Jesslove:
If you don't have kids, what are you sticking around for? Does she add value to your life in other ways?

some50686:
Hi Everyone, i got married in 2018, We are both working class.. I am in my 34 while my wife is in her late 28. My wife has been denying me sex, we rarely have sex. sometimes we can go for over a month without sex. Whenever i ask for sex, she just complains she is tired and that is it. Sometimes i would plead and try yet she wont accept. What pains me the most is the way she react when i try to approach her. She would yell and begin to shout what nonsense is this, who is this now? To the point i only could initiate sex, sat morning and even with that she still refuses. Before we got married I sat her down and told her about this issue, that i hear about it from my married friends and dont want to experience such, she assured me and said our wont be like that but our is now worse. I am not sure we had sex more than 12 times the whole of last year.

The first time i sat her down, i asked her why she is doing all this to me, she complained i dont show her enough love, that she wants me to do more house chores, and also take her to eat outside and watch movies. I told her i will try. Although i knw am not the most romantic guy around, but i try the little ways I can, we sometimes go to see the movies. I do laundry on sat, help with ironing all the clothes she would wear during the week and cook a very few time. I ensured we got a maid so she wont be pressure by house chores. I also gave her my only car so she doesnt need to enter public transport, buy food from great eateries and even icecreams, almost every other week. But she has not changed, the last major fight we had was about 3months ago and it was about sex cause she denied me for no reason. Sex has always been the source of our quarrel. She was even telling me to go meet the maid since i am always so nice to the maid one time i tried to have sex. I really feel pained, like she is taking me for a ride because of my cool and easy going attitude. I have never raised my hand on my wife or even used abusive words. I even try to ask her how work is and gist with her to increase our bonding, yet all to no avail. I am someone who doesnt like going out to share and i believe the issue can only be fixed by the both of us, but this one is begining to drag for too long and from the look of things i am the one at the loosing end. I will go to my inlaws place and smile, nobody know how mean their daughter is to me, i too feel very ashamed raising the matter with my father inlaw. Last week i tried to initiate sex the same rejection, she is tired. I felt very frustrated and am now seriously considering cheating even though i am a Christian. Cheating is not right, cause it is expensive and emotionally draining, exposes one to STDs and it is against my Christian faith but what can i do? Sometime i have had to masturbate to suppress my sexual urge, but for how long can one continue to do this? I feel very ashamed coming to nairaland but what can i do. But dont get me wrong o, my wife has her good sides but this sex issue is really beginning to hurt and it does nt look like she would change anytime soon from the way she has been behaving.

Even if she doesnt find me attractive, should that be enough reason to continue to deny me sex after 3 months. Right now we are not speaking at the moment, cause i am mad with her. The next day after all she did, she come to greet me in the morning and acts like nothing happen. This is how she does and most time i always over look it, but the one from last week really hurt the most. I feel I have made a mistake marrying her. She also doesn't really care about my eating, most time she is only bothered about what our son and the maid will eat. I always have to go to the kitchen and look for what to eat, sometimes i get food outside. Even though i always drop food money. since we started quarrelling she has stopped cooking for me. Just very frustrated.

To the experienced married men in the house, what can i do the address this issue. I am considering collecting my car, not that it would be of any use to me , just to frustrate her

some50686:
Hi Everyone, i got married in 2018, We are both working class.. I am in my 34 while my wife is in her late 28. My wife has been denying me sex, we rarely have sex. sometimes we can go for over a month without sex. Whenever i ask for sex, she just complains she is tired and that is it. Sometimes i would plead and try yet she wont accept. What pains me the most is the way she react when i try to approach her. She would yell and begin to shout what nonsense is this, who is this now? To the point i only could initiate sex, sat morning and even with that she still refuses. Before we got married I sat her down and told her about this issue, that i hear about it from my married friends and dont want to experience such, she assured me and said our wont be like that but our is now worse. I am not sure we had sex more than 12 times the whole of last year.

