LordNicvuitton:
Hi Romancelanders, don't know if it's right to share this topic here, but I'll do for now.

I'm Victory, from the East and currently a resident of Edo state. I came to this state, as an intern and thereafter, still served here and in the course of all these, I thought out and established a laundry business, which is just about 8 months old. This was to keep life going and to better bond well with the lady in my life currently.

While in Edo state, having rounded my internship & kickstarting service sometime around 2017, I met this Kiki Osemudiamen (Name changed), and it was nothing serious at 1st, cos I never really thought I'd date someone here, fact is that I never thought I'd stay beyond my service year. I met her while she was in 200l. We encouraged each other, she saw potentials and had faith in me just like I have so much faith in her. She is simplistic, encourages me to save and I in turn, encouraged her and guided her through some of her studies. She passed her 2nd MB.BS. and is currently awaiting lifting of the lockdown on schools, so she can start her clinicals.

Problem is that she came from a not buoyant family financially, and although both parents are alive, she struggles to survive/feed daily. Her dad supplies about 1000litres/trip water to households, while her mum sells at the local market. I on the other hand, came from a middle class family but my Dad is late since 2012, and I've been a sponsor of my education and that of my younger ones through the lil I inherited (which mum manages for now) plus my various endeavours. She depends on me for daily meals and other basic essentials, in fact I had to place her on salary in my laundry shop during this lockdown, so she plays the role of secretary in my shop too.

The latest challenge came about, yesterday. While she slept in the shop, I was out on errand, someone sneaked into the shop and stole her android phone with all of her e-medics textbooks (she reads mostly e-copies because she can't afford hardcopies), she has been crying all through and I really don't know what to do. Since I knew her, She'd been an appendage and an extra financial burden to me, I can't begin to list what I've done for her, although I kept reminding her never to not have entitlement mentality and she does appreciate. Out of desperation to ease her pain, I promised to sponsor her in getting a new phone. I have burdens, huge ones, I'm yet to acquire a diesel engine for my laundry (I use ponytail industrial iron which has higher voltage/current than normal ones), plus other related merchandise that I need to set up and I feel like she slows down my financial pace.

Honestly, I don't do all these for her, hoping for any personal gains, in the words of my daddy in the Lord, Prophet T.B. Joshua, He said and I quote: "We make a living by what we get and we make a life by what we give" but I am almost fed up and tired, especially when I remember that both her parents are still alive.. I am scared that that for the 1st time, I may fail her in that financial obligation because I honestly need money now, with the whole pandemic issue plus, I feel like she slows me down in life financially and a huge burden to me. Right now, she's so attached to me, more so that when I initially wanted to hault our relationship, it almost nearly affected her academics negatively. Please I need matured minds to help me think this through and garnish me with advice(s) because I almost feel so choked up and a rising urge to relocate from here, so i can breathe again.

NB: Advice from married couples and those in serious relationships, will be highly appreciated.

Modified: She went to her bank (First bank) this morning, only to be informed that about 20k (Her mum's business money) has been used to purchase recharge voucher. Her mum sends/receives money from distant customers through her account. Yesterday's scenario, all over again. Please folks, lock your SIM cards just as much as you lock your phones. Learn from this painful experience please.

You are a good man, I just wish you can handle her financial burdens, there is hardship everywhere, I pray you marry her at the completion of her studies.

God bless u for this.. when my uncle was ready for marriage, the girl he chose, he wife her immediately... To avoid stories that touches... Ladies of nowadays, I can't really trust them at all..

Obakashdee:
I’m lost for words, as much as I am an advocate of don’t ever put girl matter for head and be forming provider, sometimes I’m usually caught up in situations like this as his girl also has potentials so it’s a two ways kind of investment, you can lose or gain.

If you know you want to sponsor someone, just go and marry the person to avoid stories. You gave your life before you. You are saving for a lot of things, as radiographer you wan travel out. So use sense o Abeg so you won’t regret this.

