₦airaland Forum

When it comes to help, I honestly noticed the women not helping other women thing, it's really bad, my personal opinion.

But going so far as to wish that no man helps every woman is just odd. There's a relationship between male and female that there isn't between male and male. I think it's better that any spending on women occurs after marriage unless there's strictly no strings attached. But even if there's spending, do you flirt with other men,get other men attracted , or date or have sexual relations with them? Capable of bearing kids for them? Because these are the interactions that enable this money spending you're so against and angry about.

There's an epidemic of men dressing like women or dl(down low) men. It's really starting to look like you really want to be women. It's also looking like jealousy. A lot of men don't like women because of the advantages, forgetting that there are disadvantages too.

Dtruthspeaker:
You already know it that men are not bad like you people for men do not easily have bad intentions unlike you people. So our comment are nearly always bona fide and truthful and are spoken based on the what is in front of us. We are not saying it to make any one feel bad.

It is just like you see all of us describing the guy who was beaten into looking like ninja turtles so is it when we see something wrong like small back, or breas with no back or breasless chest etc. It is all free comments born out of wonder.

And the only reason why you women go cannons over it is because you can see that it tells you that your olosho plans are not going to be fruitful.

If not, you would have been like dwarfffs and men who have irregular legs who are still happy and normal knowing that na so God create them. You don't see them desperately trying to correct it.

All these is because your oloshoing is threatened

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Ok.

I'm glad you touched on this. There are emotional and mental reasons for taking decisions, aside the calculative and clearly selfish ones. We cannot exclude those reasons because every normal human being has numerous feelings that lead to decision making.

Acknowledging this helps us to understand the pattern and perhaps note where to curb it. It also doesn't negate the ladies that took the decision from taking responsibility for their decision.

But one thing I don't like is men trying to insist that those other contributors, the mockery and all, shouldn't be mentioned because it's not realistic. Those ARE pushing factors. We can't ignore them simply because men don't want any bit of the blame. I repeat, it doesn't negate the responsibility of those actions being on the ladies themselves.

I will address all aspects of this matter equally, or hope to, by God's grace.

On this issue, I noticed something. I noticed that things such as childbirth, having children, home labor of caring for the house and handling the man's personal items, keeping them in order, are not even considered to be work or contributions by the men that commented on this thread.

This makes me think that most men on this thread and perhaps, some men in real life, do not consider all the things I mentioned above to be valuable contributions which add to the home. They really went ahead and said that the woman adds nothing to the man's life. It is wrong to come home to a clean house, well fed children and you personal items in order, yet assume that the woman does nothing because she didn't go to work like you.

Childbirth is a thing that reduces a woman's strength and body for life. Going through it is a struggle between life and death. It should not be overlooked.

House chores are gruelling and so is taking care of kids. Men should stop the habit of overlooking these things because I noticed that most men cannot do these, they cannot stand it, yet they look at it as nothing and are ungrateful about it. That's wrong.

It is also wrong that apart from failing to appreciate the efforts of the woman in these aspects, the husband cannot help her in them, yet, he feels angry that his wife isn't helping him in his aspect of burdens. But that problem stems from the fact that the man saw childbirth, raising of kids, and domestic labor as nothing in the first place. If all these are so easy, why do people get paid to care for your home, if you need household labor from someone you employed. If it was so easy, nobody would pay, and pay well at that. If the wife does all these, I don't think she is lazy.

Still, it is important for her not to lose herself in the domestic work world, and constantly keep improving herself. It is not easy, but it's necessary so she can measure up to her husband's intellectual, financial and status level in the future. I don't think it's fair to ask your wife to contribute financially if the settings are totally traditional, the kids are still so small and hence very demanding as per the care and attention they need, but then... Women find themselves in competition with others outside and most prefer to keep their homes, so, if she can't take another woman's takeover, she has to run hard and improve herself so her and her husband can be fulfilled with each other.

Apart from that, well, if the man feels he's going through too much pressure and needs her help...sigh. He might not want to help her in her own work, but she has to try and balance it all with a job or business so as to show consideration towards him. I think the man cannot see her efforts in other things, so she just has to turn up where he believes in, which is financial support.

