Gayatri:


So Sir, are you saying that if he truly loves his girl as he claimed, he would not have had eyes for me??

my candid advice is for you to break your own heart, it's better than someone breaking it for you. What I mean is, AVOID HIM TOTALLY

Gayatri:

What are the red flags please??... He loves his girlfriend but he does not want to let me leave him because i help him get focused than his girl aside the feelings he has for me... Please make me understand...

Actually you love him and it is obvious
you see from a guy perspective, you already try to prove to him that you are connected, but the bitter truth is the heart wants what he wants
he loves his ex, and its left over to him to choose and he wont be able to do that if you still accept to be his friend

don't let him hook you down, i understand you are 27, but don't let that age put pressure on you

cut the friendship, let him miss you, let him see the difference between you and his gf... then he will decide
you are letting him to eat is cake and have it at the expense of your own time

so, be ready for whatever that will happen, give him break and tell him to choose

simple, you gat to move

that my own opinion

Gayatri:

He is not coming out now because he believes according to his discussion with the girl that the girl is over her ex and she is now serious with him... So he says they are working things out... But my existence in his life is important to him...

Girl, you are irritatingly annoying, he told you this and you see nothing wrong with this statement? For real?

Do people really get blinded by love or love struck? Cos I never believed that shiit for once

Zzor:
I'm whoever I want to be at any point in time lol. Nothing serious

. I can see you are not serious but just catching cruise

In the beginning I take it serious but later I discovered that you're just doing as you wish

You would always want to win him over by trying to please him unbeknownst to you, hoping that someday he would break up with the gf,but i can tell you this for free, overtime he would make you feel so comfortable in that position by playing you psychologically and also enjoying some benefits of you being around.
You can quote me anywhere,if their relationship crashes,that dude would date someone else instead of you.Do yourself a favour by moving on,if he loves you,he won't think it twice to gamble or confuse the whole thing.

OP, I dont know what to tell you sha but I connect so much with this your story.
I used to be like that guy you described in your tale, had a cheating girlfriend and funny thing is I knew bt wouldnt let go until an angel like you made me realise my stupidity.

Kelly (not her real name) is the only girl on planet earth I hold in high esteem who isnt my relative or mom.
After I broke up with my cheating babe, i felt peace of mind and not stressed to try and prove my care and attention for any lady. It all comes freely and with the right sense of mind and will power


just walk away dont even tell him when you do, he will get sense by force.

Thats what Kelly did to me, took almost a year b4 I earned her trust again by being decisive.

Now whenever she comes around I JUST KNOW IVE FOUND JOY and affection that does not drain energy from me or abusive in any manner, emotionally or logically

Gayatri:

Oky Sir,, i will... May Jehovah give me the strength... I will.. I will... I know I can and I will... I will face my fear..

Ok I wish I can see you and slap the stupid love off your face,

Are you sure you're 27? Cos I highly doubt it.

Lady, i want you to understand something.. This guy loves his girlfriend genuinely.. he's got no love for you. He's just attracted to you because you have certain qualities missing in his girlfriend and perhaps you do somethings his girlfriend doesnt do for him.. The earlier you let him go, cut off communication and all forms of closeness and let him focus on his relationship, the better for you. Trust me, if you eventually date him, you gonna regret it especially when he comes to know about ur dark sides!!

Gayatri:

If im leaving him, i do not want to even answer anything from him because it will not make him see my importance more. And my feelings will be growing more and more.. I can not keep him as my friend.. Im praying to harden my heart and leave him totally..
And he has already laid me last month when i visited although twas fustrating for him at first.. I do not wish to hide anything here.. And he says he regrets doing so since its kind of affecting me too and he still wants me around... That i help him grow... Im telling you this part because even after it, he isnt letting me walk.. He is not... And he keep apologising too

Frustrating how? You were a virgin?

For all while he's yet to see true love from you?...would you like to settledown with someone you love or someone who love you...see my dear, let me tell you someone, as a man, if i love you with all my heart, i will lose everything to have you!
He dont wanna lose you and he love his gf. Unimportants are less-concerned!

DukeJoe17:


In a long run the idiot might not be seeing her pussy sef and I know he will still stick to the swimming pool.

