For our side na close relatives dey collect dowry but other people may be different.
Before you marry, make ya partner be ya friend and sister/brother.
As a man,nor ever do pass ya sef.
Arrange expenses wey you fit survive successfully.
Men bills dey stress dem. Nai dey make dem die more than women.
Remember man money na OUR OWN!
Woman money na ONLY her own.
The only way marriages go dey work well for Nigeria na only when women change their mindset toward their men.
The worst woman you can marry na a stingy one that loves shopping.
*If you marry a good wife, you are complete in your life.
*If you marry bad wife, you are finished.
*If you are going to marry a woman that loves shopping,you are completely finished in your life.
Na so dem talk am.

men... people dey suffer ooo

All will be well, stop thinking, you married a bad wife. NO WIFE BE ANGEL. make una no dey put una self under pressure wen no necessary. journey wen still far no need hurry hurry. GOD BLESS YOU.

DEmejioba1:
I got married in 2018,since then I have been battling with some unimaginable experiences with my wife even when I thought I married to a religious lady.

To cut the story short,

Prior to our marriage, things was not so good enough for me but because of age consideration of both of us we decided to wed with the help of our families.

The first thing that happened which caught me thinking afterward was that during our make up to wedding,my wife insisted that she's receiving 50k dowry which she knew I wouldn't be able to get it just shortly before the wedding. I told her that there is no way I could afford it then that she should reduce it may be to 20k, she said I should not worry that things will be sorted out. A day to the wedding she told me that when it's segment for dowry collection that she would pronounce that she had collected it. I said no problem. Since then I have not been able to pay it because she wants full cash. Now, any slide misunderstanding she refers to it.

Secondly, immediately after the marriage,I was left with 60k which I thought we would manage to get a room and a parlour apartment for a start, just to do according to my pocket in my present rent house. But my wife insisted that we should let 2 bedroom flat at 100k but knowing fully that my source of income would not maintain it couple with other obligations that I would be discharging. She said, she would lend me 40k.
Thank God I was able to pay her the money. But still thinking over wasteful of almost 50k,while 150k can secure a land for bulding house in my area.

Thirdly, few months after our marriage. We were having misunderstanding and I carelessly said if the marriage can not work it better we go our separate ways, my wife holds on this statement and continue saying that she just need me to say it twice more and the marriage is over.

But I used to think over all these with other ones that I cant write, then, I ask myself if truly she loves me or may be am with wrong person.

What is your thought about this?

Guyman your problem is because u are broke...Go and hustle hard and make money...I've not seen anything bad thatat your wife has done...
You should be in charge...when u know u don't have money to buy basic things why did u go into marriage..in marriage your wife will look up to you........you can't pay 50k dowry..but u want to marry...you only have 60k for rent..I wonder the kind of house 60k will rent...in Lagos it can't even rent one room, in student area ,it can't rent a selfcon...yet you are marrying...is it that u don't know the financial responsibility that comes with marriage?
Your wife borrows you money yet u are stressing her...your wife wants you to aim higher..cos u seem relax for low spots...that's why she's stressing you....Just work harder..all is well with ya marriage

You married your wife without the direction of God you married in flesh , My brother seek the face of Jesus Christ ask for his direction am 100%sure the rightful person you will marry is still single .. look deeper and be spiritually Alert , sorry to say that your marriage will always start and end with quarrels and bitter heart she May never agree with you on any issues , Honestly you married the WRONG LADY

Do you have common sense? What has were the woman comes from to do with the questions the man asked? If you do not have anything to contribute, just keep quiet.

JudgeKronos:
Oga,
I bet my January salary, your wife is from Imo State...

DEmejioba1:
I got married in 2018,since then I have been battling with some unimaginable experiences with my wife even when I thought I married to a religious lady.

To cut the story short,

Prior to our marriage, things was not so good enough for me but because of age consideration of both of us we decided to wed with the help of our families.

