₦airaland Forum

Jonra:
You're a rare breed!
But it doesn't sound like you grew up in Nigeria?

PS: The future is not woman! the future is human

Rare breed? Because she plays video games and exercise in the morning?

justosee:
sick comment. cheating is the only thing I can never think of forgiving in a relationship.

So if you wife beat up ir mom you wld forgive her?

FreeSpirited:
Guys, When you want to date married women, women who are like 5 to10yrs above in marriage are the most vulnerable to fall into your trap. Many times they crave attention..or are just bored of their husband.
.
It's not gainsay when they say the first 5 to 7 years is the most turbulent in marriage that can break or make a marriage.
.
The story this young woman detailed above is a typical cycle of almost all marriages. The point our OP finds herself, for an average lady, after trying to endure or make things work will just succumb to the pressure of guys out there...and before u say jack..smart bold guys are already pounding her pvssy with all alacrity.. It's natural these days.. especially if you are in the business of chyking/chopping married women. You will know this.
.
It's only a matter of time if nothing is done before this woman starts riding the BBC of a guy who gives her attention and tickle her fancy...Naso e dey start...Nothing new.
.
That's why to me, fidelity in marriage is overrated..cos most times couples have broken their vow long before their significant other realises.
But in her situation, some women will deliberately go out and give in to the advances of their admirer just to kill boredom, depression and feel happy. To hell with marital vows..women do this most times to be Happy. However, the smart ones still find a way to balance home demand by not making it affect the integrity of the marriage...what they do is just flow with the marriage and not stress too much for the attention of their busy husband since he's not ready to be disturbed.
.
In thesame vein, the busy husband most times is also somewhere cheating with a university or polytechnic slayqueen cos he's also bored of her wife....That's the paradox of marriage.
.
You see... cheating on both sides maintains the marriage and happiness of both party codedly. Argue with me all you care...that's the reality..
Meanwhile, the stupid couples when they start the cheating game, they transfer the bottled anger and aggression on their partner which usually cause breakup......While the coded smart ones maintain their marriage and we keep praising and complimenting their marriage as the best thing that ever happened since Adam and Eve.
May God give us wisdom in all we do.

You're a wise man, your last paragraph nailed it.

Not just those two things, she's an intelligent lady who is open to new experiences - this is a huge bonus.

In summary, her brain is active and her heart is open, you have no idea how hard it is to find her type - a woman who is evolving in body, mind, and soul in 21st-century marriage. Baba, only 0.1% of Nigerian girls fall in that category.

jelel6:
Rare breed? Because she plays video games and exercise in the morning?

u guys should put some spark in ur marriage then nau
take some vacation,travel and spend sometime with each other
Marriage is not always about being in the kitchen pounding fufu or pounded yam while the man is in the sitting room with beer watching sports
we nigerians should try and be romantic biko

Those days, our great grandfather will marry 3 wives and each of them will have their own hut only when he wants to service them or if they wanted servicing they come to the man's hut.

This infact made the marriage more interesting

Nowadays, husbands and wives stay in the same room, they see each other each day, why wont the drive die, over familiarity kills marriage.

Danhoys:
I could totally relate to you dear op, but I'm sure we're the lucky ones.

First of all, you married someone you love, someone you find both romantically and sexually attractive.

That's a plus.

When I and my hubby were passing through this turbulent phase, what helped was having similar interest.

I'm hugely into politics, and so is my husband. Trust me, there is always something to gist on when he's back from work.

Aside from politics, we're both hardcore gamers too, and we're already saving to get PS4, and it doesn't stop us from giving our young kids the attention they deserve.

Aside that, we both have huge interest in other areas too, like science. There is always something to talk about.

I've always love men who are built, and my husband knows this.

Every weekend, we go running, and we help each stay fit. Sometimes I teases him that he should be a model, and I do take alluring pictures of him too.

I'm a super intelligent lady, (not bragging), so I ensured that my husband's intellect matched with mine before saying 'I do!'

