₦airaland Forum

cococandy:
Virginity means nothing unless you’re keeping it for someone who’s keeping theirs for you.

Silentscreamer:
bloggers and their lies.
Btw mbappe is good, but after playing for 10-15 years, he still would not be able to tie messi's shoe lace.

Seekuzer:
Silence would have been golden in this case

Timbuktuo:
It could very well be that the MIL is the troublesome party and it could also be that the wife is the belligerent one. We cannot tell. We only have this story to go on.

We should endeavour to be as dispassionate as possible in discussing such matters, despite our biases or what we think the trends are. All mothers are not the same, some are angelic, some are psychotic. Some pick unnecessary fights with their DILs, some do not.

Also, possession of presence of mind is a crucial asset. If this man is found guilty, he has a criminal record. Period. A criminal record is a major stain on any individual who wants to achieve anything of note in life. It doesn't show much wisdom if you allow someone else's actions ruin your name.

Eketem:
With kids your age

Eketem:
What exactly is demanded from men during in laws visits?

A woman is expected to cook and clean after them.

She is expected to smile always even when she is having a bad day

She is expected to tolerate all sorts.

It's too much work.

I cannot imagine having a new baby and putting up with all that

I am happy women are now realising the stupidity in any sort of pretence. Most of these things are caused by poverty sha. If you have a chef, a professional nanny and and we'll to do family members nobody will be discussing these things

pocohantas:
I don't care, anyone who is so barbaric to beat up another should be at the receiving end.

pocohantas:
Wifey beat MIL for messing up the house. Isn't that how some men beat up their wives for allegedly running their mouths?

Is it because their sons, who also double as your sons, are not old enough to fight for their mothers?

Una done see as e dey pain. Very good.
You all should learn anger management.
They can settle the issue in their village meeting.

JoannaSedley:
Oh sure he will!!! Screaming to the heavens how women are the scum of the earth

Eketem:
Not realistic Sir. Let spouses discuss these things and respect each other. Too much is demanded of women

Eketem:
And I am asking you if you were the one who shows up at your brothers house and his wife says to him to tell you to go back to where you are coming from because she is not aware won't you open another whinning post here?

JoannaSedley:
Thank you Sir.
You just told a story of what your brother did to his sister in law, if your wife do something like that all hell will break loose. Haha. Atmosphere ko...na only woman dey create atmosphere. FYI. A happy wife can do anything for her inlaws. Marry first and watch your wife get insulted for telling your sister to boil yam.

Eketem:
I honestly agree, however these things should be discussed and agreed before marriage, unfortunately most men feel it is their homes and so they need not discuss visiting relatives with their wives, and most women pretend to be nice and accomodating before marriage.

People should be honest and have these hard discussions first.

Women are more happy with their relatives staying over because while the man doesn't need to spend more time or to change his schedule to accomodate a visiting relative a woman has too. A man who goes to work at 6 am will still do so if his mother in law visits,but a woman needs to stay, prepare breakfast, say good morning, attend to the needs, come home to make more food and clear dishes etc. But with their own relatives they can say " sister make your own breakfast I am going to work" with an in law saying that will be deemed disrespectful

Eketem:
It is wrong for both sides to do it hence my suggestion that these things be discussed and agreed.

However for your Elder Brother he can say let her sister return to where she came from but a woman is expected to accept the visitor like that and change her schedule to keep the in law happy, if she says she should return from where she came from world war will happen

Eketem:
A couple should discuss and reach a compromise on these issues:

1. Do we want relatives staying?

2. How long should relatives stay?

3. How should in laws request come?

4. How do we handle in laws conflicts ( if your mother , sister or father offends me how do we handle it?)

Unfortunately the situation for years has been that men who believe it is their house do not consult with their wives before bringing relatives over even when they consult they don't accept any objections from the wife and declare her a bad woman if she says she is not comfortable with in laws over.

Sadly the women then become passive aggressive with the in laws.

