₦airaland Forum

[quote author=the_ripper]Uncouth words like dat don't just fall off from a lady's lips, they are mostly premeditated. One doesn't just insult one's family .

@OP, leave d stupeeed girl except e get wetin she dey give u or wash put inside ur" EFO"[/quote]Thank You bro. say No more. CC @blink

Rap maestro: I'm tempted 2 do d 1st 2 comment stuff but i'm matured dan dat joorh
..anyway Best of luck 2 her o.. I pray God heals her.. 1st 2 comment

[size=14pt]You werent matured afterall. Too bad.[/size]

2 score and 13 years ago, our beloved country came into existence. Since then we’ve made marvellous strides on the road to progress, striving valiantly to make sure the Federal Republic of Nigeria is regarded with respect in the International Community. But there’s always just that one guy who’s like: “Nah mehn, this can’t happen.”

We’re using this post to acknowledge the efforts of the Ten Nigerians who’ve made the most individual efforts to make us look bad. And to let them know it’s okay, God is watching. He will judge.

TOP TEN WORST NIGERIANS, EVER

[size=14pt]PRESIDENTS
[/size]GENERAL SANI ABACHA
https://miabaga.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/00000.jpg


We’re not going to go into the factual debate of whether you were, as a matter of fact, the worst Leader we ever had. All we’re saying is that in the court of public opinion, you’re ratings couldn’t be any worse.

All we’re saying is that people had a lot of complaints about some of the stuff that went down during your regime. All we’re pointing out is that an entire nation shouldn’t have been so elated to see you leave office.

“Thanks for being the face of non-democracy Africa needed“. -Said no Nigerian, ever.

[size=14pt]POLITICS
[/size]MR. TORONTO
There comes a point in every man’s life where you have to make a choice: Am I, you’ll ask, going to be a man of integrity and honesty, or am I going to lie boldfaced about my age and schooling? The choice is never easy, but maybe the events which often follow will enable you make the right decision. Here’s this guy, eager to serve his nation, just wanst to be Speaker Of The House, so what does he do? Falsifies his age. Which is a common enough occurrence but he takes it one step

further by saying he got a degree from the University of Toronto. That’s the sort of lie that’s very easy to discover. Like my friend would say, “You always have to remember that our oyinbo brothers have a working database.”

That’s the sort of lie that just makes an entire Country look like they don’t know what they’re doing.

Still not proud of you, Salisu Buhari, still not proud.

MR DOES-THIS-DRESS-MAKE-ME-LOOK-FAT?

Okay, so you looted public funds. No big deal, lots of pubic officials do that. So you got caught. Well that happens to criminals, nothing unique there. So you ran away, fled the country, became a fugitive on the run. We understand that. No one would want to spend time in prison. But that’s as far as we can go with you compadre. As soon as you decided to disguise yourself as a woman and sneak across international boundaries, you lost us. We could not walk down that road with you, Sir.
Imagine what our envoys to the UN felt like, after news of your shenanigans.
[img]http://miabaga.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Alamieyeseigha.jpg/img]

[size=14pt]SPORTS[/size]
MR I-THINK-I’LL-JUST-STAY-BACK-AND-WATCH-SOME-TV

Every one remembers how Team Nigeria went for the London Summer Olympics and returned with not much to show for it. Lord bless em, this post isn’t about them. It’s about the Sports Official who went with them and along the way got embroiled in some scandal. It would seem that the fellow racked up a hotel bill watching adult entertainment. And when accosted by hotel officials with it, he did what any of us would do in those circumstances, he flatly denied it. “What? I’ve never even seen a TV before,” he might have said. but probably didn’t.

We don’t know if you did this, or if maybe you were set up, or if it was just some mistake. All we know is we didn’t send you to the Olympics to get involved in this sort of drama.

It would seem that while they laboured out on the track and field, Team Nigeria wasn’t the only thing getting beaten.

