₦airaland Forum

Mrscarter:
Yeah I know. I just believe a marraige is between a man n his wife not their families n therefore they should work it out between them. I don't think it's right a wife denying her husband. I mean if she's not feeling well or something then fair enuff but constantly like that it's not a gud marraige. So I think he needs get her attracted to him.

The husband has tried as a man yet the wife remains adamant which is why he has to inform her parents. Mothers are good in handling issues like this. When her mother starts talking senses into her she would have a rethink, words like

"Where did you get this from, i never starved your father of sex i was even the one spoiling him with sex. Do you want a strange woman to take over your home? Do you want another woman to raise your kids? Please pity me i don't want any of my children to have marital problems"

Words like these coming from a loving mother should have effect on her. Do you understand?

luminouz:
Wrong......
Stop making excuses to justify bad behavior biko.
If you live your life worrying about what people will say about your marriage,then you ain't man enough to marry.

You are the husband, act like one.

the husband that takes a car away from his wife with a kid is considered a threat to the wife irrespective of whatever reason he will give.
therefore putting him in bad light

some50686:
Hi Everyone, i got married in 2018, We are both working class.. I am in my 34 while my wife is in her late 28. My wife has been denying me sex, we rarely have sex. sometimes we can go for over a month without sex. Whenever i ask for sex, she just complains she is tired and that is it. Sometimes i would plead and try yet she wont accept. What pains me the most is the way she react when i try to approach her. She would yell and begin to shout what nonsense is this, who is this now? To the point i only could initiate sex, sat morning and even with that she still refuses. Before we got married I sat her down and told her about this issue, that i hear about it from my married friends and dont want to experience such, she assured me and said our wont be like that but our is now worse. I am not sure we had sex more than 12 times the whole of last year.

The first time i sat her down, i asked her why she is doing all this to me, she complained i dont show her enough love, that she wants me to do more house chores, and also take her to eat outside and watch movies. I told her i will try. Although i knw am not the most romantic guy around, but i try the little ways I can, we sometimes go to see the movies. I do laundry on sat, help with ironing all the clothes she would wear during the week and cook a very few time. I ensured we got a maid so she wont be pressure by house chores. I also gave her my only car so she doesnt need to enter public transport, buy food from great eateries and even icecreams, almost every other week. But she has not changed, the last major fight we had was about 3months ago and it was about sex cause she denied me for no reason. Sex has always been the source of our quarrel. She was even telling me to go meet the maid since i am always so nice to the maid one time i tried to have sex. I really feel pained, like she is taking me for a ride because of my cool and easy going attitude. I have never raised my hand on my wife or even used abusive words. I even try to ask her how work is and gist with her to increase our bonding, yet all to no avail. I am someone who doesnt like going out to share and i believe the issue can only be fixed by the both of us, but this one is begining to drag for too long and from the look of things i am the one at the loosing end. I will go to my inlaws place and smile, nobody know how mean their daughter is to me, i too feel very ashamed raising the matter with my father inlaw. Last week i tried to initiate sex the same rejection, she is tired. I felt very frustrated and am now seriously considering cheating even though i am a Christian. Cheating is not right, cause it is expensive and emotionally draining, exposes one to STDs and it is against my Christian faith but what can i do? Sometime i have had to masturbate to suppress my sexual urge, but for how long can one continue to do this? I feel very ashamed coming to nairaland but what can i do. But dont get me wrong o, my wife has her good sides but this sex issue is really beginning to hurt and it does nt look like she would change anytime soon from the way she has been behaving.

Even if she doesnt find me attractive, should that be enough reason to continue to deny me sex after 3 months. Right now we are not speaking at the moment, cause i am mad with her. The next day after all she did, she come to greet me in the morning and acts like nothing happen. This is how she does and most time i always over look it, but the one from last week really hurt the most. I feel I have made a mistake marrying her. She also doesn't really care about my eating, most time she is only bothered about what our son and the maid will eat. I always have to go to the kitchen and look for what to eat, sometimes i get food outside. Even though i always drop food money. since we started quarrelling she has stopped cooking for me. Just very frustrated.