Lol

Gayatri, you are in love with a guy who is in love with someone else. This gives rise to desperation and the urge to seek validation(something you should avoid at all cost). He knows you love him, but he has fallen head over heels for that his gf, that he will forgive her even if he catches her in bed with another man(unless he snaps out of that love). It is not you who should make him realise, but his heart should do that(unfortunately the heart is engaged). Never sell yourself cheap out of desperation. P.S. I know all I have said will fall on a deaf(love infested) ears, but I am returning a favour someone did me (though at that time I saw the person as my enemy). Now I know better.

Granted, he loves you. But you can't service two master so says the holy book

Gayatri:
I do not know how to start this but i will write as it comes... I was in a 2 year relationship that ended in march this year.. I was so commited in it like naturally when im dating, i DO NOT notice other guys and i DO NOT ask my boyfriend for financial assistance because i feel im not his responsibility,, what i do appreciate mostly were little things like, chatting, kindness, hugs, opening and closing of doors for me,, just little things, coz i adore them so much.. But anyway it ended.. And i vowed never to date again come what may.. During the break up process, all my friends (guys, hardly have a girlfriend) were there to help me pull through.. Calls and texts constantly because, according to them, they knew my type, thus the help.. Funny enough, i never got attracted to any of them (even the ones that initially asked me out when my friendship with them was fresh) and im not the sex sex type to just fall for any to satisfy my desire.. Though i got advice from neighbours to find someone else than staying alone, i said no especially as i am a loner but a happy loner.. I keep myself busy with work or any stuff that makes me happy.

Fine, two months later (june), some guy reached out to me even as he knew he's got a girlfriend, whixh according to him later, they were in an open relationship.. He stays in oshogbo, his girl stays in kaduna while im in sagamu..Before then, he reached out online by first stalking me on facebook (even though we did same online business), after a while he got talking with me.. At first, i was harsh, very harsh to him but he never minded.. At a point i stopped talking to him.. A month later he reached out again, asking if we were still friends.. I was like yeah, not nice to him at all but he was patient with me..

From mid-july we started talking well as friends, he was very open as i was to him. We flowed well that things were happening to us coincidentally.. Whenever he yawns, i do at my place, if im having a scratch, he does too.. There was just plenty of this connection that we never got tired of each other.. In the procesa of our been honest, he told me about his girl and how she was still keeping her ex and all whatnots... I didnt feel any iota of jealousy because i had not feelings for him yet.. I asked to talk things through with his girl and he says well if she gave the chance.. So laters, by august, september,october, feelings grew.. He got so fond of me... According to him, he has not seen my type before.. Fine! During my birthday, he wanted to do something for me, i said no, then two weeks to his birthday in nov, he asked that i visit him at their family house, that i did..

What struck me most was how the elder brother (married) took care of me... I was not allowed to do nothing.. The brother even cooked for me.. God, it made me fall more for the family.. The kind gestures i have never experienced in my life.. There are kindnesses but there is kindness, the real one.. I felt it.. Every thing that i want in a man, those little things, this guy has them all.. According to him, it baffles him that with the little he shows me, i do not take for granted even before he told me he's having a girl..

When i returned home, we continued our normal talks and he then said, that his girlfriend would be visiting during his birthday.. At that point i went silent.. (Meanwhile he met his girl this year but before me, also during her break up).. He was unhappy that i displayed this little jealousy.. So he says he has not broken up with his girl to start a new relationship and he is hurting that he is hurting me.. He's got feelings for me but he loves his girl.. So i said i was going walk, even though i never meant it, twas hard to even say that but i had to and he says no... That he's become so attached to me even his family thinks he's dating me.. That he controls his feelings for me, could i do same and i said no.. I could not be friends with him when i know that feelings are involved.. Finally, we came to terms to just flow with things since he was not engaged or married to her.. Even so, this guy just lost his job and he says unlike his girl, im the one pushing him to have something doing, he says i help him alot but i wouldnt know.. So we continued to let the whole feelings to flow until last week, when with my help, he was called for an interview in lagos..

