ZINIBANKS:
I know am not ready yet for heavy spending and girl's bills to pay
So I don't date

Yes I understand your stance, however I'm old enough to date and I would love to settle down in a few years.

LordNicvuitton:


Yes I understand your stance, however I'm old enough to date and I would love to settle down in a few years.

Oh ok good for you
But not for me

Obakashdee:
I’m lost for words, as much as I am an advocate of don’t ever put girl matter for head and be forming provider, sometimes I’m usually caught up in situations like this as his girl also has potentials so it’s a two ways kind of investment, you can lose or gain.

If you know you want to sponsor someone, just go and marry the person to avoid stories. You gave your life before you. You are saving for a lot of things, as radiographer you wan travel out. So use sense o Abeg so you won’t regret this.

But remember na two ways e fit go, gain or loss.

Yes, you typed true words as per aspirations of those in my field, however I know within me that the time for marriage is not ripe for me. 1st things first and that is why I'm laying the foundations for now.

LKTJ123:
Op U Make Me Remember How I Got Madly In Love With Dis Girl With A Financial Problems Both Her Parents Are Not Educated And Her Mum Was D 5th Wife And D Last Wife. Her Father Was D Type That Neva Care Abt Children, And She Is D Last Born Of The Entire Family. All Her Financial Expenses Was On Me At Some Point Her Family Just Ignored Her Completely To Me, And Dat Nearly Destoyed My Career Though She Is A Very Good Girl And A Perfect House Wife Material. After Years We Break Up And I Can Tell U That Was D Best Decision In My Life. What I Got For U Is That U Should Make A Wise Choice There Alot Of Good Girls Out There Be Wise So U Won't Regret It 4 D Rest Of Your Life!

Well bro, I cannot tell how it goes from here but I try not to compare my relationship with another or use another person's experience as the most likely outcome of mine. What ever happens, it's all good. Mind you, I have dated ladies from comfortable backgrounds in the past. For me, it's wisdom, someone with a potentially good future and healthy aspirations. I'm a sapiosexual btw.

Jorby:
I'm only concerned about the phone aspect...
Op,don't you pay her salaries? So after buying the phone, you will also pay her salary for the month?
Op, what you should do is take her salary for the month,add little money to it and get her a good phone.

Yes bro I read your input, you know ladies and their monthly needs, I discussed with her just this morning when she came to the shop, that I'll accumulate money on her behalf, for a new phone and will reduce her salary so as to meet up. I also modified my post, we discovered that they had access to her account through her SIM card and recharged directly from her account, emptying it completely. This just further complicates things.

Eileene:

Seems the phone is the major problem. Why don't you get her a small one first.She should let go of the ebooks for now instead she could look for one or two senior course mates to give her their old books. She should just try and improvise when there is life there is hope.

Yes I like this idea too as it pertains to her study materials, she however she has a resit in one of her basics as she missed the test (due to late school fees payment), so she needs materials as soon as possible and school isn't in session, few students around. I know that they'll immediately be subjected to that resit, once school resumes.

LordNicvuitton:


Yes I like this idea too as it pertains to her study materials, she however she has a resit in one of her basics as she missed the test (due to late school fees payment), so she needs materials as soon as possible and school isn't in session, few students around. I know that they'll immediately be subjected to that resit, once school resumes.

Just find a way around it,she could use ur fone when you are together or if buying some of the materials are cheaper get 1 or 2.Most times ebooks are too wide and offpoint.

are her parents helping her in any way?
are you doing more for her compared to her parents?
it's good to help, but not at the detriment of your own life and health( mental especially). keep your finances "straight and be sincere enough to tell her you can't meet all of her needs(you no be God).
if she is a good girl as you say, she will understand. cos if e better for you e go better for her too. and vice versa.

Your daddy in tha lord gbougi dia

LordNicvuitton:


Her parents shelter her, pay some of her school fees, although sometime late. I help out too. I'm like an extension of her parents and like I typed before, I did those things out of love, knowing that i have helped even total strangers financially, that is humanity.