But remember na two ways e fit go, gain or loss.

so as i no get gf so am saving my ass from shit.....Relationship of now adays no need i love you again, small visiting and greeting, table don turn.
Bro, carry ur burden, help her if u can nd tell her to look 4 a little stuff to do. everyone is in shit.

nkemdi89:

You are a good man, I just wish you can handle her financial burdens, there is hardship everywhere, I pray you marry her at the completion of her studies.

thats where d problem lies... after her study she will tag him as a low class dry cleaner and hop over those big niggas ridding benz around.. She will 4get the help, girls are ungrateful.

ZINIBANKS:
I know am not ready yet for heavy spending and girl's bills to pay
So I don't date

Haha

I can see from your responses that you love her,that's why you have been playing the dual role of a husband and a father,she is already emotionally attached to you,but unfortunately you loved money more.A girl that wants your downfall would not advice you to save. Do not alter the status quo for now, what you need to do is have a discussion with her on how you need to cut cost for business growth,i think she will reason with you.please never remind her of the role her parents failed to play in her life"the cow has teeth but eats grass while birds that don't have teeth chew pebbles"This girl has already seen much potentials in you,never let her down,you will regret it.

LordNicvuitton:
Hi Romancelanders, don't know if it's right to share this topic here, but I'll do for now.

I'm Victory, from the East and currently a resident of Edo state. I came to this state, as an intern and thereafter, still served here and in the course of all these, I thought out and established a laundry business, which is just about 8 months old. This was to keep life going and to better bond well with the lady in my life currently.

While in Edo state, having rounded my internship & kickstarting service sometime around 2017, I met this Kiki Osemudiamen (Name changed), and it was nothing serious at 1st, cos I never really thought I'd date someone here, fact is that I never thought I'd stay beyond my service year. I met her while she was in 200l. We encouraged each other, she saw potentials and had faith in me just like I have so much faith in her. She is simplistic, encourages me to save and I in turn, encouraged her and guided her through some of her studies. She passed her 2nd MB.BS. and is currently awaiting lifting of the lockdown on schools, so she can start her clinicals.

Problem is that she came from a not buoyant family financially, and although both parents are alive, she struggles to survive/feed daily. Her dad supplies about 1000litres/trip water to households, while her mum sells at the local market. I on the other hand, came from a middle class family but my Dad is late since 2012, and I've been a sponsor of my education and that of my younger ones through the lil I inherited (which mum manages for now) plus my various endeavours. She depends on me for daily meals and other basic essentials, in fact I had to place her on salary in my laundry shop during this lockdown, so she plays the role of secretary in my shop too.

The latest challenge came about, yesterday. While she slept in the shop, I was out on errand, someone sneaked into the shop and stole her android phone with all of her e-medics textbooks (she reads mostly e-copies because she can't afford hardcopies), she has been crying all through and I really don't know what to do. Since I knew her, She'd been an appendage and an extra financial burden to me, I can't begin to list what I've done for her, although I kept reminding her never to not have entitlement mentality and she does appreciate. Out of desperation to ease her pain, I promised to sponsor her in getting a new phone. I have burdens, huge ones, I'm yet to acquire a diesel engine for my laundry (I use ponytail industrial iron which has higher voltage/current than normal ones), plus other related merchandise that I need to set up and I feel like she slows down my financial pace.

Honestly, I don't do all these for her, hoping for any personal gains, in the words of my daddy in the Lord, Prophet T.B. Joshua, He said and I quote: "We make a living by what we get and we make a life by what we give" but I am almost fed up and tired, especially when I remember that both her parents are still alive.. I am scared that that for the 1st time, I may fail her in that financial obligation because I honestly need money now, with the whole pandemic issue plus, I feel like she slows me down in life financially and a huge burden to me. Right now, she's so attached to me, more so that when I initially wanted to hault our relationship, it almost nearly affected her academics negatively. Please I need matured minds to help me think this through and garnish me with advice(s) because I almost feel so choked up and a rising urge to relocate from here, so i can breathe again.

NB: Advice from married couples and those in serious relationships, will be highly appreciated.