The first thing that happened which caught me thinking afterward was that during our make up to wedding,my wife insisted that she's receiving 50k dowry which she knew I wouldn't be able to get it just shortly before the wedding. I told her that there is no way I could afford it then that she should reduce it may be to 20k, she said I should not worry that things will be sorted out. A day to the wedding she told me that when it's segment for dowry collection that she would pronounce that she had collected it. I said no problem. Since then I have not been able to pay it because she wants full cash. Now, any slide misunderstanding she refers to it.

Secondly, immediately after the marriage,I was left with 60k which I thought we would manage to get a room and a parlour apartment for a start, just to do according to my pocket in my present rent house. But my wife insisted that we should let 2 bedroom flat at 100k but knowing fully that my source of income would not maintain it couple with other obligations that I would be discharging. She said, she would lend me 40k.
Thank God I was able to pay her the money. But still thinking over wasteful of almost 50k,while 150k can secure a land for bulding house in my area.

Thirdly, few months after our marriage. We were having misunderstanding and I carelessly said if the marriage can not work it better we go our separate ways, my wife holds on this statement and continue saying that she just need me to say it twice more and the marriage is over.

But I used to think over all these with other ones that I cant write, then, I ask myself if truly she loves me or may be am with wrong person.

What is your thought about this?

say it twice again,you no go die if she step aside.fish full river looking for Hunter!

slawormiir:
Damnnn niggarrrr
Isoright.....
See threat ....
Fear nor let the op talk am the second time again....
Bros op don't know what he has put his hand into.....
And children never start to dey come now..
If God want fuckkk you up the more now he go first give una triplet at once...

You think marriage na child's play...all those them bros don jazzy way never one hurry enter you think say them nor know wetin them dey do

But bros op ...where them for dey sell land 150k ...
Make I come buy like 20

I pray for the kinda fvckup...

Triplets. 2 boys and a girl

edogu:

My brother, uwa bu ofu mbia. Meaning our stay on this earth is just once, so make maximum use of it. Your wife seems to be taking advantage of your vulnerability. Do not allow anyone to push you around. There is nothing wrong in your wife lending money to you. But do make sure to pay back at your convenient time. Remember at your CONVENIENT TIME. Use dialogue to iron out your differences but if she still insist on using your vulnerability to blackmail, exploit or take advantage of you. Then it's time you put your foot down as a man. If she truly loves you, she'll mellow down and understand its no longer business as usual. But if she still insist? My brother, that woman wasn't meant for you. It's time to lock up and say goodbye for your sanity. Good luck!

I quite disagree abeg.. If he chases her away because he wants to claim the man, he would end up chasing all the women he re-marries because women will always complain in situations like the OP has created above. He can't pay a promised dowry. He collects money from his wife in the name of borrowing and can't pay back and he's telling her in the midst of issues to go her separate ways. Women are emotional beings that require wisdom while you relate with them..

LOL TO BE SINCERE I READ EVERYTHING WITH HARD LAUGH!!! OP SHE GAVE YOU AN IMPORTANT SIGN TO CUT OFF THE MARRIAGE WITH THE DOWRY ISSUE!! LOVE IS REALLY BLIND!!!! OMO THIS ONE NA LEGAL ONE CHANCE

Pay whatever you owe your wife to her. Do not do what you cannot afford going forward. Be careful what you say before her.
Be strong I your mind to overcome emotional abuse from her. Do not develop low esteem because of her attitude.

Know that for every married woman, there are 100 out there praying to take her place , no matter how poor the husband is.

Pray to God to bless you and work very hard. Don't count on her for support.

uote author=DEmejioba1 post=98123108]I got married in 2018,since then I have been battling with some unimaginable experiences with my wife even when I thought I married to a religious lady.

To cut the story short,

Prior to our marriage, things was not so good enough for me but because of age consideration of both of us we decided to wed with the help of our families.

The first thing that happened which caught me thinking afterward was that during our make up to wedding,my wife insisted that she's receiving 50k dowry which she knew I wouldn't be able to get it just shortly before the wedding. I told her that there is no way I could afford it then that she should reduce it may be to 20k, she said I should not worry that things will be sorted out. A day to the wedding she told me that when it's segment for dowry collection that she would pronounce that she had collected it. I said no problem. Since then I have not been able to pay it because she wants full cash. Now, any slide misunderstanding she refers to it.