I reasoned with your comment and something else came to my mind. Maybe i can leave the laundry business for her to run while I come around to supervise from time to time, then I move back to Lagos to go look for a more permanent job. I'm a health professional btw. Truth be told, she has pleaded with me in the past, not to relocate until she gets to 600l, that I'm a very supportive part of her life and that I motivate her. We do care about each other and even if she ends up with someone else, I'll still be happy I was part of her life, although we ain't even from the same tribe. Thanks bro for your advice.

she would be shattered if you leave her from the look of things. it shows or seems like the while thing is real. this thing you both are having is living and is depending on the breath you guys are giving it, please don't kill it.
don't leave the business to her, try discover other value added service that can tag along she might be managing from within that she is doing there it will reduce the dependency, increase you guys finance and you would only realise and end up merging force to break bounds,
I see you guys achieving more together than splitting.

CaveAdullam:
As a man, putting a woman above your goals is one of the most dangerous simping mistake.

MBBS ko, Doctor fa.......better be ready when she finally shit you like a poo after graduation.

Be simping there.

Let him be.They will always learn the HARD way .When the lady eventually graduates,begins to receive attention from a higher status male or acquires a good job,the way she will treat him like filth, we may one day see a blog story titled "Man kills self after woman he catered for years disappoints him"

Op b4 i start!YOU ARE A GOOD GUY,ur type are rare......well am still a young dumb broke nd2 student so i have little experience about relationship,but bros u try abeg.well frm d little i knw i will advice you to (1)tell her go to the bank and block the simcard(2)start selling something else in the store like beverage,soft drink,even pos service and cautioned her to be vigilant and sharp(3)both of you will be sharing the gain until she has enough capital to managed it.life is not for the weak,encourage her(n urself)more,b tinking of new ideas.n concerning the phone n studies,they are cheap itel(andriod) below 20k(i dnt advice u 2 buy itel that fone frustrate my life).and lastly bro both of u shud be more prayerful GOD NA SURE PASS.u fit do yahoo to spice it up(dis is my bad voice talking o)

mark1703official:
Well what I think you should do is to allow her go get a job somewhere else no matter how small or big, at least that will help in reducing the weight of her dependency on you and you get to save more for your business, because wether you like it or not you're definitely going to be paying her more than what she should be earning while she works for you and that's not good for a young and growing business. Just encourage her to get another job somewhere else and then if you still want to support her in her life endeavors it wouldn't be as much as what you're spending now.



You're welcome

Words on marble.
Op, heed this advice..

If she is a good girl (I mean not cos of her current state o)..

1. Encourage her to find something else doing...like a side hustle to empower herself.
2. Stop creating that picture of u can always provide, let her see you can be financially vulnerable too
3. If she doesn't have that passion, then u can keep creating businesses while u ensure she is employed there and thus earns what u give her

The most important thing is to find a way to be sure of her true nature without your financial support.

Supporting isnt bad if u are sure of her genuine feelings and intention. But u need to be sure she and her siblings have the drive to want to succeed else your dependant pool will be so large in future that it might sink u

I don't get, she works in your shop and you pay her and she collects after you fed her and provided her needs? methinks she stays with you too. If she is grateful being, she should refuse any salary you give her. she should work for free. Stop paying her if you would end up taking care of her needs. that will ease your financial burden. You are becoming a simp, Man up and take control, don't allow your sympathy transcend to stupidity.

What exactly should we do for you now? You already itemised your problem and solution, so we go do now for you?


This is the fourth story I'd read with more or less exact in introduction,body and conclusion.

LordNicvuitton:


I want to respectfully keep our intimacy life out of this bro, but just know that I'm her 1st definition of a true love. Most of what you typed, are positive words and i thank you. I've never stopped encouraging her. She has the potential to be a life partner (trust me, I have had experiences to know this) but the financial burden is the negative in all these.

Would u rather like her to depend on someone else?
Just teach her softly and tell her ur mind.

