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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened (80713 Views)
Kenyan Man Returns Empty-Handed 42 Years After He Left Home For Greener Pastures / None Of My Fiance's Family Members Likes Me. Please Help / My Fiance Has A Child Out Of Wedlock. But Kept It A Secret From Me. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by TransAtlanticEx(m): 5:42pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
Mariangeles:Yes. 19 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Biglittlelois(f): 5:42pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
42 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Mariangeles(f): 5:47pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
TransAtlanticEx: OK. Fair then. Where I come from, we're culturally raised to go bearing gifts whenever we visited places like your in-laws or your maternal home. I remember my grandfather giving us fresh palm wine to give to his in-laws on his behalf(my mother's family). It is an act of honour, and not of compulsion. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Mariangeles(f): 5:49pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
Biglittlelois: Hahahahahahahahaha What is your problem? Why are you always always angry? Why do you take everybody's comment personal? What is or are your issue(s)? 3 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Biglittlelois(f): 5:55pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
Mariangeles: Are you refering to me? Lol this must be for someone else Stating a counter opinion to yours is me being always bitter and angry? Who took my words personal with your "don't play smart" or "don't partronise" rant? You must think you're worth the anger effort, you are just a moniker maria Nice chat though, cheers. 57 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Hathor5(f): 6:00pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
Biglittlelois: She is even acting as if she did him a favor by offering something to drink. Oh boy! 62 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Hathor5(f): 6:04pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
Freemasonry: 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Hathor5(f): 6:06pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
ststyreal: My thoughts. He took his time to visit her mom even though his girl wasn't around which is really nice. The women in my family would be concerned if he has already eaten and serve him food whether he is hungry or not instead of complaining about him not bringing gifts. Ungrateful lot. 74 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Hathor5(f): 6:09pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
GIANTPLUSHUB: She certainly needs to learn how to handle such issues before she thinks of marriage. And she needs to be firm in her loyalty to her man before her family. It starts before marriage. 31 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by izzou(m): 6:33pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
Mariangeles: When did he turn to her in-law? Dem don marry? I can decide to bring a gift everytime I visit. That doesn't mean it's an abomination if a guy shows up without a gift in front of his babe's mum. She even told us how her mum entertained him. Sincerely, I think her boyfriend dodged a missile. The Op needs a lot of growing up 76 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by izzou(m): 6:45pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
Biglittlelois: I'm Igbo, and i think it has to do with the family itself The guy even wanted to visit her mum despite the fact that she wasn't around. Very thoughtful, if you ask me Yet, dem wan pursue am because e no buy gift come. 48 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by iamL(f): 6:48pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
Your mum should have been more concerned about his behavior and the kind of man he is. 63 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Mariangeles(f): 6:51pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
Biglittlelois: Fa ara e bale! Wa pada wa alright! |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Mariangeles(f): 6:57pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
izzou: You didn't answer my question straightforwardly. For me, I don't think the woman did anything wrong telling her daughter (mothers do that most times), it was wrong of the lady confronting her fiance with what her mother told her, and then hanging up without sorting things out with him. What she should've done is guide her fiance on what to do next time he goes visiting. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by izzou(m): 7:10pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
Mariangeles: The last time he came, he brought a gift for the mum And then because he comes again without any gift, she goes complaining? I don't blame people who think the Op's family is poor or the mum is greedy No wahala sha. She can decide to sacrifice her happiness for an in-law that always remember to bring gifts when visiting her mum 47 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Afromentalist: 7:30pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
Mariangeles:You people only like culture when it favours your materialistic tendencies. Now you are so attached to the culture of bringing gifts to the in laws, If we now talk about polygamy and patriarchy , you will now curse culture and call it backwardness and woman exploitation. Let's leave culture out of this discussion. Did the guy do anything that would warrant such foolish reaction ? In fact if I be the man, I will never be back in such a relationship. 116 Likes 15 Shares |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by NoToPile: 7:30pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