If you know what I mean.
https://miabaga.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/images_Gaya_170644070.jpg


[size=14pt]BUSINESS[/size]
THE MAN NAMED FRED ADUJUA
https://miabaga.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/ajudua.jpg

Here’s the guy responsible for the bad rap we get as a nation of fraudsters and scam artists. He may not be the first to have started it, but boy, did he put a lot of effort into perfecting the art. Here’s how you know this guy is good: 1)He’s still mostly at large. 2) there’ no picture of him available online 3) a lot of very angry people are looking for him.

[size=14pt]TRAVEL[/size]
THAT GUY, MUTALLAB
https://miabaga.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Mutallab_392063739.jpg

Never before have we as a nation, so wholeheartedly and unitedly wished to disown anybody. We were all like: “What?

Nigerian? Him? Nah,there must be some mistake… Did you check the records well? Find out who his family is? Cross check his DNA to be sure he wasn’t adopted?”
There was something about his shifty eyes that just said he did not belong. Attempting to blow up planes is something Nigerians just don’t do my lad.
You cant just go around making an entire nation look bad.

Oh, and I know two other things you cant just do. You can’t just take a trip to the beach, and you can’t just go and hang out in the park with friends. Why? Because you’re in prison. For being a jerk. Stay away.

[size=14pt]MUSIC[/size]
MISS WHATS THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY TO EMBARRASS AN ENTIRE COMMUNITY?

<object width="560" height="315"><param name="movie" value="
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDFDWs3oh0A?version=3&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed

Please come home. Don’t do this.
Please take down your Youtube account. Please come home.

[size=14pt]ART AND PHOTOGRAPHY[/size]
MR AND MRS THIS-IS-GOING-TO-LOOK-GOOD

There’s always that one guy, like I’ve said. Here we all are, striving for progress and national development. Then that one guy discovers an innocuous tool such as Photoshop, perhaps. The question on his mind at the time, I suppose is not: “How do I use this tool to best move my nation forward?” But, “How best do I take this thing and use it to embarrass myself, my friends, my family and the members of my local community?”

We don’t know who you are, but you’re not helping.

https://miabaga.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/BCNDKq4CEAA0m6_.jpg

Neither are you

https://miabaga.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/BCqD3tGCQAAfFs0.jpg

[size=14pt]FILM AND CINEMATOGRAPHY[/size]
MR IBU

Surely Sir, it comes as no surprise to see you here. You’re like the uncle whose visit puts sever strain on a marriage. We’ve seen some of your movies…and we suppose you’re just doing your job. But that’s really no excuse, we think. No excuse at all.

One more movie. You are allowed one more movie and after that we’ll consider you a national risk.
https://miabaga.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/okafor-mr-ibu-173541_266x266.png
[img]http://3.bp..com/-H5w06zq1yX0/UE9tD77CgsI/AAAAAAAAAJA/fYCPnNuGNWg/s240/Mr%2BIbu.jpg[/img]

SOURCE

peeps, its just for laffs o.

26. MK3 630.

Looks more like a publicity stunt to me. Even if it looks real. And his manager isnt smart at all. Why would an ailing person allow them take pictures of him on the sick bed while being treated? The guy should go and sit down jor.

God Go do our own pretty sooon. Amen!

[quote author=gmc-biz]wow 401kbps! thats great, mtn is excellent in ur area
i only get maximum 300kbps



it depends on what u love most, foreignn movies? music? nollywood?[/quote]omo this is not mtn o.Its neither multilinks. I like foreign movies. Er...Is there any way i can get voucher for tunnel guru from you? maybe next week tho. theres a way you can download torrent using IDM. Guys now this is pretty fast men. I wont want to share so much details into it here so they dont block it. Its free info by the way. If you are interested just hit me up via PM

I say make i post this one for una viewing pleasure. And until These Service providers decide to do whats right and stop ripping Nigerians off, we no go stop to dey rip them off too. I am even looking for what to download. Please someone give me a link. And the downloads better be in GB.

