Danhoys:
I could totally relate to you dear op, but I'm sure we're the lucky ones.

First of all, you married someone you love, someone you find both romantically and sexually attractive.

That's a plus.

When I and my hubby were passing through this turbulent phase, what helped was having similar interest.

I'm hugely into politics, and so is my husband. Trust me, there is always something to gist on when he's back from work.

Aside from politics, we're both hardcore gamers too, and we're already saving to get PS4, and it doesn't stop us from giving our young kids the attention they deserve.

Aside that, we both have huge interest in other areas too, like science. There is always something to talk about.

I've always love men who are built, and my husband knows this.

Every weekend, we go running, and we help each stay fit. Sometimes I teases him that he should be a model, and I do take alluring pictures of him too.

I'm a super intelligent lady, (not bragging), so I ensured that my husband's intellect matched with mine before saying 'I do!'

We've been married for 5 years now, and the love and fun is still there. During leave, we always make it a duty to travel to another state, and see an interesting place.

A week vacation doesn't hurt, and it has a way to rekindle the love we have for each other.

When you marry your friend, you discover that your love is new every morning lol.

Work and children can't steal love away, that's an excuse people give to avoid talking about how they no longer find their partner attractive or interesting.

I don't want to talk about sex, cause ours is on a whole new level. Sex shouldn't be the traditional offing of light and missionary thrusting.

That's boring!!! It needs spicing every time or it becomes boring and a chore.

I wouldn't like to go into details, before some religious folks label us sinners.

You have work to do, and I'm sure you've gotten a cue from my write up. Wishing you more bliss in marriage.

And ur son is already 17yrs from ur previous post

Danhoys:
I could totally relate to you dear op, but I'm sure we're the lucky ones.

First of all, you married someone you love, someone you find both romantically and sexually attractive.

That's a plus.

When I and my hubby were passing through this turbulent phase, what helped was having similar interest.

I'm hugely into politics, and so is my husband. Trust me, there is always something to gist on when he's back from work.

Aside from politics, we're both hardcore gamers too, and we're already saving to get PS4, and it doesn't stop us from giving our young kids the attention they deserve.

Aside that, we both have huge interest in other areas too, like science. There is always something to talk about.

I've always love men who are built, and my husband knows this.

Every weekend, we go running, and we help each stay fit. Sometimes I teases him that he should be a model, and I do take alluring pictures of him too.

I'm a super intelligent lady, (not bragging), so I ensured that my husband's intellect matched with mine before saying 'I do!'

We've been married for 5 years now, and the love and fun is still there. During leave, we always make it a duty to travel to another state, and see an interesting place.

A week vacation doesn't hurt, and it has a way to rekindle the love we have for each other.

When you marry your friend, you discover that your love is new every morning lol.

Work and children can't steal love away, that's an excuse people give to avoid talking about how they no longer find their partner attractive or interesting.

I don't want to talk about sex, cause ours is on a whole new level. Sex shouldn't be the traditional offing of light and missionary thrusting.

That's boring!!! It needs spicing every time or it becomes boring and a chore.

I wouldn't like to go into details, before some religious folks label us sinners.

You have work to do, and I'm sure you've gotten a cue from my write up. Wishing you more bliss in marriage.

And ur son is already 17yrs from ur previous post

Qatar2022:
What's the morals of this your comment?

that comment was very stupid

Ishilove:

Fidelity in marriage is "overrated", and you still end the post with "may God give us wisdom". You're justifying adultery and giving God honour, in the same sentence.

People, please ignore this satanic post so that you don't fall into a pit.

What do you mean by satanic post?
You're just ignorant . holier than thou peeps.

Make sure sey you make heaven iranu

justosee:
sick comment. cheating is the only thing I can never think of forgiving in a relationship.

very sick comment,I tell you.
The only thing he could think about was to have his way with a married woman.
The worst is the number of likes and shares it gathered

Nice of you to share, here's what many people going into marriage do not know.

It's not going to be adventurous and romantic 24/7. Sour days will come. These days, i'd advice people to spend more than 6 months knowing a person before settling down. The reason is because there is usually a lot you will never know in half a year.

About sex life, it's easy. Switch things up. Try to communicate better with him and if possible find ways to bring back the memories that brought you both together in the first place.

Rhodaogunpeju:
I decided to write this because I have come to realize that Love can get boring..
.
I remember when I met my husband , he was such a Nice and handsome Man. I mean I already decided if he ask me out I will say yes from the first day I met him but I still made him beg and purse me for a whole year before finally accepting to date him ..