Secondly, immediately after the marriage,I was left with 60k which I thought we would manage to get a room and a parlour apartment for a start, just to do according to my pocket in my present rent house. But my wife insisted that we should let 2 bedroom flat at 100k but knowing fully that my source of income would not maintain it couple with other obligations that I would be discharging. She said, she would lend me 40k.
Thank God I was able to pay her the money. But still thinking over wasteful of almost 50k,while 150k can secure a land for bulding house in my area.

Thirdly, few months after our marriage. We were having misunderstanding and I carelessly said if the marriage can not work it better we go our separate ways, my wife holds on this statement and continue saying that she just need me to say it twice more and the marriage is over.

But I used to think over all these with other ones that I cant write, then, I ask myself if truly she loves me or may be am with wrong person.

What is your thought about this?[/quote]

She loves you and you are not likely with the wrong person. You have refused to recognize your change of status, marriage is not for kids if you are not ready to be elastic, be called out of your comfort zone, be ready to sacrifice, be willing to accommodate and go the extra mile to increase your income. Take this seriously, at the early stage of marriage some unexpected painful adjustment will beckon on you to make which if you are not very careful may lead you to sum up marriage as a burden and a bondage, and may lead you to seeking a quick exit route which you may forever regret as there is no royal road to success.

My advise TO YOU:
Henceforth refuse to be pushed to air all that comes to your mind, you may regret it later and even if you don't your wife may forever find it difficult to forget such utterances.
Rome was not built in a day, don't regret your wife decision to live in a better apartment it may be a spring board needed to liberate you from your extreme conservative past. Live in your flat while you plan on your future bungalow, after all you have an understanding a supportive partner.
Even if she's not your perfect picture work on her with love, life is too short to live it in self pity and regret be a man.

Marriage isn't for everyone. I read some comments and I've come to realize the modern wave of feminism blowing this generation has turned most of our men to masochists. They just marry. No substance, no true companionship, no deep understanding of each other, no love. To these weak dudes, women are doing them a favour by doing some basic crap men do everytime yet get no applause for. The op is fvcked already cos I don't see profound love in this home. You probably married cos of some self esteem issues or age considerations...now it's yours to deal with for the rest of your lives. All I know is that woman can never be your last recourse for any sort of emotional support. Your marriage is purely transactional. Deal with it.

DEmejioba1:
I got married in 2018,since then I have been battling with some unimaginable experiences with my wife even when I thought I married to a religious lady.

To cut the story short,

Prior to our marriage, things was not so good enough for me but because of age consideration of both of us we decided to wed with the help of our families.

The first thing that happened which caught me thinking afterward was that during our make up to wedding,my wife insisted that she's receiving 50k dowry which she knew I wouldn't be able to get it just shortly before the wedding. I told her that there is no way I could afford it then that she should reduce it may be to 20k, she said I should not worry that things will be sorted out. A day to the wedding she told me that when it's segment for dowry collection that she would pronounce that she had collected it. I said no problem. Since then I have not been able to pay it because she wants full cash. Now, any slide misunderstanding she refers to it.

Secondly, immediately after the marriage,I was left with 60k which I thought we would manage to get a room and a parlour apartment for a start, just to do according to my pocket in my present rent house. But my wife insisted that we should let 2 bedroom flat at 100k but knowing fully that my source of income would not maintain it couple with other obligations that I would be discharging. She said, she would lend me 40k.
Thank God I was able to pay her the money. But still thinking over wasteful of almost 50k,while 150k can secure a land for bulding house in my area.

Thirdly, few months after our marriage. We were having misunderstanding and I carelessly said if the marriage can not work it better we go our separate ways, my wife holds on this statement and continue saying that she just need me to say it twice more and the marriage is over.

But I used to think over all these with other ones that I cant write, then, I ask myself if truly she loves me or may be am with wrong person.

What is your thought about this?

Which kain wahala be this...

