₦airaland Forum

WackyJ1:
To be honest Midnighter is a very confused girl and it has become apparent to every single male here.

I engaged her and educated her and she gave up in a matter of speaking.
See here: https://www.nairaland.com/5547427/broke-up-double-dating-girlfriend/24#84396493

I thought it had ended there only to come and see that she is still making threads here.

It is clear. She is doesn't like the OP for ignoring the girl.
She always ends up blaming the op for the actions of the girl.

She has blamed him for the girl cheating on him.





She has also blamed him for the girl drinking poison and attempting to kill herself.
It's funny because she acknowledges that the girl is stupid and manipulative but somehow ends those posts where she acknowledges the foolishness and manipulative nature of the girl by blaming the guy for not seeking her definition of closure.

See an example here:


She also makes my point here about being unhappy that the OP is ignoring the girl. She has called the action of the OP ignoring the girl Childish and Infantile. She has called it Cheap Revenge.



A man was cheated on. He decides to ignore the girl and move on with his life quietly. Yet, his action which brings no harm to anyone is being called Cheap Revenge. Are we not seeing that there is an agenda here?

The same person has alluded that there is a possibility that his actions might have pushed the girl to cheat on him.

If any of you have seen a comment where Midnighter held the girl responsible or accountable for her own actions post it here.
But she wants the OP to go and talk to her to Hold her accountable in the name of closure




A man was on his own facing his life and his hustle, nursing a broken heart from a cheating girlfriend. The girl is on her own deciding to cause commotion and confusion and yet, He is the one getting himself into more trouble.

See more evidence here.


Once again she is blaming the OP for the girl's actions.



She wants him to cut her off. He did that


In the presence of his sister no less. Yet Midnighter still blames him for her subsequent actions.
How can she be suggesting that he cut her off and yet she still wants him to go and meet her for closure?

See this midnighter babe is mad confused.

She has an agenda and she blames the respect55 for every single thing that has happened. She wants to influence him to take her course of action and she is covering up her attempt at manipulation under the guise of Logical thinking and seeking closure.

Once again here she is blaming Respect55 for the girl's infidelity


Go and find out is different from the cut her off she was suggesting earlier. So which is it?

Once more. More blame for the OP


The challenge is still open. Find me a post where Midnighter held the girl herself accountable for her actions. I'll wait.


She wants the OP to follow her suggestion and she is very sure that her suggestion would have prevented the whole thing. When it comes her way, she is completely sure of the girls actions.



But how can she be so sure that the girl won't continue the manipulation or still go ahead to drink poison when she sees that the OP is refusing to change his stand, when she has admitted the following before




Someone even replied her and told her that


Even repeated what I said above


Guess what. She never replied him.

See at this point, it should become clear to everyone that there is no Logic and reasoning here from Midnighter.
Only an agenda and an attempt to coerce and shame the OP into taking responsibility for actions that are not his and to do something that is not in line with his values.

dannybrasky
I888
Korllami007
tejiri4
rs172
jamesfadairo

U have all the times in ur hand.

Goldensword:
Interesting, please keep us updates on any development, i have learned a lot so far from your thread

Thanks. Wish u well

Samcent:
I thought I was the only one that saw that.
However, my mind is telling me something oh...

Meanwhile, Respect55 did I read that her mum said a short prayer for you?
E be like say the babe family even commend your maturity. Family begging things might also be in the package for you.
Please, maintain a peaceful and cordial relationship with her family.


Much respect to you. Cheers!

It's not the first time she is doing that. She Call once in a while to pray for me.

I also ran into the dad after Bible study this evening

For those of u guys exchanging words with a lady, don't you think you can do better than that?
She had used many excruciating words on me but it doesn't affect me. You are a man and not a woman. Let her be. Allow her to type.