6 months after our relationship we got married. and our marriage was bliss , I married a friend , we have our downs and quarell but we always make up before we sleep because of the fact that we made it compulsory that we must have a family prayer Every night , we usually settle most of our fights during these prayers ..

But sometimes marriages can get boring , you have gisted all the entire gist ,talk about everything talkable till there is actually nothing to talk about,. Then the husband starts drifting away .maybe he's got a new friend or found a new love ...sometime this new love might not be a person ,For instance my husband new love is politics..He's always working and when he's home he is either watching the News on Tv and even when he tries to talk to me he will be like "Baby can you believe what kai muhammad said again"..

And I'm just sitting like who and what is my concern with lai muhammad?... Yet he doesn't see my reaction,he just continues to talk untill we fall asleep.i listen to him because I have to he is my husband.

The love flame was slowly wearing our ,I mean he no longer wants me to wait for him before I eat. .. if I call him to inquire when he is coming back home , he replies with "I don't know but eat o.. don't wait for me "...

How about the sex life ... What use to be mind blowing sex is now just average .just because he's had too much if it ..I could also say the same about me..I mean before seeing my husband in boxers turns me on but now even if he's naked it doesn't seem to move me

Hmmm but regardless I still love my husband. .I have sat him down many times and talked about spicing things up but you know Men... Anyways the moral of my story is that when you marry ..marry someone that even when he/she changes you would still love them because trust me they will....
.

Kylekent59:
Many are rushing into marriage because their friends are married or because they think they are old enough to have gotten married. That was how a neighbor to a friend of mine was in a haste to get married of which she eventually did, but now, it's the worst mistake she ever did.


The plain truth is that not every marriage is blissful. One thing I like about myself: I don't rush things.

All comes at the right time, no skipping. you are right.

Rhodaogunpeju:
I decided to write this because I have come to realize that Love can get boring..
.
I remember when I met my husband , he was such a Nice and handsome Man. I mean I already decided if he ask me out I will say yes from the first day I met him but I still made him beg and purse me for a whole year before finally accepting to date him ..

6 months after our relationship we got married. and our marriage was bliss , I married a friend , we have our downs and quarell but we always make up before we sleep because of the fact that we made it compulsory that we must have a family prayer Every night , we usually settle most of our fights during these prayers ..

But sometimes marriages can get boring , you have gisted all the entire gist ,talk about everything talkable till there is actually nothing to talk about,. Then the husband starts drifting away .maybe he's got a new friend or found a new love ...sometime this new love might not be a person ,For instance my husband new love is politics..He's always working and when he's home he is either watching the News on Tv and even when he tries to talk to me he will be like "Baby can you believe what kai muhammad said again"..

And I'm just sitting like who and what is my concern with lai muhammad?... Yet he doesn't see my reaction,he just continues to talk untill we fall asleep.i listen to him because I have to he is my husband.

The love flame was slowly wearing our ,I mean he no longer wants me to wait for him before I eat. .. if I call him to inquire when he is coming back home , he replies with "I don't know but eat o.. don't wait for me "...

How about the sex life ... What use to be mind blowing sex is now just average .just because he's had too much if it ..I could also say the same about me..I mean before seeing my husband in boxers turns me on but now even if he's naked it doesn't seem to move me

Hmmm but regardless I still love my husband. .I have sat him down many times and talked about spicing things up but you know Men... Anyways the moral of my story is that when you marry ..marry someone that even when he/she changes you would still love them because trust me they will....
.

Just 7 years you are complaining, do you really believe marriage is all sex, boyfriend and girlfriend chasing up and down. It's an institution I am very sure you have no children yet that's why you are less busy thinking about boyfriend and girlfriend runs.
If na naija you dey immediately after marriage another member is added into the marriage this makes bonding more btw man and woman. Because you go hussle to take care of that pikin together.in naija you are minister of education, power, and housing no government help.
So tell me if you are busy hussling to meet up you get time for this ..just 7 years....haha.ba. go born pikin.

Everything is not all about sex. your husband can stay one year without touching you. as far as both of you are still together all is well. sex is overated.
The future is Female!

Marriage is not sweet not love

Jonra:
Not just those two things, she's an intelligent lady who is open to new experiences - this is a huge bonus.

In summary, her brain is active and her heart is open, you have no idea how hard it is to find her type - a woman who is evolving in body, mind, and soul in 21st-century marriage. Baba, only 0.1% of Nigerian girls fall in that category.

Lolz , she's no rare breed.

Just doing her, it could be different for others.

An introverted couple may enjoy their introvertedness the same way she enjoys extra activities.

