Xmen149:


E shock you fa.

ogo bu chi onye (ones In-law is his God) is a term formulated by old reched igbo families they use to tax their inlaw to death. Then they will crown it by giving the in-law one of the girls younger brother or sister to help them raise.

All are big nonsense families are changing now.

The last thing you will do in my house then is to introduce someone as your boyfriend or girlfriend, no matter your age,.fear gree them come again for no fucken reason but to just come and see my parents and bring gifts you don buy case for my parents hand

Trayceey:
My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around. When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink. Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up. Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

Kaimaonyeana:


A bottle of wine would have settled this whole ish. Maybe because i'm igbotic but i can't go to an inlaw's place for the first time emptyhanded as a man. Just my opinion.

izzou:


Read what you quoted again

1) It was not his first time. He brought a gift before

2) She is not his inlaw.

mogbolade43693:
Dis is the problem,with many relationships in nigeria..ur mum was expecting him to come with big bread,milo and milk.ur mum acted wrongly.dis is just a boyfriend and not ur husband.

ceeceeuwa:

Even #250 bread, the Bobo no fit buy!
Their hate for women on this forum won't make them see reasons.

TransAtlanticEx:

Speak for your clan,we don't do that where I come from and I'm also igbo.
We are not beggars and we like to hold our heads up high,
Giving should only come from the givers own volition and not some silly expectation,
Atleast where I come from.

Mariangeles:


Let them keep on deceiving themselves on Nairaland. Something they wouldn't dare do in reality to avoid embarrassment.

Fiscus105:



I concur, it seems the tongue op used too heavy, If you follow my comments you will notice I don't comment on her post directly despite I saw the post earlier, I started commenting on comments that attacking mother in law, in this situation the person who made biggest mistake is fiance, I keep repeating it, though op didn't play her card accurately as well. We are In Africa let play accordingly plz, we should stop bringing ailien culture at detriment of our own,

My wife can not imagine going to my parents house without bringing gifts even when I complain I don't have money, likewise me

According to op, going to his in law house not compulsory because he told him, she would be around, why can't he stay behind if he doesn't prepare to give them gifts not even December period

Oga school we go shouldn't make us to jettison our culture of decency o, instead we should promote culture and politeness

Let me repeat my self, my sisters and brothers in laws used to complain I don't use to call, will it good to tell them If I don't call they too can call me? I have never thought of it once


Place you are going which is not often, haba

SweetCunt97:
Are you stupid? Or you choose to be dumb? Oooooh because it's her mom not her dad? Don't you know your culture? You wanna visit, knock on door and yiu coming empty handed.

I can bet my last kobo say na yoruba boy go do that thing. Even if it's ordinary fruits

Trayceey:
it would be more fun for me if it's moved to front page. I would really love that

Fiscus105:



Why won't she? Going to ur in law place around festive period and you go thr empty handed, Whc type of careless and insensitive fiance is that, such guy will not be sensitive to pay sch fees and dropping food money in future, if she tries to marry such animal


Yoruba will say..... Ko moju Ko Mora (one who doesn't know what is shameful)

Fiscus105:

Means business? Can he do the business successful? That's question you should ask urself

A wise mother had seeeeeeeeeen that, if a guy that has not entered their house completely, can be so insensitive like this,.......how much is Eva? Soap, etc. The fiance action is enough to know he not matured enough to be calling responsible man,.... A man ready to carry responsibilities of wife and kids, just like you and others are complaining.

If he bought something and mother complained it was too small, that would have been a different story.

Mariangeles:


The fault was from the op for confronting her fiance about it. It should never have gotten to that extent.

Kaimaonyeana:



Yes, i can't go to an intending in-law's place empty-handed as a man. It doesn't speak well of me as an igbo man. Just 1000 naira bottle of eva wine would suffice. It really isn't that deep. Nobody gives my daddy an invitation card empty handed, a bottle of wine accompanys it. And no, we are not hungry, broke or entitled. It's just a symbol of respect. By the way, i also grew up my wholelife in the west. Only came down to the east precisely Enugu for my tertiary education and i still know the basics.

