humilitypays:
Shebi your fellow ladies here say all the teaching abi learning threads telling guys never to date broke ladies or marry one or spend a dime on a lady na wash


Guys are upgrading oh, ladies need to be worried and amend their ways



I went to the bank few weeks ago after a very long time cos I can't remember the last time I visited a bank but because it was a forex stuff and the bank said only account owner can pay so so amount of foreign bills to a Dom account, so I decided to go myself bcsuse I needed the money lodged into that account urgently.


There was a queu, in the queue and the one I met inside the banking hall again, I got to meet a pretty damsel; don't ask me how


We exchanged contacts. I later discovered the girl was a student at a private uni lol

A week later she started that crap talk of I need to tell you something please lol, I started laughing when I heard that cos I already know lol


She said she need an urgent help bla bla bla, I burst into laughter and ended the call. She sent pages of messages, I never read till today.


Few days later she called and apologized and said so because she asked me for a favor that she knows I am bigger than, that I stopped replying her messages or picking her calls, I laughed it off.


See, ladies have abused those little privilege from guys....ladies and girls must wake up and realize that guys no longer cherish those their I need a help. No guy want to be tagged mugu or maga or hoodlum lol




In years to come, relationship will be like business transaction; give me this and take this strictly defined, no more hiding under relationship or dating to milk guys while laughing at them behind.


Many guys now are scared of broke ladies.....many guys are single and financially settled to marry but they don't want to marry any jobless or broke lady who also comes from poor family and still lack humility and respect

pocohantas:
You are overthinking things.

How can you keep saying you haven’t eaten for 3days without any explanation? Haba! Don’t you know that is Naija babes intro to ask for urgent 2k?

The guy is not psychic to know you were fasting. Whenever I tell a man I haven’t eaten, I always make sure I add the reason (e.g) Busy day, I am trying to watch my intake/weight...etc.

While it wasn’t so nice of him to disappear, we should remember that building relationships is hard in Nigeria because we suspect ourselves too much. Imagine if he kept telling you he is lonely.

It is okay if you want to block him, I just want you to know you are not entirely blameless. It takes time and trust to unlock certain aspects of a friendship...

CalliDora1:


Exactly how I've been replying his text since last night. the next thing was "are you angry at me? Why are you responding like this? . Imagine.. I just replied, nothing.

CalliDora1:
Long post. Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o.

usb2016:

I know He must be a Typical Yoruba gold digger , that is how they behave looking for an independent lady to depend on . Please just block his ass and move on with your hustle. Ndi Ofe ose!!!

CalliDora1:


Lol.. you see my life? I'm not reasoning anything o. Just looking for a diplomatic way to ghost him because I know he'll want to come with bro stunts. He might want to come and start using sharing of Bible tactics for me and if I ignore, e go be like say person don chop winch. So want be very diplomatic and polite as possible.

infogenius:


Yeah most likely.
Since you can't provide food why continue to ask.
You have a point there.

But i have come to discover that all ladies are not same.
Some will not give reasons until you ask why.
If you don't ask, she says nothing.
Before they are been labeled as beggars.

Someone tells you she hasn't eaten for three days you have reached out to her, out of curiosity it is expected that the guy asks why.
What if the lady was sick or depressed?

I believe the op is one those ladies that will not talk to much to people or men she is not really close to.

HoluGraze:

Did she ask?...
Even the bible said ask and it shall be given not assume or test and it shall be given.

They way some of you reason baffles me

Bodyodour:
he asked you for 3 days whether you have eaten and you said NO. Any Nigerian guy will cut-off any connection because its now an indirect way of collecting money. Check it nah. Ask most Nigerian girls how she is doing she will tell you she is not fine.Ask her why she will tell you money is her problem .

Xisnin:
@CalliDora1, don't assume the worse of people. Some are embarrassed when they can't help their friends. Where he went wrong was continuing to ask whether you have eaten since he couldn't help. I am not insisting that this applies to your friend but not all similar reactions are borne out of contempt.

timota:

if u no want make it be like person chop winch ,just start by telling him "as I dey here no be say I chop winch o"

CalliDora1:


This is not a matter of being presumtious. it is very glaring he's a fair wheather friend and I think I'm done.

