₦airaland Forum

peacengine:
Approach the boy's family? Did you ask your friend if he took his family to the lady's house for introduction?

How can a woman risk marriage without the consent of her parents? Later when they burst her eyes and nose she will post graphic pictures on Facebook.

Which introduction?do you know how many times they must have begged for it?do you know how many friends,relatives and well wishes that must have interceeded on their behalf? So how will he now do the introduction?

Be true to your self dear,all these abusive marriages and divorce cases you are seeing today are with parental consent.

What more can parents do in an abusive marriage,it is either they ask you to endure it that marriage is not a bed of roses or ask you to end it. The decision still lies in you. Even when a lady complains too much to her parents,they start seeing it as been childish and unable to manage your home.

Lets us start taking charge of our decisions today. It makes us better people.

ranktzy:
I know him too, he's mum is a friend of my mum, so know the rest of his siblings. If he was married with 4kids,we would have celebrated with him & extended family. This goes to show that these bloggers lie alot to make a living... Just imagine people who don't know him from adam calling him a gold digger.

How can a guy of 30 with four kids already? When he take born them? Upon say he go school. He no do child spacing at all. People and common sense seems now far away. I no dey mind this bloggers at all.

RuuDie:
Prissyluv, baby124, aforti, peacengine
I no talk again!

You can imagine! Baby124 come and see this oooooo.
It is all about the fathers' interest.

baby124:
A shot gun marriage, though legal is a sham. If the people who should support you through that marriage are not there to affirm that consent. As we have seen time and time again, our Nigerian men are not worth going to this length for marriage. I hope she does not regret in the future. A man that will support marrying without her parents consent is not someone a woman should have confidence in. it has been proven over and over. A woman should not take such steps. A man can, but not a woman. A lot of men abuse women who have no family backing. They are even mocked in fights. I have witnessed this before. It is very risky for a woman to do this. Very. Especially in a Nigerian setting even inlaws will mock.

You made some valid points. Like you mentioned earlier,if a lady is to marry without her parents consent she should make sure the guy is worth it and again make sure the guy has an outstanding parents too who supports their decision.

My annoyance is with some parents who rejects a girls choice based on flimsy excuses and to satisfy their own interest.

I am all for parental consent and will do anything to have it. But in a case where it is not forthcoming and there are no valid reasons for it,should one dance to the tune of the parents?knowing fully well it wont make her happy.

masterblogger:
My dear I don't expect such from a lady like me. Am disappointed

You are yet to get loads of it then.
What is your point really?
If this story is investigated well,they must have pleaded severally for the parents approval but what?? They declined and probably on flimsy reasons. Lets assume their reasons are genuine and the lady insisted on her choice of man,they should have given their consent and blessed her. She has the sole right to choose who she wants to spend the rest of her life with and bears the consequences alone too if any. Parents are to guide us on such decisions.

I am not saying parental consent is not important,by all means try and get it but what happens if they refused to give it? Wait eternity?
I better wine and dine in my mistake than the mistake i was pushed into.

I hear you say parents nurtured and trained us. Of course,it is their duty to do so within their capability and capacity. Did you know when the plan to conceive you was made? Why the sentimental talk of nurturing and training then??

masterblogger:
It's morally and religiously wrong for a woman to marry without the parents consent.

So she should remain single since the parents didnt approve her choice of man ba?

Parents are not always right .I keep saying it. At times their best intentions are channeled the wrong way.

abeg make una help me for ds matter ooo. I don dey craze.
This stupid tablet is writing one nonsense that wont allow me do anything. It is saying unfortunately,the process com.google.process.gapps has stopped,and then ok,if i press ok it will pop up again. At first i thought its cos no Mb,now i ve mb,the same story.pls i need help urgently

God pls provide the money i will need to run this program this year in Jesus Name,Amen.

Eberex:
OP Let me share you my own experience which is still ongoing.

I met my girl friend when i taught senior students during my nysc days. That was 2001. She got admission into school the next year, but we weren't dating yet. Just friends and we kept communication open. When she was in her 100 level i asked her out, knowing what i'm getting myself into. I help out in my own way because its just the right thing to do.

Fast forward, she is in her finals. and graduating this year.

So its not about how much you will spend on her. Its how much you love her and if it is real love, then no matter how long it is , you will wait.

bros,how many year course did your girl read in school?

Acidosis:
The father is right. As a matter of fact, the girl and her father have the right to choose whatever church they wish to attend. However, the issue and the bad news bother on the fact that the guy was misinformed.

In the same vein, I believe the father wasn't properly informed before he got the dowry. The daughter must have lied knowing fully well that her family won't accept a non-catholic.

I'm a pentecostal, born and bred in a pentecostal family and I don't see myself taking a girl of a different faith to my family. In as much as I can cope with anyone, live, eat and dine with anyone, I do not see myself forfeiting my long accepted faith because of marriage/wedding. It is not worth it.