If you are finally going to marry her, then every efforts and sacrifice you've made is worth it. But if you know that you won't marry her at the end, my brother you are only wasting your investment on another man's property. I will only invest in a lady who has a future with me. Atleast she must bear me child before I can really do any serious investment on her. So go get her pregnant and have a child from her, so that even if she leaves you tomorrow, that child will be your consolation. Be wise brother. This is Nigeria

Deep in your heart, you know what to do. I guess you just want someone to give you that same idea so that you can justify your action (whether harsh, good or bad).
Just do it. It's your life and only you know where the shoe is really itching your foot

First of all don't quote Prophet Tb Joshua wrong. They kind of love prophet TB Joshua is taking about is not romantic love. You don't have Natural(God) Love for her but you have romantic love for her, which is good for couples. Such kind of romantic love cannot give you they kind of life they prophet is taking about. Back to your topic, all I can say is be prayerful because all I can see is a one sided relationship where your lady benefits about 95%. One sided relationship has its own disadvantage, when she decides to leave you alone and go for another man, you would be the one to cry more because you invested more. Never make a mistake and think that because you provided for her all through her medical course means she would automatically love you. One can provide all his life to a lady and she could still leave you alone when she Sense that it is time to pursue her life with her dream man. If you wish to continue with your one sided relationship, please go ahead and continue. Please don't forget to open another thread and tell us what happened after you constantly provided for her and she finally graduated and got a great job with one of the best hospital in Lagos.

LordNicvuitton:


She's currently in 400l, having written her 2nd MB. So i guess it's late to do that. She's in a state university and their fees are quite high. Thanks for your input.

don't tell me you take part in her school fee too. well, from your write up, it seem she is a kind lady that do appreciate what you been doing for her, but then, never compromise your growth for any reason. i will suggest you two replan your financial situation.. getting a job somewhere else will be a better option

LordNicvuitton:


Well bro, I cannot tell how it goes from here but I try not to compare my relationship with another or use another person's experience as the most likely outcome of mine. What ever happens, it's all good. Mind you, I have dated ladies from comfortable backgrounds in the past. For me, it's wisdom, someone with a potentially good future and healthy aspirations. I'm a sapiosexual btw.

It's Your Life And No One Will Tell U How To Live It, I Wish U All D Best Nd God's Favour In Any Of The Choices U Make Bro.

look Mr man...naija girls have this uncanny natural talent of fishing out a young man with huge prospects in life out of d multitude of potential useless men..then tieing this young man down with sexual..emotional nd financial manipulations hence becoming a burden to him nd thereby limiting his growth in life or even completely ruining him...yes the girl may love nd encourage u nd the sex must be good...but d fact's dat..she's become a big burden to u..whether intentionally or unintentionally...hence an hindrance to ur future growth..Now u must choose between that girl nd ur future b4 it gets too late with a pregnancy or worse consequences...cus at d end of d day...she can still easily find one ready made man like that..hoodwink nd marry him..while u might never recover financially again if u don't use ur head now nd make ur future ur priority not a girl...I leave u with one of d 48 laws of power by Robert Greene..."never get urself so enmeshed in other people's problems while trying to help them...lest their problems becomes ur problems as well"...shalom

LordNicvuitton:


Well bro, I cannot tell how it goes from here but I try not to compare my relationship with another or use another person's experience as the most likely outcome of mine. What ever happens, it's all good. Mind you, I have dated ladies from comfortable backgrounds in the past. For me, it's wisdom, someone with a potentially good future and healthy aspirations. I'm a sapiosexual btw.

kudos for this reply Op. there many good ladies indeed, but your lady seem to be better (the way you describe her). hold on to her please. in fact i feel like to support you in buying another phone for her, but the current situation here too is beyond what mouth can describe. you can give her your phone if getting her new one will cost much since she need it most, and you should get a small/ second hand browsing phone..
any kind,serious and loyal girl deserve support brother.. God will see both of you through.. and me too

Life is too short to carry heavy burdens! In as much as you desire to assist her, whatever makes you happy should be paramount cos when the chips are down, you find yourself standing alone. Helping her is good, but dont over stretch yourself to the point of being unhappy about it. Since she has Parents she should at least ask them for assistance from time to time, (no matter how poor they might be) I am very sure she would still have gone through that school if you were not there.
Dont allow over spending to bring down your business o! If it does, who will assist you? Throw away sentiments and focus on your life, if you find yourself down she will still cry so ensure you keep standing financially. All the best.

hmm. all I can say is that i can relate as am in a similar situation also.it is well.

