₦airaland Forum

He hurt you badly and you are considering taking him back simply bcz he said he's sorry.

My dear this, is another of his lies. If you take him back, you will experience the worst deception ever known to man. Walk away fast and don't even try to look back.

A cheat/lier will always be so unless with Gods intervention.

Here's how you can stop your self from taking him back, let your memory of him be the pain and tears he made you go through, block your mind to the good times you had together Cz am very certain the bad ones out weighs them. Remember the sleepless and hungry nights you went through Cz of him and allow d picture of his bad attitude which you choose to ignore play constantly in you head.


Love is not blind, it chooses to ignore. You can walk away if you so wish.

Op thinks his wise but in reality he's not even close to it.

If men were made to philander I wonder who they are to do it with; animals?

Hmmm!! This is so me except for the number one. Am punctual only if am interested but if am not, you go wait till eternity does that make me a good girl?

For the first time I had to click on your link Cz your first points got me. It was as of you were describing me.

Nice one

I see her in nollywood soon. My dear, this is just a blessing, a way to shot you to limelight. I don't even know her until now. Was even wondering which industry is kannywood.

Bunch of hypocrites.

Hausas are the most hypocritical beings; you can't blame then, their religion permits it.

My dear rejoice for your lord is good. Welcome to nollywood.


She is indirectly extending invitation to nollywood in her write up. Smart girl

awelekiti:
It goes beyond what you think. It's better imagined than experienced. Instead of filing for a divorce, involving her family where he married her from will solve the problem.

Why will he consider divorce for some thing so simple? The marriage have so far be going well until now (so I think). Did he even consider the fact that she may be telling the truth? If he involves family members, we both know the highest that will happen is for them to prostrate and beg him not to divorce her.

So if he will eventually forgive her, why involve family? Two is a company, three is a crowd not who it is. Not every issue one have to take to family members except when they can't sort it between them selves.

In my opinion it's not a serious issue the way he made it look. Except there's something he's not saying.

If the marriage have been going smoothly before now, I think he should forgive and take her back. If he divorce her, what's the certainty that his next woman won't be worse?

awelekiti:
It's appalling many people didn't blame the lady for lying, shame! In as much a I'm not in support of what the lady did, I'd just advise you escalate the matter to her family, instead of divorcing her. If she apologises, forgive her for the sake of your little kids. The age difference has nothing to do with your marriage but the greatest mistake she made was hiding it from you fro inception. There's a local adage which says you don't hide your body from the one who will eventually bury you. She ought to have known that someday, you'd get to know about her age. If she had declared her real age to you, that shouldn't mean you'd not marry her if truly you loved her before you guy got married. After all, age is nothing but a number. My mum is 5 years older than my dad and they're happily married. I think this is the trend amongst single women of nowadays. They are always afraid that men would abandon them once they declare their real age. Dare Art Alade is much younger than his wife but they're happily married. There are also many couples with similar instances today. So, forgive her [b]but report her to her family [/b]who can handle the matter better, instead of filing for a divorce.

Why report her to the family over something he can easily handle? Must every simple issue get to the family? This is between them, he should handle it like a man.

The mistake is so very possible!! The wife may not be lieing. It happened to me, mine was even worst Cz the names too were miss spelled. At the point of collecting my result I noticed the mistake, I immediately notified the principal who in turn gave me a letter "TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN" I became a regular face in waec office all in a bid to rectify it but to no avail. I was told by the waec staff to get an affidavit from court to back up the letter from the school. They can't rectify it once it's printed.


But even if she truly lied, divorce is too extreme for something this small. Unless maybe you were contemplating it before d discovery. If not, I will say go and enjoy your marriage and forgive her sins.

I think I've found love on nl

romanticdude:
yea am d one ofcourse.why do u ask??av been on Nairaland for two years now..just changed my old account that's all..I wld really like us to be friends that's if u would kindly reply my pm so we'd talk more. Besides where are u basedI just hope ur arnd this region tho..

You sure sound like the type of girl i wld love to make my woman..

What's your previous moniker?

romanticdude:
newbiee? Am not a newbie av been on nl for a while...my old account isnt functioning anyomore that's why I opened a new one..so am not a newbie.I just like u..Am steve am based in Kaduna and u I sent u a pm

Am usually sceptical about any account registered from January this yr.

Is that you on your profile?

The lady in question already said she must marry him I wonder what she need advice for!!


She can live with it! Let him be having twosome, party with she and her friends.

Zackpraise:
Ask you Mum...she will xplain beta

You needn't bring my mum into this! can't you state your opinion without going that path!!

Am a well brought up girl, I know what is expected of me.