As usual we talked and i wished him well.. I always pray for him.. In lagos, we talked well until the third day, our communication changed and before it did, my heart was literally aching, so i knew something was wrong.. I called to know why but he was telling me that he'd let me in when he got back to oshogbo, which he did.. He said his girlfriend who was having something to do with her ex, called him and wanted to settle things with him.. But the truth is, because this lady already had his facebook password when they were together in kadauna, she 3 days before her birthday on the 8th of this month wanted to know why her boyfriend was no longer perturbed over her behaviour, so she saw my chats with the guy and decided to do something,,, this now pushed to talk things out with the bf and apologise to him.. Then she asked him if anything was going on between is and he said no.. That we just friends,close friends.. He lied to her but opens up to me.. He says he doesnt want the girl to ask him to cut me off totally.. So the whole thing got him confused.. He says he's never double dated and he isnt happy that he's hurting me and im taking it... I asked him again if i should walk and he says no.. He does not want to lose me and i do not want to lose him either but i want to prove my love for him so that he one day sees that the girl, probably loves him but she's got no integrity.. And i purely love him.. But because i respect his relationship, i CAN NOT TELL HIM TO BREAK UP WITH HER but wanting him to see things himself but the question is for how long.. He says they are working things out now but he doesnt want to lose me esp as a friend... Difficult.. Out of God knows what, we agreed to let things flow since i will respect his relationship, like whenever his girl is around, i should make him believe that i will be fine.. Now, he isnt happy because he said if he hadnt met the gf, he'd have gone ahead to date me.. For me, i cannot sleep, ive been typing this since God knows when and this is 3:36am.. Since he is confused now, please people, friends, family, can i use love to make him see the difference between his girl and me.. He loves his girl, he is controlling his feelings for me and afraid to let it grow because he knows we'd bond, while my feelings toward him is real.. Money has not been involved in this.. We are 6months now.. I believe in true love and that it does not come easy.. Talk to me Y'll because i have no parents to talk to,, i would have talked to my mum now but she isnt here... I want to win with true love.. I turned 27 this past november and he turned 30 same november.. Thank You and God bless..

He is bent on destroying your life for his selfish reason. May God help we ladies because it's very hard advising one in love so I can only wish you the best and hope it won't be too late before you choose to leave but at your age I think you should know better by now.

xtervaganza:
dump the guy and do it fast. A man knows what he wants. I was married when I met my current woman. I weighed both within a month and dumped my ex wife instantly.

Wait, what

[s][/s]

Gayatri:
I do not know how to start this but i will write as it comes... I was in a 2 year relationship that ended in march this year.. I was so commited in it like naturally when im dating, i DO NOT notice other guys and i DO NOT ask my boyfriend for financial assistance because i feel im not his responsibility,, what i do appreciate mostly were little things like, chatting, kindness, hugs, opening and closing of doors for me,, just little things, coz i adore them so much.. But anyway it ended.. And i vowed never to date again come what may.. During the break up process, all my friends (guys, hardly have a girlfriend) were there to help me pull through.. Calls and texts constantly because, according to them, they knew my type, thus the help.. Funny enough, i never got attracted to any of them (even the ones that initially asked me out when my friendship with them was fresh) and im not the sex sex type to just fall for any to satisfy my desire.. Though i got advice from neighbours to find someone else than staying alone, i said no especially as i am a loner but a happy loner.. I keep myself busy with work or any stuff that makes me happy.

Fine, two months later (june), some guy reached out to me even as he knew he's got a girlfriend, whixh according to him later, they were in an open relationship.. He stays in oshogbo, his girl stays in kaduna while im in sagamu..Before then, he reached out online by first stalking me on facebook (even though we did same online business), after a while he got talking with me.. At first, i was harsh, very harsh to him but he never minded.. At a point i stopped talking to him.. A month later he reached out again, asking if we were still friends.. I was like yeah, not nice to him at all but he was patient with me..

From mid-july we started talking well as friends, he was very open as i was to him. We flowed well that things were happening to us coincidentally.. Whenever he yawns, i do at my place, if im having a scratch, he does too.. There was just plenty of this connection that we never got tired of each other.. In the procesa of our been honest, he told me about his girl and how she was still keeping her ex and all whatnots... I didnt feel any iota of jealousy because i had not feelings for him yet.. I asked to talk things through with his girl and he says well if she gave the chance.. So laters, by august, september,october, feelings grew.. He got so fond of me... According to him, he has not seen my type before.. Fine! During my birthday, he wanted to do something for me, i said no, then two weeks to his birthday in nov, he asked that i visit him at their family house, that i did..