The first time i sat her down, i asked her why she is doing all this to me, she complained i dont show her enough love, that she wants me to do more house chores, and also take her to eat outside and watch movies. I told her i will try. Although i knw am not the most romantic guy around, but i try the little ways I can, we sometimes go to see the movies. I do laundry on sat, help with ironing all the clothes she would wear during the week and cook a very few time. I ensured we got a maid so she wont be pressure by house chores. I also gave her my only car so she doesnt need to enter public transport, buy food from great eateries and even icecreams, almost every other week. But she has not changed, the last major fight we had was about 3months ago and it was about sex cause she denied me for no reason. Sex has always been the source of our quarrel. She was even telling me to go meet the maid since i am always so nice to the maid one time i tried to have sex. I really feel pained, like she is taking me for a ride because of my cool and easy going attitude. I have never raised my hand on my wife or even used abusive words. I even try to ask her how work is and gist with her to increase our bonding, yet all to no avail. I am someone who doesnt like going out to share and i believe the issue can only be fixed by the both of us, but this one is begining to drag for too long and from the look of things i am the one at the loosing end. I will go to my inlaws place and smile, nobody know how mean their daughter is to me, i too feel very ashamed raising the matter with my father inlaw. Last week i tried to initiate sex the same rejection, she is tired. I felt very frustrated and am now seriously considering cheating even though i am a Christian. Cheating is not right, cause it is expensive and emotionally draining, exposes one to STDs and it is against my Christian faith but what can i do? Sometime i have had to masturbate to suppress my sexual urge, but for how long can one continue to do this? I feel very ashamed coming to nairaland but what can i do. But dont get me wrong o, my wife has her good sides but this sex issue is really beginning to hurt and it does nt look like she would change anytime soon from the way she has been behaving.

Even if she doesnt find me attractive, should that be enough reason to continue to deny me sex after 3 months. Right now we are not speaking at the moment, cause i am mad with her. The next day after all she did, she come to greet me in the morning and acts like nothing happen. This is how she does and most time i always over look it, but the one from last week really hurt the most. I feel I have made a mistake marrying her. She also doesn't really care about my eating, most time she is only bothered about what our son and the maid will eat. I always have to go to the kitchen and look for what to eat, sometimes i get food outside. Even though i always drop food money. since we started quarrelling she has stopped cooking for me. Just very frustrated.

To the experienced married men in the house, what can i do the address this issue. I am considering collecting my car, not that it would be of any use to me , just to frustrate her

deny how?.....is she lightskin?.. NO..... bro cant u juss slap her face??(no oofeinse)

baralatie:

even the practical synopsis is that the wife is using sex as a tool of negotiation not that she is asexual .
it is when he buys into it and ends up not even responding to the wife for a year that she will eventually hit the infidelity train.
so inorder to stop that train he has a choice to throw this attitude right into the open .so she will now make a clear distinct choice of either the marriage work or the marriage end

baralatie:

you still no get people will blame the husband for taking that car from the irrespective of whatever reason he brings.it will be proving to him in favour of the wife as an act of maltreatment.
thereby kissing out

baralatie:

that is because you are not thinking outside the box.
the wife already factored this.why would her husband come and report this kind of issue........impossible
but when she knows the husband mouth sharp like razor and cut like butcher knife....
knowing that the husband narration of events can cause her to make a life changing decision...
she knows that it is either she saves her face or her marriage or the marriage scatter

some50686:
Hi Everyone, i got married in 2018, We are both working class.. I am in my 34 while my wife is in her late 28. My wife has been denying me sex, we rarely have sex. sometimes we can go for over a month without sex. Whenever i ask for sex, she just complains she is tired and that is it. Sometimes i would plead and try yet she wont accept. What pains me the most is the way she react when i try to approach her. She would yell and begin to shout what nonsense is this, who is this now? To the point i only could initiate sex, sat morning and even with that she still refuses. Before we got married I sat her down and told her about this issue, that i hear about it from my married friends and dont want to experience such, she assured me and said our wont be like that but our is now worse. I am not sure we had sex more than 12 times the whole of last year.