To the experienced married men in the house, what can i do the address this issue. I am considering collecting my car, not that it would be of any use to me , just to frustrate her

start fuccking outside, don't allow her to know, when she sees that u are not bothering her about sex again her brain will reset. pls keep on doing ur duty as husband and father. when konji don hold her she go surely open leg for u

Fidelismaria:
[s]You're a BLOODY SIMP

Lol, you even wash and iron your wife clothes!!![/s]

TUFIAKWA

Alfa mail

Mr op, idk why you're stressing yourself when you can get a second wife, it's African culture to be polygamous so don't be scared.

MY sincere advise.
1. You might not be satisfying her whenever you have sex with her making the sexual moment unsatisfactory.
2. It does not necessary means she is cheating on you.
3. Anytime you have the opportunity to have sex with her, make sure you fire her till she cry for help don't pity her (this is no joke)
4. Work on your sexual stamina using honey,ginger,garlic and the likes and there are some herbal medicine in drugs form that you can take over a period of time like one month so that anytime she gives you the opportunity again you tutor her without mercy.
5. Cheating or having a side chick is a sin but it sometimes reduce the tension at home. The rate you are going if you are not careful it could lead to divorce or you might beat her, injure her because sexual denial makes men go crazy especially those that do not cheat.
6. You can also pray to God for total control of your home.
Wisdom is profitable

May God help your home.

some50686:
Hi Everyone, i got married in 2018, We are both working class.. I am in my 34 while my wife is in her late 28. My wife has been denying me sex, we rarely have sex. sometimes we can go for over a month without sex. Whenever i ask for sex, she just complains she is tired and that is it. Sometimes i would plead and try yet she wont accept. What pains me the most is the way she react when i try to approach her. She would yell and begin to shout what nonsense is this, who is this now? To the point i only could initiate sex, sat morning and even with that she still refuses. Before we got married I sat her down and told her about this issue, that i hear about it from my married friends and dont want to experience such, she assured me and said our wont be like that but our is now worse. I am not sure we had sex more than 12 times the whole of last year.

The first time i sat her down, i asked her why she is doing all this to me, she complained i dont show her enough love, that she wants me to do more house chores, and also take her to eat outside and watch movies. I told her i will try. Although i knw am not the most romantic guy around, but i try the little ways I can, we sometimes go to see the movies. I do laundry on sat, help with ironing all the clothes she would wear during the week and cook a very few time. I ensured we got a maid so she wont be pressure by house chores. I also gave her my only car so she doesnt need to enter public transport, buy food from great eateries and even icecreams, almost every other week. But she has not changed, the last major fight we had was about 3months ago and it was about sex cause she denied me for no reason. Sex has always been the source of our quarrel. She was even telling me to go meet the maid since i am always so nice to the maid one time i tried to have sex. I really feel pained, like she is taking me for a ride because of my cool and easy going attitude. I have never raised my hand on my wife or even used abusive words. I even try to ask her how work is and gist with her to increase our bonding, yet all to no avail. I am someone who doesnt like going out to share and i believe the issue can only be fixed by the both of us, but this one is begining to drag for too long and from the look of things i am the one at the loosing end. I will go to my inlaws place and smile, nobody know how mean their daughter is to me, i too feel very ashamed raising the matter with my father inlaw. Last week i tried to initiate sex the same rejection, she is tired. I felt very frustrated and am now seriously considering cheating even though i am a Christian. Cheating is not right, cause it is expensive and emotionally draining, exposes one to STDs and it is against my Christian faith but what can i do? Sometime i have had to masturbate to suppress my sexual urge, but for how long can one continue to do this? I feel very ashamed coming to nairaland but what can i do. But dont get me wrong o, my wife has her good sides but this sex issue is really beginning to hurt and it does nt look like she would change anytime soon from the way she has been behaving.

