₦airaland Forum

mibrims:
@ur age ur still doing teenage relationship
Continue, I know love can make one look foolish
At times but dear sister love with ur head not ur heart.. U nid a serious man not a confused play boi
PEACE

Gayatri:
But since he is confused and they are not engaging any time soon, is it possible for me to make him see that she might not be real and she is the one who is to get him focused and if he cant be content with her then he is making the wrong choice of being with her.. Is it possible Sir??.. Jusy ...

mibrims:
@ur age ur still doing teenage relationship
Continue, I know love can make one look foolish
At times but dear sister love with ur head not ur heart.. U nid a serious man not a confused play boi
PEACE

Theboy21:
The writing is on the wall girl, he might be telling her some nice things and some negative bout you just to make her feel good too, hope you will be strong to watch them get engaged and married, cos no real nigga will choose a cheating girlfriend over a sweet, nice and cool girl (as claimed) and you trying to make him see her in a dark light will make you look miserable and desperate cos he knows all that already...you are trying to involve yourself in a competition and i know how you girls hate loosing, follow your mind, you might get you prince Charming still...

mibrims:
That guy has pressed ur mumu button and it’s
Paining me, Now listen to me young woman
No matter how long you have travelled once
U discover that you’re headed in the wrong direction, the right thing is disembark and join a bus that is heading towards ur destination
Or do u want to continue a journey to a wrong destination cos of how much u spent or because of how long u have gone? Aunty pls use ur head na
Pls pull out now before u invest more time and emotions then u will still come here and rant how he wasted ur time.. sorry to say you’re not emotionally intelligent. @age 27 u should know what you want and set ur standards.. SMH

Poorboy:
My only question is

Are you beautiful?

Because what you're doing is what ugly girls do.

Gayatri:
I do not need to say but my photo will...

Gayatri:
I do not know how to start this but i will write as it comes... I was in a 2 year relationship that ended in march this year.. I was so commited in it like naturally when im dating, i DO NOT notice other guys and i DO NOT ask my boyfriend for financial assistance because i feel im not his responsibility,, what i do appreciate mostly were little things like, chatting, kindness, hugs, opening and closing of doors for me,, just little things, coz i adore them so much.. But anyway it ended.. And i vowed never to date again come what may.. During the break up process, all my friends (guys, hardly have a girlfriend) were there to help me pull through.. Calls and texts constantly because, according to them, they knew my type, thus the help.. Funny enough, i never got attracted to any of them (even the ones that initially asked me out when my friendship with them was fresh) and im not the sex sex type to just fall for any to satisfy my desire.. Though i got advice from neighbours to find someone else than staying alone, i said no especially as i am a loner but a happy loner.. I keep myself busy with work or any stuff that makes me happy.

Fine, two months later (june), some guy reached out to me even as he knew he's got a girlfriend, whixh according to him later, they were in an open relationship.. He stays in oshogbo, his girl stays in kaduna while im in sagamu..Before then, he reached out online by first stalking me on facebook (even though we did same online business), after a while he got talking with me.. At first, i was harsh, very harsh to him but he never minded.. At a point i stopped talking to him.. A month later he reached out again, asking if we were still friends.. I was like yeah, not nice to him at all but he was patient with me..

From mid-july we started talking well as friends, he was very open as i was to him. We flowed well that things were happening to us coincidentally.. Whenever he yawns, i do at my place, if im having a scratch, he does too.. There was just plenty of this connection that we never got tired of each other.. In the procesa of our been honest, he told me about his girl and how she was still keeping her ex and all whatnots... I didnt feel any iota of jealousy because i had not feelings for him yet.. I asked to talk things through with his girl and he says well if she gave the chance.. So laters, by august, september,october, feelings grew.. He got so fond of me... According to him, he has not seen my type before.. Fine! During my birthday, he wanted to do something for me, i said no, then two weeks to his birthday in nov, he asked that i visit him at their family house, that i did..

What struck me most was how the elder brother (married) took care of me... I was not allowed to do nothing.. The brother even cooked for me.. God, it made me fall more for the family.. The kind gestures i have never experienced in my life.. There are kindnesses but there is kindness, the real one.. I felt it.. Every thing that i want in a man, those little things, this guy has them all.. According to him, it baffles him that with the little he shows me, i do not take for granted even before he told me he's having a girl..

