/
Congratulations!

You thought N100 is too much for gold circle.

Enjoy your cross.
/

you don enter. marriage is forever you don choose your cross be that. manage her like that. if u divorce her na hell u de enter ooo

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.

I pleaded with her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father's family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister.

My mother in law refused saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to save enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me.

My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complaining about the money not being enough. I refused giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?

You give ur mum alone 10k but expect ur wife nd 3 kids to survive with 25k,give ur wife 10k nd each of the kids 10k that's 40k,kids hv needs nd they all must be met,why ur mum could survive without ur 10k

cococandy:


some things just blow my mind honestly. This internet gives them free hand to come and throw in nonsense contributions devoid of experience and empathy.

One new born is capable of monumental stress on the whole family. Gives mom sleepless upon sleepless nights. I can’t imagine 3 at once. With limited resources.

Then OP even has the nerve to complain of being denied sex. Who has sexual urges when they have those mountain of problems to solve? He probably won’t even agree to wear protection to avoid more children coming into that mix. But all he has are complaints .
I bet that poor woman is stressed out of her goddam mind.

Shut up. This is not America. Shut your hell

Do u know what it takes to feed 3 kids of that age , feeding ,pampars, medical, baby food , no woman can manage that even if there is peace. She go still cook for two of una abeg she too try self.
She is this she is that what about your own character ? Do u help her when u r free.
I have two kids and having a third is not a plan in this life
Wait make them start school u cry more.

Better carry ur wife sidon and talk and pampar her with nice words and appreciate her she put u in prayers and your home will turn Around. Good luck

While do u call her stupid. It is the guy that is stupid for not putting his preek in check . Abeg no try dey this guy's shoes . Do u know what she is going thru? baby wan chop no money for milk pls so.

quote author=jaxxy post=99920726]

U are a good a responsibile man. U took responsibility for ur kids and even married the stupid gal u call wife. The problem with most gals is they are very poor managers. Ur husband gives u his money and u can’t put it to good use, even if u notice it’s not enough u know he’s doing his best u should look for away to find solutions to ur family/hubbys financial issues bt instead she nags and complains and even threatens to live u with the kids. Is this not a stupid woman? A highly irresponsible gal turn wife??

Look bad company corrupts good manners, if u move with fools u will soon become a fool. Disassociate urself from that nonentity. Give her responsibilities to do. Set up a business if possible for her and monitor it because I know she’s useless. Atleast right now

Don’t give up hope yet. God will help u make right decisions regarding ur family. Cheers.[/quote]

Jossyfine:
Op you are not stingy but all you and your wife needs to do is proper planning. You have to stop eating out. Once you've gotten ur salary, sit down with ur wife and draw a plan. Eg:
After removing your Mum's 10k,ur 5k savings. Then the 40k should be planned on very well.
Nice
What kind of food are you feeding ur triplets? You
can buy raw maize (joro and dawa) soak and grind to process pap.
But she needs to buy peak powder milk (peak 123)about 3 tins, this should last a month.

If your kids are up to 6 months, you can introduce semi solid food like beans, draw soup and light swallow garnished with fish.
If your wife is not working, then she has to try and prepare breakfast for you to eat before leaving for work,or better still she can be packing lunch for you to stop you from spending on food in ur work place. Then when you get home in the evening, you eat dinner, this will help a lot in salvaging your finances.

She can locate the nearest bush market in your area to be buying food stuff you guys will be needing in a month.

Please, you can manage and increase her monthly upkeep to 30k,then persuade her to be making breakfast for you.

And lastly, learn to ignore her ranting and nagging while you encourage her to get something doing if your kids have come of age. you will scale through this phase soon.

Stay positive

Hmm..

All the girls wey comment before you are useless. All they said was shiits and trashes..

Looking at this thread, one will know how hard is it to find a sensible Nigeria girl..

Money is not the only thing a kid needs to grow.

Kriss216:
A woman you're giving almost 50% of your monthly income and she's still not satisfied is not the right one for you, bro.



Channel your energy, time, finances on your kids. That woman will never give you happiness.

Dear baba ibeta,I understand you so much but,
Y'all should stop blaming the lady...
It's not easy having to take care of one child,not to talk of three at the same time
You give her 25k monthly,not weekly for the upkeep of herself,one child, another and third one...
Don't you think 25k go don exhaust before the month ends?
When it does,the only thing that would come to her mind is frustration and anger....
Well, seeing that things aren't easy for her husband,a wise woman should think of how to bring in income too,and not to quarrel and nag
You self,stop quarreling her back....
I have a lady that gave birth to twins after marriage and when the twins were six months old,she started working and leaving the kids with her mum based on some agreements...
It's not easy for one person to keep paying all the bills....
Y'all should think of how someone else would help you..
I pray God sends a helper your way,amen

crackhaus:

This has to be the most practical response I have read on this thread so far.

All they require for now is proper planning, and a more appreciative woman who is willing to join in that planning...
Any other thing is complete hogwash.

That was the most sensible response bro..

crackhaus:

This has to be the most practical response I have read on this thread so far.

