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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened (78943 Views)
Kenyan Man Returns Empty-Handed 42 Years After He Left Home For Greener Pastures / None Of My Fiance's Family Members Likes Me. Please Help / My Fiance Has A Child Out Of Wedlock. But Kept It A Secret From Me. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by izzou(m): 9:56pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
BRATISLAVA: Then she stop whining about not receiving any gift. She is definitely rich enough to let go 1 Like |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Gloriagee(f): 9:57pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
Is this the same guy who lost his job and you're supporting financially. Please shine ya eyes Trayceey: |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by orgylover: 9:57pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
this is why i tell guys and girls to avoid poor bastards. i visitted my fiancee and her bro wanted to buy me a laptop worth 400k. my fiancee visited me and my sis gave her 22k gold chain. death to peasants 4 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by savanto: 9:57pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
izzou: You are quite on point in all you wrote but the guy does not owe the woman any apology in this matter, rather, it should be the other way round. |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by delishpot: 9:58pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
Afromentalist: The the mom doesnt have joy whymust she expect Ntaanta everytime he visits even if she expects sef, she should chill if he skips a beat na. Too early to start counting what she did for him. Hian small drink she give am she don count am already? I blame him for forming over familiarity sha. 1 Like |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by BRATISLAVA: 9:59pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
izzou: The gift thing seems to be the traditional way people go about making their intentions known, in Nigeria. He definitely knew that. If it were about money, they wouldn't have given him anything, but the mother did so s part of her traditional role. |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by BOSMANARIS(m): 9:59pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
Wish you can send me the guy's number to me to help you talk sense into him. Would have told him to borrow leg join leg and leave you and your expectant mother. You are just revealing the type of wife you're gonna be in marriage. You go dey expose your husband very well. Not protection from you 3 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Fejimummy: 10:01pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
Poverty na bastard o he is not married to you yet and the agenda on the table is for your family to milk him dry!!! So your man can't come on a friendly visit na wa o..Even me that just got married my mom don't even take money from my husband when she comes visiting because she feels we are just starting life and that we need the money more than she does. 5 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Johnnyplus01k(m): 10:02pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
Miarose:simple |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by smogjoe(m): 10:02pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
This is indeed a simple case. Some blemish was spotted in the sensitivity of your so-called Boyfriend. And to those of you saying 'E no get Money'... Was he asked to bring a car or buy them a house. Ordinary #500 bread will do. Moreover, it wasn't compulsory for him to go since his gf wasn't around. He should have saved himself from all these mess. And for you the gf, you've got no problem with what has happened. That shouldn't truncate your relationship. If he is responsible enough, he should find fault in what he has done. If you deeply love him, go and pay him a visit and iron things out maturely. |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by deavicky(m): 10:02pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
Why i am having the impression that this can only happen in an igbp family. 1 Like |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Nobody: 10:03pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
bad guy providencia: 2 Likes
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Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Liposure: 10:04pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
Fiscus105:what if he is not conversant with cultural courtesies. some manners are excusable |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by sacajawea: 10:04pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
GayPontiff:You dey mind that mariangeles girl, We are Africans ko, we are cansAfri ni. Na the mama suppose entertain am well sef, talk to am, chat with am, try study am etc. Money should be the last thing in her mind especially if indeed they are not poor and are well to do. Atmost him fit drop flowers not necessarily gifts, provisions or money. Oyinbo no dey reason like this, moreso this is the first time if them meeting, marriage or introduction is not yet in motion per say, so no biggy. No wonder nigerian men like to control their wives and women, and look down on women generally 3 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by MakyavelitheDon(m): 10:04pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
Trayceey: Your response just proved me right. If truly you're female I pity you, but I pity your future partner more.... If you're even able to have one 2 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by adewasco19(m): 10:04pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
Mariangeles:But a lady going to visit her would-be mother in law empty handed is right? We are Africans that's true, but it's not all about gift everytime. |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by savanto: 10:05pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
Trayceey: Mothers, having a hold on their children, is a natural phenomenon, but it has to be a “REASONABLE HOLD” 1 Like |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by sacajawea: 10:06pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
Trayceey:Haaaaaaaa! Brothers and Sisters una dey see am so??!!! |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by izzou(m): 10:06pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
