Hustle oo

Where do you get apartments this cheap? Which state abeg?

Please which state do u reside that u want to rent house with 60k and buy land for 150k

Sorry Bro

Are these the only 3 reasons.

If so, You are over thinking things.

Be a Man.

Most people eventually learn to be a Man in Marraige.

Women can be naughty at times.

From the point u hv stated so far
1. I think your wife made u to rush the whole thing all bcs of age factor
2. Secondly, u were never bold enough to tel her the way things should be and that's problem most people make this day.
3. I think u guys dated for few months if I'm not mistakenly coupled with family pressure to marry.
4. Baba u are a man always stand on your ground, if she wan go mak she go after all marriage favors women than men. That's what most women will tell u that we will manage bla bla but when the hit start, u see them changing for the worst
I keep telling people marriage is not and will never be an achievement it only favors women that's why whenever they are engage with somebody they can manipulate they next thing is marriage not.minding how life has bring treating the innocent young man

S

there's no perfect marriage, everybody at some point thinks he/she married the wrong person, including pastors

Ok

malcom1X:
Guy be a man.
Don't ever borrow money from your wife to do anything. If you don't have tell her you don't have. That her money should be spent on her children.

Pay her dowry, don't owe her, it's her money. She saved you from embarrassment.

You’re talking nonsense, two shall come and become one, he don’t own her anything she doesn’t save him from any embarrassment rather she brings that embarrassment to him

That's why it's good for man to work hard than his wife.
notwithstanding the woman is stingy, she would have being atleast helping you without asking you to pay back as she knows you are not financial ok.
all you can do if you are eloquent is to call her and give her a special advice that will touch her heart she will change.

You married a right person.
Marriage needs constant effort to make it work well.
If you listen to other people's Marriage you will thank God. Yet they remain together.

DEmejioba1:
I got married in 2018,since then I have been battling with some unimaginable experiences with my wife even when I thought I married to a religious lady.

To cut the story short,

Prior to our marriage, things was not so good enough for me but because of age consideration of both of us we decided to wed with the help of our families.

The first thing that happened which caught me thinking afterward was that during our make up to wedding,my wife insisted that she's receiving 50k dowry which she knew I wouldn't be able to get it just shortly before the wedding. I told her that there is no way I could afford it then that she should reduce it may be to 20k, she said I should not worry that things will be sorted out. A day to the wedding she told me that when it's segment for dowry collection that she would pronounce that she had collected it. I said no problem. Since then I have not been able to pay it because she wants full cash. Now, any slide misunderstanding she refers to it.

Secondly, immediately after the marriage,I was left with 60k which I thought we would manage to get a room and a parlour apartment for a start, just to do according to my pocket in my present rent house. But my wife insisted that we should let 2 bedroom flat at 100k but knowing fully that my source of income would not maintain it couple with other obligations that I would be discharging. She said, she would lend me 40k.
Thank God I was able to pay her the money. But still thinking over wasteful of almost 50k,while 150k can secure a land for bulding house in my area.

Thirdly, few months after our marriage. We were having misunderstanding and I carelessly said if the marriage can not work it better we go our separate ways, my wife holds on this statement and continue saying that she just need me to say it twice more and the marriage is over.

But I used to think over all these with other ones that I cant write, then, I ask myself if truly she loves me or may be am with wrong person.

What is your thought about this?

Hmm guy with the kind of small small money you're mentioning eh you should not had even thought of marriage. Infact you should be quating with your parents for now so that you can grow and make a little money before you start thinking of marriage

DEmejioba1:
I got married in 2018,since then I have been battling with some unimaginable experiences with my wife even when I thought I married to a religious lady.

To cut the story short,

Prior to our marriage, things was not so good enough for me but because of age consideration of both of us we decided to wed with the help of our families.