Btw when did video games, exercising become something exclusive .

FreeSpirited:
Guys, When you want to date married women, women who are like 5 to10yrs above in marriage are the most vulnerable to fall into your trap. Many times they crave attention..or are just bored of their husband.
.
It's not gainsay when they say the first 5 to 7 years is the most turbulent in marriage that can break or make a marriage.
.
The story this young woman detailed above is a typical cycle of almost all marriages. The point our OP finds herself, for an average lady, after trying to endure or make things work will just succumb to the pressure of guys out there...and before u say jack..smart bold guys are already pounding her pvssy with all alacrity.. It's natural these days.. especially if you are in the business of chyking/chopping married women. You will know this.
.
It's only a matter of time if nothing is done before this woman starts riding the BBC of a guy who gives her attention and tickle her fancy...Naso e dey start...Nothing new.
.
That's why to me, fidelity in marriage is overrated..cos most times couples have broken their vow long before their significant other realises.
But in her situation, some women will deliberately go out and give in to the advances of their admirer just to kill boredom, depression and feel happy. To hell with marital vows..women do this most times to be Happy. However, the smart ones still find a way to balance home demand by not making it affect the integrity of the marriage...what they do is just flow with the marriage and not stress too much for the attention of their busy husband since he's not ready to be disturbed.
.
In thesame vein, the busy husband most times is also somewhere cheating with a university or polytechnic slayqueen cos he's also bored of her wife....That's the paradox of marriage.
.
You see... cheating on both sides maintains the marriage and happiness of both party codedly. Argue with me all you care...that's the reality..
Meanwhile, the stupid couples when they start the cheating game, they transfer the bottled anger and aggression on their partner which usually cause breakup......While the coded smart ones maintain their marriage and we keep praising and complimenting their marriage as the best thing that ever happened since Adam and Eve.
May God give us wisdom in all we do.

This comment nailed the root cause of cheating in marriage. To me, that marriage vow need to be scrapped

The excitement and fire can never be the same like when you are newly married or newly dating. But nonetheless love is beautiful, it's not all about hot sex and attraction. There is dedication, loyalty, care&support, long suffering, sacrifices, endurance, patience, sometimes you have to give yourself a break and just be dedicated to your partner.

Feddytune:
What makes you so sure they haven't tried all that?... marriage is sccam.. is like buying a new toy .. at first you're happy and all over it but later you get tired iyf it

I was talking to a lady one time. I told her that its not that I can't be romantic and give attention but I'm too discipline to engaged on irrelevant activities.

She was like she'll want a guy she could visit in the office and do one round. A guy that can give attention , bla bla bla..

I was just looking at the mumu. I can never marry such person. She didnt even talk about how we'll make money together.

We were talking about dream lover onetime, she was just saying tall, fit, financial, caring bla bla bla..

Me myself I'm just 5'9 short and skinny . I no fit her category. When she ask me of my dream lover , I told her any lady that knows how to make money finish! She was surprise.

If your wife sabi make money your marriage go sweet. All we have are just overrated house wife.
Marriage is a big scam!
Make I no vex speak in modii voice

What keeps marriage going is not love what keeps it going is tolerance, perseverance and endurance.

Marriage is not a Must ..Go for it ,stay in it if U can . Don't even go near it if you can't ....Wetin dey for Marriage self .Washing of Clothes Dry Cleaner Dey, Washing is some men hobby ,Cooking of food , Restaurant and Mama Put dey .U can even cook urself .Sweeping of Compound ,U can hire Cleaner ,Wetin dey for Sweeping self ,Sebi no be whole Town .Sex ,This is one of the easiest to get .Children : Yeah this is the only reason woman is Needed ,Child Bearing ,But wait ooo , Surrogacy don dey now , Surrogate Mother dey ,No need for Marrying self ,Surrogate mother just carry d baby for u ,Born am u pay her ,Not a must for breastfeeding Joor ,U get Food laced with enough Lauric acid ,same that makes woman breast Has enough Vitamins for Child's Development.Abeg save yourself of Unnecessary Nagging ,Stress ,Wahala. Marriage don send many people go Grave Joor

Irennediva:
Everything is not all about sex. your husband can stay one year without touching you. as far as both of you are still together all is well. sex is overated.
The future is Female!

nah! The future is united

Rhodaogunpeju:
I decided to write this because I have come to realize that Love can get boring..
.
I remember when I met my husband , he was such a Nice and handsome Man. I mean I already decided if he ask me out I will say yes from the first day I met him but I still made him beg and purse me for a whole year before finally accepting to date him ..

