This is very funny. Couldn't hold back the laughter in public

Lol @ OP. Nice one.

mumu boy , I nearly broke my phone screen ooh.
Hilarious , when he left his friend behind

This is the most hilarious thread recently on NL


Op, please come back and finish up

First time I'll be following a topic on nairaland.


Whether the story is true or false, you got me laughing out loud. Thumbs up for that.


Where you dey na...


HOW TAMBOLO GO COME BE IF MOSQUITO BE LIKE BAT

I laugh so hard. Actually the first in this year

You're probably the funniest writer on Nairaland.... Guess what?
I'm loving the story

i servant of the most high satan approves this story

RealGboy:
I have been house hunting for a while now .
My plan was to get atleast a one bedroom self contain, but the price was too high , the least I got was 150k (agreement/commission inclusive). And I have just 60k ,my friend decided to introduce me to one caretaker and the man told me there is a house of 1500 per month and with agreement and commission it would cost me 50k to start but that it is a face me I face you .



He also assured me that it is a good place and infact a steal , he said the landlord made it so cheap because he's a man of God . Na so my joy increased and without further ado I told him to let us go check the place out .





We arranged to go there in the afternoon but it was delayed and we later got there round 6pm
On getting there I realized that it is a gated compound which is a plus for me , but when we got there the caretaker refused to enter even though the gate was unlocked ,he started calling one of the tenant to pls come and open the gate
I asked him why and he said there is a Dog in the compound and nobody dares enter carelessly,he said even the landlord had slept outside the gate many times because of the Dog .




I was shocked and I find it both hilarious and stupid,a whole landlord that could not enter his own compound because of tenant's dog. While we were still talking the Dog owner came out , called the dog chained it and then ask us to come in .




When we entered my heart jumped cos i saw a big lion I started screaming lion!!!! Lion !!! Lion!!!..
The caretaker told me to relax and said it's not a lion but a Dog , when I heard Dog my jaw dropped, na Dog big like this , I'm 5.7ft tall and this Dog is almost my height and very robust ,na there I understand why the landlord sleep outside .



I told the Dog owner who introduced himself to me as brother Charles that this animal should be in a zoo but he just laughed and told me I will understand the reasons why the Dog is there later ,




We proceeded into the house ,which is a one storey building, there is a borehole in the compound which means water is not a problem.
On getting to the room I was to rent , immediately we opened the Door ,Me and the caretaker was almost ambushed by cats .big big cats ,about four of them ,when they saw us they rushed towards us in an attempt to flee and for the second time in few minutes my heart jumped again ,



My shock was reshocked when the caretaker told me that once I fix the Door net the rats won't be able to enter ,I thought he made a mistake so I told him "you mean Cat" he said no that those animals are rats ,



Omo I gave up ,I didn't know when I screamed ahhhhhhhhh ,but why all the animals for this compound con big pass normal size now I asked him..he assured me that it's nothing and it is only big because I'm seeing it for the first time and by the time I get used to them it won't be special anymore..



I just lost I wanted to give up on the house but the room was actually big and clean , and the ceiling was p.o.p the man was right when he said it is a steal..



The caretaker told me to check it out myself why he quickly goes out to recieve a call..
Na there I con dey wonder , Dog be like Lion. Rat be like Cat .
Wetin mosquito go con be like ?..
While I was still wondering I heard soft female voice greeting me


Typing ...

God bless you in a million way gosh your write up is engaging i am laughing here i can't wait for continuation thanks

Mention me when u uodate

Hahaha

The guy s grt

I don laugh � tire here.. waiting for next update seriously

Lol

I don laff taya sotey I dey gasp for air..
Which Kain thread I stumble upon this night?

Op kindly quote me when you post new update, make I quickly go change fuse for transformer.

Why still keeping us waiting?

The mosquito will be like an eagle.

abeg op con give me more vibes b4 I retire for d nite.

The guy is good and hilarious. I don't normally read fiction on nairaland but this is highly humorous

When I got home , I realized my friend wasn't home , I called him and he told me to meet him in a police station nearby.. police station ?? Wetin happen ?. He did not reply just hung up .

When I got there I saw my friend with plaster and bandages all over his face and legs ,, the Dog really injured him , my friend saw me and urge me to come and write my own statement too, on the Dog matter ,


The police told me not to fear and that What my friend is doing is the right thing, they assured me that They would saction both the landlord and the Dog owner and make them pay for my friend injuries and also give me back my house rent money if I want.