What struck me most was how the elder brother (married) took care of me... I was not allowed to do nothing.. The brother even cooked for me.. God, it made me fall more for the family.. The kind gestures i have never experienced in my life.. There are kindnesses but there is kindness, the real one.. I felt it.. Every thing that i want in a man, those little things, this guy has them all.. According to him, it baffles him that with the little he shows me, i do not take for granted even before he told me he's having a girl..

When i returned home, we continued our normal talks and he then said, that his girlfriend would be visiting during his birthday.. At that point i went silent.. (Meanwhile he met his girl this year but before me, also during her break up).. He was unhappy that i displayed this little jealousy.. So he says he has not broken up with his girl to start a new relationship and he is hurting that he is hurting me.. He's got feelings for me but he loves his girl.. So i said i was going walk, even though i never meant it, twas hard to even say that but i had to and he says no... That he's become so attached to me even his family thinks he's dating me.. That he controls his feelings for me, could i do same and i said no.. I could not be friends with him when i know that feelings are involved.. Finally, we came to terms to just flow with things since he was not engaged or married to her.. Even so, this guy just lost his job and he says unlike his girl, im the one pushing him to have something doing, he says i help him alot but i wouldnt know.. So we continued to let the whole feelings to flow until last week, when with my help, he was called for an interview in lagos..

As usual we talked and i wished him well.. I always pray for him.. In lagos, we talked well until the third day, our communication changed and before it did, my heart was literally aching, so i knew something was wrong.. I called to know why but he was telling me that he'd let me in when he got back to oshogbo, which he did.. He said his girlfriend who was having something to do with her ex, called him and wanted to settle things with him.. But the truth is, because this lady already had his facebook password when they were together in kadauna, she 3 days before her birthday on the 8th of this month wanted to know why her boyfriend was no longer perturbed over her behaviour, so she saw my chats with the guy and decided to do something,,, this now pushed to talk things out with the bf and apologise to him.. Then she asked him if anything was going on between is and he said no.. That we just friends,close friends.. He lied to her but opens up to me.. He says he doesnt want the girl to ask him to cut me off totally.. So the whole thing got him confused.. He says he's never double dated and he isnt happy that he's hurting me and im taking it... I asked him again if i should walk and he says no.. He does not want to lose me and i do not want to lose him either but i want to prove my love for him so that he one day sees that the girl, probably loves him but she's got no integrity.. And i purely love him.. But because i respect his relationship, i CAN NOT TELL HIM TO BREAK UP WITH HER but wanting him to see things himself but the question is for how long.. He says they are working things out now but he doesnt want to lose me esp as a friend... Difficult.. Out of God knows what, we agreed to let things flow since i will respect his relationship, like whenever his girl is around, i should make him believe that i will be fine.. Now, he isnt happy because he said if he hadnt met the gf, he'd have gone ahead to date me.. For me, i cannot sleep, ive been typing this since God knows when and this is 3:36am.. Since he is confused now, please people, friends, family, can i use love to make him see the difference between his girl and me.. He loves his girl, he is controlling his feelings for me and afraid to let it grow because he knows we'd bond, while my feelings toward him is real.. Money has not been involved in this.. We are 6months now.. I believe in true love and that it does not come easy.. Talk to me Y'll because i have no parents to talk to,, i would have talked to my mum now but she isnt here... I want to win with true love.. I turned 27 this past november and he turned 30 same november.. Thank You and God bless..