Modified: She went to her bank (First bank) this morning, only to be informed that about 20k (Her mum's business money) has been used to purchase recharge voucher. Her mum sends/receives money from distant customers through her account. Yesterday's scenario, all over again. Please folks, lock your SIM cards just as much as you lock your phones. Learn from this painful experience please.

Bro, while reading ur article, I saw a guy that is with a lady that he is not truly sure if he wants or not. She passed her MB.BS. She has a bright mind. That's a good thing for the future.

Firstly, u need to seat urself down and ask yourself if you want to spend the rest of your life with her. When u decide, seat her down and ask her the same. If both minds want it, go for it. She may be with you for what she gains from the relationship and dump u when things get better for her. You need to have that conversation with her first and observe not just her response but her countenance, reactions and expression.

She is a gold mine. Be certain if the gold is yours before u dispose wrongly.

Stay safe and pray always.

Eileene:

Where did u see smart fone in my writeup zoom and check very well u hear infact go and borrow glasses,don't forget to borrow a brain also while getting out of my mention.

Like a typical young lady, they don't think far. Superficial as well. Read the original story, you'll see that the young man said the girl uses the phone to read because she can't afford to buy textbooks. Let me write it for you, SHE USES SOFT COPIES. So, you saying he should buy her the phone automatically means "smartphones". Ode!

LordNicvuitton:


Her relatives occasionally send her clothes and shoes, that's it. Her wealthier relatives according to her, try to limit communication with them, same reason she was convinced within herself to go study medicine, so she can help her family.

After everything you claimed that you are doing for her, I hope she doesn't dump your sorry as$ when she's through with her education. Just brace yourself for the greatest heartbreak of your life! You may not escape it

Op try and engage this girl.. You may be facing the difficulties of meeting her needs today.. But I can boldly tell you that you've got a great asset for your tomorrow.. Its just a matter of time.. When she is done schooling.. I believe she wont forget you. Dnt get tired of her. And Pls be open to her. Dnt be mute killing yourself gradually on the sake of satisfying her. Let her realize whats going on,, dnt prove Mr capable 4 her. And again, engage this lady, she be great asset for your home. The money is still coming back.

Eileene:

This one has comprehension problem seriously.Read what you wrote up there and then go through the writeup you quoted.This time do it slowly.

Get out and get a job. Stop living off a man, you leech. You won't go far if you think this way. All successful women in life are independent. Learn.

quote author=LordNicvuitton post=92184622]Hi Romancelanders, don't know if it's right to share this topic here, but I'll do for now.

I'm Victory, from the East and currently a resident of Edo state. I came to this state, as an intern and thereafter, still served here and in the course of all these, I thought out and established a laundry business, which is just about 8 months old. This was to keep life going and to better bond well with the lady in my life currently.

While in Edo state, having rounded my internship & kickstarting service sometime around 2017, I met this Kiki Osemudiamen (Name changed), and it was nothing serious at 1st, cos I never really thought I'd date someone here, fact is that I never thought I'd stay beyond my service year. I met her while she was in 200l. We encouraged each other, she saw potentials and had faith in me just like I have so much faith in her. She is simplistic, encourages me to save and I in turn, encouraged her and guided her through some of her studies. She passed her 2nd MB.BS. and is currently awaiting lifting of the lockdown on schools, so she can start her clinicals.

Problem is that she came from a not buoyant family financially, and although both parents are alive, she struggles to survive/feed daily. Her dad supplies about 1000litres/trip water to households, while her mum sells at the local market. I on the other hand, came from a middle class family but my Dad is late since 2012, and I've been a sponsor of my education and that of my younger ones through the lil I inherited (which mum manages for now) plus my various endeavours. She depends on me for daily meals and other basic essentials, in fact I had to place her on salary in my laundry shop during this lockdown, so she plays the role of secretary in my shop too.