Even if she doesnt find me attractive, should that be enough reason to continue to deny me sex after 3 months. Right now we are not speaking at the moment, cause i am mad with her. The next day after all she did, she come to greet me in the morning and acts like nothing happen. This is how she does and most time i always over look it, but the one from last week really hurt the most. I feel I have made a mistake marrying her. She also doesn't really care about my eating, most time she is only bothered about what our son and the maid will eat. I always have to go to the kitchen and look for what to eat, sometimes i get food outside. Even though i always drop food money. since we started quarrelling she has stopped cooking for me. Just very frustrated.

To the experienced married men in the house, what can i do the address this issue. I am considering collecting my car, not that it would be of any use to me , just to frustrate her

Bro, I have advice but it might not be easy but just do it.

Start going to the gym and working out. Work out at least 3 times a week, don't invite your wife to come along with you. Get dietary supplements and eat healthy foods. Eats a lot of meat. Meat boosts testosterone.

Cut the excesses, stop doing chores. Stop the chores. You shouldn't be exchanging work for sex. What your wife is telling you is bullshit that you have to help with chores before you have sex. There is a guy that she will meet and have sex with immediately without him helping her with chores.

It's sad but genuine desire has been lost. You have to get it back by building yourself.

Try as much as possible to improve your status over her own. Don't try to negotiate sex.

Please read 'the rational male' by Rollo Tomassi and 'no more Mr nice guy' by Robert Glover

Thank you and you can dm me

Preshmane:
brotherman, my own little advice is for you not to ask sex or do like it's bothering you anymore, if it get too hard masturbate, when she notice your change in attitude towards her she will think you are getting elsewhere and call herself to order, unless she doesn't want the relationship anymore

But the guy told you he has been Masturbating

Tell me again about no relationship before marriage.

My friend, do not be afraid to separate for irreconcilable reasons.

All her merry go round chores are to distract you.

She may be recovering from abuse, she may dislike sex, she may be scared of pregnancy (although she will likely disturb you for sex if she wants to get pregnant), she may not find you attractive, etc. There are so many reasons but my dear, those reasons are not your business.

women marry who is ready and not who they love
once u find urself in this unfortunate situation
u will be denied sex while she goes back to who dey love to get her steady bleeps
it has nothing to do with u not being romantic
it has everything to do with the person who makes love to her mind b4 her body

if u like buy her the world it wont change a thing
someone is making love to her mind
she would rather be with him than wit u
it may also be a woman u are dragging her with
look well
the problem is near u

Lol.

More gaslighting.

moneyshop:
From people's experiences, most marriages do pass through this stage. After first child, there's always this rejection by the woman in MANY marriages.

I don't want you to see this little challenge as if you're passing through hell... No!

It's a phase that will soon pass. Whatever you do or plan doing, don't cheat on her. That will cause the main problem that you think you have now, and then it'll rain brim stones and fire. Be patient.

Don't follow the advice of any unmarried little kid that will come here to shout "SIMP," overlook them, they'll understand when it gets to their turn.

Keep treating your wife well, don't take the car away from her, don't punish her in any way, so long as it's only sex that is the issue, it'll soon pass.

Try and control your sexual urge, whatever you do at this trying time, will decide how peaceful your home will be. Be cool and handle everything in a matured way, she'll change by herself.

Hear me again bro, this too shall pass. It only needs patience.

Terrible advice that could be used in court as evidence of infidelity or mental abuse if/when they try to divorce.

tobechi74:
What role do you play in her life?
If financial, withdraw from it. Tell her you need money to service Ashewo.
Come back late, tell her you are coming from a prostitute place

Flirt with girls in her presence,

Do not ask her for sex again.

If she dresses with some part of her body exposed, tell her she is too far or black etc.
You do not find her attractive again.

Intentionally,buy a packet of condom and remove one and place it where she will see it

Place a bigger bra in your bedroom.


https://tobechispeaks./2020/11/04/a-little-fragrance-of-divorce/

cooooooks:
Tell me again about no relationship before marriage.

My friend, do not be afraid to separate for irreconcilable reasons.

All her merry go round chores are to distract you.

She may be recovering from abuse, she may dislike sex, she may be scared of pregnancy (although she will likely disturb you for sex if she wants to get pregnant), she may not find you attractive, etc. There are so many reasons but my dear, those reasons are not your business.