So you had to bother all the elders on nairaland on nothing cos I don't even see any issue here.

You are married to one of the most amazing women on earth. Please keep her and don't ever let her go.

And less I forget, please try your best to look for money to pay her dowry fast cos until you do that, you can't call her your wife and paying her dowry will add to her value and will also make her happy and valued...Apparently she must have used her money to pay and only waiting for a refund.

My regards to her... Cheers

DEmejioba1:
I got married in 2018,since then I have been battling with some unimaginable experiences with my wife even when I thought I married to a religious lady.

To cut the story short,

Prior to our marriage, things was not so good enough for me but because of age consideration of both of us we decided to wed with the help of our families.

The first thing that happened which caught me thinking afterward was that during our make up to wedding,my wife insisted that she's receiving 50k dowry which she knew I wouldn't be able to get it just shortly before the wedding. I told her that there is no way I could afford it then that she should reduce it may be to 20k, she said I should not worry that things will be sorted out. A day to the wedding she told me that when it's segment for dowry collection that she would pronounce that she had collected it. I said no problem. Since then I have not been able to pay it because she wants full cash. Now, any slide misunderstanding she refers to it.

Secondly, immediately after the marriage,I was left with 60k which I thought we would manage to get a room and a parlour apartment for a start, just to do according to my pocket in my present rent house. But my wife insisted that we should let 2 bedroom flat at 100k but knowing fully that my source of income would not maintain it couple with other obligations that I would be discharging. She said, she would lend me 40k.
Thank God I was able to pay her the money. But still thinking over wasteful of almost 50k,while 150k can secure a land for bulding house in my area.

Thirdly, few months after our marriage. We were having misunderstanding and I carelessly said if the marriage can not work it better we go our separate ways, my wife holds on this statement and continue saying that she just need me to say it twice more and the marriage is over.

But I used to think over all these with other ones that I cant write, then, I ask myself if truly she loves me or may be am with wrong person.

What is your thought about this?

You are lucky you live in an area where things are cheap, two bedroom for 100k, wow well from the look of things a side huzzle will help you. Try and grow your income a little,money makes marriage sweeter. She is just reacting the way most women do in terms of financial crisis in a family

Omo, how about people wey their salary pass one million?

You go still Hand am over to woman? She might know about it and can withdraw for herself and our children only at my approval

Administration1:
Guy, pay her the money (50k dowry) and when they pay you your salary, just give all to her.
Get a side hustle and make money from there, don't ever take from the salary,

JudgeKronos:
Oga,
I bet my January salary, your wife is from Imo State...

Shatap!!!

I'd rather stay single...


Mtewww

Kapilta:
Honestly after reading this your gibberish, i think your wife married the wrong man actually and not what you insinuate.

Buy 150k land so you can join in building another set of slums in 2021 when we are already tired of the ones that abound everywhere. Poverty mentality kill you there.

And the lady is even supporting you one way or the other while pushing you to become your best version but poverty mentality has taken over your body and soul already.

Useless lots, when they find angels trying to bring out the best out of them in life they start to complain because they are so used to status quo. Nonsense. Poverty mentality kee you dia once more.

Chai.
Na uppercut you give am so ooo

JudgeKronos:
Oga,
I bet my January salary, your wife is from Imo State...

if your sisters are like that , u deal with it and leave our IMO sister alone. for the fact u were unable to get anyone of them does not give the temerity to be spewing out trash..plz and deal with your heartbreak elsewhere and leave our IMO babes alone.

Don't ever borrow money from your wife if she voluntarily offers maybe u can take and return as soon as possible

Is only two things that got my mind...renting House for 60k and buying a land for 150k...which state is that.

JudgeKronos:
Oga,
I bet my January salary, your wife is from Imo State...

Imo state no dey collect 50k dowry oga

Avast:


RisenPhoenix1

I saw it earlier, but didn't want to grace it with a response if not for your mention. I'm actually speechless as to how to advise him. The op is the author of all his misfortunes, yet he's wondering whether he married the right woman. A woman is how you train her. Let me write out an analogy and tell me how you will advice such a person. Here goes:

I bought a brand new Toyota Hilux, tear rubber on credit. I've still not been able to pay the seller and he keeps incessantly reminding me of my debt, even though he gave me a receipt in advance.

