.

That’s for uneducated or poor people... my mom always told my brother and I she is saving for her retirement because she doesn’t want to be a burden to us in old age. She has money saved up but my brother and I will still send her Small money.... this mentality that ppl should kill themselves to help their family needs to stop

OrdinaryNigeria:
Wat do u mean by one owe his parents, nothing?

As for me ,u owe them everything.

We are africans

That bank charge part funny lol try kuda and enjoy peace.

This is the dilemma I'm in now, my parents don't seem to understand at all. I'm a very stingy person to them meanwhile I earn around 12-20k per month

You are rich o. DStv bills and weekly airtime

If you like don't plan for yourself, you will soon come and tell us how Femi or his wife treated you despite all you did for Femi.

.

Jelzin2412:


Walahi God bless you for this master piece...I tolled a line similar to his until I borrowed some sense. Call me stingy! No wahala. But if you no help yourself OYO na that my sibling case. Yes I want to help but I have to work with you and not feed you like a toddler..

Kudos for your piece of advice

Thank you.

Some of you are very extreme sha

yusufu16:


way to go. I dont give a f***k about family pressure. My kobo no dey go to any of my family members except may be my parents. Everyone should go and hustle for him/herself. No family member has helped me in this life, so nobody should expect anything from me.

Antoeni:
ON TOP ONE MAN HEAD:

1. NEPA don bring bill
2. Buy bread when u are coming
3. Buy Egg when u are coming
4. Gas don finish
5. Kerosine don finish
6a. Generator no gree start
6b. Buy fuel for generator when u are coming
7. Car don get flat tyre, e no gree start
8. School fees don show
9. DStv/GOtv etc don stop to dey show
10. Dem come ask for vigilante money
11. Month don end for Lesson teacher
12. Biscuit and Happy Hour nko?
13. Dem go begin report the children to u as u dey enter
14. If u never build, Landlord matter na madding
15. Dem go still shook hand for ur pocket pack d small change join..
16. Tell u d pikin dey run temperature like say u be doctor...
17a. Buy them credit
17b. Buy them data
18. Not excluding Suya, Cat fish etc on some nights
19. Fridge, pressing iron, fan etc. go stop, another headache..
20. Dem still wan go amusement park on public holidays
21. How much be the salary sef..

I come go hospital for fever, doctor say I get High BP.

How man no go get High BP..

And

On top all, you must not disappoint in the inner room.. dem go still give you orders,

*"HONEY HARDER"*

Please, let's take it easy......our lives matters.
With or without us, life will continue.

E no dey easy sha,
GOD Blessings be with all us

May God help us my brother wlh it's not easy may God help us, All I care now is for my parents to be comfortable, I can't marry a Nigerian woman now to come and stress me, may God help our hustling men.

Akpuobi1:
Been the first child in a poor or average home in this part of the globe can be a nightmare.

Talking from experience, it hasn't been easy even though I try to treat the most pressing issues in the family. What I do from my end is that once I get my salary I remove 50% which either is invested or saved for future investment when the money get to a reasonable amount. Thereafter, both my problems and that of the family is solved from the remaining 50%. Any issue not solved this month or captured in the plan is moved to next month.

The only problems that can make me go beyond my plan or not apply this approach i stated above is when life-threatening situation happens or sudden ill-health of a family member.

Most times, I don't yield to all my siblings demands especially when the demand is not threatening or I figured out is for frivolities.

OP you also have to invest in youself to improve and earn more at work or even start your own business because you won't do 9-5 for the rest of your life. Been the Messiah of your family will not enable you achieve this.

If you were not born, the will still find a way to solve there problems and live a decent life.

It's not easy wlh especially if you are the first born in the family so many pressure couple with woman wahala on top

HappyNigerian:
It’s the beginning of a new year and that means new bills and more responsibilities and thinking back at last year just gives me some sort of joy at how I have planned this year for my bills.

My family lives in Ibadan and I live in Lagos and I must confess that it is such a struggle to pay their bills while working in Lagos here. I am the first child so I have to send my family money every month, and my siblings every week.

My family DSTV bill is also something I have to do monthly while I also ensure that all my siblings get airtime on their phone every week. It is such a traumatic experience when I remember that as I am planning all this small small money that when you calculate it, it becomes big money, I have to also plan bank charges inside of it as well.
I moved out of the house at a point to make ends meet as the first son of the family especially as my parents are getting old and I’m their only source of livelihood as it is right now, some people say you do not owe your parents anything but well, I do not believe in this and I take care of my parents and see it as my duty and what I owe to them to do.

Schools have resumed, Nishola, my sister needs to go back and would need fees and other miscellaneous expenses. Femi my brother is preparing for his WAEC to enable him get into the university. My parents of course have medical bills to be sorted as well every month.

When I calculate this in total every month including bank charges, it is over 100,000 monthly that I spend last year not until this January when someone mentioned how PalmPay gives people rewards when they do transactions. At first, and as usual, I did not believe it but that is not the point of the thread.

The point of writing this thread is really to ask, how do African Children deal with the numerous bills that they have to pay for the family and friends?