I asked this question Cz of d numerous thread about what is expected of women. One even told us to become zombies even when our husbands are cheating. Another said his fiancée can't wash/refused to wash his clothes! Like seriously is that even suppose to be an issue?

She can decide to help if she wish to but she's under no obligation to do so. What happened to his hands?

And pls learn to communicate without referring to people's parents.

Only if the poor girl knows that introduction is not marriage.

Are you ready to get married anytime soon? If not pls don't do it so she won't feel deceived latter.

Just allow her take her time she may eventually come around.

Op sex is not everything o!! let the poor girl be

To be a strong woman you have to fight alone.

Faith, desire, imagination and persistence will bring you success.

Kudos to her

romanticdude:
hi baby girl

You registered today and you easily find your way into this thread! Wow!! So much for a newbie.

romanticdude:
hi baby girl

Never knew this thread is still on

Tallesty1:
Keep quiet

If you don't like the thread, you need not comment. Besides, you weren't invited.

Good morning house, it's a new month and a beautiful morning. Happy new month and Independence Day to us.

Recently I have been thinking about the role of a woman in the life of a man, I can't help but wonder why so much is expected of a woman and not the man.

In this present generation, a woman is expected to work, to bring something to the table in terms of finance in order to cushion the effect on the man, share in his responsibilities as the head of the house and still carry out her wifely duties/ responsibilities as a woman without complain. Am an advocate of women being independent and helping out their man in anyway they can, but the question here is this, why can't they also help in our expected duties?

Biblically/ islamically a man is suppose to take full care of his wife and kids, everything, down to her smallest need the reason most Muslim/ Hausa women are house wives. she in turn is expected to do her duties as d wife while he provides the finance but westernisation have made women to strive for independence and share in the duties of a man which is a good thing.

But why can't they also share in our duties? What is wrong for a man to help his wife in doing the laundry, cook, take care of the kids and clean up the house every once in a while? If am to help out in his God ordained duties, he should also be willing to help out in mine.

Cc, Toks2008

Safarigirl

Talktobella

Berbieklaus
Contactmorack

Let's here your opinion...

From the above chat, you are the one with the issue how can you forget her middle name after two yrs in r/ship?you dismissed it as nothing and expect her to be happy. No apology whatsoever.

Another girl uses your pic as her dp and you saw no reason for her to complain.

From your response to her, I think you are tired of the r/ship

I see no dolphins even after the circle.

I don't have a dirty mind, I saw what is there.

Berbierklaus:
[b]Grandpa no one asked you for your life history,so please relax and take to corrections.

if You were my husband/boyfriend,I would have told You to "shutup and listen" I said "Relax" coz You are my grandpa

Now to the argument You both are having,Everyone has an opinion,trust me I have come to understand You and your writeups,(You are only been realistic while most of us are striving to be idealistic).The challenge is finding a balance because all these rules and regulations for marriages and relationships are unique to every relationship,some men don't take NO,no matter how submissive the wife is(been realistic,I'm sure You will agree with me) and some men are in awe or their wives and a very agressive NO will do the trick(I'm been realistic),so the problem I have with most of your rightups is that "they are not a standard for relationships,coz every relationship is unique" but from your tone of words,You type like that's all that should be done because it is in the "BIBLE" forgetting that even Jesus said in "MARK 2:27" The sabbath(law) was made for man not man for the sabbath(law),
meaning most of this bible injunctions can be used uniquely not universally. (I hope You know what happened in that verse and why he made that statement?).


secondly,I want to say I agree with your rightup once again,although it is a little bit flawed "to me". Any idiot can see the emphasis You made on "WIVES SUBMISSION" I think its good but I also think it would have been appropriate if You emphasized as much on the "HUSBAND's LOVE". (I think this is where most relationship experts get it wrong).

Now lets use the scripture You qouted as an example,did You realise that Ephesians 5:33 has two parts(part A and B)
Did You realise that part A was talking to the husband?
Ephesians 5:33
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself
Did You realise that the bible spoke to the husband first? That tells You that Submission is "EARNED" so its flawed for You to say "THE BIBLE SAID THAT THE WIFE MUST BE SUBMISSIVE TO HER HUSBAND NO MATTER WHAT"







because grandpa,the bible has put an unspoken condition in that verse,(You can't respect/submit to your abusive father,You "FEAR" him,likewise if You say wives should be submissive unconditionally,You are only telling her to "FEAR" him,that is not submission according to the bible)

Part B
[color=#000055]Ephesians 5:33
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord[/color]

Every man that loves his wife,automatically has earned her respect and submission,it is a known fact,and a man that doesn't love his wife(cheating on her "glaringly" abuse her,doesn't do his roles as a husband etc) will be "FEARED" not respected/submitted to).