6 months after our relationship we got married. and our marriage was bliss , I married a friend , we have our downs and quarell but we always make up before we sleep because of the fact that we made it compulsory that we must have a family prayer Every night , we usually settle most of our fights during these prayers ..

But sometimes marriages can get boring , you have gisted all the entire gist ,talk about everything talkable till there is actually nothing to talk about,. Then the husband starts drifting away .maybe he's got a new friend or found a new love ...sometime this new love might not be a person ,For instance my husband new love is politics..He's always working and when he's home he is either watching the News on Tv and even when he tries to talk to me he will be like "Baby can you believe what kai muhammad said again"..

And I'm just sitting like who and what is my concern with lai muhammad?... Yet he doesn't see my reaction,he just continues to talk untill we fall asleep.i listen to him because I have to he is my husband.

The love flame was slowly wearing our ,I mean he no longer wants me to wait for him before I eat. .. if I call him to inquire when he is coming back home , he replies with "I don't know but eat o.. don't wait for me "...

How about the sex life ... What use to be mind blowing sex is now just average .just because he's had too much if it ..I could also say the same about me..I mean before seeing my husband in boxers turns me on but now even if he's naked it doesn't seem to move me

Hmmm but regardless I still love my husband. .I have sat him down many times and talked about spicing things up but you know Men... Anyways the moral of my story is that when you marry ..marry someone that even when he/she changes you would still love them because trust me they will....
.

There is no drifting except you define it as such. There is what they call reality. Marriage is not a novel or Nollywood movie. If you want your marriage to always be about you, then you are selfish. Marriage does not mean you shut out your environment. What is wrong is discussing politics. He asked you to eat does not mean he doesn't love you again. There are stages in life and they are not the same thing.

doxijaw:


Lolz , she's no rare breed.

Just doing her, it could be different for others.

An introverted couple may enjoy their introvertedness the same way she enjoys extra activities.

Btw when did video games, exercising become something exclusive .

Im highly introverted and I avoid my kind seriously. I've deliberately cut off my kind. When I'm with introvert girls I try to be extroverted but they act too complicated and I don't have time for all that. Me wey just dey sacrifice my introversion for you, you wan com stress me.

But the extrovert ladies are always running their mouth � . I just smile at their many talks, they'll always have irrelevant thing to say.

The good ones will listen to my correction. When you offend them they'll voice out immediately. But those introvert ones might deal with you silently . I no go like dey with dangerous babe

Qatar2022:

What's the morals of this your comment?

thank you for that comment.

This thread is for the married Nairalanders so let a single guy like me just be reading jejely and learning from all these wonderful couples.. I want to learn more so please keep commenting!!

Alberta finally got boring.

Unfortunately it’s not like Lagos where you can quickly conjure one untraceable work related training and quickly collect some good D or have a “pussy hungry” colleague take you on a boat ride in Ikoyi and drill you after.

The only person I’m happy for is your husband.
He did the right thing at the right time. Took you to the country where it will be difficult for you to start any cheating drama even if you wanted to.

I can bet my balls that if all this happened in Naija, you’ll be busy riding a dick by now.

But it’s kinda harder to do there cos of obvious reasons :

1) you gotta get ur ass to clock-in for ur 8 hrs and get back in time for your kids.
2) you probably no longer have d goody body to pull a Kanye at work cos ure just a dark woman trying to sort part of d bills.
3) there’s no random fucker dat will want to screw you for free over thr except for d few naija guys that don’t have a work. Or the Jamo guy.

I see through your rants sis. Carry your cross.


I know husbands are not saints too...Bottom line is these bitches ain’t loyal either.

Position yourself well guys.

Lastly Nothing lasts forever.

people are no longer contented with what they have I bet the op is craving for extramarital action. The grass is always greener on the other side. Lastly all things being equal, I think it's cool to get married to someone who has impulse control because you meet people who are cute, sexier ,rich etc than your spouse and if you don't impulse control before you realise you have slept with everybody

Irennediva:
Everything is not all about sex. your husband can stay one year without touching you. as far as both of you are still together all is well. sex is overated.
The future is Female!

@bolded iffa give you better knock!

By the way , why do ladies demand more do sex in marriage?
Is it due to joblessness?

Rhodaogunpeju:
How about the sex life ... What use to be mind blowing sex is now just average.

You are lucky you got to experience what mind-blowing sex feels like. A lot of married women cannot relate. They were doomed from Day 1.

Rhodaogunpeju:
I mean before seeing my husband in boxers turns me on but now even if he's naked it doesn't seem to move me.