We've been married for 5 years now, and the love and fun is still there. During leave, we always make it a duty to travel to another state, and see an interesting place.

A week vacation doesn't hurt, and it has a way to rekindle the love we have for each other.

When you marry your friend, you discover that your love is new every morning lol.

Work and children can't steal love away, that's an excuse people give to avoid talking about how they no longer find their partner attractive or interesting.

I don't want to talk about sex, cause ours is on a whole new level. Sex shouldn't be the traditional offing of light and missionary thrusting.

That's boring!!! It needs spicing every time or it becomes boring and a chore.

I wouldn't like to go into details, before some religious folks label us sinners.

You have work to do, and I'm sure you've gotten a cue from my write up. Wishing you more bliss in marriage.

well! My own is did u eventually get the ps4?

thebosstrevor1:
Those days, our great grandfather will marry 3 wives and each of them will have their own hut only when he wants to service them or if they wanted servicing will they come to the man's hut.

Over familiarity kills everything

pls dat kine marriage wont work in this 21st century
we humans we evolve

Danhoys:
I could totally relate to you dear op, but I'm sure we're the lucky ones.

First of all, you married someone you love, someone you find both romantically and sexually attractive.

That's a plus.

When I and my hubby were passing through this turbulent phase, what helped was having similar interest.

I'm hugely into politics, and so is my husband. Trust me, there is always something to gist on when he's back from work.

Aside from politics, we're both hardcore gamers too, and we're already saving to get PS4, and it doesn't stop us from giving our young kids the attention they deserve.

Aside that, we both have huge interest in other areas too, like science. There is always something to talk about.

I've always love men who are built, and my husband knows this.

Every weekend, we go running, and we help each stay fit. Sometimes I teases him that he should be a model, and I do take alluring pictures of him too.

I'm a super intelligent lady, (not bragging), so I ensured that my husband's intellect matched with mine before saying 'I do!'

We've been married for 5 years now, and the love and fun is still there. During leave, we always make it a duty to travel to another state, and see an interesting place.

A week vacation doesn't hurt, and it has a way to rekindle the love we have for each other.

When you marry your friend, you discover that your love is new every morning lol.

Work and children can't steal love away, that's an excuse people give to avoid talking about how they no longer find their partner attractive or interesting.

I don't want to talk about sex, cause ours is on a whole new level. Sex shouldn't be the traditional offing of light and missionary thrusting.

That's boring!!! It needs spicing every time or it becomes boring and a chore.

I wouldn't like to go into details, before some religious folks label us sinners.

You have work to do, and I'm sure you've gotten a cue from my write up. Wishing you more bliss in marriage.

Are you a man or a woman.

Your posts are just confusing

lefulefu:
pls dat kine marriage wont work in this 21st century
we humans we evolve

Lol

But having a separate room can work.

I know people that do this method and it works for them.

My idea is that when a couple see themselves too often, it kills the drive they have for each other to bring that drive back, a kind of spontaneity need to return.

Couples that usually travel because of work hardly have this problem of boredom because when they see each other the spark and the drive comes back

Yeye girls everywhere....

FreeSpirited:
Guys, When you want to date married women, women who are like 5 to10yrs above in marriage are the most vulnerable to fall into your trap. Many times they crave attention..or are just bored of their husband.
.
It's not gainsay when they say the first 5 to 7 years is the most turbulent in marriage that can break or make a marriage.
.
The story this young woman detailed above is a typical cycle of almost all marriages. The point our OP finds herself, for an average lady, after trying to endure or make things work will just succumb to the pressure of guys out there...and before u say jack..smart bold guys are already pounding her pvssy with all alacrity.. It's natural these days.. especially if you are in the business of chyking/chopping married women. You will know this.
.
It's only a matter of time if nothing is done before this woman starts riding the BBC of a guy who gives her attention and tickle her fancy...Naso e dey start...Nothing new.
.
That's why to me, fidelity in marriage is overrated..cos most times couples have broken their vow long before their significant other realises.
But in her situation, some women will deliberately go out and give in to the advances of their admirer just to kill boredom, depression and feel happy. To hell with marital vows..women do this most times to be Happy. However, the smart ones still find a way to balance home demand by not making it affect the integrity of the marriage...what they do is just flow with the marriage and not stress too much for the attention of their busy husband since he's not ready to be disturbed.
.
In thesame vein, the busy husband most times is also somewhere cheating with a university or polytechnic slayqueen cos he's also bored of her wife....That's the paradox of marriage.
.
You see... cheating on both sides maintains the marriage and happiness of both party codedly. Argue with me all you care...that's the reality..
Meanwhile, the stupid couples when they start the cheating game, they transfer the bottled anger and aggression on their partner which usually cause breakup......While the coded smart ones maintain their marriage and we keep praising and complimenting their marriage as the best thing that ever happened since Adam and Eve.
May God give us wisdom in all we do.