The latest challenge came about, yesterday. While she slept in the shop, I was out on errand, someone sneaked into the shop and stole her android phone with all of her e-medics textbooks (she reads mostly e-copies because she can't afford hardcopies), she has been crying all through and I really don't know what to do. Since I knew her, She'd been an appendage and an extra financial burden to me, I can't begin to list what I've done for her, although I kept reminding her never to not have entitlement mentality and she does appreciate. Out of desperation to ease her pain, I promised to sponsor her in getting a new phone. I have burdens, huge ones, I'm yet to acquire a diesel engine for my laundry (I use ponytail industrial iron which has higher voltage/current than normal ones), plus other related merchandise that I need to set up and I feel like she slows down my financial pace.

Honestly, I don't do all these for her, hoping for any personal gains, in the words of my daddy in the Lord, Prophet T.B. Joshua, He said and I quote: "We make a living by what we get and we make a life by what we give" but I am almost fed up and tired, especially when I remember that both her parents are still alive.. I am scared that that for the 1st time, I may fail her in that financial obligation because I honestly need money now, with the whole pandemic issue plus, I feel like she slows me down in life financially and a huge burden to me. Right now, she's so attached to me, more so that when I initially wanted to hault our relationship, it almost nearly affected her academics negatively. Please I need matured minds to help me think this through and garnish me with advice(s) because I almost feel so choked up and a rising urge to relocate from here, so i can breathe again.

NB: Advice from married couples and those in serious relationships, will be highly appreciated.

Modified: She went to her bank (First bank) this morning, only to be informed that about 20k (Her mum's business money) has been used to purchase recharge voucher. Her mum sends/receives money from distant customers through her account. Yesterday's scenario, all over again. Please folks, lock your SIM cards just as much as you lock your phones. Learn from this painful experience please.[/quote]

Oga better give yourself some sense

U are struggling and also dating a burden called student. She will only use you until she graduates n moves on.
Stop sacrificing your life for a lady except she is ur wife.
Look for a more stable lady and leave this burden.
I avoid students when dating

VicM6:
thats where d problem lies... after her study she will tag him as a low class dry cleaner and hop over those big niggas ridding benz around.. She will 4get the help, girls are ungrateful.

That is it, human beings are generally humble when they are depending on you for something, it goes both way , I use to have a boyfriend, whenever he was broke, he will be to close to me , because he knows I will lend him money and feed him , but the moment he gets a big contract he will distribute his money to friends while abandoning even his own mother.

Soon she will be a medical doctor and feel you are not at her level.

You know what to do; just do it.

VicM6:
thats where d problem lies... after her study she will tag him as a low class dry cleaner and hop over those big niggas ridding benz around.. She will 4get the help, girls are ungrateful.

The chances of this girl marrying the niggar is damn low, because in addition to their ungrateful character, most humans dnt like to commit to people they feel indebted to especially if she is now twice your status or more.

OP has gotten himself entangled but pls let her know once its beyond your capability. In order words, Help her out of your spare. Your future is more at stake as a man. To avoid deep stories that touch the heart.

Good day. It's a dicey one but if U have seen the potentials u like in her, stick to her. It's not easy but U have to explain the situation explicitly to her. I understand ur pragmatic mindset buy pls understand where she is coming from, there is alot she is battling on the inside. If can get the phone for her do, even if U can't sit down with her to understand ur current predicament. Yes it might not end in marriage but I believe in always ending on a good note no matter wot it is.

LordNicvuitton:
Hi Romancelanders, don't know if it's right to share this topic here, but I'll do for now.

I'm Victory, from the East and currently a resident of Edo state. I came to this state, as an intern and thereafter, still served here and in the course of all these, I thought out and established a laundry business, which is just about 8 months old. This was to keep life going and to better bond well with the lady in my life currently.

While in Edo state, having rounded my internship & kickstarting service sometime around 2017, I met this Kiki Osemudiamen (Name changed), and it was nothing serious at 1st, cos I never really thought I'd date someone here, fact is that I never thought I'd stay beyond my service year. I met her while she was in 200l. We encouraged each other, she saw potentials and had faith in me just like I have so much faith in her. She is simplistic, encourages me to save and I in turn, encouraged her and guided her through some of her studies. She passed her 2nd MB.BS. and is currently awaiting lifting of the lockdown on schools, so she can start her clinicals.