[s][/s]


Nonsense

Gayatri:
I do not know how to start this but i will write as it comes... I was in a 2 year relationship that ended in march this year.. I was so commited in it like naturally when im dating, i DO NOT notice other guys and i DO NOT ask my boyfriend for financial assistance because i feel im not his responsibility,, what i do appreciate mostly were little things like, chatting, kindness, hugs, opening and closing of doors for me,, just little things, coz i adore them so much.. But anyway it ended.. And i vowed never to date again come what may.. During the break up process, all my friends (guys, hardly have a girlfriend) were there to help me pull through.. Calls and texts constantly because, according to them, they knew my type, thus the help.. Funny enough, i never got attracted to any of them (even the ones that initially asked me out when my friendship with them was fresh) and im not the sex sex type to just fall for any to satisfy my desire.. Though i got advice from neighbours to find someone else than staying alone, i said no especially as i am a loner but a happy loner.. I keep myself busy with work or any stuff that makes me happy.

Fine, two months later (june), some guy reached out to me even as he knew he's got a girlfriend, whixh according to him later, they were in an open relationship.. He stays in oshogbo, his girl stays in kaduna while im in sagamu..Before then, he reached out online by first stalking me on facebook (even though we did same online business), after a while he got talking with me.. At first, i was harsh, very harsh to him but he never minded.. At a point i stopped talking to him.. A month later he reached out again, asking if we were still friends.. I was like yeah, not nice to him at all but he was patient with me..

From mid-july we started talking well as friends, he was very open as i was to him. We flowed well that things were happening to us coincidentally.. Whenever he yawns, i do at my place, if im having a scratch, he does too.. There was just plenty of this connection that we never got tired of each other.. In the procesa of our been honest, he told me about his girl and how she was still keeping her ex and all whatnots... I didnt feel any iota of jealousy because i had not feelings for him yet.. I asked to talk things through with his girl and he says well if she gave the chance.. So laters, by august, september,october, feelings grew.. He got so fond of me... According to him, he has not seen my type before.. Fine! During my birthday, he wanted to do something for me, i said no, then two weeks to his birthday in nov, he asked that i visit him at their family house, that i did..

What struck me most was how the elder brother (married) took care of me... I was not allowed to do nothing.. The brother even cooked for me.. God, it made me fall more for the family.. The kind gestures i have never experienced in my life.. There are kindnesses but there is kindness, the real one.. I felt it.. Every thing that i want in a man, those little things, this guy has them all.. According to him, it baffles him that with the little he shows me, i do not take for granted even before he told me he's having a girl..

When i returned home, we continued our normal talks and he then said, that his girlfriend would be visiting during his birthday.. At that point i went silent.. (Meanwhile he met his girl this year but before me, also during her break up).. He was unhappy that i displayed this little jealousy.. So he says he has not broken up with his girl to start a new relationship and he is hurting that he is hurting me.. He's got feelings for me but he loves his girl.. So i said i was going walk, even though i never meant it, twas hard to even say that but i had to and he says no... That he's become so attached to me even his family thinks he's dating me.. That he controls his feelings for me, could i do same and i said no.. I could not be friends with him when i know that feelings are involved.. Finally, we came to terms to just flow with things since he was not engaged or married to her.. Even so, this guy just lost his job and he says unlike his girl, im the one pushing him to have something doing, he says i help him alot but i wouldnt know.. So we continued to let the whole feelings to flow until last week, when with my help, he was called for an interview in lagos..

As usual we talked and i wished him well.. I always pray for him.. In lagos, we talked well until the third day, our communication changed and before it did, my heart was literally aching, so i knew something was wrong.. I called to know why but he was telling me that he'd let me in when he got back to oshogbo, which he did.. He said his girlfriend who was having something to do with her ex, called him and wanted to settle things with him.. But the truth is, because this lady already had his facebook password when they were together in kadauna, she 3 days before her birthday on the 8th of this month wanted to know why her boyfriend was no longer perturbed over her behaviour, so she saw my chats with the guy and decided to do something,,, this now pushed to talk things out with the bf and apologise to him.. Then she asked him if anything was going on between is and he said no.. That we just friends,close friends.. He lied to her but opens up to me.. He says he doesnt want the girl to ask him to cut me off totally.. So the whole thing got him confused.. He says he's never double dated and he isnt happy that he's hurting me and im taking it... I asked him again if i should walk and he says no.. He does not want to lose me and i do not want to lose him either but i want to prove my love for him so that he one day sees that the girl, probably loves him but she's got no integrity.. And i purely love him.. But because i respect his relationship, i CAN NOT TELL HIM TO BREAK UP WITH HER but wanting him to see things himself but the question is for how long.. He says they are working things out now but he doesnt want to lose me esp as a friend... Difficult.. Out of God knows what, we agreed to let things flow since i will respect his relationship, like whenever his girl is around, i should make him believe that i will be fine.. Now, he isnt happy because he said if he hadnt met the gf, he'd have gone ahead to date me.. For me, i cannot sleep, ive been typing this since God knows when and this is 3:36am.. Since he is confused now, please people, friends, family, can i use love to make him see the difference between his girl and me.. He loves his girl, he is controlling his feelings for me and afraid to let it grow because he knows we'd bond, while my feelings toward him is real.. Money has not been involved in this.. We are 6months now.. I believe in true love and that it does not come easy.. Talk to me Y'll because i have no parents to talk to,, i would have talked to my mum now but she isnt here... I want to win with true love.. I turned 27 this past november and he turned 30 same november.. Thank You and God bless..