The first time i sat her down, i asked her why she is doing all this to me, she complained i dont show her enough love, that she wants me to do more house chores, and also take her to eat outside and watch movies. I told her i will try. Although i knw am not the most romantic guy around, but i try the little ways I can, we sometimes go to see the movies. I do laundry on sat, help with ironing all the clothes she would wear during the week and cook a very few time. I ensured we got a maid so she wont be pressure by house chores. I also gave her my only car so she doesnt need to enter public transport, buy food from great eateries and even icecreams, almost every other week. But she has not changed, the last major fight we had was about 3months ago and it was about sex cause she denied me for no reason. Sex has always been the source of our quarrel. She was even telling me to go meet the maid since i am always so nice to the maid one time i tried to have sex. I really feel pained, like she is taking me for a ride because of my cool and easy going attitude. I have never raised my hand on my wife or even used abusive words. I even try to ask her how work is and gist with her to increase our bonding, yet all to no avail. I am someone who doesnt like going out to share and i believe the issue can only be fixed by the both of us, but this one is begining to drag for too long and from the look of things i am the one at the loosing end. I will go to my inlaws place and smile, nobody know how mean their daughter is to me, i too feel very ashamed raising the matter with my father inlaw. Last week i tried to initiate sex the same rejection, she is tired. I felt very frustrated and am now seriously considering cheating even though i am a Christian. Cheating is not right, cause it is expensive and emotionally draining, exposes one to STDs and it is against my Christian faith but what can i do? Sometime i have had to masturbate to suppress my sexual urge, but for how long can one continue to do this? I feel very ashamed coming to nairaland but what can i do. But dont get me wrong o, my wife has her good sides but this sex issue is really beginning to hurt and it does nt look like she would change anytime soon from the way she has been behaving.

Even if she doesnt find me attractive, should that be enough reason to continue to deny me sex after 3 months. Right now we are not speaking at the moment, cause i am mad with her. The next day after all she did, she come to greet me in the morning and acts like nothing happen. This is how she does and most time i always over look it, but the one from last week really hurt the most. I feel I have made a mistake marrying her. She also doesn't really care about my eating, most time she is only bothered about what our son and the maid will eat. I always have to go to the kitchen and look for what to eat, sometimes i get food outside. Even though i always drop food money. since we started quarrelling she has stopped cooking for me. Just very frustrated.

To the experienced married men in the house, what can i do the address this issue. I am considering collecting my car, not that it would be of any use to me , just to frustrate her

moneyshop:
From people's experiences, most marriages do pass through this stage. After first child, there's always this rejection by the woman in MANY marriages.

I don't want you to see this little challenge as if you're passing through hell... No!

It's a phase that will soon pass. Whatever you do or plan doing, don't cheat on her. That will cause the main problem that you think you have now, and then it'll rain brim stones and fire. Be patient.

Don't follow the advice of any unmarried little kid that will come here to shout "SIMP," overlook them, they'll understand when it gets to their turn.

Keep treating your wife well, don't take the car away from her, don't punish her in any way, so long as it's only sex that is the issue, it'll soon pass.

Try and control your sexual urge, whatever you do at this trying time, will decide how peaceful your home will be. Be cool and handle everything in a matured way, she'll change by herself.

Hear me again bro, this too shall pass. It only needs patience.

dermmy:
Report her to her parents and this is the time to excercise self control please don't commit adultery it's the devil's trap.

tobechi74:
What role do you play in her life?
If financial, withdraw from it. Tell her you need money to service Ashewo.
Come back late, tell her you are coming from a prostitute place

Flirt with girls in her presence,

Do not ask her for sex again.

If she dresses with some part of her body exposed, tell her she is too far or black etc.
You do not find her attractive again.

Intentionally,buy a packet of condom and remove one and place it where she will see it

Place a bigger bra in your bedroom.


https://tobechispeaks./2020/11/04/a-little-fragrance-of-divorce/

Mrscarter:


Coming from a woman's point if view...I think maybe U need make her fall in love with you over again. Try be more romantic n do things together like just U n her. Romantic things. Make her laugh often n make her want to be around U more. Women like men who make them laugh alot n they love being romanced. Some ppl marry n act like the romance was just a thing to get to the marraige stage but U gotta keep it up. She should be making effort too. Take her on a romantic dinner n talk things over openly n honesty. Find out her reasons for her denying you sex. Explain to her the kind of marraige you want n that U love her n want both of U to enjoy your marraige

Mrscarter:


Bad advice. Report her to her parents will just make her resent him.

dermmy:


In the end after things have gone sour between the couple the wife's parents would still blame the husband for not telling them. You know naija parents now words like this would always come from them.

"And things like this were happening in your home and you couldn't inform us, if you had informed us we would have rein in after all she's still our daughter"

I would have adviced him to inform their pastor but the pastors we have these days can't be trusted.

LagosInter:


Indirectly defending the your fellow woman for her callous acts.