Problem is that she came from a not buoyant family financially, and although both parents are alive, she struggles to survive/feed daily. Her dad supplies about 1000litres/trip water to households, while her mum sells at the local market. I on the other hand, came from a middle class family but my Dad is late since 2012, and I've been a sponsor of my education and that of my younger ones through the lil I inherited (which mum manages for now) plus my various endeavours. She depends on me for daily meals and other basic essentials, in fact I had to place her on salary in my laundry shop during this lockdown, so she plays the role of secretary in my shop too.

The latest challenge came about, yesterday. While she slept in the shop, I was out on errand, someone sneaked into the shop and stole her android phone with all of her e-medics textbooks (she reads mostly e-copies because she can't afford hardcopies), she has been crying all through and I really don't know what to do. Since I knew her, She'd been an appendage and an extra financial burden to me, I can't begin to list what I've done for her, although I kept reminding her never to not have entitlement mentality and she does appreciate. Out of desperation to ease her pain, I promised to sponsor her in getting a new phone. I have burdens, huge ones, I'm yet to acquire a diesel engine for my laundry (I use ponytail industrial iron which has higher voltage/current than normal ones), plus other related merchandise that I need to set up and I feel like she slows down my financial pace.

Honestly, I don't do all these for her, hoping for any personal gains, in the words of my daddy in the Lord, Prophet T.B. Joshua, He said and I quote: "We make a living by what we get and we make a life by what we give" but I am almost fed up and tired, especially when I remember that both her parents are still alive.. I am scared that that for the 1st time, I may fail her in that financial obligation because I honestly need money now, with the whole pandemic issue plus, I feel like she slows me down in life financially and a huge burden to me. Right now, she's so attached to me, more so that when I initially wanted to hault our relationship, it almost nearly affected her academics negatively. Please I need matured minds to help me think this through and garnish me with advice(s) because I almost feel so choked up and a rising urge to relocate from here, so i can breathe again.

NB: Advice from married couples and those in serious relationships, will be highly appreciated.

Modified: She went to her bank (First bank) this morning, only to be informed that about 20k (Her mum's business money) has been used to purchase recharge voucher. Her mum sends/receives money from distant customers through her account. Yesterday's scenario, all over again. Please folks, lock your SIM cards just as much as you lock your phones. Learn from this painful experience please.

LordNicvuitton:


Her parents shelter her, pay some of her school fees, although sometime late. I help out too. I'm like an extension of her parents and like I typed before, I did those things out of love, knowing that i have helped even total strangers financially, that is humanity.

I reasoned with your comment and something else came to my mind. Maybe i can leave the laundry business for her to run while I come around to supervise from time to time, then I move back to Lagos to go look for a more permanent job. I'm a health professional btw. Truth be told, she has pleaded with me in the past, not to relocate until she gets to 600l, that I'm a very supportive part of her life and that I motivate her. We do care about each other and even if she ends up with someone else, I'll still be happy I was part of her life, although we ain't even from the same tribe. Thanks bro for your advice.

She not the first to attend medical school, I advise you engage and possibly marry her soonest.
Else you see Edo babes ehn, it may just end in tears.

Get her a small phone. if you can open a small business for her to be independent
. nothing is worst than bringing a girlfriend to your place of hustle.

don't be surprised you can do heaven and earth for her and another person go marry am

she won't even invite you for her wedding

Have you been f**king each other?
If yes, that's the reason why u find it hard to remove that extra appendage like you said

May it nt end in tears when she's finally done with Sch..... Well I Wil advice u do stuff based on what's u can afford... What won't affect you

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I was expecting u 2 say sumtin like she also stole ur money. My brother their is no saint in business, their must surely be a loose end nd ur ability 2 manage it is wat makes u different from earners. Do you have any other worker apart 4rm her? If no, 4rm wat u listed above dat lady is more of an asset 2 u than a liability. D problem is nt abt u placing her on a salary cos she is working for u nd trust me laudry business is nt a one man show u nid a helping hand nd ur helper is entitled 2 sum stipend. My little advice cut down some unnecessary expens. For christ sake Wat on earth are u doing with dat heavy iron dat required diesel b4 being into used. U are just starting so Slow down bro, u can go for d lesser one atleast it can save u sum cost, seek for more prospect and increase d goodwill of ur business dnt wait 4 ur customers 2 cum for u rather go for them, print ur cards share it, advertise ur business.