You love him. Its pretty much that simple. You'll do anything for him and will rationalize anything to be with him, very soon you won't really kind being a side chick cause he will "soon" see a your sacrifice.
I wish you the best, but you are the only one who can free yourself. I can only show you how.

Girls get mind sha ...

I can’t even visit babe crib within this Lagos talk more of going interstate.

you're his plan b. it baffles me that you know you're an second choice yet you're okay with it. You know the best thing to do but you don't have the balls to do it. You're just looking for justification for still sticking with him despite knowing your position as PLAN B, ALTERNATIVE, OPTION 2, etc.

Gayatri:
[s]I do not know how to start this but i will write as it comes... I was in a 2 year relationship that ended in march this year.. I was so commited in it like naturally when im dating, i DO NOT notice other guys and i DO NOT ask my boyfriend for financial assistance because i feel im not his responsibility,, what i do appreciate mostly were little things like, chatting, kindness, hugs, opening and closing of doors for me,, just little things, coz i adore them so much.. But anyway it ended.. And i vowed never to date again come what may.. During the break up process, all my friends (guys, hardly have a girlfriend) were there to help me pull through.. Calls and texts constantly because, according to them, they knew my type, thus the help.. Funny enough, i never got attracted to any of them (even the ones that initially asked me out when my friendship with them was fresh) and im not the sex sex type to just fall for any to satisfy my desire.. Though i got advice from neighbours to find someone else than staying alone, i said no especially as i am a loner but a happy loner.. I keep myself busy with work or any stuff that makes me happy.Fine, two months later (june), some guy reached out to me even as he knew he's got a girlfriend, whixh according to him later, they were in an open relationship.. He stays in oshogbo, his girl stays in kaduna while im in sagamu..Before then, he reached out online by first stalking me on facebook (even though we did same online business), after a while he got talking with me.. At first, i was harsh, very harsh to him but he never minded.. At a point i stopped talking to him.. A month later he reached out again, asking if we were still friends.. I was like yeah, not nice to him at all but he was patient with me..From mid-july we started talking well as friends, he was very open as i was to him. We flowed well that things were happening to us coincidentally.. Whenever he yawns, i do at my place, if im having a scratch, he does too.. There was just plenty of this connection that we never got tired of each other.. In the procesa of our been honest, he told me about his girl and how she was still keeping her ex and all whatnots... I didnt feel any iota of jealousy because i had not feelings for him yet.. I asked to talk things through with his girl and he says well if she gave the chance.. So laters, by august, september,october, feelings grew.. He got so fond of me... According to him, he has not seen my type before.. Fine! During my birthday, he wanted to do something for me, i said no, then two weeks to his birthday in nov, he asked that i visit him at their family house, that i did.What struck me most was how the elder brother (married) took care of me... I was not allowed to do nothing.. The brother even cooked for me.. God, it made me fall more for the family.. The kind gestures i have never experienced in my life.. There are kindnesses but there is kindness, the real one.. I felt it.. Every thing that i want in a man, those little things, this guy has them all.. According to him, it baffles him that with the little he shows me, i do not take for granted even before he told me he's having a girl..When i returned home, we continued our normal talks and he then said, that his girlfriend would be visiting during his birthday.. At that point i went silent.. (Meanwhile he met his girl this year but before me, also during her break up).. He was unhappy that i displayed this little jealousy.. So he says he has not broken up with his girl to start a new relationship and he is hurting that he is hurting me.. He's got feelings for me but he loves his girl.. So i said i was going walk, even though i never meant it, twas hard to even say that but i had to and he says no... That he's become so attached to me even his family thinks he's dating me.. That he controls his feelings for me, could i do same and i said no.. I could not