A man working hard to provide and be a good father is being treated badly and all you say is he should be a comdian to make her wife laugh and be going about trying to please her.

If she has any reason to deny him sex, she should say it, and shouldn't even wait for the husband to ask.

some50686:
Hi Everyone, i got married in 2018, We are both working class.. I am in my 34 while my wife is in her late 28. My wife has been denying me sex, we rarely have sex. sometimes we can go for over a month without sex. Whenever i ask for sex, she just complains she is tired and that is it. Sometimes i would plead and try yet she wont accept. What pains me the most is the way she react when i try to approach her. She would yell and begin to shout what nonsense is this, who is this now? To the point i only could initiate sex, sat morning and even with that she still refuses. Before we got married I sat her down and told her about this issue, that i hear about it from my married friends and dont want to experience such, she assured me and said our wont be like that but our is now worse. I am not sure we had sex more than 12 times the whole of last year.

The first time i sat her down, i asked her why she is doing all this to me, she complained i dont show her enough love, that she wants me to do more house chores, and also take her to eat outside and watch movies. I told her i will try. Although i knw am not the most romantic guy around, but i try the little ways I can, we sometimes go to see the movies. I do laundry on sat, help with ironing all the clothes she would wear during the week and cook a very few time. I ensured we got a maid so she wont be pressure by house chores. I also gave her my only car so she doesnt need to enter public transport, buy food from great eateries and even icecreams, almost every other week. But she has not changed, the last major fight we had was about 3months ago and it was about sex cause she denied me for no reason. Sex has always been the source of our quarrel. She was even telling me to go meet the maid since i am always so nice to the maid one time i tried to have sex. I really feel pained, like she is taking me for a ride because of my cool and easy going attitude. I have never raised my hand on my wife or even used abusive words. I even try to ask her how work is and gist with her to increase our bonding, yet all to no avail. I am someone who doesnt like going out to share and i believe the issue can only be fixed by the both of us, but this one is begining to drag for too long and from the look of things i am the one at the loosing end. I will go to my inlaws place and smile, nobody know how mean their daughter is to me, i too feel very ashamed raising the matter with my father inlaw. Last week i tried to initiate sex the same rejection, she is tired. I felt very frustrated and am now seriously considering cheating even though i am a Christian. Cheating is not right, cause it is expensive and emotionally draining, exposes one to STDs and it is against my Christian faith but what can i do? Sometime i have had to masturbate to suppress my sexual urge, but for how long can one continue to do this? I feel very ashamed coming to nairaland but what can i do. But dont get me wrong o, my wife has her good sides but this sex issue is really beginning to hurt and it does nt look like she would change anytime soon from the way she has been behaving.

Even if she doesnt find me attractive, should that be enough reason to continue to deny me sex after 3 months. Right now we are not speaking at the moment, cause i am mad with her. The next day after all she did, she come to greet me in the morning and acts like nothing happen. This is how she does and most time i always over look it, but the one from last week really hurt the most. I feel I have made a mistake marrying her. She also doesn't really care about my eating, most time she is only bothered about what our son and the maid will eat. I always have to go to the kitchen and look for what to eat, sometimes i get food outside. Even though i always drop food money. since we started quarrelling she has stopped cooking for me. Just very frustrated.

To the experienced married men in the house, what can i do the address this issue. I am considering collecting my car, not that it would be of any use to me , just to frustrate her

BuddhaPalm:


Why not legit get a babe instead, for real.

Let prying you away from the girl be her problem.

aoshi:
This is strange. I guess this attitude was present when you were both dating as you indicated you had a discussion with her on this matter. How did she get pregnant if you had sex less than 12 times in a year? If she wasn't like this before marriage. It could be stress or she's getting it elsewhere.
I would suggest you inform both family so when you go out for sexual satisfaction nobody would blame you solely.

moneyshop:
From people's experiences, most marriages do pass through this stage. After first child, there's always this rejection by the woman in MANY marriages.

I don't want you to see this little challenge as if you're passing through hell... No!

It's a phase that will soon pass. Whatever you do or plan doing, don't cheat on her. That will cause the main problem that you think you have now, and then it'll rain brim stones and fire. Be patient.

Don't follow the advice of any unmarried little kid that will come here to shout "SIMP," overlook them, they'll understand when it gets to their turn.