I am not interested in the giving a gift or not part of the arguement, I am much more worried about your reaction. You have a fiancee which means soon you will be married by now you SHOULD know how to manage your parents and husband which should actually be the easiet to manage for you. You should NEVER have told him about the incident , A simple - sorry mom it must have been an oversight and not saying a word to your fiance would have sufficed and next time he wants to visit you can chip in the 'I think you should get some fruits( or whatever) for mum' part Your mum might not be wrong for telling you what she told you, Elderly people have certain expectations which might not sound palatable to our ears but you are the one that knows how you will handle the issues. This simple matter? It has never even gotten to in- law matters 70 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Xxx123xxx(m): 7:35pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
Trayceey:..Why is your focus on who is right or wrong if i say you are right how does that fix your current dilemma. 13 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Omoluabi16(m): 7:43pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
Figment of the writer's imagination. Before you know, F.P things. 2 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Mariangeles(f): 7:46pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
Afromentalist:Tell that to those who want your "materials" If we now talk about polygamy and patriarchy , you will now curse culture and call it backwardness and woman exploitation. He didn't do anything wrong, but he did something shameful according to Igbo culture. Ihe ihere. And no, culture can not be left out when it involves your in-laws. |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Mariangeles(f): 7:51pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
@izzou, go to the front page, scroll down below and mail the super mods to unban you. You have questions to answer... |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by lilyheaven: 8:00pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
Hathor5: They didn’t even serve him food, na drink they gave him. How can a mother no see it necessary to him food 37 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Karleb(m): 8:01pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
It's either you marry your mother or your culture but that young man has not done anything wrong. 14 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by DrayZee: 8:03pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
iamL: His behaviour probably checks out. That’s the reason why they have time to be making noise about something as trivial as this. As for the OP, if you like, don’t go and apologize. Even you didn’t see anything wrong with what he did at first, but you hung up while he was trying to explain himself...for what reason? You dey find conflict. Apologize and explain yourself properly, because that guy is going to be thinking a lot of things. 11 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by izzou(m): 8:07pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
Mariangeles: How can a mother be angry that her daughter's boyfriend didn't bring a gift to visit her? Can you please tell us what part of Igbo culture makes it mandatory for a boyfriend to bring some offering to his girlfriend's mother anytime she visits As for the op, she needs to stay single for a while. She does not even have a mind of her own 56 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by poshestmina(f): 8:18pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
My problem is with Op who reported/chastised the Fiancee . How do you think the guy will feel towards your mum and family? I have never gone to an In law's house empty-handed .... Doesn't mean it's mandatory or I owe anybody anything infact if I was that guy ,I might never come back to that house. Your mom didn't do well at all and you even worsened the whole thing. 37 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Homeboiy: 8:20pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
If you go to marry from a poor family,that’s what you always see. Especially imo state girls Funny enough when this girl traceey went to visit his man family, she never gave them any gift. Hungry mother and daughter. If I happen to be that guy, I will quit anything with your family. 51 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by hakeemhakeem(m): 8:20pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
Trayceey: Why can't you listen to what people have to say,whatever they said to you take it nobody putted gun on your head before written your story 7 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Ghostrye: 8:28pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
Turn your textbook to chapter 1 - How to deal with leeches 30 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Ghostrye: 8:34pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
ceeceeuwa:Wawu, see entitlement, even #250 bread. Na your mama buy the bread put for his hand? Damn annoying leeches crawling up for themselves. 64 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by 234GT(m): 8:49pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
There is too much hunger in the land. I went to Abuja to see my ex parents. When I was leaving, she said her mum complained that I did not give her any money. I could not understand why I should give her anything. Say no to entitlement mentality. 44 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by mutter(f): 9:12pm On Jan 07, 2021 |
Please call him up and make peace.aybe he just had reservations. He did not know how to present gifts or didn't know how it would come across. If he is your fiance many more visits will follow. Alone the respect of paying homage is a a great move.Not many men would do what he did.. go there alone. 9 Likes |
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