Plenty of the "smart bold guys" who made a career out of sleeping with married women in festac town, are now being replaced by another set of unfortunate fellows.
They wasted their most valuable time for laying a strong foundation for the future, and placed it in married women's hands.
You look into their eyes, what you see is hopelessness.
After all the fantasy about sex, when you finally have it, it's not worth it.
Be careful.....

Each to their own

tunjijones:
So if you wife beat up ir mom you wld forgive her?

only a sick woman beat up her mother-in-law

CalmElder:
Plenty of the "smart bold guys" who made a career out of sleeping with married women in festac town, are now being replaced by another set of unfortunate fellows.
They wasted their most valuable time for laying a strong foundation for the future, and placed it in married women's hands.
You look into their eyes, what you see is hopelessness.
After all the fantasy about sex, when you finally have it, it's not worth it.
Be careful.....

Most Nigerians look into hopelessness today by virtue of being in this useless country....Nigeria is the greatest cos of hopelessness in Nigeria...fix Nigeria, and the ones u attribute to sex will drastically reduce Ogbeni

FreeSpirited:
Most Nigerians look into hopelessness today by virtue of being in this useless country....Nigeria is the greatest cos of hopelessness in Nigeria...fix Nigeria, and the ones u attribute to sex will drastically reduce Ogbeni

The more reason to be focused.
You live in a country such as this and sex is all you have at the front of your mind?
E go red for you.

CalmElder:
The more reason to be focused.
You live in a country such as this and sex is all you have at the front of your mind?
E go red for you.

I only made social commentary...hope you understand....Hope you understand if I dint make the comments people will still chyke and fvvck married women...so I don't know why u are barking at me

Jonra:
Not just those two things, she's an intelligent lady who is open to new experiences - this is a huge bonus.

In summary, her brain is active and her heart is open, you have no idea how hard it is to find her type - a woman who is evolving in body, mind, and soul in 21st-century marriage. Baba, only 0.1% of Nigerian girls fall in that category.

Okay, fair enough.

thebosstrevor1:
Lol

But having a separate room can work.

I know people that do this method and it works for them.

My idea is that when a couple see themselves too often, it kills the drive they have for each other to bring that drive back, a kind of spontaneity need to return.

Couples that usually travel because of work hardly have this problem of boredom because when they see each other the spark and the drive comes back

No i dont believe its over familiarity
its about no spark in the marriage
i dont know about op but a number of nigerians marry partners they dont like
in this day and age many couples believe that marriage is a duty rather than marriage is something you enjoy
u can imagine if u are a guy now of marriage age and the girl wey u really like ur parents refuse her cos she is from another tribe
then your family pastor tell u to marry this girl cos he had a vision that the girl would bring wealth into your life
u dont like the girl but u go ahead to marry her for the fullfilment of wealth you to marry so and so girl wey come from a very good family
u go ahead to marry such a girl
now tell me..will u be happy in such a marriage?
even to discuss with such a woman go be stress
the only time u have sex with her is only when u want to make a baby
after a time the thing tire u sef and u go start searching for your ex on facebook to re ignite your passion
your wife also will get tired and she still start searching for her ex too or she gets a toyboy
na so a number of nigerian marriages be
even polygamy dat u talking about..a number of women in polygamous marriages cheats on their husbands

FreeSpirited:
I only made social commentary...hope you understand....Hope you understand if I dint make the comments people will still chyke and fvvck married women...so I don't know why u are barking at me

I'm just making my own contribution in helping society to keep things in perspective.
No vex. I no go bark again.

wealthyhenry:
Your marriage is 5years and you have a son that's 17years old according to one other thread you created.