Keep treating your wife well, don't take the car away from her, don't punish her in any way, so long as it's only sex that is the issue, it'll soon pass.

Try and control your sexual urge, whatever you do at this trying time, will decide how peaceful your home will be. Be cool and handle everything in a matured way, she'll change by herself.

Hear me again bro, this too shall pass. It only needs patience.

some50686:
Hi Everyone, i got married in 2018, We are both working class.. I am in my 34 while my wife is in her late 28. My wife has been denying me sex, we rarely have sex. sometimes we can go for over a month without sex. Whenever i ask for sex, she just complains she is tired and that is it. Sometimes i would plead and try yet she wont accept. What pains me the most is the way she react when i try to approach her. She would yell and begin to shout what nonsense is this, who is this now? To the point i only could initiate sex, sat morning and even with that she still refuses. Before we got married I sat her down and told her about this issue, that i hear about it from my married friends and dont want to experience such, she assured me and said our wont be like that but our is now worse. I am not sure we had sex more than 12 times the whole of last year.

The first time i sat her down, i asked her why she is doing all this to me, she complained i dont show her enough love, that she wants me to do more house chores, and also take her to eat outside and watch movies. I told her i will try. Although i knw am not the most romantic guy around, but i try the little ways I can, we sometimes go to see the movies. I do laundry on sat, help with ironing all the clothes she would wear during the week and cook a very few time. I ensured we got a maid so she wont be pressure by house chores. I also gave her my only car so she doesnt need to enter public transport, buy food from great eateries and even icecreams, almost every other week. But she has not changed, the last major fight we had was about 3months ago and it was about sex cause she denied me for no reason. Sex has always been the source of our quarrel. She was even telling me to go meet the maid since i am always so nice to the maid one time i tried to have sex. I really feel pained, like she is taking me for a ride because of my cool and easy going attitude. I have never raised my hand on my wife or even used abusive words. I even try to ask her how work is and gist with her to increase our bonding, yet all to no avail. I am someone who doesnt like going out to share and i believe the issue can only be fixed by the both of us, but this one is begining to drag for too long and from the look of things i am the one at the loosing end. I will go to my inlaws place and smile, nobody know how mean their daughter is to me, i too feel very ashamed raising the matter with my father inlaw. Last week i tried to initiate sex the same rejection, she is tired. I felt very frustrated and am now seriously considering cheating even though i am a Christian. Cheating is not right, cause it is expensive and emotionally draining, exposes one to STDs and it is against my Christian faith but what can i do? Sometime i have had to masturbate to suppress my sexual urge, but for how long can one continue to do this? I feel very ashamed coming to nairaland but what can i do. But dont get me wrong o, my wife has her good sides but this sex issue is really beginning to hurt and it does nt look like she would change anytime soon from the way she has been behaving.

Even if she doesnt find me attractive, should that be enough reason to continue to deny me sex after 3 months. Right now we are not speaking at the moment, cause i am mad with her. The next day after all she did, she come to greet me in the morning and acts like nothing happen. This is how she does and most time i always over look it, but the one from last week really hurt the most. I feel I have made a mistake marrying her. She also doesn't really care about my eating, most time she is only bothered about what our son and the maid will eat. I always have to go to the kitchen and look for what to eat, sometimes i get food outside. Even though i always drop food money. since we started quarrelling she has stopped cooking for me. Just very frustrated.

To the experienced married men in the house, what can i do the address this issue. I am considering collecting my car, not that it would be of any use to me , just to frustrate her

some50686:
Hi Everyone, i got married in 2018, We are both working class.. I am in my 34 while my wife is in her late 28. My wife has been denying me sex, we rarely have sex. sometimes we can go for over a month without sex.

some50686:
Whenever i ask for sex, she just complains she is tired and that is it. Sometimes i would plead and try yet she wont accept. What pains me the most is the way she react when i try to approach her. She would yell and begin to shout what nonsense is this, who is this now? To the point i only could initiate sex, sat morning and even with that she still refuses. Before we got married I sat her down and told her about this issue, that i hear about it from my married friends and dont want to experience such, she assured me and said our wont be like that but our is now worse. I am not sure we had sex more than 12 times the whole of last year.