be friends with him when i know that feelings are involved.. Finally, we came to terms to just flow with things since he was not engaged or married to her.. Even so, this guy just lost his job and he says unlike his girl, im the one pushing him to have something doing, he says i help him alot but i wouldnt know.. So we continued to let the whole feelings to flow until last week, when with my help, he was called for an interview in lagos..As usual we talked and i wished him well.. I always pray for him.. In lagos, we talked well until the third day, our communication changed and before it did, my heart was literally aching, so i knew something was wrong.. I called to know why but he was telling me that he'd let me in when he got back to oshogbo, which he did.. He said his girlfriend who was having something to do with her ex, called him and wanted to settle things with him.. But the truth is, because this lady already had his facebook password when they were together in kadauna, she 3 days before her birthday on the 8th of this month wanted to know why her boyfriend was no longer perturbed over her behaviour, so she saw my chats with the guy and decided to do something,,, this now pushed to talk things out with the bf and apologise to him.. Then she asked him if anything was going on between is and he said no.. That we just friends,close friends.. He lied to her but opens up to me.. He says he doesnt want the girl to ask him to cut me off totally.. So the whole thing got him confused.. He says he's never double dated and he isnt happy that he's hurting me and im taking it... I asked him again if i should walk and he says no.. He does not want to lose me and i do not want to lose him either but i want to prove my love for him so that he one day sees that the girl, probably loves him but she's got no integrity.. And i purely love him.. But because i respect his relationship, i CAN NOT TELL HIM TO BREAK UP WITH HER but wanting him to see things himself but the question is for how long.. He says they are working things out now but he doesnt want to lose me esp as a friend... Difficult.. Out of God knows what, we agreed to let things flow since i will respect his relationship, like whenever his girl is around, i should make him believe that i will be fine.. Now, he isnt happy because he said if he hadnt met the gf, he'd have gone ahead to date me.. For me, i cannot sleep, ive been typing this since God knows when and this is 3:36am.. Since he is confused now, please people, friends, family, can i use love to make him see the difference between his girl and me.. He loves his girl, he is controlling his feelings for me and afraid to let it grow because he knows we'd bond, while my feelings toward him is real.. Money has not been involved in this.. We are 6months now.. I believe in true love and that it does not come easy.. Talk to me Y'll because i have no parents to talk to,, i would have talked to my mum now but she isnt here... I want to win with true love.. I turned 27 this past november and he turned 30 same november.. Thank You and God bless..[/s]

Side chic anthem.

Why don't you just say: I know he has a girlfriend but I don't want to let him go?

That way, it will be more reasonable to understand what you are STILL doing with him.

Because if you are saying that he doesn't want to let you go, then you will also have to describe the type of rope he's using to tie you down from leaving him.

You still want to make your inability to leave him his fault?

Typical women never taking the blame. It's always the guy's fault.

Nonsense.

Getting laid by him last month connects you emotionally with him. You came on this fora hoping to get support and reasons you should fight for love, but what you got was the opposite, hence the explanation, so we see it from your perspective. The truth remains that you are the only one fighting for this attraction, and it is scarring you more than you know. Continue this trend and if you are all u claim(as regards your nature), it will take you years/decades to fully grasp what this scar will spiral into and don't get me started on the healing process. For once, choose YOU. cc Gayatri

my gosh you can write l didn't even read it all, but my advice to you would be; don't get involved with a guy that is already committed to another girl, it will end in tears don't be carried away by his sweet words no matter how sincere he might sound or be because you will never get his undivided attention and you would forever remain second best... my two cents

Honestly, you are a palliative waiting to be looted. Run my sister, run.