All they require for now is proper planning, and a more appreciative woman who is willing to join in that planning...
Any other thing is complete hogwash.

They do need to sit down and plan properly. But the OP isn't being realistic and he needs to be. He needs to appreciate that 25k is not enough for his wife to take care of the whole family for a month. And with that appreciation, he can be more understanding/patient of her frustrations. And that may make her less frustrated.

I agree with another poster, bring her into the process of how you distribute your salary. Consult her about what she thinks you should give your mom and whether or not it's the time to save. And honestly, I couldn't imagine my mom being ok taking 10k knowing I only make 55k and I have 3 kids.

Kriss216:
A woman you're giving almost 50% of your monthly income and she's still not satisfied is not the right one for you, bro.



Channel your energy, time, finances on your kids. That woman will never give you happiness.

bro the truth is the income is small. You're giving 25k per month to a woman to feed and take care of 4 kids, that's very small. He needs to wake up as a man.

Kriss216:
A woman you're giving almost 50% of your monthly income and she's still not satisfied is not the right one for you, bro.

Channel your energy, time, finances on your kids. That woman will never give you happiness.

This is such a senseless post. You're talking 50% arbitrarily. If you made 10k and gave your wife 50%(5k) to support a family of 5, she should be satisfied? Obviously, no. Stop peddling this advice, it's not helpful to him or his relationship.

Revolva:
you married a stupid woman........i have seen family of 5 managing with 55k or less and love is there in their two bed room face me face you


that lady is gonna wreck you down......

I’m kinda surprised that a lot of people are saying 55k is nothing..

Everybody dey form audio money..

I’ve seen some families wey kids plenty wey the husband no dey even see 50k a month.

GeneralPula:


I’m kinda surprised that a lot of people are saying 55k is nothing..

Everybody dey form audio money..

I’ve seen some families wey kids plenty wey the husband no dey even see 50k a month.

Could you break down what expenses would look like weekly/monthly? What do meals look like?

tabithababy:
. Did you just type "get a sister to take care of 3 kids that are not hers

Biko, get sense

You are the one who needs to get sense. Is he not paying the inconsiderate mother 25k, which is almost 50% out of his salary?
His sister or someone else will take care of them if their useless mom abandons them.
No one is indispensable. If the mom dies, won’t the children live and be taken care of

Righteousness2:
My Brother, what you are Facing right now are the Consequences we get when we decide to leave GOD'S way and go our way.
The Bible says ,
if thou will hearken.. you Expect this.
Likewise there are things we expect when we don't hearken.

Having Said that, you are Married right now so you are Husband and wife.
The Missing link I see in your Home is JESUS. You both need to Genuiely Surrender to JESUS.

You as the Head of the Home could be the link to bring JESUS into your Home.
Personally Surrender to JESUS, do away with all worldly stuff and let her see JESUS in you.

I Tell you she will have no other choice than to Join you and in no time you will see a whole new Home enjoying Peace from above.

abeg, shift.

Klass99:
@ Veave & Coco,

Which one is poor woman? Who sent her message? When you say young girls/women should embrace a life for themselves first, embrace honest work for honest living first, before delving into marriage and motherhood - fools come after you to say feminists this or feminists that, we are dissing marriage in favour of career.

Whereas that's not the case, it is simply for self preservation to guard against unnecessary suffer head and downward life trajectories, like this woman has gotten herself into. Okay let's even say finding honest work to do was hard to come by......

What about having certain standards as women, which we are not willing to go below like;

1. Never cohabiting with a man you're not married to - I suspect this was part of their saga.

2. Not taking in for a man, until he has respectfully done right by you and your people, in performing the traditional marriage rites.

3. Not doing baby mama tinz and other standards.

I am not one to judge, but the way men and women are conducting themselves in relationships these days is mind boggling, especially the women because we tend to lose more when things go awry. It is hard to empathize with certain people in certain situations abeg!

One thing most commenters here fail to properly appreciate is op and his wife/gf had triplets. It was not a decision of theirs neither was that within their power.

Many Nigerians survive (barely) on wages such as op. Op fortunate circumstance is that he had 3 at once.

I will just advise him to reduce the money he gives his mother because it probably takes a miracle of biblical proportions to feed 5 mouths and carter for 3 babies on 25k particularly during Buhari's regime.

@Prospertochu , reduce the money you give your mum and give your wife. Your mum needs to understand and take a cut. Your wife is not being unreasonable, what you are asking of her is almost impossible.

GeneralPula:


I’m kinda surprised that a lot of people are saying 55k is nothing..

Everybody dey form audio money..

I’ve seen some families wey kids plenty wey the husband no dey even see 50k a month.

The OP's wife gets N25k monthly, which covers food for 5, baby clothings, medication, washing and bathing soaps, kerosene etc......that breaks down to N830 daily.......in today's Nigeria, how do you spread this N830 to cater for these 3 babies at once, not to talk of the parents?

You have trailer and you still want to recharge your card?

Haha! What if you pregnant her again with triplet?