Is God not wonderful?

..
And from her other thread about her dirty counsin, she claimed the counsin who is 28 was way other than her..
Meaning she should be around 24/25..and her son that was caught with hardcore porn in his phone is 17...

In all, is like she gave her at a very tender age of 7 or 8.

Nawa.

Danhoys:
I could totally relate to you dear op, but I'm sure we're the lucky ones.

First of all, you married someone you love, someone you find both romantically and sexually attractive.

That's a plus.

When I and my hubby were passing through this turbulent phase, what helped was having similar interest.

I'm hugely into politics, and so is my husband. Trust me, there is always something to gist on when he's back from work.

Aside from politics, we're both hardcore gamers too, and we're already saving to get PS4, and it doesn't stop us from giving our young kids the attention they deserve.

Aside that, we both have huge interest in other areas too, like science. There is always something to talk about.

I've always love men who are built, and my husband knows this.

Every weekend, we go running, and we help each stay fit. Sometimes I teases him that he should be a model, and I do take alluring pictures of him too.

I'm a super intelligent lady, (not bragging), so I ensured that my husband's intellect matched with mine before saying 'I do!'

We've been married for 5 years now, and the love and fun is still there. During leave, we always make it a duty to travel to another state, and see an interesting place.

A week vacation doesn't hurt, and it has a way to rekindle the love we have for each other.

When you marry your friend, you discover that your love is new every morning lol.

Work and children can't steal love away, that's an excuse people give to avoid talking about how they no longer find their partner attractive or interesting.

I don't want to talk about sex, cause ours is on a whole new level. Sex shouldn't be the traditional offing of light and missionary thrusting.

That's boring!!! It needs spicing every time or it becomes boring and a chore.

I wouldn't like to go into details, before some religious folks label us sinners.

You have work to do, and I'm sure you've gotten a cue from my write up. Wishing you more bliss in marriage.

Please,if your husband Bleep up,I am already yours to marry because I am sure you are not a Nigerian woman

Whether this is true or not,this is the most sensible thing said by any nairaland woman this year

thebosstrevor1:
Those days, our great grandfather will marry 3 wives and each of them will have their own hut only when he wants to service them or if they wanted servicing will they come to the man's hut.

This infact made the marriage more interesting

Nowadays, husbands and wives stay in the same room, they see each other each day, why wont the drive die, over familiarity kills marriage.

Sense go kee u

lefulefu:
No i dont believe its over familiarity
its about no spark in the marriage
i dont know about op but a number of nigerians marry partners they dont like
in this day and age many couples believe that marriage is a duty rather than marriage is something you enjoy
u can imagine if u are a guy now of marriage age and the girl wey u really like ur parents refuse her cos she is from another tribe
then your family pastor tell u to marry this girl cos he had a vision that the girl would bring wealth into your life
u dont like the girl but u go ahead to marry her for the fullfilment of wealth you to marry so and so girl wey come from a very good family
u go ahead to marry such a girl
now tell me..will u be happy in such a marriage?
even to discuss with such a woman go be stress
the only time u have sex with her is only when u want to make a baby
after a time the thing tire u sef and u go start searching for your ex on facebook to re ignite your passion
your wife also will get tired and she still start searching for her ex too or she gets a toyboy
na so a number of nigerian marriages be
even polygamy dat u talking about..a number of women in polygamous marriages cheats on their husbands

It's not the case with what the op described up there. Both loved each other right from day one.

Ayo2004:
Please,if your husband Bleep up,I am already yours to marry because I am sure you are not a Nigerian woman

Whether this is true or not,this is the most sensible thing said by any nairaland woman this year

He/she can lie for africa ...