The first thing that happened which caught me thinking afterward was that during our make up to wedding,my wife insisted that she's receiving 50k dowry which she knew I wouldn't be able to get it just shortly before the wedding. I told her that there is no way I could afford it then that she should reduce it may be to 20k, she said I should not worry that things will be sorted out. A day to the wedding she told me that when it's segment for dowry collection that she would pronounce that she had collected it. I said no problem. Since then I have not been able to pay it because she wants full cash. Now, any slide misunderstanding she refers to it.

Secondly, immediately after the marriage,I was left with 60k which I thought we would manage to get a room and a parlour apartment for a start, just to do according to my pocket in my present rent house. But my wife insisted that we should let 2 bedroom flat at 100k but knowing fully that my source of income would not maintain it couple with other obligations that I would be discharging. She said, she would lend me 40k.
Thank God I was able to pay her the money. But still thinking over wasteful of almost 50k,while 150k can secure a land for bulding house in my area.

Thirdly, few months after our marriage. We were having misunderstanding and I carelessly said if the marriage can not work it better we go our separate ways, my wife holds on this statement and continue saying that she just need me to say it twice more and the marriage is over.

But I used to think over all these with other ones that I cant write, then, I ask myself if truly she loves me or may be am with wrong person.

What is your thought about this?

Oga you're the problem, money is your problem. Go and make money

Coconutheadd01:
There is really much to learn

Honestly

Honestly after reading this your gibberish, i think your wife married the wrong man actually and not what you insinuate.

Buy 150k land so you can join in building another set of slums in 2021 when we are already tired of the ones that abound everywhere. Poverty mentality kill you there.

And the lady is even supporting you one way or the other while pushing you to become your best version but poverty mentality has taken over your body and soul already.

Useless lots, when they find angels trying to bring out the best out of them in life they start to complain because they are so used to status quo. Nonsense. Poverty mentality kee you dia once more.

malcom1X:
Guy be a man.
Don't ever borrow money from your wife to do anything. If you don't have tell her you don't have. That her money should be spent on her children.

Pay her dowry, don't owe her, it's her money. She saved you from embarrassment.

If you can't borrow money from your own wife, who should you then borrow from?

Xisnin:
You are the wrong person!
You couldn't take care of yourself while single but you thought it wise to engage in a
family-sponsored marriage.
Did your family also promise to help you run your marriage financially?

All I can see from this story is a man suffering from financial woes and trying to blame
his wife for it.

Exactly, I can't even see what the wife has done wrongly here

malcom1X:
Guy be a man.
Don't ever borrow money from your wife to do anything. If you don't have tell her you don't have. That her money should be spent on her children.

Pay her dowry, don't owe her, it's her money. She saved you from embarrassment.

I agree with everything but that. Whatever income comes into a marriage is yours and hers.

just want to know your location, because 150k for a piece of land is shocking

she never even slap u na em u dey write all dis long story? that's woman for just try n pay her the money u owe her ok, just ignore all her noise making she will change as soon as u pay her her money

Reading through your story I have a picture of a union void of harmony and full of bitterness, it will not be good that you raise your kids in this kind of hostile atmosphere.

In it all I don't see you been in a wrong marriage is just that certain lines are missing, for instance it is glaring that your wife possesses alpha influence in the marriage, she seems to be de-factor, your control to take necessary decision for your family is weak.

The woman meant well to have covered up for you on the dowry and if you want to gain your dignity you better find the money and give it to her otherwise others may believe that you have paid her dowry but she know you have not pay it.

Whatever you cannot afford to give your family don't ever allow your wife to put you on pressure to give it. If the place you are living is too expensive for you stop the next rent and use it to get somewhere you can afford

You are a man, you should control what you say to your wife when you have misunderstanding, women can give hurting words but they can't take.