Guy, I thought I was the only one passing through this. Honestly, I'm sinking and dying gradually. I need God's intervention.

klickstar:
My brother you're killing yourself gradually and according to your post you're not married yet
I laugh in egun
Marry first then you will know khaki no be leather you better place everyone now before they label your wife as a WITCH

God help us, that's why women live long I can't kill myself wlh

GeneralPula:
Family problems no dey finish...Nah to send wetin you get whenever you get.

But I kinda believe, as a man, if you wanna find your feet on time, you need to disconnect yourself rom family first, by staying far away from them..

Good idea that's what I do, I switched off my phones. I disconnected all entitled girls from my list, until I was stable

yusufu16:


way to go. I dont give a f***k about family pressure. My kobo no dey go to any of my family members except may be my parents. Everyone should go and hustle for him/herself. No family member has helped me in this life, so nobody should expect anything from me.

Honestly only our parents owe us

justosee:

My advice to you,use PalmPay to pay the bills.

Why Palmpay?

yusufu16:


There was a time every call i receive is for them asking for money. So now i dont pick there calls. I dont give damn. Let everyone go and hustle.

Lol God help us

Kokaine:
Its too much.
People even know the date for my salary. Call from every corner. Especially friends. Always borrowing. And to pay back will be a problem. The annoying thing is that I never really benefit financially from them. Imagine someone calling me to borrow him money because his rent expired. As if he did not know one year ago that he needs to save for his rent. This is why I live a quiet life now. No posting any picture or status anywhere. Make dem no come feel say I get money

I will search for you, you think being a man is beans

mmsen:
Telling yourself that you must is the problem. You do not owe them, they elected to have children.

Africans need to learn what 'accountability' means. If people choose to have children they are responsible for those children, not the other way around. That is one of the biggest problems on this continent, the wildly irrational, ass backwards thinking.

This continent will remain the way that it is until 'elders' are held to account for their foolishness. The culture of parental entitlement is toxic.

But sir what can we do. Do we leave our parents alone "

Sheriman:

You are 100% correct this is what is really happening in an average Nigerian home.. it is saddened my heart. Poverty is rampant

God help us in this country

alexola20:
One can only owe a good parent something or everything. But the bad ones,you owe NIKT!Yes I typed that NOTHING.
Patents that have zero life plan for their children,no education or whatsoever and still want those children to
become doctors,engineers, lawyers with zero plan.They never even have plans for themselves.This kind of parents,nobody owes them anything as they seem not to have pay their dues than open legs to bring children they can never cater for to this world.
Thanks but no thanks.

I don't agree with this assertion honestly

Psoul:
Be somehow stingy and hard-hearted.
Get seriously focused and make as much money as u can
Establish yourself and build strong financial channels
Then come back as a wealthy person
Help all you can
I tell you, they will forget all the years u were not there for them.

If you try to help all that come ur way when you were still struggling to stand
You will not build urslf and may not even be able to build the person u wanted to help
At the end, both of u will remain at the same poverty level.
At some other time, the person u helped may not be able to help u later if things change for u.
So concentrate on urslf first.
Stand before you want to make another to stand.
Don't try to be a solution when you yourself is still a problem that needs to be solved.

This is the best advice I swear

emmanuelewumi:



You will remove the excess load for the sake of your sanity, health and financial stability.

A lot of young people now have high blood pressure because they are carrying loads that are too heavy for them.

I swear

Easy to handle.
1, 10% or your first fruit to God and see how God works.
2. Pay your bills- this is very important and seperate a reasonable amount of money for mum and dad.Honor your parents so your days may be long. If you cannot give them money, you give them food items or neccessary house items like soap etc
3. Save at least 15% of your salary, do ajo. Ajo forces you to save and discipline you with money. Join a trusted pool of individuals who are doing so. Trust me on this ,
4. Pay yourself e.g buying something for yourself , it could be as little as buying a tshirt you like. Why? You need to do so for sanity. You must enjoy the fruit of your labor.
5. Then take care of siblings , friends and so on if you can and you cannot. Then sorry, you are only human , you are not their parents or their savior.
7. Do not loan an amount that you cannot give freely in the 1st place. Always work with the mindset that they may not pay u back.

If you give every friends and family who are always asking for money. You will not have any money saved at all. And when you go broke, they will be same people saying that when you have money , how come you did not save.

HappyNigerian:
It’s the beginning of a new year and that means new bills and more responsibilities and thinking back at last year just gives me some sort of joy at how I have planned this year for my bills.

My family lives in Ibadan and I live in Lagos and I must confess that it is such a struggle to pay their bills while working in Lagos here. I am the first child so I have to send my family money every month, and my siblings every week.

My family DSTV bill is also something I have to do monthly while I also ensure that all my siblings get airtime on their phone every week. It is such a traumatic experience when I remember that as I am planning all this small small money that when you calculate it, it becomes big money, I have to also plan bank charges inside of it as well.
I moved out of the house at a point to make ends meet as the first son of the family especially as my parents are getting old and I’m their only source of livelihood as it is right now, some people say you do not owe your parents anything but well, I do not believe in this and I take care of my parents and see it as my duty and what I owe to them to do.