When i returned home, we continued our normal talks and he then said, that his girlfriend would be visiting during his birthday.. At that point i went silent.. (Meanwhile he met his girl this year but before me, also during her break up).. He was unhappy that i displayed this little jealousy.. So he says he has not broken up with his girl to start a new relationship and he is hurting that he is hurting me.. He's got feelings for me but he loves his girl.. So i said i was going walk, even though i never meant it, twas hard to even say that but i had to and he says no... That he's become so attached to me even his family thinks he's dating me.. That he controls his feelings for me, could i do same and i said no.. I could not be friends with him when i know that feelings are involved.. Finally, we came to terms to just flow with things since he was not engaged or married to her.. Even so, this guy just lost his job and he says unlike his girl, im the one pushing him to have something doing, he says i help him alot but i wouldnt know.. So we continued to let the whole feelings to flow until last week, when with my help, he was called for an interview in lagos..

As usual we talked and i wished him well.. I always pray for him.. In lagos, we talked well until the third day, our communication changed and before it did, my heart was literally aching, so i knew something was wrong.. I called to know why but he was telling me that he'd let me in when he got back to oshogbo, which he did.. He said his girlfriend who was having something to do with her ex, called him and wanted to settle things with him.. But the truth is, because this lady already had his facebook password when they were together in kadauna, she 3 days before her birthday on the 8th of this month wanted to know why her boyfriend was no longer perturbed over her behaviour, so she saw my chats with the guy and decided to do something,,, this now pushed to talk things out with the bf and apologise to him.. Then she asked him if anything was going on between is and he said no.. That we just friends,close friends.. He lied to her but opens up to me.. He says he doesnt want the girl to ask him to cut me off totally.. So the whole thing got him confused.. He says he's never double dated and he isnt happy that he's hurting me and im taking it... I asked him again if i should walk and he says no.. He does not want to lose me and i do not want to lose him either but i want to prove my love for him so that he one day sees that the girl, probably loves him but she's got no integrity.. And i purely love him.. But because i respect his relationship, i CAN NOT TELL HIM TO BREAK UP WITH HER but wanting him to see things himself but the question is for how long.. He says they are working things out now but he doesnt want to lose me esp as a friend... Difficult.. Out of God knows what, we agreed to let things flow since i will respect his relationship, like whenever his girl is around, i should make him believe that i will be fine.. Now, he isnt happy because he said if he hadnt met the gf, he'd have gone ahead to date me.. For me, i cannot sleep, ive been typing this since God knows when and this is 3:36am.. Since he is confused now, please people, friends, family, can i use love to make him see the difference between his girl and me.. He loves his girl, he is controlling his feelings for me and afraid to let it grow because he knows we'd bond, while my feelings toward him is real.. Money has not been involved in this.. We are 6months now.. I believe in true love and that it does not come easy.. Talk to me Y'll because i have no parents to talk to,, i would have talked to my mum now but she isnt here... I want to win with true love.. I turned 27 this past november and he turned 30 same november.. Thank You and God bless..

Sapiosexuality:
The truth is, if someone wants to be in your life they will make deliberate efforts to be in your life. Do you really want someone who can't make decisions that are good for them?

Get the guy all you like, convince him the girl is not good for him but I promise you whatever thing that happens will always be met by the intrusion of that ex. You don't want foundational problems.

Some of the worst and kindest set of people not to date are the confused people. Dude is confused. At this point I don't think you can teach him what you intend to but because you are in love you can't see it.

And by way, you must not date everyone you love. Some times you have to realise that love is not enough. You don't want to start a relationship with cracks in the foundation.

Leave him for his own good. Let him learn. Sometimes experience is the better teacher. Your words can only touch him temporarily but experience will shape him permanently. But will you do that? Of course not. You are in love.

Gayatri:
This is difficult but i will.... Sir.... Thank You... Its hard but I will

Sapiosexuality:
Lol. You won't. He'd just say one or two words that sound sweet and your guards go down. Maybe experience will do the job.

Bellotelli:
OP pls grow some balls and do the needful. It's obvious this guy is blackmailing you emotionally. I'll advice you to just quit if he isn't ready to leave the other girl.