If it is as he says, then he has suffered. I believe divorce should be a last resort, hence, I can only advise him to see a marriage counsellor/therapist. He didn't state she was like that from the beginning, hence, something must have led to it. Some women experience a decline in libido after the first childbirth, which could be as a result of physical or emotional issues, or a combination of both.
She may be feeling dry down there, and of course may feel her vagina will never be as tight as it once was, having pushed a baby out of it. Well, with kegel exercises, she can strengthen her core as well as her vagina muscles.
Or she could even be going through post partum depression, maybe she had a hard labour and as a result the fear of getting pregnant again, women are trying o.
OP, please try to take it easy. As a believer, seek God in prayers as well as schedule a visit to a qualified, licensed therapist.

This guy does not sound like any kind of heart breaker.

He probably married the most 'christian' available.

Ezi1993:
Anyway,,I don't feel pity for any guy that complains of one issue or the other that he may be having with his wife..becos you must have broken a very good Ex's heart and decided to settle for this one....Please enjoy what you paid for...Thank you.

cooooooks:
This guy does not sound like any kind of heart breaker.

He probably married the most 'christian' available.

Not so. He said apart from the sex thing, she has her good sides. It's not about beliefs here, he has to exhaust the options available to him. If it fails, then, divorce.
I really hope he and his wife pulls through this one successfully.

Divorce is an option and a process (you usually have to separate before divorcing).

I will not advise any person, man or woman, to stay in an abusive marriage because of an irrational fear of divorce.

OP's predicament is nothing new, go to reddit.com/r/deadbedrooms, and he will see man, woman after man, woman with the same predicament.

OP should leave his wife's wahala and focus on himself. HE should work out, get other hobbies and meet other friends. The person withholding sex is the only one who can change this kind of situation. OP continuing to try to change the situation, with no reward, will lead to even more mental anguish.

Chii59:
If it is as he says, then he has suffered. I believe divorce should be a last resort, hence, I can only advise him to see a marriage counsellor/therapist. He didn't state she was like that from the beginning, hence, something must have led to it. Some women experience a decline in libido after the first childbirth, which could be as a result of physical or emotional issues, or a combination of both.
She may be feeling dry down there, and of course may feel her vagina will never be as tight as it once was, having pushed a baby out of it. Well, with kegel exercises, she can strengthen her core as well as her vagina muscles.
Or she could even be going through post partum depression, maybe she had a hard labour and as a result the fear of getting pregnant again, women are trying o.
OP, please try to take it easy. As a believer, seek God in prayers as well as schedule a visit to a qualified, licensed therapist.

Cheating is not acting like a man.

OP should man up, face his life and his son and forget about his wife for now.

IF he does that, gets more hobbies, gets in shape, meets new people, etc; he can then make a decision with clarity.

degamonn:
I feel pained whenever I see my fellow men being fooled in such a manner. She has realised how weak you are and she's taking advantage of you.

There is no amount of advice that will help you except you help yourself. Stop being excessively nice to her as you can see that that is not the solution to the problem. Collect your vehicle from her, let her buy her own , she has given you the license to cheat, cheat on her and try to let her know of it.
Look, let me tell u, some people will consider my position on this as too harsh and cruel and the try to advice u to sit her down and talk things out with her, I can bet you, that wouldn't make change.
Act like a man and see the end result.

cooooooks:
Divorce is an option and a process (you usually have to separate before divorcing).

I will not advise any person, man or woman, to stay in an abusive marriage because of an irrational fear of divorce.

OP's predicament is nothing new, go to reddit.com/r/deadbedrooms, and he will see man, woman after man, woman with the same predicament.

OP should leave his wife's wahala and focus on himself. HE should work out, get other hobbies and meet other friends. The person withholding sex is the only one who can change this kind of situation. OP continuing to try to change the situation, with no reward, will lead to even more mental anguish.