Do DNA first and be sure they are your children first. Then double th hussle to make ends meet

madridguy:
Brother, no point regretting marrying your wife. The only problem is a simple fact, 55K is small for a family of 5 in this present Nigeria.

I would suggest you continue to pacify your wife because raising 3 kids is not a small a task.

May God expand your income.

exactly...money is the only issue here and he should work on making more money...even 1 single child is very tough talk more of 3 kids...

In as much as 55k is small for a family of five. It very unfortunate that it difficult to find a loyal partner especially wife these days. Like my old uncle would say, it is not about how much earn, it is all about how it is spent. Having said that, spending much of your income with family could tell that if earn more you would bring it home. Your problem is not peculiar with low income earners, many young men with better income are facing simiIar issues in their marriage. I strongly believe that a loving wife would a least give you peace of mind and encouragement, which alone, can help you overcome financial difficulties.

My brother do your best to pacify her, if she insist of leaving the marriage. Let her go. If your mom can step up to take care of the kids, then you are lucky. More importantly, focus on improving your income, with God on your side it will end in praise.

I have intentionally left the partnity of the kids untouched. Raise them the best way you know how, being their provider and the task therein can propel you to greatness. All the best!!!

aroundtheearth:
Tell her family she's threatening to abandon you with the kids, which is very selfish and irresponsible of her. Idk how the thought could even cross her mind. She needs to get a job or earning some money via a business of some sort. Providing for your family shouldn't be your sole responsibility, especially with 3 kids.

what kinda Job can she do when she is taking care of 3kids? I don’t think the man is buoyant enough to even get a maid...

blesskewe:
she isn't considerate..................



ur cup of tea sha

His cup of tea indeed. Your comment is inconsiderate, hope you are not like his wife

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.

I pleaded with her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father's family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister.

My mother in law refused saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to save enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me.

My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complaining about the money not being enough. I refused giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?

Everyday I wake up na so I dey see my guys dey Bleep up. What's really happening to we guys?
Baba God abeg save the male folks

NoToPile:


Simply because if she doesnt have an established business with a sales girl or a good job theres no point, she can't start anything now because of the triplets.

Those children are the main jobs, even if she looks for work, they have to pay for daycare which they can't afford.

Under normal circumstances one individual shouldn't be taking care of triplets alone, its the begining of mental breakdown now add insufficient funds to the mix, its not a very palatable one. Even those who get the money dey sweat.

She is a superwoman

There was no mention that she was even doing anything that brings money before op carried her wholesale.

Some girls are wired to look unto men for their sustenance.

If it's not her father or uncles. It's her boyfriend or husband.

Some men don't ponder deeply about finances before relationship or marriage.

Cut 5k from the 10k giving to mama, Add it to your wife, it is not easy for 4 people to manage 25k in a month pls. Thank God you've another siblings to take care of your mother. If you explain to your mother she will understand.

Whenever your wife is bringing attitude, kindly keep calm.

May the Lord provide for you to take care of your load.

I feel your pain.

You have to seek the face of God
I mean you need to seek his face @Oghodua is my telegram name. Come and be doing airdrop to get into Cryptocurrency if you can invest 20k let's see if it can get you anything good in the long run. God used Crypto to save my life. Glory to God. Don't divorce her God hates divorce. Ensure you find sth doing to support the family my wife is a graduate of Uniben but learning tailoring. Before now she teaches to support my earnings but I stop her after she gave birth to avoid stress.

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.

I pleaded with her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father's family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister.

My mother in law refused saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to save enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me.

My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complaining about the money not being enough. I refused giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?

na money una no get na why una dey fight. even a child going to school sef, in present day nigeria 50k is not even enougj for a month for feeding sef talkless of 2 grown adults and 3 children. its the children that would finish the money on food and diapers. but hey, you knew well, you were furcking without condom and did not take steps to prevent a pregnancy you could not take care of, you have to live with the consequences...

Getting a girl pregnant doesn't mean you mst marry her. Inasmuch as you can handle your responsibilitiees wherever she is is fine.

osazsky:
if he gives his own mum 20k for his children.after 1 week his mum will start nagging..except she is rich or has rich siblings prob nor they finish

That's not true, a mother's love is different from a wife love

The mother will even be there for his son and grandchildren

Kriss216:

So, what is the wife contributing to the family? A man shouldn't care for his mum cos he got married to a senseless lady?

If 50% of the guy's income ain't enough for the wife, then, nothing in this world would be enough for her. She's inconsiderate and she's not a woman to bring happiness in a man's life.

Bros this your statement is very insensitive. Taking care of 3 kids is actually more work than whatever the op is doing as work. That said, 25k monthly to feed 5 mouths cos op is complaining of being denied food now?? How u see am? Monthly o, as in 30 days? How much is your feeding cost per day? Multiply by 30, and by 5. Add babies to it, milk, diapers etc. A tin of baby milk alone is 2200 for 400g, a single baby consumes this in 4 days max not to talk of 3. Do u know the price of food stuff in the market these days? That wife must be making miracles feeding those kids plus herself and op.
Op should expand his income base and while at it, distribute more equitably wat he earns.