Rhodaogunpeju:
I decided to write this because I have come to realize that Love can get boring..
.
I remember when I met my husband , he was such a Nice and handsome Man. I mean I already decided if he ask me out I will say yes from the first day I met him but I still made him beg and purse me for a whole year before finally accepting to date him ..

6 months after our relationship we got married. and our marriage was bliss , I married a friend , we have our downs and quarell but we always make up before we sleep because of the fact that we made it compulsory that we must have a family prayer Every night , we usually settle most of our fights during these prayers ..

But sometimes marriages can get boring , you have gisted all the entire gist ,talk about everything talkable till there is actually nothing to talk about,. Then the husband starts drifting away .maybe he's got a new friend or found a new love ...sometime this new love might not be a person ,For instance my husband new love is politics..He's always working and when he's home he is either watching the News on Tv and even when he tries to talk to me he will be like "Baby can you believe what kai muhammad said again"..

And I'm just sitting like who and what is my concern with lai muhammad?... Yet he doesn't see my reaction,he just continues to talk untill we fall asleep.i listen to him because I have to he is my husband.

The love flame was slowly wearing our ,I mean he no longer wants me to wait for him before I eat. .. if I call him to inquire when he is coming back home , he replies with "I don't know but eat o.. don't wait for me "...

How about the sex life ... What use to be mind blowing sex is now just average .just because he's had too much if it ..I could also say the same about me..I mean before seeing my husband in boxers turns me on but now even if he's naked it doesn't seem to move me

Hmmm but regardless I still love my husband. .I have sat him down many times and talked about spicing things up but you know Men... Anyways the moral of my story is that when you marry ..marry someone that even when he/she changes you would still love them because trust me they will....
.

I think u guys should make "a together time" a couple times a week to just spend time together doing somethimg nice or something yous dont usually do together. Make love or have passionate sex more often. Start surprising each other in any little good ways often. Spice things up between you guys in the bedroom. Ask him his fantasies n him yours. Be spontaneous.
Also learn to have atleast a little interest in each others passions so yous can have more discussions together. Find little ways to change things. Wen hes home n watching tv walk out in your sexiest clothes give him a lap dance, dance seductively for him. When ur cooking dinner he could come behind u surprise u lift u up n carry u to the room while kissing your neck or he could even do it at the kitchen bench. Maybe go out for dinner or surprise lunch if u can afford it.
Make him a treasure map n he must follow the clues n find the treasure n youre the treasure in your sexiest lingere lol. I dont know just add spontaneity to ur lives good little surprises. Try make each other laugh more. Laughter is strong thing. People love to laugh n like being around people who make them laugh. Have a movie night each weekend together in front of the tv cuddled up watching a good film. Its easy to bring life back into a marraige i think unless theres really bad issues.
Its easy for people to get comfortable in relationships after a while. If he wont make an effort u do your best to surprise him n keep him guessing what youll do next n make him wanna rush home to you n to be around you.
N always talk things thru be open with each other. Tell him how ur feeling and that you want to spice things up that you love him n wat kinda marraige u want n ask him wat u can do to peak his interest again n give ideas aswell and work on it together. If he loves you he will want to.
Who doesnt want to be all gooey in love and have their heart racing when the one they love touches them. In bed learn to be more sensual n erotic. Do things that surprise him things hed like that maybe he never thought youd do.
Thats wat id do anyway lol. Gud luck

Rhodaogunpeju:
I decided to write this because I have come to realize that Love can get boring..
.
I remember when I met my husband , he was such a Nice and handsome Man. I mean I already decided if he ask me out I will say yes from the first day I met him but I still made him beg and purse me for a whole year before finally accepting to date him ..

6 months after our relationship we got married. and our marriage was bliss , I married a friend , we have our downs and quarell but we always make up before we sleep because of the fact that we made it compulsory that we must have a family prayer Every night , we usually settle most of our fights during these prayers ..