It takes two to tango. I don't subscribe to him going overboard for sex, but then I don't know if that's what he was doing for love during their courtship days. I mean acts of service and giving of gifts.
His wife has a problem. The earlier she knows the better. Good men are scarce. If she throws him out, he'll find a replacement in no time.
How can you give your man sex less than 12 times in a year?

ongback:
Sorry man, there is no solution to your problem. It is the bitter truth you don't want to hear. It is only a matter of time before you start falling in/out of depression. Your wife now view sex with you as a "favour", she know that you can't take any drastic action because of your son. Accept my sympathy bro, las las na divorce e go take end. I just hope you are smart enough to start planning ahead and make some smart moves so you don't end up ruined.

When your wife start denying you sex, it can only get worse. Take it from me. An average woman in such age needs sex at least once every 3 days, some it's even daily. No matter how busy a woman may be, she can always bleep whenever she like. The busy excuse is nonsense. And dont forget that there is a high probability that she is steadily bleeping another dude outside.

I can't believe there is someone with so much sense on this issue. Just like many men, OP is spineless, stupid, and lamentable when it comes to women and relationship/marriage. The mistake OP is making is similar to that which many (Nigerian) men make: having the mindset that marriage is a point of no return. Rather than escaping from a sinking ship (irredeemable marriage/bad wife), they willingly endure pain, subservience to the wife's demands, and lack of peace of mind just because they want to fix things. They act as if divorce is not an option, as if it is unthinkable, and as if it some extreme and unreasonable thing to do. The conditioning and stupidity are just too strong.

For many married men, divorce is what's standing between them and peace of mind. Marriage is not a do-or-die, and divorce at any stage of marriage for your peace of mind is not a "sin." The OP is unfortunately doomed to learn the hard way; what he ought to do is simple but he would rather try to "fix things" and "show her more love." OP doesn't look like someone that wants to hear the truth. GOOD LUCK OP.

It takes two to tango.

It's not, in my opinion, a gift given to men by women. Perhaps OP's wife is scarred by sex, either from abuse or childbirth, that is possible.

Regardless, it is not a gift that she gives him, if she or they think that way, there are deeper mindset problems.
EDIT: OP may be terrible at sex but a good loving symbiotic couple can always learn together.

Chii59:
It takes two to tango. I don't subscribe to him going overboard for sex, but then I don't know if that's what he was doing for love during their courtship days. I mean acts of service and giving of gifts.
His wife has a problem. The earlier she knows the better. Good men are scarce. If she throws him out, he'll find a replacement in no time.
How can you give your man sex less than 12 times in a year?

luminouz:
Upon all the dowry and everything, person still weaponize sex,so you can do chores and take her out? Dey shout on you when u initiate sex?

Marriage matter ehn dey taya person jare

OP doesn't want to know the truth and do the right thing. He is looking for "solution." Nigerian men and "I have been married for __ years ...what do I do 'cos I'm tired?" are like 5 & 6

Martinez39s:
OP doesn't want to know the truth and do the right thing. He is looking for "solution." Nigerian men and "I have been married for __ years ...what do I do 'cos I'm tired?" are like 5 & 6

.

Stop EET!!!
You are keeling me!!! ..

I don tell am wetin him suppose do.

ABANGWABOI:
My Gee ..

I just read the disgusting info the dude dropped I can't help but to marvel at his sufferings ..
A married man of Barely 34 and wife of Barely 28 masturbating because he denies her sex..
This generation of men are sissies, Weaklings, effeminate and has no spine..
Personally, I thank God I stumbled on nairaland and read so much to understand the manipulative and funny nature of most women..
DEM NO BORN THAT GIRLFRIEND WEY GO DENY ME SEX WELL TALK MUCH A WIFE. I WOULD SEND YOU AWAY IMMEDIATELY AND BRING IN ANOTHER WOMAN..
One thing I understand about the poster is ... He is emotional, and when you are emotional you become vulnerable.. secondly, he has caged himself with religion..
@OP.. If you don't become bold enough to make firm decisions then know that your pain and misery just started.. by the time you get to 10yrs in that marriage . You would be suicidal and depressed...