So grandpa,all this tunranchi is what the bible is preaching(Idealistic) not what our pastors are interpreting the bible to, not what You have interpreted the bible to,which is sadly the (realistic) point of what we have in the world today because our religious leaders have knowingly or unknowingly led some men astray by repeatedly preaching and emphasizing on "SUBMISSION" while skimming through "LOVE".

The kingdom of God is a hot race,I fear for most people,as I have come to a stage in my salvation where,I read and ask the holy spirit to interpret and explain what this really means to me,instead of listening to one marriage counsel/counsellor and corrupting my heavenly journey .

I hope You will settle down and read my epistle,and may the holy spirit help You to realise the truth.[/b]

Honey you nailed it! I needn't say more.

Wow how sweet bye bye to heart break and cheating with the excuse "am a man"

jorion:
when will girls stop being hypocrites. the girl damaged her relationship herself. i used to be in his shoes so i know the damage a girl like that can do. except the guy feels comfortable sharing her, he should walk away. i still have my emotional scars to prove how deadly such relationships can be.fyi, if a girl stores my name with any name that does not include Joshua, i would take a walk.

Lollzx!! So you use you woman's shoe to judge his right?? Very funny. I have my own emotional scars too. I will refer you to my thread; letter to my ex" go read it if you have the time.

But let me tell you this, using your case to judge other people is very bad, it maybe a complete different situation with same signs but that doesn't make it the same.

Am didn't say she's not cheating, I only said he should get his fact right before concluding.

jorion:
op, don't mind all these people telling you to prove the allegations. you can never catch a girl cheating except you saw her chat, you caught her red handed(and both parties must be in bed together or it can still be denied) or she tells you, and a girl will never admit except you are the side guy. if you're waiting for proof, might as well wait for Christ

Please do not destroy someone's relationship when there can still be a chance to salvage it.

What will you gain by crucifying someone on mere suspicion? Let's say he ends it bcz he feels she's cheating, he starts another one, suspects her too and walked. Pls tell me, how long will he continue?

Almost everyone usually have this feeling of suspicion in a r/ship especially when your partner starts behaving strange, but is it enough to conclude there's someone else? It could be other things apart from cheating you just have to be patient enough to find out else you will end up crucifying people wrongly and punishing your self for nothing.

LadyMercedes:
With a face like yours, which lady in her right mind would follow you to your mother? Nwoke m, nodi odu!

Hahahs you really cracked me up

Maxi112:
hahahahah so ima asu igbo? odiegwu oh, [b]echabumu si gi na king si ofu eba? It has been there since 19bc [/b]so you having trust issue?

No biggy, can you stand the sight of another? Ma ijiri aya gi fu ha?

You girls will never cease to amuse me, even cooking cleaning isn't enugh to keep a man, yes!

Amaro mu ebe osi'. Trust issues? Naaah; I trust men well enough to cheat when ever their cheating instinct awakes. Men will always be men but I don't trust my self to forgive my man if I catch him cheating

As for standing the sight! Yes I can. Reason is because I expect the worst and hope/pray for the best that way, when am hit, I will trip but I won't fall. I will still have the strength to shake the dust off and move on

I can't fit come and go and ki ma sef bcz of a man.

Maxi112:
loooooolz you need help asap

Person like me, go use mouth finish you on top of one small cloth I will not even allow you dry them for me

Is not fair oh, you guys should learn to help us sometimes.... we might not ask you to help us but crave for it


Help when you around or someone else will
[b][/b]

Hahaha eji' someone else will" amapu nmadu obi odiegwu!! Whether you wash or not someone else will still be there; she will help to f*ck him so what's the fuse here?

Cooking and cleaning the house when am around is enough help. If that one no do, his on his own o!

youngds:
Op. You were too emotional, not patient even pretend and gathered enough evidence or better still catch her on the act before you bust the bubble, now she thinks you're been childish for your attitude & trust me it would be very difficult for you to prove a thing cos she will definitely make everything looks like it your fault.

Don't ignore this above quote

She knows your girl

Exactly my point. Even if she is cheating, he can't prove it. He acted childishly and now he's killing himself over something he can't prove nor sure about.

Maxi112:
will you be comfortable watching your man wash and rinse cloth in your presence while you seat and gist, huh?


ain't asking you to wash, but can you stand the sight of him washing cloths when you around?

Hia!! Why not? I will bring chair sit and gist with him while he wash his clothes I may just help him to dry after he rinses them.

This wasn't the original pic of this lady, someone photoshopped it massively.

Often times than not, being in love means being foolish.

Op your topic should have been ways to woo a girl and not signs to know a true girl friend. Your topic some how contradicts your message.


Besides I believe every one on Nl understands English.