Gayatri:
I do not know how to start this but i will write as it comes... I was in a 2 year relationship that ended in march this year.. I was so commited in it like naturally when im dating, i DO NOT notice other guys and i DO NOT ask my boyfriend for financial assistance because i feel im not his responsibility,, what i do appreciate mostly were little things like, chatting, kindness, hugs, opening and closing of doors for me,, just little things, coz i adore them so much.. But anyway it ended.. And i vowed never to date again come what may.. During the break up process, all my friends (guys, hardly have a girlfriend) were there to help me pull through.. Calls and texts constantly because, according to them, they knew my type, thus the help.. Funny enough, i never got attracted to any of them (even the ones that initially asked me out when my friendship with them was fresh) and im not the sex sex type to just fall for any to satisfy my desire.. Though i got advice from neighbours to find someone else than staying alone, i said no especially as i am a loner but a happy loner.. I keep myself busy with work or any stuff that makes me happy.

Fine, two months later (june), some guy reached out to me even as he knew he's got a girlfriend, whixh according to him later, they were in an open relationship.. He stays in oshogbo, his girl stays in kaduna while im in sagamu..Before then, he reached out online by first stalking me on facebook (even though we did same online business), after a while he got talking with me.. At first, i was harsh, very harsh to him but he never minded.. At a point i stopped talking to him.. A month later he reached out again, asking if we were still friends.. I was like yeah, not nice to him at all but he was patient with me..

From mid-july we started talking well as friends, he was very open as i was to him. We flowed well that things were happening to us coincidentally.. Whenever he yawns, i do at my place, if im having a scratch, he does too.. There was just plenty of this connection that we never got tired of each other.. In the procesa of our been honest, he told me about his girl and how she was still keeping her ex and all whatnots... I didnt feel any iota of jealousy because i had not feelings for him yet.. I asked to talk things through with his girl and he says well if she gave the chance.. So laters, by august, september,october, feelings grew.. He got so fond of me... According to him, he has not seen my type before.. Fine! During my birthday, he wanted to do something for me, i said no, then two weeks to his birthday in nov, he asked that i visit him at their family house, that i did..

What struck me most was how the elder brother (married) took care of me... I was not allowed to do nothing.. The brother even cooked for me.. God, it made me fall more for the family.. The kind gestures i have never experienced in my life.. There are kindnesses but there is kindness, the real one.. I felt it.. Every thing that i want in a man, those little things, this guy has them all.. According to him, it baffles him that with the little he shows me, i do not take for granted even before he told me he's having a girl..

When i returned home, we continued our normal talks and he then said, that his girlfriend would be visiting during his birthday.. At that point i went silent.. (Meanwhile he met his girl this year but before me, also during her break up).. He was unhappy that i displayed this little jealousy.. So he says he has not broken up with his girl to start a new relationship and he is hurting that he is hurting me.. He's got feelings for me but he loves his girl.. So i said i was going walk, even though i never meant it, twas hard to even say that but i had to and he says no... That he's become so attached to me even his family thinks he's dating me.. That he controls his feelings for me, could i do same and i said no.. I could not be friends with him when i know that feelings are involved.. Finally, we came to terms to just flow with things since he was not engaged or married to her.. Even so, this guy just lost his job and he says unlike his girl, im the one pushing him to have something doing, he says i help him alot but i wouldnt know.. So we continued to let the whole feelings to flow until last week, when with my help, he was called for an interview in lagos..