GBAM. As simple as ABC. The OP is not here to think, hear the truth or do the right thing; he is here to seek "solutions" to the irredeemable. As long as he wants to keep kidding himself, he will be deceived by all the simp and foolish advices I am seeing here.

Inform your in-laws and your parents ASAP and get a side chick. If you can't get a side chick, just start doing things that will give her the impression you've gotten one already. She will sit up immediately.

luminouz:
Stop EET!!!
You are keeling me!!! ..

I don tell am wetin him suppose do.

OP thinks his marriage is a do-or-die and divorce is unthinkable, extreme, and irresponsible, just like most Nigerian men. No matter how much you try to preach to conditioned sheeples like the OP that you can't singlehandedly save a sinking titanic (irredeemable marriage/bad wife), they will ignore and look for "solutions" and try to "fix things." In line with OP's desire, simps and fools are dishing out comments to advice him. They are giving him the shovels to widen his bottomless pit.

cooooooks:
Cheating is not acting like a man.

OP should man up, face his life and his son and forget about his wife for now.

IF he does that, gets more hobbies, gets in shape, meets new people, etc; he can then make a decision with clarity.

sex libido is not a one-size-fits-all for men. It varies. So be fair and considerate in addressing the issue of his sex life. For a high libido man like me, your advice have not addressed my problem if I'm in his shoes.

Like I have stated before, unless she is ill or going through some birth drama (as diagnosed by a clinician), she has no excuse whatsoever to deny her man sex. I personally think she is cheating on him. Ask me how....

There are 5 love languages as we know it. physical touch is only one out of the five. His wife may not be having sex outside marriage, but she might be getting the one or more of the other four outside....and for a lot of women , that's just okay. So it's not surprising to see a woman hasnt had sex for years.

some50686:
Hi Everyone, i got married in 2018, We are both working class.. I am in my 34 while my wife is in her late 28. My wife has been denying me sex, we rarely have sex. sometimes we can go for over a month without sex. Whenever i ask for sex, she just complains she is tired and that is it. Sometimes i would plead and try yet she wont accept. What pains me the most is the way she react when i try to approach her. She would yell and begin to shout what nonsense is this, who is this now? To the point i only could initiate sex, sat morning and even with that she still refuses. Before we got married I sat her down and told her about this issue, that i hear about it from my married friends and dont want to experience such, she assured me and said our wont be like that but our is now worse. I am not sure we had sex more than 12 times the whole of last year.

The first time i sat her down, i asked her why she is doing all this to me, she complained i dont show her enough love, that she wants me to do more house chores, and also take her to eat outside and watch movies. I told her i will try. Although i knw am not the most romantic guy around, but i try the little ways I can, we sometimes go to see the movies. I do laundry on sat, help with ironing all the clothes she would wear during the week and cook a very few time. I ensured we got a maid so she wont be pressure by house chores. I also gave her my only car so she doesnt need to enter public transport, buy food from great eateries and even icecreams, almost every other week. But she has not changed, the last major fight we had was about 3months ago and it was about sex cause she denied me for no reason. Sex has always been the source of our quarrel. She was even telling me to go meet the maid since i am always so nice to the maid one time i tried to have sex. I really feel pained, like she is taking me for a ride because of my cool and easy going attitude. I have never raised my hand on my wife or even used abusive words. I even try to ask her how work is and gist with her to increase our bonding, yet all to no avail. I am someone who doesnt like going out to share and i believe the issue can only be fixed by the both of us, but this one is begining to drag for too long and from the look of things i am the one at the loosing end. I will go to my inlaws place and smile, nobody know how mean their daughter is to me, i too feel very ashamed raising the matter with my father inlaw. Last week i tried to initiate sex the same rejection, she is tired. I felt very frustrated and am now seriously considering cheating even though i am a Christian. Cheating is not right, cause it is expensive and emotionally draining, exposes one to STDs and it is against my Christian faith but what can i do? Sometime i have had to masturbate to suppress my sexual urge, but for how long can one continue to do this? I feel very ashamed coming to nairaland but what can i do. But dont get me wrong o, my wife has her good sides but this sex issue is really beginning to hurt and it does nt look like she would change anytime soon from the way she has been behaving.

