.

Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

Baby mama keep will ur parents accept that,dont let them swear for you,madam better man still de that is responsible and want marriage,i am one of them

Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my him' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.

Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.
I need your opinions please.

Run from him now before he pregnant you

My dear, its like u dont know what u need because if u do, u will know d next move to make abt dis relationship.

To be honest, baby mama especially in Nigeria favours Nigerian men in every way.

Freedom beyond compare but with the sex that comes with marriage.

Even the responsibility will reduce significantly when she is not living with you.

It would be foolish for a guy not to try.

It would also be foolish for any self respecting woman to accept that.

He is scared of taking responsibilities. It will only favour him in the end. He has got no strings attached to you so he's free to date as many as he wants. By the time you have a child for him, you may not look as beautiful to him again as you are now, and since you're just a babymama, hell move on to the next pretty babymama to be.
Then you will turn to an "after one" with a broken heart.
Very few men out there are interested in settling down with someone's babymama.
Make a wise decision now while you still can, no matter how difficult that is. There are over six billion people on earth, you'll meet a better more committed man if you believe.
One thing you can do is that, don't try to end it abruptly, so you don't get so heartbroken. End it slowly, limit seeing or calling him to the barest minimum, no sex, no intimacy. Then be on the lookout for a better person. Make yourself more beautiful and more available to other suitors.
Two things would likely happen, he may realise that he doesn't want to lose you after all, and decide to marry, or he may stay on his stand and you meet a better man that can give you what you deserve.
Don't throw your worth away in the name of love. You will regret it years from now if you do that.

SweetCunt97:
How much is what

sex dolls

Shey u dinnur know marriage will hungry u ba?

You girls will come here and be condeming men everyday,now the NIGERIAN MAN have humble u,comon shift lehmi see road jare!

SweetCunt97:
Haba, take it easy. I'm sure e never reach that extent. They can discuss and settle amicably. She moves on peacefully but I hope he gets to realize what he's losing.

It has my dear

Boredasf:
So you want him to sacrifice his freedom by marrying you abi
Abeg shift!!!

That young man is wise for not wifeing you up.
Marriage benefits Women not men.

I sincerely hope more men adopt this philosophy.
You women don't deserve marriage.
Any man that decides to marry any woman in this 21st century should know that he is doing her a HUGE favor!

I never regretted marrying, whoever says marriage is bad has missed it all

Ningen:
This is a man that doesn't want to marry you.
But you want to coerce him into it.

Are you that desperate for a ring?
A superficial deception to paddle a lie??

You talk about wanting a good home;
But here you are, ready to build one on a straw.

If you have to BEG and CONVINCE him to marry you, then surely he DOESN'T see your worth. It's all a facade; He will never be committed to you.

Your goals do not align. Find a new path.
There are men out there that'll tick your box.

Well said

SweetCunt97:
Guy just look at how you tied my mention with your stupid post. Hope it's worth it? Hope you've gotten an alert from the likes you got with ur silly mention. Una go just dey talk rubbish like say you know me. If I give u my main moniker, I'm sure u go shock. Mtcheeeeeew. Waking up to 35 useless mentions ain't cool bro... Next time omit a letter or number so I don't get nonsense mentions if u choose to b silly.

Feel your pain ma. Sorry but not sorry
However, it's never too late to switch lanes. From a friend

My dear sister,

It is well with you.
You are in such a quagmire because the foundation of your relationship is faulty!

I mean, who leaves his house without a destination in mind.
What questions did you guys ask yourselves before embarking on this relationship?
How comes it is after two years in this journey you decided to find out the destination?

I believe in the love of God for you.
I know He cares about your life and future.

Can you reach out to God? Talk to Him about your situation. He got all the answers my dear!

My people on Nairaland are as helpless as yourself.

Everyone one of us (even the ones that package their lives like all is great) are all looking for answers in one way or the other in our lives.

Let us come to Jesus and accept Him as our Lord and Saviour today; He is not a magician that will make all our challenges disappear immediately but He will fill your heart with Peace and He will guide you on what next to do.