YourCoffin:
Madam was watering ground for the normal urgent 2k. Guy man saw through it and jakpa.

Kpele dear. As you dey avoid men's burden na so wise guys dey dey begin avoid women's burden

Abi you thnk all the advice they get here no dey enter their head

CalliDora1:


I taya o. I don't understand how she's seeing this whole thing. Anyways, people view things differently. So...

pocohantas:
You are overthinking things.

How can you keep saying you haven’t eaten for 3days without any explanation? Haba! Don’t you know that is Naija babes intro to ask for urgent 2k?

The guy is not psychic to know you were fasting. Whenever I tell a man I haven’t eaten, I always make sure I add the reason (e.g) Busy day, I am trying to watch my intake/weight...etc.

While it wasn’t so nice of him to disappear, we should remember that building relationships is hard in Nigeria because we suspect ourselves too much. Imagine if he kept telling you he is lonely.

It is okay if you want to block him, I just want you to know you are not entirely blameless. It takes time and trust to unlock certain aspects of a friendship...

CalliDora1:


Husband is not scarce for me o. I only don't easily fall in love. Thats the only downside for me.

Chiquitq:
He is not an all weather friend but kindly note that telling someone that you've not eaten more than once also sends wrong signals. Except it is obvious that you are too busy to eat. Forget about this guy, he doesn't mean well at all. If you really lost your job and you were good friends, he might have offered a token to cushion the effect but then again, some girls would turn such nice gesture into an opportunity to take a man for granted and milk him. Just forget about this guy.

CalliDora1:


I taya o. I don't understand how she's seeing this whole thing. Anyways, people view things differently. So...

Ademoore07:
Forget about wrong signal. Why didn't he ask her the reason behind that? That guy is a kid, not a man.

tellwisdom:


U enter into unplanned fasting because your business de on suspense. Now guy man wan weigh all the circumstances behind your business and connect am with your present hunger situation.. And I sure say the guy will not just wake up one morning and be asking you all these questions if something didn’t trigger it. Ogbeni, u de vex becos guy man don unlock u before u lock am. Try another person for Anambra.

Michdaf:
I don't normally do this before but I am forced to because op and most commenting really misunderstood me. Yeah am the guy. I had to create this new account to hid my identity. Am Christian and everything I said and did I did with good intentions. Am not the type of guys that will blank or reject her because of money. I really wanted to her then. Infact one the reason I back peddled was because I couldn't assist then. She pose to me then like she was truly in need and I felt ashamed of myself. Not knowing she was lying. She could tell from my intentions then that I meant well. I was going through a lot of this then. Some of which the op knew about. I had this issue that landed me in court. Though she didn't know about the court issue. Am this type of person if am going through a ruff part, I don't like disturbing others. I keep things to myself. We just knew each other, and I cannot be sharing all this with you. If the op notice then, I wasn't if commenting on nl then. I was reserve in everything. Since

purples25:
NL MEET UP? NL RELATIONSHIP?

MOST OF THEM BELIEVE ALL WOMEN ARE BEGGARS, LIARS AND PRETENDERS. SOME OF THEM ONLY BEFRIEND YOU TO COME BACK HERE TO INSULT YOU AND REVEAL YOUR PERSONAL DETAILS. YOU WERE UNLUCKY THIS TIME BUT NOT ALL ARE BAD.

STILL, BE CAREFUL! THIS IS WHAT MOST OF THEM DO. A LOT OF THEM ( NOT ALL ) ARE BITTER AND SEVERELY BIASED AND OUT TO ' EXPOSE' WHAT NEVER OCCURRED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

SORRY DEAR.

Chiquitq:
He is not an all weather friend but kindly note that telling someone that you've not eaten more than once also sends wrong signals. Except it is obvious that you are too busy to eat. Forget about this guy, he doesn't mean well at all. If you really lost your job and you were good friends, he might have offered a token to cushion the effect but then again, some girls would turn such nice gesture into an opportunity to take a man for granted and milk him. Just forget about this guy.