[img]http://2.bp..com/-8KCFc3x3oBo/UJ_GFi3BM2I/AAAAAAAAAcE/p1-N_LuP-1g/s1600/friend-zone-girl-meme-generator-you-are-so-amazing-i-wish-i-could-find-a-guy-like-you-2c373c.jpg[/img]

https://xaxor.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Friend-zone-themed-pics30.jpg

I’d been hearing about it since I was a kid. It’s this really incredible place where you’re condemned to hearing about the shenanigans of other guys from this object of your lustful (or maybe not so lustful) affections. And you simply will never hit that. In this life or the next. So you’re there for her. You doo things for her, in the hopes that one day, one day corruption will stop in Nigeria. Wait what? What am I talking about? Sorry! In the hopes that one day a flock of pigs will fly and give you good luck. Ugh sorry again! I got carried away. Well you get the idea.To be really honest, there’s nothing wrong with the friend-zone (I hear 2pac and Biggie live there together). Everybody needs a friend. But nobody wants to be a victim of un-requited lust.

https://the-funny-pictures.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/friend-zone-2-288x300.jpg

I’ll tell you a small story. There’s no man without at least one of these stories. I don’t care who you are; Casanova or Don Quixote, you’ve taken a left turn and landed in the FZ. Back to the story; so I was this gangly teenager in my freshman year in College. There was this really hot girl in my class that was the end-all, be-all of my fantasies. God was she hot (let’s forget that I saw her recently and she was frumpy as my grandma’s prom dress). She was friends with my cousin who was also in freshman class. So the “in”, was easy. We hit it off immediately. Had her laughing in 10 seconds flat. I’m feeling you, I said. She had a boyfriend, she said. She handed me my tenancy agreement; I like you, I want you around. You know, in my life. She was nice enough to say at least. I signed that tenancy agreement in blood, man.

I won’t go into all my travails in that forbidden forest but I’ll share the event turned around my life as a wussball. It was summer-heatwave hot. We were trying to get off-campus and there was no student transport for some reason and we had quite a distance to trek to get out of the campus and find alternative transport. I wasn’t given to such a torturous walk. Landlady was insistent and so I agreed. I mean who argues with their Landlady. Besides, it meant more time with the object of my affection. We were half-way through this long walk when she got a call. It turned out to be one of ‘toasters’ she rolled her eyes as she picked. I chuckled what a sucker. As they talked he pulled up right next to us. Jump in, he said. And she did, without second thought. She had told me he was a scumbag that only wanted to jump her bones. Sleaze-bag she had called him and such. Who was I to judge? It was respite. Then I tried to open the backseat door. Lol. It was locked. The window came down, and the cold room A/C blew onto my skin. Lord. I’ll see you later, WS, she said. Mwaah.
Yes, mwaah. I was halfway through a one mile walk I didn’t want to take and all I had for a companion was a Mwaah. Unicorns died in my heart, bro.
Hahahaha. In retrospect, it’s funny as hell. And I’m laughing hard as I type this. But lord. Sweat mixed with tears, my brother, so I trudged. Let’s get back to you. You’ve been or are in that forbidden country, let’s help you find your way home.
1. Be honest from the get-go. Yes You want her. Don’t be creepy about it, but be honest. You want to hit that. Simple. As an example, I’ve said these exact words to a young woman before. “Hi, my name is WS, I think you just might be hot enough for me to, against all odds, fornicate with you. Come with me please” let’s forget that she was a total blonde and I had to explain the biblical concept of fornication to her. But oh fornicate, we did. The idea is to lay your cards out from the get-go so there are no misconceptions. True, nobody wants to be the pervert that tells a woman his real intentions (Girls want to have fun, guys want to f–err play scrabble ). But it’s what you want anyway! Why lie about, and hide it?

https://chattcougar.com/speculatorvision/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Friend-Zone-2.png