Let her get a job in a pharmaceutical company or shop.

Tell her to marry you or at least be engaged to you and see her and he parents next reaction.
I tell people if she is not ready to engage you and marry(no be by mouth,i mean do traditional lowkey wedding)then she is just scoping your destiny
Women can can pretend and change so fast.
I ready and notice that you aren't answering the marriage or engagement related posts.
If she is doing "ehmmmm,ehmmmm about engagement" then awe ,run.
I'm talking from experience

In all honesty bro...its not too late to redefine ur relationship with this lady...sit her down and talk to her about ur concerns(respectfully) while making her see why u both need to cut down on expenses(cos this I bliv is only what I see is wrong with the relationship)...and about not thinking of 'gaining' anything from her, bro no man goes into a relationship without thinking of a gain be it when you go with either an ulterior motive or not...shes in a relationship with u for a reason bro(time will tell..but dont put her to any test to prove this)...Be more INTENTIONAL with her henceforth bro for your sanity as it's obvious u really do like this lady....and pls stop giving too many obvious details on the relationship as this can be seen by any of ur mutual friends...take care

Kuku help her if you want to

Zzyco:


She not the first to attend medical school, I advise you engage and possibly marry her soonest.
Else you see Edo babes ehn, it may just end in tears.

i just dey pity the guy.
Edo bae,that is the only state i can't marry from,except the lady was not raised there.

Remix10:
I don't get, she works in your shop and you pay her and she collects after you fed her and provided her needs? methinks she stays with you too. If she is grateful being, she should refuse any salary you give her. she should work for free. Stop paying her if you would end up taking care of her needs. that will ease your financial burden. You are becoming a simp, Man up and take control, don't allow your sympathy transcend to stupidity.

Becoming a simp or already a Simp.. OP will learn the hard way...that girl will shit on him after graduation ..

This girl will dump you like shittt once she graduates, no be doctors again? Their ego are usually very high.

nkemdi89:

That is it, human beings are generally humble when they are depending on you for something, it goes both way , I use to have a boyfriend, whenever he was broke, he will be to close to me , because he knows I will lend him money and feed him , but the moment he gets a big contract he will distribute his money to friends while abandoning even his own mother.

lolz, you re right thou.... i remember one mad guy that needed help from me badly that he has to place a call 6am to me... he promised me some cash after the help but reversed was the case..... hahahaha, human beings.... Well, i pity OP bcus with the way he wrote that write-up, Op is in mess.

phollybee:
Op try and engage this girl.. You may be facing the difficulties of meeting her needs today.. But I can boldly tell you that you've got a great asset for your tomorrow.. Its just a matter of time.. When she is done schooling.. I believe she wont forget you. Dnt get tired of her. And Pls be open to her. Dnt be mute killing yourself gradually on the sake of satisfying her. Let her realize whats going on,, dnt prove Mr capable 4 her. And again, engage this lady, she be great asset for your home. The money is still coming back.

What makes you think she won't forget him. People forget so easily . It has happend times and times again and the experience can be painful.

GOOOGLE504:


The chances of this girl marrying the niggar is damn low, because in addition to their ungrateful character, most humans dnt like to commit to people they feel indebted to especially if she is now twice your status or more.

OP has gotten himself entangled but pls let her know once its beyond your capability. In order words, Help her out of your spare. Your future is more at stake as a man. To avoid deep stories that touch the heart.

Exactly o, Op will soon learn the hard way and btw them, op has the hughest chance of loosing.