Schools have resumed, Nishola, my sister needs to go back and would need fees and other miscellaneous expenses. Femi my brother is preparing for his WAEC to enable him get into the university. My parents of course have medical bills to be sorted as well every month.

When I calculate this in total every month including bank charges, it is over 100,000 monthly that I spend last year not until this January when someone mentioned how PalmPay gives people rewards when they do transactions. At first, and as usual, I did not believe it but that is not the point of the thread.

The point of writing this thread is really to ask, how do African Children deal with the numerous bills that they have to pay for the family and friends?

you owe your parents care,that's basic BUT YOU DON'T OWE YOUR SIBLINGS ANYTHING. If you are supposed to give them ₦2k give them ₦500 as a test to see their reaction.what you are doing is the genesis of ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY. the day you say you don't have money to give or you have some personal expenses to sort out you will start to hear

Broda you were never like this before,you have changed

If you don't have a girlfriend , finance or wife, you are already creating ready made problems for her because when you are married your own personal bills will increase such that you will not be able to take care of your siblings like before and not because you don't want to do it so guess what?


Your wife will be the one to bear the brunt of the missiles your family throw at her because they'll think she is the reason why you don't take care of them again hence the statement SINCE YOU CAME INTO OUR BROTHER'S LIFE HE HAS CHANGED TOWARDS US.moreover you're not the one that gave birth to your siblings, there's a time when they need to carry their Cross.YOU ARE NOT A FAMILY DONKEY EVERYONE WILL PUT THEIR PROBLEMS ON YOUR BACK


REMEMBER TAKERS DON'T HAVE LIMITS

moreover how will you save for the rainy day when everyone has dumped their financial problems on your back?


If you're carrying all your familys problems who will BE THERE FOR YOU TO SORT OUT YOUR OWN ISSUES TOO WHEN YOU NEED HELP?

I had a friend like you.lets call her Becky and she was her family donkey just like you


She didn't have any money to even take care of herself.anytime she collects salary,90 percent will go to her younger brothers.she didn't even wear good clothes on her body.it was so bad that I couldn't take it anymore,I had to tell her to come to my house to take Rice,garri,palmoil,semo,yam and other foodstuffs. the annoying part is that if I give her all these things,she will carry everything and send to her younger brother in school.she was always doing JAMA JAMA work here and there.even Saturday she's supposed to rest she will go and hustle.all throughout I knew her she never had any moment of rest all for her brother.


So one Saturday she was rushing to go to a party where they said she will do usher work and get small change.it was on her way she had an accident and died meanwhile before she died I remember I told her to at least Live for herself for 1 day.enjoy your sweat.take yourself out and spoil yourself,buy clothes for yourself.for where,all the things I told him fell on deaf ears


Now she has died her brothers she was slaving her life for have all found their ways.it was her office people that eventually gave her her remaining entitlement.it was her ENTITLEMENTs at work they used to bury her


Now you remind me of her.if you aren't careful,you will be like my friend.your family will use you till you die so much that you won't have a life for yourself

ProphetofOdin:
Too much family responsibilities on this part of the world. That's why even some of us that earn a living still feel we are poor cos of the number of dependants.

It's not easy if you are with a ungrateful woman it will worse

Zanxx:


Anytime I talk about moving out, the emotional blackmail starts. You will be surprised by the number of people who call to talk me out of it.

I can feel your pains even though I haven't found myself in such situations, but take it this way, those people calling you back try one day to ask them for a certain sum of money and see their response, do this continuously and any dat they fail to deliver, take your final decision to leave the house and use their response to your call for help to also blackmail them and not beg you out of your decision. And when you finally leave, don't forget to help your parents the little way you can and as for your siblings whatever you will do should be from your mind..

Bouz:
Especially on the guys, Oga na God oh. it's not been easy

I swear

Slimfeez:
.... It's ain't easy at all when you are the head of the house, and no one is there to be of help. I will suggest if we want to leave this circle, have multiple stream of income. I am a living testimony and sometime it pissed me off whenever I received a call especially when it involved sorting out some bills, I have multiple investment running in some legit investment company, so whatever I get from there monthly, I use it to settle some of the bills... If you care to learn more about what you can do, don't hesitate to comment below.

Boss can you please share some of those legit investment companies..

Offpoint1:

Na diz kind plenty wahala make men dey naturally kpai first before women.... Widows full everywhere.

God help us bro

Zanxx:


Anytime I talk about moving out, the emotional blackmail starts. You will be surprised by the number of people who call to talk me out of it.

.
Eyya

donbachi:
When dem ask for 20k..me i dey send 5k.when dem ask for 50k,i send 10..i no go kill my sef.

so if I need 40k I'll simply ask for 200k. simple arithmetic

descarado:
The problem is our parents don't plan for old age.
We have that sense of entitlement that our children must take care of us.

We that are complaining are making the same mistakes.

)
We will not make the same mistake by GOD grace