You must be hurting deeply to have posted this around that time.
My advice for you is to forget about him because he won’t come to his senses if the other lady doesn’t break his heart. If it’s difficult to leave him, try getting into another relationship at least it’ll make you get over him. Trust me you’ll be fine

Sorry sister you got yourself in this tough lovie relationship, from the write up, you are a kind and good lady i hope that continues till you get married and during, having said that, this guy is not ready to luz you at all, he feel safe, you bond together plus his family is what you want as in law, good. the other lady you dont really say if shes good to or not but let and allow things to pen out, keep being with the guy and be care. Dont force it, what is yours, no one can take it away from you and otherwise.

Well well well,
I will say here that both of you are grown yes but immature to know what you want.

When you play with emotions, you're playing suicidal games..

Now, ask yourself: if the guy really loves you and wants you in his life, he wouldn't have gone back to his ex.

Now also is this problem I have with you girls. When you like a guy, tell him you like him and if where possible, propose to him. There's no shame in that. The worse thing you did is that you didn't tell him your true intentions of wanting him and only him for yourself and now you let him slip away..

How long will you both keep pretending and playing this game? Is it until one gets a disease from the other?

Call him after reading this and tell him it's over between both of you or he should end the relationship with the ex.

You cannot serve two masters at a time.
A woman is like a flower, which wanes with time. End the relationship and wait for a more worthy guy in your life to come. Just clear the room for someone who will put you above everything else.. That's your man.

I don't know why good people like us don't see nice girls like you but it is well.

Goodluck..

lols, truthfully speaking u dont even need to call him and tell him...let him be if he calls sef dont answer for a few times ignore him, show a lack of interest,...hang out with other folks, upload the pics of you chilling and having fun.....when u answer his calls try to make it brief and the end you can say u want to go hangout with a friend that u'll call him back...but dont call back.....when he wants to come back to his senses he would..so that he wont use u to catch cruise...whatever pain ur feeling ..hide it.....you cant teach a man how to come back to his senses....when he sees you wont tolerate nonsense in go sit up.....thank me later..lools...go out and meet other people.....me i always tell ppl u can always control ur emotions from the onset..it makes u very aware.....that way u dont get too entangled until ur a bit sure of the person.....peace...lols i wish i was there to help u...sometimes guys eye dey clear when dem get competition......haha

Gayatri:

Thank You, i so appreciate this.. I will.. I'd have to gather the strength now and call him to tell him...

[quote author=Gayatri post=96946887]I do not know how to start this but i will

Dear OP, you're a good Lady and you deserve better, Many have given you beautiful advice but the truth of the matter is that only can choose to make this decision because it's your life!!
Once again you DESERVE better!
Hope it all works out well for you.
Regards..

Gayatri:


I understand You, perfectly Sir.... When i told him that i'd walk, he said what did i mean by walk away.. I told him, i meant keeping him totally off from my life.. He said, not even being friends with him?- i said no because feelings are involved and he said well then he cannot let me walk away.. That he is so attached and addicted to me.. Hmm

But since he is confused and they are not engaging any time soon, is it possible for me to make him see that she might not be real and she is the one who is to get him focused and if he cant be content with her then he is making the wrong choice of being with her.. Is it possible Sir??.. Jusy asking because i fell for him not for money or his been nice or whatever but his rare kindness, honesty with me, and appreciating the very little things i do, aside the coincidental connections we have... Im sorry if im asking too much questions... I want to be sure ad make my decision and not regret it whatsoever...

Your problem is you're too nice. Bad birches have their way and the guys love them for it. You're not dating and you claim he's honest... Na wah for you oh sis.

If a guy tells me he has a gf and he loves her, what the h.ll are you still dillydallying around him for

If you can't tell him you'd walk away without him trying to convince you otherwise, take the bull by the horn, kill off that stupid feelings Go into ghost mode and silence is golden. Don't block him, but become inaccessible, period.! He's a bloody timewaster who can't make up his damn mind!

He's just enjoying your being "there" for him... Open your heart for a new person, date him, your own bf and let's see if he can be " just there" for you too

Sweet pea honestly that guy is playing on you.
I don't have any other thing to say but trust me he is a bloody liar. What a smart guy.