The mum called me few minutes ago that she has been discharged from the hospital and is doing pretty fine. I said thank God. She asked me to hold on that she wants to talk to me, i kept my cool becuase I don't like disrespecting me elders.
She:Hello dear,
Me:Hi
She:I'm back from the hospital. I'm sorry for everything.
Me:No problems
She: So tell me, when are you coming to our house?
Me:There will be no need for that.
She: Really?
Me: Sure.
(The line went dead at the other end)
After some second ;
She: Can I come to your house?
Me: Don't worry about that. It won't be necessary either. You know this.
She stopped talking so I waited for like few seconds and ended the call.

I think that will be all.

Modric Ronaldo should be the one handling that over to Messi. It was his but they gave it to you

jamesfadairo:
O.P , kudos to you, been following this thread since last week, you handled the matter well and I'm even impressed as you made it a "no sex" relationship from the onset. As for the people talking about the closure or no closure, I'm glad you didnt allow their comments to get you worked up coz I am so sure they would be the same people to crucify you ifyou had flared up at the initial scene where she was exposed. For me, the silent treatment you gave the lady is the best! I wish you a happy and Godly relationship when you are ready for another one.

Their vindictive comments and castigaions will have same effect as the p in psychology. It's just that they dnt understand. I shared my story and some persons are hell-bent on lecturing me about how better I should have talked the situation. That's preposterous. I never asked for any.
I did what I did my own way. If it's not the best, they should keep their best and use that when they find their selves in such a situation.

I took my decision when I walked into them that day and no amount of bashing will change a thing.
Human beings will always talk. An average Nigerian girl speaks about 2 thousand weds a day. So when I see some of them talk even when they should keep mute, I don't get discouraged because I know they are unknowingly trying to meet their mark. They are still the courteous ones who keep mute even when they should talk. Their words many look forward to becuase there are few and powerful.

Allow them to talk. I read them.

Logobenz0:
Na there you fvck up be that.

Your thought solely

Why are u guys wasting time replying to quotes that you should just ignore and walk over. This is heartbreaking

Watch likeminds come for his head

I went with the parents and my elder sis today to the hospital for her to be discharged but that wasn't possible again. The doctor in charge said a final test will be run tomorrow in the morning.

That's to say that I won't be available for that tomorrow. Her people can take care of that. They are more than capable.

As we were leaving the hospital, I told the parents with the elder brother that came along that I won't be chanced to come in the morning. They understood. The mum said a short prayer for me and I left with my sister.

Friends, I'm not under any pressure. Everything I'm doing is solely out of my volition. A broken relationship doesn't necessarily mean there must be absence of peace. There is no bad blood between my family and hers. All is under perfect control.

Refund the fans their money

midnighter:
Lol! Shoved our beliefs down his throat like she shoved some noxious substance down her throat and nearly landed him in prison abi

Wtf is wrong with you people! Birds of the same feather that I will be telling somebody I love you John after cheating on the same John with no explanation...rubbish. That's the kind of story they like around here

Advise somebody maturely you people won't...just keep encouraging the wrong thing until he gets himself into more trouble

Why is it difficult for you to mind your own business? Why cry more than the bereaved?
I, John, don't have any problem. I haven't gotten myself into one either. I have faced my fear as a man and I count no loss.This single post of his is more important to me than all u have offered all along.
That been said, I never had you in mind when I shared my story. As such, I won't bother again about whatever thing u say here. Shame on me if I reply u ever again.

abdeiz:
@OP I can only imagine how traumatic it must have been for you. Honestly I admire your cold demeanour and the way you so maturely handled this.

Do not mind those up there trying to shove down their own beliefs down your throat. Ignore them please. They are birds of the same feather with your ex even worse sef. May we never come across their type in our lives ever.

Definitely your plan for people to learn from your story even if its one person is a success. I've taken some tips from you in handling such situations.

Take care bro.