Even if she doesnt find me attractive, should that be enough reason to continue to deny me sex after 3 months. Right now we are not speaking at the moment, cause i am mad with her. The next day after all she did, she come to greet me in the morning and acts like nothing happen. This is how she does and most time i always over look it, but the one from last week really hurt the most. I feel I have made a mistake marrying her. She also doesn't really care about my eating, most time she is only bothered about what our son and the maid will eat. I always have to go to the kitchen and look for what to eat, sometimes i get food outside. Even though i always drop food money. since we started quarrelling she has stopped cooking for me. Just very frustrated.

To the experienced married men in the house, what can i do the address this issue. I am considering collecting my car, not that it would be of any use to me , just to frustrate her

Are you sure your wife is not circumcised if perhaps she is, that might be the reason for the low sex drive

tobechi74:
What role do you play in her life?
If financial, withdraw from it. Tell her you need money to service Ashewo.
Come back late, tell her you are coming from a prostitute place

Flirt with girls in her presence,

Do not ask her for sex again.

If she dresses with some part of her body exposed, tell her she is too far or black etc.
You do not find her attractive again.

Intentionally,buy a packet of condom and remove one and place it where she will see it

Place a bigger bra in your bedroom.


https://tobechispeaks./2020/11/04/a-little-fragrance-of-divorce/

,


Eleribu ni e!

IDERAWOLE:
I feel like dropping some lines of advice for you, but a bit sleepy now.

From your story, your idea of a great sex is all about penetration of the organs like most men think.

Most men think the way you do. Reason for most sexual frustrations in marriages.

The starting point for great sexual experience is the holding of hands during the day when there's no sex on the agenda. Next is looking into her eyes, all the home chores you've been doing but painfully, they may not be her love languages. Find out her love languages, touching, words of affirmation, helping hands, buying of gifts etc. Some speak all of these languages, some one or two.

Sex doesn't make sense with a lady who is not asking you to make love to her. And how do you make a lady beg you for it? By those things I mentioned above.

That wife of yours will like to gist and talk and you are direct opposite of her from the way you spoke.

Forget about thrusting matter now and get to know your wife. Even lower animals love all those pre-sex fantasies, that most women want. Start practicing it, before you know it, you'll begin to run from too much sex.

See this clown who wants to make the op a clown to his wife.

Martinez39s:
See this clown who wants to make the op a clown to his wife.

Scammers everywhere.

moneyshop:
From people's experiences, most marriages do pass through this stage. After first child, there's always this rejection by the woman in MANY marriages.

I don't want you to see this little challenge as if you're passing through hell... No!

It's a phase that will soon pass. Whatever you do or plan doing, don't cheat on her. That will cause the main problem that you think you have now, and then it'll rain brim stones and fire. Be patient.

Don't follow the advice of any unmarried little kid that will come here to shout "SIMP," overlook them, they'll understand when it gets to their turn.

Keep treating your wife well, don't take the car away from her, don't punish her in any way, so long as it's only sex that is the issue, it'll soon pass.

Try and control your sexual urge, whatever you do at this trying time, will decide how peaceful your home will be. Be cool and handle everything in a matured way, she'll change by herself.

Hear me again bro, this too shall pass. It only needs patience.

Sometimes, I struggle to understand how you guys do this : like your double standards and inherent inability to call a spade a spade.

What phase are we talking about ?

These outright manipulation, and it has become so common that's even expected of men to be patient in the face of these distasteful acts.
If the narrative is to be changed, like, the man is not providing for the family, will you ask the wife to be patient and act mature for the phase will come and go ? Won't the man be dragged and called irresponsible by the general public ? Why is not the same energy used when a woman is using sex to manipulate and play the power game with his man ?
Oh, he is a man, and should keep acting mature and bottling up all his frustration in the face of situation like these ?

These is wrong on all level and should not be seen as normal, as you're trying to portray it.

Op, my advice to you ?