some50686:
The first time i sat her down, i asked her why she is doing all this to me, she complained i dont show her enough love, that she wants me to do more house chores, and also take her to eat outside and watch movies. I told her i will try. Although i knw am not the most romantic guy around, but i try the little ways I can, we sometimes go to see the movies. I do laundry on sat, help with ironing all the clothes she would wear during the week and cook a very few time. I ensured we got a maid so she wont be pressure by house chores. I also gave her my only car so she doesnt need to enter public transport, buy food from great eateries and even icecreams, almost every other week. But she has not changed, the last major fight we had was about 3months ago and it was about sex cause she denied me for no reason. Sex has always been the source of our quarrel. She was even telling me to go meet the maid since i am always so nice to the maid one time i tried to have sex. I really feel pained, like she is taking me for a ride because of my cool and easy going attitude. I have never raised my hand on my wife or even used abusive words. I even try to ask her how work is and gist with her to increase our bonding, yet all to no avail. I am someone who doesnt like going out to share and i believe the issue can only be fixed by the both of us, but this one is begining to drag for too long and from the look of things i am the one at the loosing end. I will go to my inlaws place and smile, nobody know how mean their daughter is to me, i too feel very ashamed raising the matter with my father inlaw.

some50686:
Last week i tried to initiate sex the same rejection, she is tired. I felt very frustrated and am now seriously considering cheating even though i am a Christian. Cheating is not right, cause it is expensive and emotionally draining, exposes one to STDs and it is against my Christian faith but what can i do? Sometime i have had to masturbate to suppress my sexual urge, but for how long can one continue to do this? I feel very ashamed coming to nairaland but what can i do. But dont get me wrong o, my wife has her good sides but this sex issue is really beginning to hurt and it does nt look like she would change anytime soon from the way she has been behaving.

some50686:
Even if she doesnt find me attractive, should that be enough reason to continue to deny me sex after 3 months. Right now we are not speaking at the moment, cause i am mad with her. The next day after all she did, she come to greet me in the morning and acts like nothing happen. This is how she does and most time i always over look it, but the one from last week really hurt the most. I feel I have made a mistake marrying her. She also doesn't really care about my eating, most time she is only bothered about what our son and the maid will eat. I always have to go to the kitchen and look for what to eat, sometimes i get food outside. Even though i always drop food money. since we started quarrelling she has stopped cooking for me. Just very frustrated.

some50686:
To the experienced married men in the house, what can i do the address this issue. I am considering collecting my car, not that it would be of any use to me , just to frustrate her

some50686:
Hi Everyone, i got married in 2018, We are both working class.. I am in my 34 while my wife is in her late 28. My wife has been denying me sex, we rarely have sex. sometimes we can go for over a month without sex. Whenever i ask for sex, she just complains she is tired and that is it. Sometimes i would plead and try yet she wont accept. What pains me the most is the way she react when i try to approach her. She would yell and begin to shout what nonsense is this, who is this now? To the point i only could initiate sex, sat morning and even with that she still refuses. Before we got married I sat her down and told her about this issue, that i hear about it from my married friends and dont want to experience such, she assured me and said our wont be like that but our is now worse. I am not sure we had sex more than 12 times the whole of last year.

The first time i sat her down, i asked her why she is doing all this to me, she complained i dont show her enough love, that she wants me to do more house chores, and also take her to eat outside and watch movies. I told her i will try. Although i knw am not the most romantic guy around, but i try the little ways I can, we sometimes go to see the movies. I do laundry on sat, help with ironing all the clothes she would wear during the week and cook a very few time. I ensured we got a maid so she wont be pressure by house chores. I also gave her my only car so she doesnt need to enter public transport, buy food from great eateries and even icecreams, almost every other week. But she has not changed, the last major fight we had was about 3months ago and it was about sex cause she denied me for no reason. Sex has always been the source of our quarrel. She was even telling me to go meet the maid since i am always so nice to the maid one time i tried to have sex. I really feel pained, like she is taking me for a ride because of my cool and easy going attitude. I have never raised my hand on my wife or even used abusive words. I even try to ask her how work is and gist with her to increase our bonding, yet all to no avail. I am someone who doesnt like going out to share and i believe the issue can only be fixed by the both of us, but this one is begining to drag for too long and from the look of things i am the one at the loosing end. I will go to my inlaws place and smile, nobody know how mean their daughter is to me, i too feel very ashamed raising the matter with my father inlaw. Last week i tried to initiate sex the same rejection, she is tired. I felt very frustrated and am now seriously considering cheating even though i am a Christian. Cheating is not right, cause it is expensive and emotionally draining, exposes one to STDs and it is against my Christian faith but what can i do? Sometime i have had to masturbate to suppress my sexual urge, but for how long can one continue to do this? I feel very ashamed coming to nairaland but what can i do. But dont get me wrong o, my wife has her good sides but this sex issue is really beginning to hurt and it does nt look like she would change anytime soon from the way she has been behaving.