That sounds nice. I have always told them that I shared so that people will learn and not to criticize me. When such befalls them, let them handle it the best way they would. Their backlass and unguarded utterances can't get close to me. I'm not a weakling.
Let them keep on talking, it doesn't make any difference.

uboma:
What did I miss?

Did she return to beg you?

It's difficult to follow the thread page by page, kindly tell me the page you posted the updates so I can read up.

Thank you.

I can't start searching for updates and pages please. She will be released from hospital today. But then, nothing has happened

I888:
the way you handled it is the best way to deal with women...

No emotions, no complaints, no fighting... Just cold composure.

She will eventually come back to beg you.

Alright.

I888:
You killed that girl...

How do u mean?

Sultan5:
Totally agree with you. Take it easy on her going forward tho. Be as gentle as you can be. But keep your distance if you can. If she comes to you, hear her out, even if it won't change your mind in any way. At least do it for her own sanity. Use kids gloves this time please.

I wouldn't advice you get back with her, for your sanity. But its ok if you want to, you know her much better. More wisdom bro.

I must say, I am very impressed with how you have handled yourself thus far. Cool, calm and astute. More grease bro.

Taken. U did well. Thanks once again

I hope they don't delete this man

zyzxx:
Good evening bro, I have been following this trend all this while now waiting for the step the lady will take.
Bro i know you have stand your ground of not taking her back, I respect your decision and I know your have right to stand your ground, and truly if u insist that she is no more coming back nobody can blame you
But let me remind u, life is not all about right and wrong sir
we use to offend God he use to forgive us
This lady, to me have tried, although she might not do it the right way In which most of us expect ( coming to u, bring all her family etc) but she shows you mean the world to her.
She could even try to take her life cause of u, (forget the term she is trying to black mail u, Who joke with poison?, her pride is just taking the best out of her) anyone can make a mistake. I believe she will learn from this and it even an opportunity for you to shape her to who ever you want her to be because with this she already knows where her heart belongs.

Bro, to a spiritual man everything is spiritual, don't mind me, it might be devil sees you guys great future together and want to scatter it...
Do u know the next lady u are going to meet? As the matter of fact that lady will also had one time made mistake in the past or u will be her own mistake also, it a stage we will all pass thru in life

No sin is too big to forgive. To err is man
On a final note : A devil we know is better than an angel we never knows.

Bro Pls forgive if you truly love her
Love covereth all sins

U have done well. Thanks for the time. Sincerely I don't bear grudges. I don't hate her. I'm not even happy that all our efforts have gone down the gallows. But you see, I have learnt to accept the things I can't change. It's not about me, it's about my heart. My heart is no longer there. This thing called love is one funny thing. You can imagine a situation whereby the person you used to look forward to seeing makes your mood bad at present. It's not my fault

I still went with her people this afternoon to see her. I asked how she was doing she said fine then turned her face to the wall. I didn't say anything again.

I have no ill feelings whatsoever towards her. The love isn't just there anymore. It comes naturally.

hafeezsemzy:
Interesting story. @respect55 you acted maturely by not causing a drama. I might not know exactly how you feel. But I know how it feels to be betrayed by someone you trusted and planned your future with.

Well..in as much as I hope you find the love you deserve in marriage, I also hope she finds peace.

Ofcourse, a relationship with her won't work because of broken trust.
Although, she is human, she deserves your forgiveness.

I feel she wasn't matured enough to handle the issue but you know her more than any of us here. So she could as well be manipulative.

Satisfy your conscience and do what you feel is best for your sanity and emotional stability.

I wish you well.

Thanks. I appreciate. Happy new month

rs172:
Good evening bro, please don't be caught offguard, keep contact with your lawyer or still get another lawyer incase of anh mago mago.

I appreciate. Thanks for checking on me

lefulefu:
make sense.they have nothing against u..biko for the sake of ur sanity just give that babe a big space.