2. This should actually be rule number one. Establish the framing. In fact in all your dealings with women, this should be your Bible and Torah and Tasbih. Let me explain. We live in a society where the frame is toward the feminine imperative. How? The heroes in most stories are working hard to please/win the affections of some woman some where. Django went through all of that BS, not for a bag of gold but to meet his Brumhilde. Explains why his D is silent, in my quiet opinion. There’s the Prince in Snow White who slayed dragons and shii just to kiss a comatose woman. It goes on and on. Most guys want to get rich so they can get all the beaches they want, really. It’s the sad fact. Back to her. She’s used to guys jumping through hoops to be with her. Some splash money, some splash lyrics. Just so she can choose them. No, break that. You chose/choose/will choose her. In as subtle a manner as possible, you need to reverse the onus of choice to you. So you’re the one who decides whether or not y’all are getting together or not. So if you’re friends, let it be that it so happened because you caused it to be so, not as an incidental occurrence.

https://fakeplus.com/pictures/jpg/stop-crying-about-being-in-the-friend-zone_20120401172749.jpg

3. Kill your scarcity mentality. This ranks right up there with number 2. Most guys act like if they don’t get a particular girl, they will literally drop to the ground and die. She’s hot or worse, she’s a great girl and you fell in love. In the words of the Yoruba people, yeekpa. Big deal. You’ll find another if she doesn’t jell. You meet a girl, you want her, she doesn’t want you. Sorry sah, okay bye. There will be others. If you live to be hundred, you’ll meet hundred women for every year you’ve lived. You’ll score with 20% depending on how persuasive you are. 20 hot women a lifetime is better than dying at the FZ altar. You’re a prize, my man. You need to remember that. There are too many wuss-balls in this life for you not to be the special one. It’s the unfortunate fact but you will always find women that will proverbially jiggle your golf-balls.

READ COMPLETE STORY

[size=14pt]Pampers Private Scul Alaka
Loral Sec Sch. Agbara
Gloryland Sec sch Surulere
Redeemer's Uni. YAY!!!
University of St. Gallen *blushing* [/size]

azukaazuka: good

www.nairaland.com/attachments/998303_ALL_IN_ONE_SIM_1_jpgea9cb9b490911603a00e18f0b16686a8

[size=14pt]Does UniLag use the Global sim too? [/size]

[quote author=Brand_new]I finally found one.
Never knew I had someone this good right under my nose.
Below is sample logo's for a clothing and Apparels store.[/quote]interesting

ba7man: It shouldn't be by their "suits"...it should be by their "works".

Trust me, when we start seeing Nigerian residents in SUITS, then and only then would we know that the younger generation has taken over the government..

Ikenna351: We have temperature switch and CTS. Temperature switch controls the temperature guage on the instrument cluster, while CTS determines the fuel consumption when engine is cold and hot.

So, i think you and your mechanic are mixing things up.

Ikenna.

Oh so they are totally two distinct items? wow!

I noticed my vehicle consumed fuel m than normal and I took it to Iyana-Itire, the home of VW and Audi cars in Lagos i guess. The guy there told me its my CTS (coolant temperature sensor) but over there its called temperature switch. After he changed it and all, well to the best of my knowledge at the point from when i left there to when i got home, i just did a test on it and found that the consumption was quite low and the next day when i took it to work i discovered the temperature needle moved rapidly above 90 and was about going to 110 if i continued in traffic, something it hasnt done before even in the worst of holdups. short and long of it is that i personally took the new temp switch off and put min eback and found that the problem stopped but fuel consumption is still quite high. Any thoughts on that?

mavtrevor: PDPROXY servers are overloaded and slow these days...we should begin to look for other good vpn's....any recommendations?

I think its tunne guru o. that thing is a beast.

MTN AND MULTI LINKS ON TUNNEL GURU, WHICH IS FASTER SEF? Er..i think my premium account expires today on tunnel guru and i am wondering if gmc-biz had vouchers he can sell to me. that aside, whasup with pdproxy? those guys are really slarking and i used to beleive them alot.

nekaa: I see......

keep seeing o. Lol