You're lucky to have experienced being turned on at one point. A lot of women got married to men they were never sexually attracted to. They don't even know how being turned on feels like, particularly if the husband is in boxers. They find their husbands to be very repulsive.

Good thing you did not paint a fake picture of your marriage like many do.

Seriously, I don’t know why some couples always find it difficult to adjust when a partner is noticing some things that could possibly affect the marriage, I mean if yoU marry someone for love, you must be ready to always do things to spice up that love and keep the fire burning. And one must ensure he or she notices these things on time, so it can be worked on and everything goes smoothly. You don’t expect to live with someone forever, that at some point you won’t feel like you need your single life back, that’s why one must be prepared psychologically before marriage, no jokes... Like someone said here, you need wisdom to keep your home safe and secured from external forces.

FreeSpirited:
Do you yourself have morals?

kaymart:

so, what's the solution?
to.havw separate rooms?

Apparently a lot of couples who can are doing that now. So long as it's done under mutual agreement and not under "vex" conditions

Danhoys:
I could totally relate to you dear op, but I'm sure we're the lucky ones.

First of all, you married someone you love, someone you find both romantically and sexually attractive.

That's a plus.

When I and my hubby were passing through this turbulent phase, what helped was having similar interest.

I'm hugely into politics, and so is my husband. Trust me, there is always something to gist on when he's back from work.

Aside from politics, we're both hardcore gamers too, and we're already saving to get PS4, and it doesn't stop us from giving our young kids the attention they deserve.

Aside that, we both have huge interest in other areas too, like science. There is always something to talk about.

I've always love men who are built, and my husband knows this.

Every weekend, we go running, and we help each stay fit. Sometimes I teases him that he should be a model, and I do take alluring pictures of him too.

I'm a super intelligent lady, (not bragging), so I ensured that my husband's intellect matched with mine before saying 'I do!'

We've been married for 5 years now, and the love and fun is still there. During leave, we always make it a duty to travel to another state, and see an interesting place.

A week vacation doesn't hurt, and it has a way to rekindle the love we have for each other.

When you marry your friend, you discover that your love is new every morning lol.

Work and children can't steal love away, that's an excuse people give to avoid talking about how they no longer find their partner attractive or interesting.

I don't want to talk about sex, cause ours is on a whole new level. Sex shouldn't be the traditional offing of light and missionary thrusting.

That's boring!!! It needs spicing every time or it becomes boring and a chore.

I wouldn't like to go into details, before some religious folks label us sinners.

You have work to do, and I'm sure you've gotten a cue from my write up. Wishing you more bliss in marriage.

Lovu wantintin. I was shy reading your comment.

This is an interesting post

The reason people feel disappointed in life, in marriages and in their affairs with other people is having too much expectation from others.


Lots of women make this mistake. They have a lot of expectations from their future husband; my husband must be tall, dark, fair, graduate, oil company worker, must be wearing suit and tie to work and the fine native to Church on Sunday.....he must be excellent in bed and very romantic and ready to pet me everyday. He must be so gentle and be serving me breakfast in bed. He must be faithful and very handsome. He must own his own house and good luxury cars. He must love what I love. We will have 3 kids; 2 boys and 1 girl.


This is where ladies start to have problem in life; too much expectation from men. When their expectations are not met, they start to feel irritated and frustrated with life.



Dear ladies, expect less from men and you will live a happy life.


Op is suffering from girlie fantasies. In fact you are a boring spouse. Imagine you cannot even sit down and discuss politics that affects your whole life with your husband but you want him to be doing nonsense Tom and Jerry love. You really need to change your orientation about life.


For your info, I am married and enjoying my marriage to the fullest. Its as if I am single, no stress.


And how can you exhaust all topics to discuss with your partner Don't you guys have jobs or business or something that make you come in contact with people everyday which will automatically create topics for you and your hubby.

My wife will come back from call sometimes and start to gist me what happened; especially when there is a serious or interesting incident that happened. She knows I love politics, not just Nigerian but world politics. US oh, Europe oh, Asia, etc, I am in. Once I step into the sitting room or her room, she will change the station to a news station unless she is watching an interesting movie episode or something.

Op, you and your husband didn't court enough. That's why it's not good to hurry marriage nowadays.




Stop choking your husband with your clingness, it can be irritating. Give him some freedom to feel like a boy. Stop being too clingy as a wife, it turns men off. Your husband shouldn't be your 247 routine, have your own life and schedule and allow him have some breathing space before you push him into the arms of strange women