I did that that night I caught her

lefulefu:
Respect55 hw far? has the father made good his threat to arrest you? if so how is ongoing progress? Anyway as long as u had no hand in her attempted suicide they have nothing on you.if them invite you to police station biko yarn everything wery happen.no keep some issues from the police..tell them everything and if they insist on arresting you get a lawyer or you make ur case known on radio.there have been cases of guys wey sponsor a girl from secondary school to university level and when the girl graduate she will dump the guy giving reasons of the guy being to old for her or too local or na illiterate and some mumu men would take their life.na how many of such girls dem don arrest.in ur case she cheated on u and u moved on.its not by force to stay in a relationship.just come clean and tell the cops everything.even though naija police can psych at times they will let u go if they hear ur story.and oh i forgot..abeg if the babe spend money on u while u guys were dating just codedly calculate the money and give her back cos thats the first thing she will come for if she recovers.

Thanks for your concern. You can check my initial posts to read up all u asked. We haven been to the station and hospital and the dad has withdrawn the case and will pay the lawyer I came with. I'm doing fine

midnighter:
No problem, I wish you the best of luck Sir.

Thank you dear

MissCookie:
Uncle, you are becoming too emotional. Nobody is blaming you for wanting a breakup, infact, every normal human being would want that considering the dirty role your ex had in it.

How you chose to break up is the bone of contention here. Mind you, I really do not care how you choose to handle your shit, but as you clearly stated, "you shared your experience so others would learn from it". Same way, I am putting it out there, clean closure is the way


You said you knew it would get to this, so you knew your ex is a suicidal psychopath?
Wonders!

Don't insult her. Leave her alone. She wronged me, not u.
Clean closure is how u feel things should b e sorted out. Not that it's a general way it should be done. Your position of breaking up is purely subjective.

midnighter:
Yeah! You were punishing her to make yourself feel better and now youre suffering the embarrassment. When she came to cry crocodile tears to your sister and bow her stupid face on the ground you should have opened the whole case for her and used your sister to bear witness that she is a big liar.

You sat quiet and allowed her to act out her useless drama in order to bait your sister and make you look like the bad person when that was the perfect moment to expose her.

She then staged a coup d'etat against you and ended up in the hospital, waited until her whole family was around, slowly peeked through her beautiful eyes and said in a croaking, soft voice "I love you John" like she was in a Steven Spielberg movie. And by then, you couldnt reply anything because her whole family was watching you for clues.

Lol! I didnt say there must be something lacking in you. I said that it is possible that she had a grievance with you, which she reacted to by cheating. I didnt say that doing so is right, just that it is possible. It would have been better for you to get the whole story out of her and counter her argument than just let her run riot and spoil your weekend.

Now that she has landed you in the police station with her father talking rubbish, are you seeing the insult of the whole thing now You should have been the one to take charge of the situation and arrest her to her parents, not her father summoning you as if he's the chief priest of some dreaded shrine.

Lol wealthy only daughter bawo, is it why she is turning your life into a folktale? When you meet a manipulator you have to look past your emotions and have all bases covered so that the person wont be able to ruin you.

They say women are like babies, women are emotional, women blah blah but all I have encountered in this thread is bitter, irrational, illogical responses from emotional men who refuse to think laterally and see the bigger picture.

so to you I'm suffering?
It's laughable when people jump into hasty conclusions in a bid to sound smart. I never told u I'm sufdering dear. I'm doing pretty fine. Believe me.

wirinet:
It's a bot, short for robot. It's a software that automatically bans users who use certain words or break certain rules. It's all done automatically without any human intervention. Something it misbehaves like all things software.

If you want to report an indiscriminate ban, use the link on the romance home page called mail mods after create new topic and follow links.
You can report your concerns there.

Thanks

MissCookie:
Omo see gbese ooo!

I recall how midnighter adviced that you should opt for clean closure, most people on here wanted to rip her tongues out.
Now you are caught up in this mess, an ugly predicament you would have dodged if you had gone for closure.