Na so I carry Biro write epistle on what happened,,the police then called us to inform us that whatever money they pay my friend they will collect half for thier fee and we agreed ..


I went back home that night with mixed feeling ,I know involving the police will make me lose the house and that means I won't see fareedah again, but well atleast I'll be alive .

Next day we went to the police station again and together with 4 police men we proceeded to the house ,on gettin'there ,the police officers did not even bother to knock ,they just barged Into the compound and started shouting asking everyone to come out.


Me and my friend checked the cage and noticed that the Dog was not there ,but we were calm because the police officers was with us .

Out of nowhere the Dog pounced on one officer and started biting the leg ,omo see commotion,instead of the other three officers to intervene for thier colleague ,to our shock they took to thier heels ,

You need to see race that day na my friend I pity pass because the guy was still recovering.

The police officers started running faster than us as if they were possessed ,


when we all finally got to a safe place ,the 3 officers turned to me and my friend and handcuffed us, we were shocked ,when we asked them why and what our offence was?.they replied that we committed four offence.
(1) "Lying to a policeman

,(2) Tendering False information

(3) manipulation

and finally (4) attempted murder "..shoo all these big grammar for why now? We did nothing officers na " I replied,.

They said we wrote Dog in our statement knowing fully well that it was a Lion thereby putting thier life at risk...they said if they had knew it was a Lion they would have come with better machinery ..

But It's not a lion it's a Dog sir " ..we argued but this officers refused to listen , instead they gave me a hot slap and told me to keep quiet , " Shut up who you be, you think say we no go school to know difference between Lion and dog ? "..
I couldn't utter any more word , they dragged us to the police station and put us behind bars


We later found out that the policeman that was attacked had been badly injured and lost a lot of blood ..

Before long both the Dog owner and the Landlord joined us in prison with half of the compound .

While in the prison both the landlord and the Dog owner kept shouting at each other ,the landlord blamed the tenant for bringing such Dog while the tenant blamed the landlord for not doing anything about the high level of insecurity in the compound..

When they finally calm down after another tenant begged both party the word that came out of my mouth was."Hope your daughter fareedah is safe sir "..





The man replied


Typing ......

guy update abeg I don laff die

Police dn hammer b dat

The laff started when the dog-lion pounced on the police officers.
I wonder how your friend would be able to run.

misscongeniality come and read funny story.

Love this story am not sleeping today

Wahala just be like covid-19

Come and complete your story biko

RealGboy:
immediately I turned right to see who was greeting me . Lo and behold I saw the most beautiful creature ever , the babe must be in her early twenties , not fair not dark but glowing , she's got curves , dimples and was blessed both front and back ,

How I was able to see all these in just 2 seconds is another topic entirely , I greeted her back and introduced myself as the new tenant ( seeing the babe automatically made me certain Its a good house after all).

I told her my name and she replied with her name adding that she's the landlord daughter ,

I replied ooh nice to meet you , that's when I noticed her carrying some bats about 3 bats in a parker .

I was shocked again and I asked her if bats do come to the compound ,she looked surprise and asked me where I saw bat .I pointed to her hand and she laughed and said "No these are just mosquitoes"..

"Jesussssss " I screamed ,she smiled and told me it's nothing to worry about she also assured me that she will put me through on how to stop them from coming into my room..

When I heard that my senses flew away , " Are you sure you would put me through" I asked again .
She replied yeah ,she then ask if I am married and I quickly replied that I'm not married and very single ..
She just smiled and said " Me too" ..

Before I could say anything else the caretaker showed up ,and the girl excuse us assuring me that she will check on me later ..

When the caretaker asked "How far u like the house ?". I replied yes yes .it's a beautiful place with beautiful animals .(up till now I still couldn't believe I said that )..

We proceeded to the ATM,I withdrew the money ,signed agreement,paid and collected key.
There was not much to do in the room , except for the door net ,

I was introduced to someone that could help me fix the net ,I paid and left for my friend house ,the thought of the babe has clouded my mind and I totally forgot about the

Dog that looked like Lion
Rat that looked like Cat
Mosquito that looked like bat ..


I got home that night unknown to me that my troubles had just began





Typing..

You must be a comedian . I am laughing very hard here.

JONSYN7154:
misscongeniality come and read funny story.

I need an orobo Fanta to be able to read that story. You ant give me

Dis guy no go kill person pikin today.. E don tey wey i don laff lyk dis.... Correct guy abeg continue jare!

l pity your friend sha you carry wahala drop for him head