BRATISLAVA: Did you not read where she said he had visited before and brought gifts? Trayceey: Everybody is always traditional online. Pray tell, does the in-law in your family bring a gift every single time he visits? The young man (a boyfriend) came to visit and there's already wailings that he didn't bring anything. I wonder what would happen if he brings nothing after marrying her Na to end the marriage remain. 1 Like |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Liposure: 10:09pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
BRATISLAVA:our tradition is petty 1 Like |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by osazsky(m): 10:10pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
TransAtlanticEx:kia bros u wicked. See finishing..a hole will always remain a hole..once the gifts stop coming the mum encoutages her daughter to look for someone with a higher gift wat a show of shame |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by wristbangle: 10:12pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
I sensed lies in OP's story when she said her fiance dressed down to see her mother for the first time when it is not. This can never as a responsible man will dress humbly to impress his in-law with dignity and respect. It was people who choked her before she could tell when he visited the first time, he got her mum gift and dressed as the culture permits. A lady who is capable of painting his fiance bad in people's presence can kill the promising man before his time. Also, her mum is very greedy. For her to have the audacity to say she offered her the only drink she has shows her inhumane and inconsiderate attitude. I am sorry to say, her husband, OP's dad must have got fed up of her nasty behaviour. Finally, the OP is not ready for marriage. It's better she sucks her mum's nunu still she turm grandma at home. The young man upon hearing the distasteful attitude of her and mum must have cancelled his plans to wedding her. It doesn't have to be money always. Many young ladies are trapped in abusive marriage because their mother as a result of gluttony pushed their daughters into wrong hands. Example is Regina Daniels. She is feeling the heat little by little. The truth will be revealed someday. |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by BRATISLAVA: 10:13pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
izzou: Context is important. Most people who think they aren't traditional online are the ones who lick the in-laws feet in reality. Most, if not all, Nigerians follow the traditional way when getting married, and there are certain expectations that accompany it, so acting like it doesn't exist doesn't fly. One of the marriage traditions is the giving of gifts. If such tradition did not exist, why did the mother still serve him anything? By admissions above, she's not to. Even when people visit their regular friends, they always go with a gift, so what's the big deal in this case? So he brought a gift before means he mustnever give one again? Why does he want to traditionally see her parents but doesn't want to be traditional the rest of the way? |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by decrownprince(m): 10:13pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
Trayceey:You are having fun yet you want to delet the post. Please say something else. 1 Like |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Ingredient88(m): 10:14pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
Trayceey:.... very very wrong, your guy shouldn't have done that! how on Earth will you go to your in-laws house empty-handed? a normal Yoruba man/person we never do that! you don't go to your in-laws house empty-handed, it is good that your mum's complain about it, it shouldn't be, at least go there with a bottle of wine or bread...even provisions will do, or when leaving you give them something, even though you don't have much a little will have done better, make Una date better person, Una no go gree...you see your life out side, I love that woman coz she never hide it.... She spoke her mind. 1 Like |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Ingredient88(m): 10:16pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
donbachi:oga Ade, she said fiance.....not boyfriend o,.... Even if na boyfriend, he should have respect him self! |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by BRATISLAVA: 10:16pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
Liposure: Yes, it is. This is why Nigerians value traditional weddings more than any other type. |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by shantti(m): 10:18pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
Trayceey: U and ur mother are useless and mad, i was even thinking this was his first visit, do you women like being unreasonable for fun or what |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by osazsky(m): 10:18pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
How i wish her boyfriend was on nl...over over..retrieve over over..REPEAT over over this is a death trap retrive..the marraige will end in tears..i remember last yr christmas..didnt have cash to buy theq usual yearly bag of rice my wife went behind my back and bought 2 very big chickens for her parents and lied to them that i was the one that bought it..my father in law called me before she got home..as a smart guy i quickly played along..guys stop marrying someone u met walking along the street or on Twitter cuz u saw an empty ass.marry ur friend..i know y 1 Like |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by DEBJOCH1(m): 10:18pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
orgylover:. PLEASE CAN I VISIT YOU? |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by izzou(m): 10:18pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
BRATISLAVA: I think you're typing too much and saying less The mother is complaining that he brought nothing and even sad that she offered him a drink without getting nothing in return. That's petty to me. Very petty. He's not even her husband. Just a boyfriend. The probability of them not marrying is there. At this point, he is not an in-law, and cannot be treated as such. Stop talking about giving gifts. Nobody is saying it's bad to give gifts People are only talking about the entitlement mentality a mother and daughter decided to have. He's her boyfriend and it ends at that. The moment he comes for introduction and traditional, we can start talking differently It's that simple 2 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Ingredient88(m): 10:19pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
Mariangeles:God bless you richly, you most be arawa, who hasn't lost is culture. |
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