Ladies and gentlemen, seeking closure does not mean cowardice or weakness or inferiority complex, as a matter of fact, you seek for closure for your own sanity and for you to be able to move forward, peacefully.

Haba! Op would have invited her and some of his close families, tell them to their faces what she did, listen to whatever stupid excuse she wants to give and tell everybody his unquivering STANCE on the situation. That is what you call closure, maturity and a clean breakup.

You lots let your emotional side get the best of you but forgot that after one, then two.


Op, you are just the luckiest person, if that lad had died, your name would have been sorry.

Now the closure you refused to seek for, you will be forced to initiate it, albeit in the full glaring of plenty people.


Good luck!

No one advised me to do what I did. I shared my story. I didn't ask for advise anytime. I feel no regrets. I knew it would get to this but believe me, I still stand my ground. I can never sit with her. What's all these?
She should continue siting with the guy she was with that day. She should have thought of all these before cheating. She knows I don't tolerate cheating because I don't do it.
The no-sex affair was our general agreement. I didn't force her into it.

midnighter:
My dear, Telling you the truth is not hating you.

You should have gone to resolve the situation rationally and let her go instead of being focused on punishing her and dragging the whole thing out, it was not necessary

You know the kind of person she is and youre letting her drag you through the mud. What is the essence of all this lawyer and police matter now? Did you tell her to kill herself?

So I'm now the one punishing her, right? U probably don't know what I have been through. I have also read where you said there must be somewhere I'm lacking in that resulted to her cheating on me.Bow could you say that. I just chose to keep quiet.

She happens to be the only daughter of a wealthy home. I would even be surprised off they didn't react.

healthserve:
Tell that to the gods. And cry me a river while at it. Your energy and intensity speaks volume on issues. Tell this to her and him when y'all see yourselves offline.


I repeat not one thread will touch him. You may be ignorant but allow me educate you


1. He didn't initiate any action directly or by proxy


2. There's nobintent to do harm nor was he around the vicinity not is there substantive prove he caused harm leading to a bruhahaha


3. She confessed to his sister before hand proving there's overwhelming case against her to give into emotional trauma


4. He can sue her for damages and win for character assassination, defamation of character in which She'll face serious issues if he tos this line. I would personally . by trying to commit suicide and pin it on him she's guilty of trying to inflict harm and pinning it on someone else.


See Ola. You never see case. People that have seen cases always run from trouble.


Leave story. If he needs support. I'll come out and bring hell to the entire fracka.


That is why many males die untimely cause females won't to kill them on the name of love.

Nonsense

I'm sure they never knew I could come with a lawyer. In no way am I responsible for what she put herself into.

Olanre05:
I don't know why we Nigerian's are irrational with our thinking, we are so quick to judge and the likes. I advised the OP to see his Ex and listen to her and they can move on from there, but all I got was insults and curses, the gullible ones who thought they had sense where advising him based on there level of maturity. If we all have kept to a voice saying the OP should listen to her and make his decision from there. It won't have gotten to this level. I advised the OP to inform his FAM and that of the ladies as well. If you had informed her FAM, they won't drag you to the police station for an offence you didn't commit.

My question for you is according to your post,saying she wrote a note and your number is in it, during the time you guys were dating, didn't you by chance meet any of her family members and don't they know you guys were dating.

Get yourself a very good lawyer, in your statement remember to state that you have picture evidence of them clubbing and other evidence you have to prove your innocence. Mind you the guy she cheated on you with will be invited as well. Stand on your ground, Nigerian police are the highest manipulators. I wish you good luck..

I stated it here that I used to talk with the mum. When you write, be careful not to say things that will hurt the feelings of others.
You talked of Nigerians bring irrational in their thinking, you don't have any ground to establish that. That someone doesn't buy into your own view doesn't make his irrational.
Then again, there is no gullible fellow here advising me not to meet her. It was a decision I took by myself. Don't call people names to Fri e home ur own point.