Let her be.
Yes, let her be and understand the power play going on on the background.
Don't disturb her again and don't react angrily to her stance on denying you sex, that reaction of anger and frustration is exactly what she wants to see, deny her that.
I know it's tough, but that's the right place to start from.

Secondly, hit the gym !
You got to understand she has lost that sexual attraction for you, and no amount of laundry, vacations and talking you do, will reignite that.
You can't not negotiate sexual desire by doing those, that's a bullshit guide.
As I said earlier on, hit the f*cking gym in your area, and start enjoying the beauty and power of such a lifestyle.
Let her see you're willing to work and improve yourself, it sends strong message to her you're got your mojo.
Apart from giving you that killer body, it's going to boost your T-level and boost your mood on the general.
If you don't have a gym in your area, start basic workouts like jogging, push up, and other exercises to get your body back in shape.
She's going to notice, and the effect will shock you.
Are you willing to do the work ?
Trust me, it's worth it.

As I said earlier, she have lost sexual desire for you, familiarity, predictable and probably your bedmatic skills are factors leading to these, and fortunately, you can work on them.
Please, quit that masturbation, you loss lots of lifetrons and energy whenever you fap, especially when you do it consistently.
Not a great place to be in, OK ?

All the actions you wanted to take to make a statement on her, angrily, please drop them.
You're strengthening her resolves by doing those, doing opposite of those actions will yield a better result.

It's all a game, and the game is not physical, it's psychological, and you must learn the psychology behind that damn game to beat her to her game.

aoshi:
This is strange. I guess this attitude was present when you were both dating as you indicated you had a discussion with her on this matter. How did she get pregnant if you had sex less than 12 times in a year? If she wasn't like this before marriage. It could be stress or she's getting it elsewhere.
I would suggest you inform both family so when you go out for sexual satisfaction nobody would blame you solely.

Though I'm not married yet, your advice is apt. Is high time you inform both families and if she's not sexually attracted to you she should say it.

But if I'm in your shoes I won't bother her for sex anymore, I will not divorce her yet but I will continue to live with her like a total stranger(I .e that she doesn't exist), if I want to drop feeding money I will give it to the househelp.

Above all I will continue to cheat on her and at the long run I will divorce her and get a second wife.
When she will have problem will be if she accuse me of cheating on her
Life is too short to be lived in such a manner

Note: will do the above after both families talk to her and she doesn't change

GLYCOLYSISS:
Sometimes, I struggle to understand how you guys do this : like your double standards and inherent inability to call a spade a spade.


Op, my advice to you ?

Let her be.
Yes, let her be and understand the power play going on on the background.
Don't disturb her again and don't react angrily to her stance on denying you sex, that reaction of anger and frustration is exactly what she wants to see, deny her that.
I know it's tough, but that's the right place to start from.

Secondly, hit the gym !
You got to understand she has lost that sexual attraction for you, and no amount of laundry, vacations and talking you do, will reignite that.
You can't not negotiate sexual desire by doing those, that's a bullshit guide.
As I said earlier on, hit the f*cking gym in your area, and start enjoying the beauty and power of such a lifestyle.
Let her see you're willing to work and improve yourself, it sends strong message to her you're got your mojo.
Apart from giving you that killer body, it's going to boost your T-level and boost your mood on the general.
If you don't have a gym in your area, start basic workouts like jogging, push up, and other exercises to get your body back in shape.
She's going to notice, and the effect will shock you.
Are you willing to do the work ?
Trust me, it's worth it.

As I said earlier, she have lost sexual desire for you, familiarity, predictable and probably your bedmatic skills are factors leading to these, and fortunately, you can work on them.
Please, quit that masturbation, you loss lots of lifetrons and energy whenever you fap, especially when you do it consistently.
Not a great place to be in, OK ?

All the actions you wanted to take to make a statement on her, angrily, please drop them.
You're strengthening her resolves by doing those, doing opposite of those actions will yield a better result.

It's all a game, and the game is not physical, it's psychological, and you must learn the psychology behind that damn game to beat her to her game.

You ended up giving him the same advise I have him that you seem not to agree with.