Lastly, for herself, for her kids, for the future, she has to be doing something. Though it won't be now when the kids are so small. Financial dependence is not something she should be happy to carry long term. A wife should be ready for financial crisis, death, or any misfortune. She has to have what will keep her and the kids afloat should anything happen. As hard as it is for a woman, life goes on after childbirth and marriage. 50 50 should be in both the domestic and financial aspects, though men cannot give birth, so the scale isn't quite evened out.

Sorry about the pain you are going through, man. Perhaps you need patience, enough to put your wife through an actual course, to learn well what will turn into a business skill for her. Perhaps find ways to ease the domestic burdens on her and then she will engage in business better. Not only that, she will become a financial partner that you can discuss and relate with intellectually. All these good things I wish for you both.

May your burdens be reduced, may you appreciate your wifes efforts at home, and may your wife improve in that financial aspect so you can appreciate and respect her even more.

Hier:
Afraid for her, how, she will live her life and get married. The man just needs to accept that life happens

There are men that care about this your theory, and there are men that don't. The ones that don't agree show themselves when faced with this kind of situation. When they show themselves, it's very ugly.

Men don't have any right to hurt a woman under such circumstances but they do. The world does what it likes.

It's just not worth the risk she took letting a guy that she wasn't going to marry fund her. We all know how guys think so why collect his money when you won't marry or accept him.
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Not just worth the risk jare.

Why enslave and destroy the life of another human being just because you want to feel like a king.

I mean, somebody birthed and toiled over those women for years. Now you want to reduce their purpose and existence to worshipping you. Just so you can feel okay. Only a narcissist can see this as okay.

I am afraid for her.

Never, never ever.

RollinTNDA:
Person go get bully for school still get bully for workplace??

As if those people ever go on vacation. They are bullies for life. The fact that y'all grew up and started going to work doesn't concern them. The only thing people respect is consequence.

She took the decision in the midst of grief and a feeling of belittlement and degradation. Joining in with them must have been humiliating for her, money or not.

She was still deep emotionally when she caught them. Money isn't everything, even with money, she would still feel small and unimportant and hurt seeing that. Money or no, it is something that can cause someone a heart attack on seeing it unexpectedly.

She might only have been able to walk away immediately if she's emotionally strong or already detached emotionally. If not....well, you have this scenario.

Talking with any other person than your spouse about emotional issues, whether yours or theirs, is a danger zone. And if the person is falling for you, you are leading them on by being available for their emotional vents. No married person should be available for any persons emotional vents. Except their partner.

It can easily lead to emotional cheating, where you are more emotionally tied to them than even your partner, or if you are equally emotionally tied to them on the same level as your partner.

It's wrong, it's inappropriate, especially as a married person. Cut ties immediately. If you need an emotional romantic reconnection, communicate with your partner.

Remember that trend about people who felt they've made it? Everyone had a funny response to keep it going. I don't care that it's over, but a set of people's arrogance is just incredulous to me.

The people that feel they've made it and in fact make it their job to rate or mock others the most in my opinion, include those salesgirls, attendants in restaurants or shops, and security men, don't forget security men. In some cases, vigilante.

Those people can rate customers top to toe. If you don't buy something expensive, they are professionals at mockery. If they don't think you wore something expensive enough, if they use their rating and you are local in their eyes or you can't tip them big, they are good at eyeballing and giggling amongst themselves. Some of them, if you enter their shops which, no be saying na them get the things, na madams property - they would mock you subtly if you can't buy anything big. Some people would even buy what they didn't plan to buy to avoid mockery.

It's only those driving cars into buildings that the security people regard. And they would treat anyone who doesn't drive a car or tip them like nobody.

It's just funny to me because they would be rating people for what they themselves can't buy, for a lifestyle that they can't afford, which is why they are doing the jobs they're doing. How can you now be laughing at customers? It's so ironic, odd and funny to me.

IPDGP:
You were raped and first thing is to come online and publicize it,
Somethings should be kept private.
Abi u wan use this too trend

When negative comments are made about men, you say it's not true. Now a crime happened, you don't want her to talk. Abi you want total silence and cover up for men?