I don't like to check the water levels in my radiator, and sometimes when I do and there's no water, the tap is too far from my garage so I'll drive it without topping the water. Recently it started overheating, that was what first got me thinking.

Brake oil is too expensive, so I don't gauge the brake oil levels in my car. After two brake failures leading to accidents, I'm getting confused about what to do.

I forgot to put engine oil inside my car after I drained the sump, and my engine knocked. Now it's not even moving at all,and the cost is prohibitive.

All these incidents make me wonder whether Toyota Hilux is the right car for me at all. Please advise.

1,2,3...go.

JudgeKronos:
Oga,
I bet my January salary, your wife is from Imo State...

Hahahaha This one shock me.
Watin IMO and Awka Ibom girls do una for this Nairaland sef.

The stereotype about girls from these 2 state is getting too much lol

malcom1X:
Guy be a man.
Don't ever borrow money from your wife to do anything. If you don't have tell her you don't have. That her money should be spent on her children.

Pay her dowry, don't owe her, it's her money. She saved you from embarrassment.

Don't you know it's a sin to take money from your wife. It will lead to sickness and possibly death. As long as you take money from your wife, you will never have wealth. It is against the order of nature and the heavens. You better remove that habit now if you want to live long.

Hey married man,

From your write up, poverty is the main issue here. Work hard and pray hard to break the yoke of struggle and poverty in your life and then see your wife attitude towards you.

You are not capable of marriage financially and partly maturity issue hence this complain.

Get a role model in marriage to guide you.
Stop giving excuses bro. Face your marriage, make it work and don't be a coward.

If you don't know God then this is the time to know him.

Good luck�

Ordinary 50k you couldn't pay as dowry and you couldn't afford to pay 100k house rent yet you rushed into marriage. Your wife pretended you paid it and she still helped you pay house rent and you call yourself a husband. Must you marry at that time? Are you older than Abraham when he married Sarah? I feel like slapping you right now. You will continue to be at the mercy of your wife as long as you don't have sense. That's how you simps go about disgracing men. This is a lesson to other men.

DEmejioba1:
I got married in 2018,since then I have been battling with some unimaginable experiences with my wife even when I thought I married to a religious lady.

To cut the story short,

Prior to our marriage, things was not so good enough for me but because of age consideration of both of us we decided to wed with the help of our families.

The first thing that happened which caught me thinking afterward was that during our make up to wedding,my wife insisted that she's receiving 50k dowry which she knew I wouldn't be able to get it just shortly before the wedding. I told her that there is no way I could afford it then that she should reduce it may be to 20k, she said I should not worry that things will be sorted out. A day to the wedding she told me that when it's segment for dowry collection that she would pronounce that she had collected it. I said no problem. Since then I have not been able to pay it because she wants full cash. Now, any slide misunderstanding she refers to it.

Secondly, immediately after the marriage,I was left with 60k which I thought we would manage to get a room and a parlour apartment for a start, just to do according to my pocket in my present rent house. But my wife insisted that we should let 2 bedroom flat at 100k but knowing fully that my source of income would not maintain it couple with other obligations that I would be discharging. She said, she would lend me 40k.
Thank God I was able to pay her the money. But still thinking over wasteful of almost 50k,while 150k can secure a land for bulding house in my area.

Thirdly, few months after our marriage. We were having misunderstanding and I carelessly said if the marriage can not work it better we go our separate ways, my wife holds on this statement and continue saying that she just need me to say it twice more and the marriage is over.

But I used to think over all these with other ones that I cant write, then, I ask myself if truly she loves me or may be am with wrong person.

What is your thought about this?

she might love you, but the condition you are subjecting her to is frustrating her. Step up the hustle and things will surely change. Mind you only people with pepper can boldly threaten their wife with breakup when you don't mean it.

Think9ja:


Chai.
Na uppercut you give am so ooo

Would have given him something worse if i could.