But sometimes marriages can get boring , you have gisted all the entire gist ,talk about everything talkable till there is actually nothing to talk about,. Then the husband starts drifting away .maybe he's got a new friend or found a new love ...sometime this new love might not be a person ,For instance my husband new love is politics..He's always working and when he's home he is either watching the News on Tv and even when he tries to talk to me he will be like "Baby can you believe what kai muhammad said again"..

And I'm just sitting like who and what is my concern with lai muhammad?... Yet he doesn't see my reaction,he just continues to talk untill we fall asleep.i listen to him because I have to he is my husband.

The love flame was slowly wearing our ,I mean he no longer wants me to wait for him before I eat. .. if I call him to inquire when he is coming back home , he replies with "I don't know but eat o.. don't wait for me "...

How about the sex life ... What use to be mind blowing sex is now just average .just because he's had too much if it ..I could also say the same about me..I mean before seeing my husband in boxers turns me on but now even if he's naked it doesn't seem to move me

Hmmm but regardless I still love my husband. .I have sat him down many times and talked about spicing things up but you know Men... Anyways the moral of my story is that when you marry ..marry someone that even when he/she changes you would still love them because trust me they will....
.

You are simply suffering from marriage fatigue........

Make it a thing too, start understanding the rudiments of the political arena etc etc

Talk to him expressing your concerns, don't only talk, send him sms/whatsapp messages, voicing your concerns........

Go on holidays, eat out, visit beaches together etc etc

Finally, if all fails..... Both of you need to book an appointment with a therapist..........

Real life pressures, could make love stale...... So long as love still exists in your union, a happy path could still be found............

Marriage is like buying a new toy .. at first you're happy and all over it but later you get tired of it... but that doesn't mean we shouldn't love...if you genuinely love the person you married then you're Good cos true love always prevail .

Rhodaogunpeju:
I decided to write this because I have come to realize that Love can get boring..
.
I remember when I met my husband , he was such a Nice and handsome Man. I mean I already decided if he ask me out I will say yes from the first day I met him but I still made him beg and purse me for a whole year before finally accepting to date him ..

6 months after our relationship we got married. and our marriage was bliss , I married a friend , we have our downs and quarell but we always make up before we sleep because of the fact that we made it compulsory that we must have a family prayer Every night , we usually settle most of our fights during these prayers ..

But sometimes marriages can get boring , you have gisted all the entire gist ,talk about everything talkable till there is actually nothing to talk about,. Then the husband starts drifting away .maybe he's got a new friend or found a new love ...sometime this new love might not be a person ,For instance my husband new love is politics..He's always working and when he's home he is either watching the News on Tv and even when he tries to talk to me he will be like "Baby can you believe what kai muhammad said again"..

And I'm just sitting like who and what is my concern with lai muhammad?... Yet he doesn't see my reaction,he just continues to talk untill we fall asleep.i listen to him because I have to he is my husband.

The love flame was slowly wearing our ,I mean he no longer wants me to wait for him before I eat. .. if I call him to inquire when he is coming back home , he replies with "I don't know but eat o.. don't wait for me "...

How about the sex life ... What use to be mind blowing sex is now just average .just because he's had too much if it ..I could also say the same about me..I mean before seeing my husband in boxers turns me on but now even if he's naked it doesn't seem to move me

Hmmm but regardless I still love my husband. .I have sat him down many times and talked about spicing things up but you know Men... Anyways the moral of my story is that when you marry ..marry someone that even when he/she changes you would still love them because trust me they will....
.

That's the problem with women. The man is always the one that need to change. Let your hubby do his own write up and you ll see where you err too. E.g Are you more respectful or less respectful in the last 7 years

justosee:
only a sick woman beat up her mother-in-law

U didnt answer the question

RealGboy:
she can lie for africa . just to get likes

chill na, that child must have been out of wedlock

Feddytune:
What makes you so sure they haven't tried all that?... marriage is sccam.. is like buying a new toy .. at first you're happy and all over it but later you get tired iyf it

True!

After a while you just get tired of fučking the same pùssy every time