No to rape and gender based violence.

You're really blessed to look this good. As for me I have always looked mature (my exact age or older). Starting a journey of better self care this year.

I'm grateful to God for all of us. 🙏

I like a place where they are so uptight about kids rights that any man there will sit up and behave himself, running to ensure he doesn't get caught up in anything inappropriate, even before anyone says a word to him.

Though some of this is tied to racism because definitely a black man will instantly be suspected but on kids protection matters, no man will like to misbehave because the law is very effective.

It is sad. Are people so bad that they would rather have you kill yourself than ask for help? I believe that can be very possible. Also I don't know what people gain from shaming someone who has one little problem or the other so bad, but they do it.

As bad as people can be, I really wish he hadn't killed himself. People carry themselves in deceptive ways, as if they are so smart and they don't have problems but they do. Sometimes living means dragging yourself through each day and fighting the urge to commit suicide. But you hold on. He should have tried to hold on, done anything to hold on and cared less about what people think, because even when one is holding on for dear life, people tend not to have compassion. What matters sometimes when it's worst is not being the one to take your own life. Even if death dey come, let something else other than you cause it.

It's just sad.

I disagree heavily. Maybe you and your friends do.

I doubt she's really been mishandled before. I doubt. Because, hmm. The kind that would land a lady in the psychiatric hospital. The kind that would put a lady in the operating theatre.

I pray she doesn't see the real version of the thing she thinks she likes.

Why are you worried. As a man I am sure nobody will blame you.

radautoworks:
Nice! Rolled up with some Nutella or fruit and 👌🏾

I like all the different things you can put in it, it's nice 😊

radautoworks:
Actually, from what I see the batter was just too thick. Try it again as you did with less flour. Also crank up the heat some.

Thank you 🙏 I will try that.

Tried my crêpes again. Was told that I made something more similar to chewy candy in chef class. Next time I'm reverting back to plain crêpes with no colour added and exactly what I was taught. No more being creative for a while.

I missed out on baking powder and that was the main essential. Ouch.

So, lesson. Don't skip ingredients if you're just learning something.

Kaczynski:
Not enough water .

Really? A tip for next time. 😊

Soupy noodles.

armyofone:
Coming to get one - you tried

My Indian classmates introduced me to the 1st samosa I ate. It was made with goat meat, spices etc and it was very delicious.

All I see now and even in India restaurant is either beef or vegetables samosa.

They have goat meals but not goat meat samosa.
Still searching

Goat meat samosa, I really like that idea. Maybe I'll use it to score points in chef class one day 😂

Thanks for acknowledging my effort 😂

Well I don't know why that particular type of samosa disappeared but hopefully, you'll find it.

pocohantas:
Wow!
It looks very beautiful. I thought it was sliced fondants. Lol! I am sure kids would love it.

Thank you so much 🩷🩷🩷

pocohantas:
These are edible??

Yep. Just the 'sister' of pancakes with food colouring

I had to do a lot of tries before getting my samosa done...my cousin and her friends at school said they liked this and I should make more. 😊

I just put filling to compensate them 😂
But they did say they liked it a lot so...

This pan method of making samosa sheets isn't working for me. I think I'll try the dough method.

I made crêpes for breakfast. My kid liked them because of the colours 😁

As an upcoming chef, I think I tried 🙂

I just hope he genuinely wants to change and is not trying to impress one girl o.

Because if it’s a church girl he’s trying to impress.

He’s probably expecting her to pay a price for his absolute devotion.

And if she doesn’t ‘pay’…

Ahem.

I just hope it’s not a girl and if it is, things should go well.

omooba969:
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Showing us these delicacies, and now knowing it's your mum's birthday without dropping ya location is not good enough o.

Don't go into 2026 with this attitude o.

😅

Happy new year and thanks for the heads up, I will turn a new leaf…😁

pocohantas:
Happy birthday to your mum. I wish her more years in good health.

The jollof looks yum!
Did you cook it?

Thanks for the good wishes dear, happy new year!

Yes o, na me cook the jollof. Mom liked it. 😊

radautoworks:
happy birthday to Mom and may she see her great-grandchildren!

Thank you! Amen and happy new year!