kongolo:
Let him be.They will always learn the HARD way .When the lady eventually graduates,begins to receive attention from a higher status male or acquires a good job,the way she will treat him like filth, we may one day see a blog story titled "Man kills self after woman he catered for years disappoints him"

Bro, Did you read my post @all? I didn't come from a poor background, even without school, I already have enough skills to persevere and excel in life. I also read a professional course, so if she marries someone else, good for her. Let me not deviate from the topic, but I have no issues with approaching a lady for a relationship neither do I lack in self esteem.

nwachukwu9:
First of all don't quote Prophet Tb Joshua wrong. They kind of love prophet TB Joshua is taking about is not romantic love. You don't have Natural(God) Love for her but you have romantic love for her, which is good for couples. Such kind of romantic love cannot give you they kind of life they prophet is taking about. Back to your topic, all I can say is be prayerful because all I can see is a one sided relationship where your lady benefits about 95%. One sided relationship has its own disadvantage, when she decides to leave you alone and go for another man, you would be the one to cry more because you invested more. Never make a mistake and think that because you provided for her all through her medical course means she would automatically love you. One can provide all his life to a lady and she could still leave you alone when she Sense that it is time to pursue her life with her dream man. If you wish to continue with your one sided relationship, please go ahead and continue. Please don't forget to open another thread and tell us what happened after you constantly provided for her and she finally graduated and got a great job with one of the best hospital in Lagos.

Bro, I wasn't referring to the romance when I quoted the MOG, I was hinting on the philanthropic role I'm playing in her life.

luminouz:
What exactly should we do for you now? You already itemised your problem and solution, so we go do now for you?


This is the fourth story I'd read with more or less exact in introduction,body and conclusion.

Keep reading stories bro.. you mustn't comment.

SEGLIZ:

she would be shattered if you leave her from the look of things. it shows or seems like the while thing is real. this thing you both are having is living and is depending on the breath you guys are giving it, please don't kill it.
don't leave the business to her, try discover other value added service that can tag along she might be managing from within that she is doing there it will reduce the dependency, increase you guys finance and you would only realise and end up merging force to break bounds,
I see you guys achieving more together than splitting.

Encouraging words, thanks a lot.

Goldenfinger:
Op b4 i start!YOU ARE A GOOD GUY,ur type are rare......well am still a young dumb broke nd2 student so i have little experience about relationship,but bros u try abeg.well frm d little i knw i will advice you to (1)tell her go to the bank and block the simcard(2)start selling something else in the store like beverage,soft drink,even pos service and cautioned her to be vigilant and sharp(3)both of you will be sharing the gain until she has enough capital to managed it.life is not for the weak,encourage her(n urself)more,b tinking of new ideas.n concerning the phone n studies,they are cheap itel(andriod) below 20k(i dnt advice u 2 buy itel that fone frustrate my life).and lastly bro both of u shud be more prayerful GOD NA SURE PASS.u fit do yahoo to spice it up(dis is my bad voice talking o)

Lol @yahoo.. scamming of any type is a never and no no for me. All the rest of your advises, I'll take. Thanks.

onwuakpachris:
look Mr man...naija girls have this uncanny natural talent of fishing out a young man with huge prospects in life out of d multitude of potential useless men..nd then tieing this young man down with sexual..emotional nd financial manipulations hence becoming a burden to him nd thereby limiting his growth in life or even completely ruining him...yes the girl may love nd encourage u nd the sex must be good...but d fact's dat..she's become a big burden to u..whether intentionally or unintentionally...hence an hindrance to ur future growth..Now u must choose between that girl nd ur future b4 it gets too late with a pregnancy or worse...cus at d end of d day...she can still easily find one ready made man like that..hook nd marry him..while u might never recover financially again if u don't use ur head now nd make ur future ur priority not a girl...I leave u with one of d 48 laws of power by Robert Greene..."never get urself so enmeshed into other people's problem...lest that problem becomes ur problem as well"...shalom

Sure, I can't make another person's problem mine in life, what happens on/before the end of this year, determines where I go from here. If I'm not retained by the hospital, I'll definitely move cos my profession is something I can't joke with.