Even if she doesnt find me attractive, should that be enough reason to continue to deny me sex after 3 months. Right now we are not speaking at the moment, cause i am mad with her. The next day after all she did, she come to greet me in the morning and acts like nothing happen. This is how she does and most time i always over look it, but the one from last week really hurt the most. I feel I have made a mistake marrying her. She also doesn't really care about my eating, most time she is only bothered about what our son and the maid will eat. I always have to go to the kitchen and look for what to eat, sometimes i get food outside. Even though i always drop food money. since we started quarrelling she has stopped cooking for me. Just very frustrated.

To the experienced married men in the house, what can i do the address this issue. I am considering collecting my car, not that it would be of any use to me , just to frustrate her

moneyshop:
From people's experiences, most marriages do pass through this stage. After first child, there's always this rejection by the woman in MANY marriages.

I don't want you to see this little challenge as if you're passing through hell... No!

It's a phase that will soon pass. Whatever you do or plan doing, don't cheat on her. That will cause the main problem that you think you have now, and then it'll rain brim stones and fire. Be patient.

Don't follow the advice of any unmarried little kid that will come here to shout "SIMP," overlook them, they'll understand when it gets to their turn.

Keep treating your wife well, don't take the car away from her, don't punish her in any way, so long as it's only sex that is the issue, it'll soon pass.

Try and control your sexual urge, whatever you do at this trying time, will decide how peaceful your home will be. Be cool and handle everything in a matured way, she'll change by herself.

Hear me again bro, this too shall pass. It only needs patience.

moneyshop:
From people's experiences, most marriages do pass through this stage. After first child, there's always this rejection by the woman in MANY marriages.

I don't want you to see this little challenge as if you're passing through hell... No!

It's a phase that will soon pass. Whatever you do or plan doing, don't cheat on her. That will cause the main problem that you think you have now, and then it'll rain brim stones and fire. Be patient.

Don't follow the advice of any unmarried little kid that will come here to shout "SIMP," overlook them, they'll understand when it gets to their turn.

Keep treating your wife well, don't take the car away from her, don't punish her in any way, so long as it's only sex that is the issue, it'll soon pass.

Try and control your sexual urge, whatever you do at this trying time, will decide how peaceful your home will be. Be cool and handle everything in a matured way, she'll change by herself.

Hear me again bro, this too shall pass. It only needs patience.

CaveAdullam:


A little gist:

1. The brain region for sex in women is 2-3 times smaller than in men.

2. Because of a high amount of testosterone in men, which is about 10-100 times higher than in women, men think about sex round the clock while women; average of 14 times in their menstrual cycle.

3. Because of the menstrual cycle of women, the first 14 days is their happy mood and the last 14 days is a dangerous one for them, and others around them.

4. If women see a dominant male after marriage, they detour their focus towards him, and fantasize about him. And if care is not taken, they might end up corralling his sperms.

5. If women are psychologically, emotionally and physically stress, their reception towards sex is poor and very low. So, not until a woman becomes comfortable around her man, free from every workloads, sex will definitely be a problem for her. And this is very common among career women.

Did you met your wife a virgin?

If yes, then,

1. You're are not good when it comes to the game of sex. She wants you to fulfill her fantasies, and it seems you're unable. So, up your game.

2. When a woman becomes a mother, her attention shifts from her husband towards her kids. Understand this, and still up your game.

If no,

1. How was sex before marriage?
Way below, you said you are a Christian, and to put it clearly, it is possible you didn't engage in sexual intercourse before marriage.

The implication here is: higher body counts or sexual partners before marriage, the lower the bonding between her and her husband. Simple!