I have a sister who is married and happy, and I'm imagining if she had brought home a gurumahraji fanatic to papa and mama. They'd both be denounced and rejected. This is applicable to many people in Nigeria. Can Pastor Adeboye's son marry Zarah Buhari?

Can Buhari's daughter marry T.B Joshua's son?

Practically, the answer is NO. Thus, the man is right in his own right. Its left for the daughter to choose whether to continue or not.

She's not tied down or chained. She's free to go with her lover against her faith, her daddy and her family. Its a free world.

I want to believe you didnt type this.

Kachisbarbie:
hahaha... thanks Sis.
That one brazenly displays his ignorance on issues he has no first hand knowledge or experience on.
Thereby making I difficult to ignore.


Babe, I fill the state I was born into_ I can't give that up for anything, na marry I marry na_ them no sell me...lols. It has never crossed my mind to claim my husband's State of L.G.A o, the only time I do that is when I wanna see the reaction of the other person due to where my hubby is from.

Though there was this time a family friend wanted to help me with a govt job, when I gave him my details, he used his hand to change my SoO/LGA to my husband's, I was very angry. He said that's how it should be.

Believe me when I say I was happy when I saw this thread,but some of the comments here have left me more confuse. Anyways,whenever such issues come my way,i will choose the one that I have more advantage to. Thanks.

Kachisbarbie:
[i]This argument has been on between my colleagues and I, some of us insist a woman maintains her maiden state of origin (officially) after marriage, others say she changes to her marital state of origin .

To the Mrs in the house, which state of origin do you put on official forms (e.g) bank documents, travelling, sim registration...etc.?

Nne,which L.G.A do you fill in your form,ur state of origin or ur husbands? If asked to get LGA identification letter.where do u get it from?

Phema:
Yes. A woman adopts the husband's state of origin, Local government area and town in Nigeria. I don't know for other countries.

Ma,you believe so too?

[quote author=Luchiana1 post=41675829][/quote]My big family,how are you guys doing? Really missed each and every one of you. Hope you all are good and serving your father's land diligently.
Happy sunday all.

sarutobie:
what a totally misleading and untrue comment. didn't that same bible say "honor your parents so that your days may be long on earth" as one of the ten cardinal commandments?

So if your parents are clearly misleading you,you will still honour them ba?

As par the topic,the dad really tire person ooo

Some of these things are confusing ooo. I dont see this topic as daft at all. We dont really know it all.
Another that confuse me is this. If a married woman hasn't change her name legally and applying for a job or filling an important form where there are provisions of title,surname and names.is she to fill in 'mrs' as title while filling the rest with her former names?

pocohantas:
You won't look like any masquerade, some masquerades get dress sense sha. Your choice of colours are harmonious, blue+silver+ red.

The only thing is, I observed people match their purses and shoes. You should try that, makes it pop. Pick either the red/silver for your shoe and purse. Then your accessories: hand beads, earrings and neck piece can be the remaining colour on the tab.

Thanks dearie.

ClassicQueen:
Lool i guess the combo is ok then other members of this thread should also help out. Thanks

Thanks dearie.

ClassicQueen:
Goodmorning the combo is nice but me thinks the red purse and shoe will spoil the combo what do you think?

2) What is your skin colour? are u very dark skinned or light this will determine how it should be combined too.

3) Is this colour for your bridesmaid, bride and grooms traditional wedding outfit or Aso Ebi?

Answer these questions please.

Dearie,thanks for coming to my aid.
I am fair or what we call chocolate.
Its the colour of bridemaids and bride.

I ve change the combo now to deep blue lace with silver headtie and silver shoe,red purse and red earring. I mit not put on necklace cos its an up neck design. If at all i will wear,it will be a tiny red necklace.

I don die ooo. Make i no look like masquerade ooo. Check out the combo pls. Thanks alot dear.

Happy Christmas and new year in advance to you all.

I need help oo.
A deep blue lace with silver headtie,silver necklace and ear ring,and red purse. D slipers shoe is red though it wont be seen cos of the six pieces skirt. How una see d combo?

Cc: chiefwedslolo,classicqueen,droyal,chosenpraise and others.

sayoddy:
My sister, na so i see am o. I was counting week after week not knowing the heartbeat had stopped at 8weeks 1 day. Exactly 4 weeks after, I started seeing brown blood called spotting in my pant. I googled and learnt it could be the placenta but when the spotting continued for 3days, I went for scan and it revealed the fetus had died with no heartbeat. It was diagnosed as Missed Abortion and immediate evacuation needed to be done since my body can't do the job.
Hmmm come see me casting and binding, crying and wailing. I got married last year december and this happened in April. I wanted to give birth this year and was devastated of losing a baby.
With the help of my husband and mil, I summoned see a doctor with the hope he could revive it. The doctor said, I had to evacuate the remains so a new baby can stay. It's like washing a dirty plate so as to have a fresh and hot food.
The DnC was so painful abeg and to think some willingly go for abortion to kill a live fetus is very cruel.
To the glory of God, I got pregnant again in June and this pregnancy is monitored medically and in prayers.
May our expectations never be cut short o

It will end in praise my sister. I thank God for you.

sayoddy:
.