TransAtlanticEx:
No it's not just a yoruba thing oo.
I am an Anambra man 100%,in 2004 after my sister's husband has come for introduction and all,my sister travelled for her studies.
My mom was always sending food to his house,almost everyday.I use to be the one going there to drop the food cos we lived like 2km apart so I know.
Sometimes my immediate older sister.
Then the guy was still struggling(not poor but still hustling),he didn't have a car,my mom gave him one of the cars in the house that wasn't really doing anything(toyota carina II ) just because he saw him untop okada in a commercial town they both do business in(you know how dangerous okada was seen in that era),he used till about 2005 when he bought his own car and returned ours which he had already scrapped(nobody complain!) because he used it for business.
My mother had plenty trucks because she was a trader,my sister's husband stopped paying transport for goods because he can always come home and take anyone he likes and just buy diesel and tip the driver rather than chartering a truck(All because of marriage ooo still at introductory level).
Na em one clown here dey say its igbo culture to always carry gift to their homes bla bla bla...
It's not igbo culture abeg,speak for your clan.
Do you know how stupid you will look to take provisions to go and visit a well to do family?Like you come and park and start offloading rice and tomato with milo
So disrespectful!!!
The only thing you can give these set of people is whiskey or champagne(to the father) or Cuban cohibars if he smokes and maybe clothe to the mom(hollandis) or cash gift.
Anything else is outright stupid and disrespectful for well-off families.

Afromentalist:

Please, can you give me your fiancé's contact? I would love to talk to him.

sapporo:






20years ago your comment would have been EOD, boss asking us to abide by our culture in this modern age is out of place because all these gurls we have now, operate under foreign culture team slay
i understand your morals, your personality is still rooted in how you were raised,some of have this upbringing to, buh now we evolve with the trends, anyhow they bring it we give it back. a cultured gurlfriend won't cut the call on her husband to be.
A woman that wants a cultured man must be cultured herself, if you gimme foreign vibe mesef go come with maths set & tape rule.

pocohantas:


This was the exact scenario that played out with my uncle. It happens a lot in reality- but this is Nairaland sha.

Trayceey:
My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around. When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink. Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up. Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

JovialJune:



Go and check my profile and probably my comments, I'm a graduate from a prestigious University, a married woman with kids, I don't blindly support nonsense based on gender,

You this Nl people always assuming rubbish on people they don't even know offline just to drive home a useless point, accept you're wrong, simple.

Trayceey:
why not search it on Google?

Afromentalist:

No wonder at 32, you are not married yet. Who wants to marry an evening newspaper who neither has good character, youth and to top it all is a leech ?

The guy was even trying sef.

Cc. Transatlanticex

Afromentalist:

No wonder at 32, you are not married yet. Who wants to marry an evening newspaper who neither has good character, youth and to top it all is a leech ?

The guy was even trying sef.

Cc. Transatlanticex

ethicallyright:


Even cash gift is disrespectful master.
An expensive wine for the man and expensive attire for the mother is enough.
Your family really has great courtesy. I see why you cannot settle for less.

TransAtlanticEx:
One thing you should know is that giving women money is a form of putting them in their appropriate place in your life,exactly where you want them.
The moment a woman collects money from you is the day she gets in that position and gives you leverage.
Always do that to women,especially the ones that don't make money on their own but are dependent on a rich husband.

TransAtlanticEx:
One thing you should know is that giving women money is a form of putting them in their appropriate place in your life,exactly where you want them.
The moment a woman collects money from you is the day she gets in that position and gives you leverage.
Always do that to women,especially the ones that don't make money on their own but are dependent on a rich husband.

Trayceey:
lol. It really pained you seriously . So unmarried ladies at 45 should kill themselves abi. Highest fool of the century. Come and collect his contact na. Anu mpama.

Fiscus105:




If your story is true, ......u have not seen husband o, but animal perhaps wife beater

My sister and brother in law use to complain I don't use to call them regularly....... I have never thought for once (not saying o,) ....that why cant they call me if I don't call them? Such fight is fight with someone who loves me. The same way ur mother complained

ethicallyright:


Sir,
I must confess it is better to follow well thought out principles like yours instead of following a school of thought like a robot.

The redpill patients would think otherwise.

I guess the general rule is to be wise with money while dealing with women, but if you want to control them , spend it on them since they are indecisive creatures motivated by wealth and riches.

May you remain wise and Influential master.

DrayZee:


“Animal” and potential “wife beater”, because he didn’t buy bread.

Wonderful.