Omo this lady is God sent to u I swear. Bros please man up. Forget the environment you are staying. Don't let that environment make you feel you are comfortable. Some ladies are demanding 120k for hair and phone. Ur woman is supportive and tolerating I swear. Don't use harse words on her and always tell her things will get better and you will shower her with goodies. Good luck bro

Marriage!!! Oga o

slawormiir:
Damnnn niggarrrr
Isoright.....
See threat ....
Fear nor let the op talk am the second time again....
Bros op don't know what he has put his hand into.....

You think marriage na child's play

No OP still have 2 lifelines

Xisnin:
You are the wrong person!
You couldn't take care of yourself while single but you thought it wise to engage in a
family-sponsored marriage.
Did your family also promise to help you run your marriage financially?

All I can see from this story is a man suffering from financial woes and trying to blame
his wife for it.

Thank you for telling this guy the truth.


Our men will try all their best to put the blame on the ladies all the time even when they are the one clearly at fault.

I mean, you are struggling, a lady agreed to manage with you but you still make such statement, you expected her to come and beg?
Even if I'm the lady I won't take such statement lightly....just go and work on your attitude and stop trying getting others to fear you.

malcom1X:
Guy be a man.
Don't ever borrow money from your wife to do anything. If you don't have tell her you don't have. That her money should be spent on her children.

Pay her dowry, don't owe her, it's her money. She saved you from embarrassment.

Please sir, wat is her money and wat is your moñey?? My knowledge of d Bible and wat d institution called marriage is all about,tells me dat d man and woman becomes ONE,how else can dat ONENESS b understood? If not complimenting each other wen situations arises?

No offense, I think you're the wrong person for her, she's very patient and kind for her to have lend you the dowry and rent money.

Please work on yourself and learn how to control your mouth when angry because the mouth acts quicker than the brain when you're angry.

Please also seek the advice of a licensed Marriage therapist/councellor, or you can download the mypaddi app and just pay chikini money (2k) and you'll be able to speak to a marriage counselor from the comfort of your home,once again!, please and please WORK ON YOURSELF.

You see that thing about dowry and traditional rites, they don't ever borrow money to do it. If you borrow money to start your marital journey, there is already an error. I have an aunt who literally paid for everything from the traditional rites to the church wedding and till date, that man has not been able to pay any bill in that marriage and she has refused to divorce him after 12 years cause of what people will say. She is not happy, she now looks older than my mum that's her older sister.

Never ever live above your means. You could have insisted she wait for you to have money for the traditional rites.

Never marry cause you think age is not on your side, that's how you end up with garbage.

The signs were there from the beginning, you chose to overlook it and here you are.

My advice for you is that you put your foot down in that marriage, double your hustle and be the provider in your marriage.

BigSarah:
No you're looking at it the wrong way, the problem is you got MARRIED.

Hahahahaha

Don't loud it. He doesn't know

Oga ,This matter is Simple ,Keep Love Aside abeg ,Your problem is Money .Get extra Hustle ,Meet up with your Responsibility ,Stop borrowing money from her to meet up ,Do what your money can do ,If she gives you conditions ,Tell her you can't Afford it ,Simple .I have same Experienced before .Be a Man ,From the Content of your message ,Learn and stand to live withing what you have ,She would Trick you into doing somethings with the Idea of Supporting you to borrow you ,Well it would be better to stand as a Man rather than taking her money ,When she demands for it ,Na Humiliations it would turn to ooo.

Xisnin:
You are the wrong person!
You couldn't take care of yourself while single but you thought it wise to engage in a
family-sponsored marriage.
Did your family also promise to help you run your marriage financially?

Your wife didn't force you to do anything, you agreed to it even though you could have said no.
Forget what you see in Hollywood, love is overrated and is insufficient to run a stable marriage.

All I can see from this story is a man suffering from financial woes and trying to blame his wife for it.
One way to reduce your stress is to stop accepting suggestions that you will end up regretting later on.

Bro thanks for this honest observation. The guy is not financially buoyant, he went to marry a girl from church.

Thinking family and going to church will situate things for him.

He should concentrate on making money first