According to the routine, you must have an early scan for the viability of uterine pregnancy and to know it's not ectopic pregnancy at 8weeks,
the dating scan at 12weeks when it has fully developed,
the 20weeks scan for anatomy checking and sex revelation,
one at 28weeks and at 36weeks to measure the size and if vaginal or cs to be done.

I had miscarriage at 8weeks only to find out at 12weeks scan so this pregnancy, I follow all the routine scan and now 28weeks.

Thanks for this info ma.
But how come you didnt know you have miscarried,was there no blood? Educate me small abeg.

Maimi11,this your repeated 'if a guy truly loves you he will wait for you' is seriously turning my stomach.

I am not against the guy waiting if he wants to but if he decides to move on believing he cant wait that long for her to finish school,it does not imply in any way that he never truly loved her.

hahahahahahaha. Op,so you finally opened this thread. Very good ooo.
I am patiently waiting for their comments.

Acidosis:
You're welcome (without the "sir"

lol. I no fit laugh oo.

Acidosis:
A wife whose husband buys properties in his name only needs to brace up and discuss with her husband. Even if he owns the money, he still needs to extend his love by acquiring a property in the name of the woman.

On the other hand, the wife can gather some money to acquire one in her name. The key issue here is openness, since the man is responsible enough to use his wife as his next of kin, it would be improper for the woman to connive with her father or any other third party.

This issue of property also has to do with INTEREST, some women aren't interested in properties/investment. For such, I won't encourage the acquisition of properties just for the sake of acquiring one. Investment has to do with interest.

I personally won't buy a land to "secure some future in the event of death of an imaginary husband" I invest to make money. MONEY is the key motivation. I buy to sell off!

So interest is KEY, if you buy without keen interest, omo-onile might re-acquire illegally.

For instance, I don't think it would be wise for a REAL ESTATE MAN to buy a property to secure her wife's future. These guys are business men. He can either buy in his name or his company's.

Lastly, there are different ways to secure the future, properties being just one of such numerous ways. I don't think it'd be wise to buy a duplex you sure won't live in. What if one's husband refuses to DIE young? What if the marriage remains intact? Will the duplex just rot away?

Any investment/future conscious person (man or woman) should work and invest based on INTEREST. You can decide to buy shares, regular treasury bills, 'pension funds', etc.
If one has the money, one can even decide to send Linda Ikeji packing, in the event that one partner dies, or cheated upon.

If this case has to do with your personal experience, pleaseeeeeeeeeee ma'am, do not discuss this with your partner from the viewpoint of 'securing your future', make him understand the value from the viewpoint of business. SINCE you have a roof on your head now, your intentions won't be clear as to why you want another property. Just think about something sustainable ma'am. There are so many options, I can't list all.

Quite elaborate and insightful.Thanks so much sir. I appreciate.

Sir Acidosis,pls I have a question for you,not on this topic though but they are related somehow.

What is the fate of a wife whose husband buys properties in his name only but uses the wife as his next of kin? Thanks.

nice14:
Congrats lizzy may ur lo bring joy to u and family ijn

@prissy dem make her next of kin she dey worry? What if he buy only on his name and then he name his sibling next of kin what will she do?
Let her be hard working, know where all d properties are and then close one eye to sleep
To me i don't see any issue there o
Emm marriage..i remember my mum telling us to work hard and always save for d raining days. Never understood her cos i felt is love all d way
But now i know better.

mama,you really got me laughing with your choice of words. What you said is so true. Thanks alot.

Aunty Lovinam and Zemaye,thanks so much mamas. The input was so wonderful. I appreciate.

tchiwinnie:
@prissyluv, being next of kin doesn't really mean much. It doesn't even mean d woman can lay claim to d land if d man isn't there.
If d man isn't ready to buy d properties in both their names, d woman shld put aside some money and mk some investments of her own.

Congrats @ lizzy22. God bless ur lo.
Amen to all d prayers by our TTC mamas. May God grant ur hearts' desires. 2016 s ur yr!

Thanks ma. Exactly my thought. It is well sha.

Fumbaby:
[quote author=prissyluv

Whether he buy his property in your name or his name all that matters is prayers, side chicks are ready to destroy homes and you won't know when the name will suddenly change, my sis wear the garment of prayer

I don't know why me and my hubby don't care about whose name his on our property, the only thing I care about is how to start a family biz that will carry my children's names, because I don't intend to make the mistake my parents made, my father's name was the only name on our family biz, my aunt sat on everything when he died in 1995 till today she's the landlady and the CEO of my father's garri processing company (waiting patiently for her to pass on)

Thanks so much for the input ma. I am really learning.

Thanks @ Aunty Zaynie and Favoredgal,the wife asked and he told her that whatever is his is hers,he asked her if she is envisaging a problem tomorrow? To him,he sees it as something she should not bother about and told her to 'sleep with her two eyes closed'.