2. Premium tears scenario: a male that knows the game is tingling her, and has now become her focus and fantasy.

If she was not a virgin before marriage, just know you're dealing with an alpha widow, you don't have the key and will never have the key that opens her legs and takes you to her heart. She didn't choose you, you choose her. You're not the man she wants to submit to. She doesn't see you as a dominant man, and therefore it will be difficult for you to win her. She use you to seal the deal: beta bucks at age 26 after enjoying herself during the party phase.

But there's a way out: Dread game.

Dominant men don't negotiate anything with their spouse. They set the pace, and she follows. You failed because you lack the foresight to see that GENUINE DESIRE CAN NEVER BE NEGOTIATED. Your frame is weak. Your boundary is loose. You are easily manipulated, and women are disgusted by such kinds of men.

Your plead for sex is disgusting. You made sex become your second god, and she is really using it as a weapon of control over you. You place her on a very high pedestal which you ought to have occupied, and now, she dangles her vagina before you, and if eventually, she finally allow you have your way, you see it as a prize, and her; elevation of power.

Why do you allow yourself to peter to this level? You're weak my friend, and women hate weak men. She sets terms and conditions for you because you're weak. No frame, no dominance.

You better start informing your in-laws that their daughter is coming back home----dread game number 1.

Shut up, your wife doesn't have any good side. The number one thing good women give their husbands as a form of submission is good sex. She is evil if she restrains her conjugal rights. Your wife loathes you man. No atom of respect. BS!

Yeah, infidelity is wrong as it exposes you and your households to predators. Infidelity will make you lose focus on your kids, your paramount goals, your money, time, emotional conflicts etc. I'm no advocate of infidelity.

STDs are out of it. With good contraceptives, and willingness on your side to abide by it, STDs will be far away.

O yeah, you're a Christian man, I pray the dread game works for you. If not you're on a long thing.

Seriously? Are you a man?




2. Start coming home late. If you close from work early, don't come home straight, look for a cool vicinity not far from your residence, and take some relaxation. With this, you've put her on suspense.

3. Take a leave from home on Fridays and come back home Sunday evenings. You can take your child during some of the days.

4. Send your maid back home, and inform your wife that it is her duty to perform the chores at home; washing, cleaning and cooking. If she refuse, tell her to start preparing for divorce.

5. If she refuse to cook, stop giving her money. Cook for yourself and your child. After all no food for lazy woman.

6. Buy new clothes, and start dressing neatly.

7. Begin to flirt with other women when you're in proximity to her. You can fake it if it seems hypocritical towards your Christian faith by feigning phone calls.

8. Stop sharing same bedroom with her. You doing so will make her feel and know that you don't care how much she hoards sex.

9. Make your communications with her become abrupt. State your points without any form of explanation.

10. Don't take her out. Don't buy her gifts. Don't form uncle romancer. Not until she develops a genuine desire for you, all rewards must be on hold.

11. Start preparing her mind for divorce, and if you do so, it will send a negative signal to her brains that you're ready for business.

12. Don't apologize ever again. Don't negotiate ever again. If she does not absorb to your frame, it's hight time you let her go.

13. Set the terms and conditions of the house, and you tell her she's free to leave if she cannot comply.

If you do all these properly it will work, but if not, I think you should prepare your mind for a second wife(Women are the same though, except you're a masculine man will they submit to you) or opt for a divorce from marriage as a whole. Your happiness and peace of mind should come first. Make sure you do all things possible to raise your child under the right environment.

Martinez39s and Evolutionlove, I have done my part, and I know this young man is 2 steps away from the redpill. He that has an ear let him hear.

Thanks.

God bless.

luminouz:


Lol...you are one funny dude....you keep making a case for him speaking out,on sex issues when he could easily handle the wife in his own home.
Which mumu sharp mouth does he need to have biko? He needs sharp action,not razor mouth. Women are known for mouth talks. A man takes action. Why on earth does a grown up man go to his in-laws and be reporting his wife sex inadequacy? Haba, does it even sound good to you? I already outlined how he could deal with the woman. But then,you still no gree. You dont want him to take the car or behave somehow so that people won't think he is maltreating her....

Oga,if thats how you wanna handle your own marriage, you go suffer small o. Cuz you will turn to a reporter at ya in-laws place. She screams at you,you go report, she doesn't prepare your food, report, everything? Report!!! Does that sound manly to you?....
.
I don taya to dey advice you biko. You dont know women.DONT worry though, you will learn.