As usual we talked and i wished him well.. I always pray for him.. In lagos, we talked well until the third day, our communication changed and before it did, my heart was literally aching, so i knew something was wrong.. I called to know why but he was telling me that he'd let me in when he got back to oshogbo, which he did.. He said his girlfriend who was having something to do with her ex, called him and wanted to settle things with him.. But the truth is, because this lady already had his facebook password when they were together in kadauna, she 3 days before her birthday on the 8th of this month wanted to know why her boyfriend was no longer perturbed over her behaviour, so she saw my chats with the guy and decided to do something,,, this now pushed to talk things out with the bf and apologise to him.. Then she asked him if anything was going on between is and he said no.. That we just friends,close friends.. He lied to her but opens up to me.. He says he doesnt want the girl to ask him to cut me off totally.. So the whole thing got him confused.. He says he's never double dated and he isnt happy that he's hurting me and im taking it... I asked him again if i should walk and he says no.. He does not want to lose me and i do not want to lose him either but i want to prove my love for him so that he one day sees that the girl, probably loves him but she's got no integrity.. And i purely love him.. But because i respect his relationship, i CAN NOT TELL HIM TO BREAK UP WITH HER but wanting him to see things himself but the question is for how long.. He says they are working things out now but he doesnt want to lose me esp as a friend... Difficult.. Out of God knows what, we agreed to let things flow since i will respect his relationship, like whenever his girl is around, i should make him believe that i will be fine.. Now, he isnt happy because he said if he hadnt met the gf, he'd have gone ahead to date me.. For me, i cannot sleep, ive been typing this since God knows when and this is 3:36am.. Since he is confused now, please people, friends, family, can i use love to make him see the difference between his girl and me.. He loves his girl, he is controlling his feelings for me and afraid to let it grow because he knows we'd bond, while my feelings toward him is real.. Money has not been involved in this.. We are 6months now.. I believe in true love and that it does not come easy.. Talk to me Y'll because i have no parents to talk to,, i would have talked to my mum now but she isnt here... I want to win with true love.. I turned 27 this past november and he turned 30 same november.. Thank You and God bless..

JustCruise:
I normally don't advice people in love but this is my Christmas gift to you: Leave him and know peace. Leaving him will help him make up his mind. Shalom!

Gayatri:
What are the red flags please??... He loves his girlfriend but he does not want to let me leave him because i help him get focused than his girl aside the feelings he has for me... Please make me understand...

Bellotelli:
From My analysis about the whole situation. He seems to like your company but he is enjoying good fvck from the other chick.

Gayatri:
I understand You, perfectly Sir.... When i told him that i'd walk, he said what did i mean by walk away.. I told him, i meant keeping him totally off from my life.. He said, not even being friends with him?- i said no because feelings are involved and he said well then he cannot let me walk away.. That he is so attached and addicted to me.. Hmm

But since he is confused and they are not engaging any time soon, is it possible for me to make him see that she might not be real and she is the one who is to get him focused and if he cant be content with her then he is making the wrong choice of being with her.. Is it possible Sir??.. Jusy asking because i fell for him not for money or his been nice or whatever but his rare kindness, honesty with me, and appreciating the very little things i do, aside the coincidental connections we have... Im sorry if im asking too much questions... I want to be sure ad make my decision and not regret it whatsoever...

Mcslize:
I just can't imagine that. The guy is a pussy homie. If my girl is still keeping in touch with her ex, I will dump her straight up. Ex for that matter. Someone that has bleeped her for that matter. Okafor law will apply. They will definitely still be bleeping. So it's good to dump such a lady who can't let go of her ex.

But some guys can take nonsense from ladies though.

osato45:
then he ought to come out for you, after knowing you for 6months, by asking you out, if you agree then he dumps the other girl.

Gayatri:
I understand You, perfectly Sir.... When i told him that i'd walk, he said what did i mean by walk away.. I told him, i meant keeping him totally off from my life.. He said, not even being friends with him?- i said no because feelings are involved and he said well then he cannot let me walk away.. That he is so attached and addicted to me.. Hmm

But since he is confused and they are not engaging any time soon, is it possible for me to make him see that she might not be real and she is the one who is to get him focused and if he cant be content with her then he is making the wrong choice of being with her.. Is it possible Sir??.. Jusy asking because i fell for him not for money or his been nice or whatever but his rare kindness, honesty with me, and appreciating the very little things i do, aside the coincidental connections we have... Im sorry if im asking too much questions... I want to be sure ad make my decision and not regret it whatsoever...

Shortyy:
I swear you're annoying me with all this bullshit story. Well, I have nothing to say to you. I'll await the day you'll come for advice on how to mend your broken heart.

Bellotelli:
See wahala wey be like bicycle o. You asked for advice and almost everyone here is giving you similar advice and you still want us to reason things your way. Wetin concern us abeg carry go.

Poorboy:
My only question is

Are you beautiful?

Because what you're doing is what ugly girls do.