It is gonna take a hard time for the good girls to convince us that marriage is safe for men. Courtesy of those ones who ruined it.

In the past, men were blind to the manipulations of women especially in marriages. In fact we enjoyed working our life out just to please our women. Until feminism ruined everything. For women. Not men.

[color=#770077][/color]

Mypeople2:
Babe you better delete his number now.and move on.You are still young and so many guys will want you as a wife.So forget the so called "perfect "man .There is always light at the end of the tunnel .

Mypeople2:
Babe you better delete his number now.and move on.You are still young and so many guys will want you as a wife.So forget the so called "perfect "man .There is always light at the end of the tunnel .

Run for your life ooooo

allfriends:
D question I v for u are .... Can u vouch for him ?.... Is he compassionate ? ... Is he just n god-fearing? ... Is he kind heated ? ... Does he ve a good parent /family ? ... Does he v responsible friends ? Does he really loves u? ... Does he ve a good n reliable source of income n does not party /smokes? ... Does he an apartment n good future plans ? ... If your ans to all these questions s positive /yes .... Don't leave him , he s a good man , experiences ve a role to play in our life decisions ...try work it out with ur man ... It s a case of d devil u know n d angel u don't knw

Did you read OP at all?? God-fearing - HE WANTS HER TO BE BABY MAMA!!

Must be a Yoruba man because we igbos baby mama is an abomination in our land Aru

I will advise from my own angle .

Is baby mama common in the part of Nigeria you both come from ?

But as an Igbo man is a red flag a no no its to leave that man instantly he will end up with several baby mamas a useless father he will become

PoliteActivist:
So if u enjoy sex and a relationship with someone, it a waste of time unless it leads to marriage??! That word, marriage, should be removed from the lexicon so women can fully enjoy sex and relationships for themselves, without always marriage in view
Forgetting there is divorce, as if marriage guarantees anything

Actually yes a relationship with no end goal in mindsuch as marriage and growing a family is a waste of time, i don't date like a scalar quantity, but like a vector quantity.

olaniyilukman:
Which love exactly are you people shouting up and down, love doesn't exist and the same thing goes for religion.. Stop being deceive with these unrealistic concept

So, would you rather have her get pregnant and breed kids like a common dog just because of your bro code.
Not all men are crude and badly trained like the lots of you.
Confusedgirl869, if you believe it, you will be properly married and honored by a quality man. Love, between a man and a woman is called Eros, and it is possible for you to find a good man who will demonstrate genuine Eros to you. You just have to believe.

Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my him' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.

Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

Baby mama is abormination in Nigeria,


Marriage is sweet,i want it,note am a Muslim guy from osun state stays at ogun/Lagos

you truly are a confused girl. How on Earth should you not be able to define what you want? my dear if you have to beg any man to be with you in marriage, you should know that it is a red flag. Separate homes are not the best for any child to grow in it always takes the grace of God for them to hold up well. You can use ur tongue to count your teeth.

Some people with mumu stories and questions. Go open yansh for am now and be his baby mama . Mtcheeeèeeeèew

Confusedgirl869:
It's going to be hard. Thanks dear

miss ask him strongly why baby mama and not marraige. From his responce u would know what to do. Reach me via dm or 07065039057

SweetCunt97:
Chasing clout... You just wan chook mouth to sound intelligent upon that no one even dashed you 1 like! Ofu like you no see!

By corroborating a conjecture? I mean I didn't say anything neither do I belong to a low demographic clout.

Confusedgirl869:
Thanks bro, I wouldn't say I have any problem, I am clean, we are compatible and all. Even all his friends loves, admire and praises me, they will sometimes ask when he is going to see my people, what are we waiting for but my guy always seem withdrawn or he changes the topic.

You are too good. There is no bite. Probably a door mat. It is your nature, can't help it - but it is also a turn off for many guys and people will take advantage. That's why he has the guts to try turn you to baby mama