I find that discussing and agreeing on these issues saves a lot of heart ache and drama

Eketem:
1. Moving on doesn't mean remarriage, if she is working she can get her own place and live her life with her child or shared custody, she won't die. Also many single parents have and are still remarrying even men who beat their wives and got away with it have remarried, even wives who cheated on their husbands remarry. People are not living in 1865 anymore.

2. Yes, sometimes it can be creating a hostile atmosphere, if my wife and my mother do not normally get along, if my wife needs the kind of help my mother may not be able to provide or if my mother instead of aiding my wife is creating more work for her in that state.
Maybe if women started bringing their own father's to stay in their husbands houses regardless of how the husband feels you may start to understand why sometimes friction happens.

I belong to this century, I have kids grown up and I respect myself and give them space. If they get married I am a busy person, I have raised them well, let them enjoy their time and space without my influence. These generational issues need to change

Eketem:
1. Moving on doesn't mean remarriage, if she is working she can get her own place and live her life with her child or shared custody, she won't die. Also many single parents have and are still remarrying even men who beat their wives and got away with it have remarried, even wives who cheated on their husbands remarry. People are not living in 1865 anymore.

2. Yes, sometimes it can be creating a hostile atmosphere, if my wife and my mother do not normally get along, if my wife needs the kind of help my mother may not be able to provide or if my mother instead of aiding my wife is creating more work for her in that state.
Maybe if women started bringing their own father's to stay in their husbands houses regardless of how the husband feels you may start to understand why sometimes friction happens.

I belong to this century, I have kids grown up and I respect myself and give them space. If they get married I am a busy person, I have raised them well, let them enjoy their time and space without my influence. These generational issues need to change

JoannaSedley:
Please stop putting words in my mouth. Both of them are animals and were wrong but the husband will be served hot for not being proactive. He thought the wife will let her beating slide as he let his mother's beating to slide.
Coming to nairaland won't save anything

Eketem:
She can make another home, she can rent her own house, it is not so difficult to move on anymore. A conviction however has legal implications

Eketem:
Still a conviction and who says either the mother or wife could not have died from the beating, that is why violence should be avoided.

If the mother had health issues and died from one slap or the wife who just gave birth had health complications and died?
I understand all that. But what do u think could make a wife lay her hands on her mother in-law knowing fully that the husband will be back in the evening for her to report whatever the matter was.


This is why violence and counter violence should not be encouraged sometimes it takes one blow to death

Eketem:
As painful as it is I will calm down and use my brain instead of my fist.

I will be useless to her if I get convicted and end up in jail or with a conviction on my record.

Secondly I will have tried to avoid a situation where such hostility may occur, one by marrying a sane spouse, two by not putting them in situations where resentment will breed. Having a baby is a lot of work, I won't add mother in law issues to it

Onechancearmy:


Believe Techno at your own peril. It is ALWAYS about working hard. Luck will only take you so far in life. And if you drop out of school, you are placing your destiny in the hands of blind motherluck. Life is not always a lottery and even if it were, not everybody who plays the lottery wins.

Eketem:
Good, they should get the medical report from the doctor.

Unfortunately he will also be convicted if found guilty of assaulting his wife when in the first place if he had been patient and reported only the woman will have had a conviction

Eketem:
Good. I hope in future he will sue first instead of resorting to violence. Let them all answer for their crimes

JoannaSedley:
He wants to, what? He should've filed the suit aeons ago but he thought he can beat it out of his wife as how scores are settled in primitive holes like Nigeria. He is a sissy, a puss.y and unworthy son for his mother.
We should be hearing how he is taking legal action not this he wanted to stories.......

Eketem:
Assault is a crime serious one. You get convicted even if you don't go to jail it is on your records you will have to declare to employers and embassies

JoannaSedley:
screen shot and post it here

JoannaSedley:
You see where you are wrong. We are talking about Omugwo in Igbo land. Omugwo, the Igbo tradition and you are uploading the tradition of other ethnic groups.


I rest my case